Sexual Safety

HOLY SPIRIT’S HELP

Over the years, I have gone after making sure the kids know the following safety boundaries:

I share this often because I think it is VITAL. When my children sin/disobey/get out from under my instruction, 100% of the time Holy Spirit gives them a check or speaks to them. I want to teach them to obey HIM more than obeying me. When they were little and would hit, I would come to them and say, “How does your tummy feel?” and would help them to see that ‘bad’ feeling is Holy Spirit telling them that hitting their sibling is not good for them.

This generation NEEDS the leading of the Holy Spirit to maneuver through their world. Because we have already laid the foundation of these boundaries, when my children want to venture out into the world, I simply ask Jesus first and make sure I am feeling peace. We talk about the specific safeguards, and I send them out the door with confidence that Jesus has them, AND should anything come their way, they are prepared and empowered to handle it.

FEAR/INTIMIDATION

I do not need to introduce my children to fear; the enemy has already done that. But when it comes, I use it as the touchpoint of where my kids are going to get introduced to how BIG their God is. If they saw something with their eyes that made them afraid, we began to talk about how Jesus’ blood can wash it clean. If they felt afraid because I was gone, we would talk about how Jesus kept them safe. I was not teaching them about fear but about where God is IN the scary moment. It’s just as important to make sure children know they have authority over the fear and can deal with it in the name of Jesus’ like a police officer deals with the bad in our city. 

PARTNERS

Over the years, I have gone after making sure the kids know the following safety boundaries:

We move in partners – period. To this day, we have a rule that whenever they want to check out another aisle at the store, go to the bathroom or hang out at the mall, they have to have a partner. It is non-negotiable and one of the ways to safeguard vulnerability. It has been a bit of a challenge over the years with my son, especially with public bathrooms. I generally find the family bathroom and wait for him outside. If he has to use the bathroom alone, I would stand at the door and say something like, “I will wait for you here,” but loud enough for others to hear. I do not believe this is helicopter parenting; I believe it is standing on guard in an area where people have preyed on vulnerable children. 

A WAY OUT

Over the years, I have gone after making sure the kids know the following safety boundaries:

The kids were empowered that anytime they felt physically, emotionally, or sexually unsafe, they could tell a teacher, go to the principal’s office, call me, text me, ask to come home, kick, yell, run away. I told them if they ever got in trouble for keeping their bodies safe, I would back them up. I think we sometimes set our children up for failure when we tell them to respect elders and always be kind. Yes, that is true, but we also have to give them a way out and permission if someone violates that trust. While we all hope nothing ever happens, the reality is it does! So, what steps have you given your children to get safe if they find themself in this boat? Think of Stop, Drop, Roll. It’s 1, 2, 3. Fire = 3 quick action points to get you safe. Should they feel unsafe, what are the 1, 2, 3 action points they can take to be safe? 

BOUNDARY LINE

Over the years, I have gone after making sure the kids know the following safety boundaries: 

Our family rule was: No man, woman, or child had a right to touch, look or photograph their private parts, and they were not allowed to look, touch or photograph anyone else. We called it keeping ‘sexually safe’ just like I would say, “Wear your helmet to keep your head safe,” “Look both ways to keep your body safe,” or “Don’t touch the stove to keep your hands safe.” 

BODYGUARD

Over the years, I have gone after making sure the kids know the following safety boundaries:

Going after empowering my children to ask Jesus questions and how to discern His reply has been KEY and not only protected them in situations but prevented things ahead of time. 

SECRETS

We have a zero-tolerance for secrets in our house. When a child was caught telling or keeping a secret, I took it very seriously. My children have heard me say this often and know withholding information is a form of lying. 

TEACHING THE WORD “NO!”

Over the years, I have gone after making sure the kids know the following safety boundaries: 

How to say NO firmly – We would role-play a lot. Instead of role-playing traumatic situations, I told them I wanted them to walk to the other side of the room, and they each moved across the room. I had them race back and forth until joy broke out. I then grabbed a child’s arm playfully but firmly and moved them back and forth at a fast pace. I then stopped, and we sat and talked about how we manage our bodies and are in control. I asked the child whose arm I took how it felt to have someone else dictate their steps. They didn’t like it. I agreed with them and told them NO ONE has a right to control your body other than you. We then played again, but this time I had them look me in the eyes and say NO.  Three of the kids mastered it, while my soft, gentle daughter struggled to say it firmly because she felt mean. It took time for her to learn she is empowered to say NO!

PORN

One reason why children look at porn is that their parents are not teaching them about their own God-given body and are too afraid (or ashamed) to talk about it with them, so they go to the internet out of pure innocence only to be exposed to the vulgar side of sexuality. Children need to learn about sex, sexuality, private parts, and body functions from PARENTS in the HOME!

I DECLARE…

I DECLARE we WILL receive the KEYS of heaven to help this generation navigate the sexual perversion attacking their future marriage bed, gender, identity, and purity. Jesus was in hell for three days collecting the KEYS we need for TODAY, and I am determined to hold them in my hands. The battle feels heavy for many parents in this area, but I DECLARE the keys will prove that HIS yoke is light. I DECLARE that this generation will come out from under the burden of sexual attacks and EXPOSE the spirit behind it for what it is. I DECLARE not only will they be victorious in their personal life but will rise up and defeat the enemy in the lives of those around them. If God created sex and called it GOOD, then He has a PLAN to help this generation steward it well.