Rejection

Rejection

WE WILL REAP TOMORROW WHAT WE SOW TODAY

The Father cares deeply about what is happening in our homes today because He sees the fruit it will produce.

During a parent coaching session, a mom shared that she had difficulty growing up in her home. There wasn’t a lot of love, and she felt rejected by a sibling, which caused a lot of pain and confusion. When she graduated, she wanted to get far away and start over someplace new. She left her home and traveled to another country. Can you imagine the parents whose family is broken up years later simply because they didn’t know how to help their children get along when they were younger? Ask any mom in the season of grandparenting; we will reap tomorrow what we sow today. Good or bad, our choices will grow fruit. If you want your children to have unity when they are older, we must sow into their relationship when they are younger.

AT EASE

This testimony is one of MANY. Parents are waking up to the fact they have been managing things in the spiritual realm that require their authority. Sudden and instant changes are happening in their homes as soon as they deal with it.

“I was dealing with this (spirit of rejection) in a major way and repented of it last week after watching your live call. Things have been completely different in my house since then. My connection with my first has been so healthy and peaceful.” 

Thank You, Jesus! Why was there a sudden change? Because our children feel the spiritual realm, too, and often respond to it negatively. A spirit of rejection will cause them to feel unsafe, insecure, and alert to their surroundings. The moment mom resolved the spiritual conflict, the children felt at ease again.

PROCESSING YOUR HEART IN A HEALTHY WAY

Our children have been walking through so much, and I want to share this in confidence that it will help someone else reach their own child. 

While sitting at dinner, I noticed a mark on my child’s hand. It was unusual, and I asked about it. They immediately started telling me how no one had done it to them. I have a strong core value about siblings not using their strength to communicate, and they were trying to protect their siblings from getting in trouble, but something felt off. We were laughing on my bed the following day, and I noticed it again. I asked, and their response was almost pleading with me that it was nothing. I let it go, but about ten minutes later, I sensed God highlighting it again. I asked them to show me how it happened as their story didn’t line up. They acted out how the mark happened, and it was almost comical how impossible it would have been to create a mark like that. I knew something deeper was going on. I could discern two things: #1. They were covering up something, and #2. They were worried they would be in trouble. I told them I was not mad and that it wasn’t about getting in trouble but being free from whatever it was. I asked them to get their journal and process the story with Jesus (because they know they can tell Him anything and that He is their safe advocate). I was in my room praying that Holy Spirit would lead them and convict their heart (because we partner together to raise my children). They returned, holding back tears, and told me they made the mark themselves. Since cutting is a serious issue, I was most alarmed. They began to tell me that the other day they felt alone and wanted someone to SEE them (yes, kids can feel unseen when you are together 24/7 in a household of 7). This is a child in pain and not having the maturity yet to fully walk it out. 

Children often make messes in their pain. When we only focus on the ‘mark’ or mess, we will miss the pain that is underneath. If we are not alert, we will push the pain further, causing them to want to self-protect, which only traps the pain. I knew they had just experienced adult-sized rejection and radical injustice and asked how they felt about it, and they burst into tears sobbing. The injustice done to them would cripple most adults, and their pain was valid. My heart bled for them, but it allowed me to help them process the pain and bring it to Jesus. They needed to know that Jesus saw their heart (not just their immature way of communicating). Here is the sad part of the story. They got what they wanted – for someone to see them, but with it came shame and embarrassment for what they did. It gave me a priceless opportunity to sit all of the kids down and talk about healthy ways to process our hearts without the price tag of shame. Things like porn, alcohol, shopping, swearing, lying, self-harming, etc., are just flags being waved, saying, “I am in pain and need help.” Our children are also learning how to deal with their pain as sons and daughters.

UNWANTED BABIES UNITE

 I remember the story of a mom who adopted a girl from China, where the abortion rate of girls is high. These precious human babies were unwanted and were expected to be aborted, but for different reasons, they were born full-term and adopted by American families. These girls grew up and united in their efforts to change their homeland. They were tossed aside as invaluable, but their deep resilience has caused them to unite together and be part of the change. Do not underestimate those who have been dismissed and tossed aside. They were never lost to God. I see those dismissed in the church coming back with a vengeance but not to pay back. To bring back what was lost and missing in His House.

NO REMORSE

Sometimes parents come to me really concerned over their child’s lack of compassion or remorse when they make a mess with others. While empathy (the ability to understand and share the feelings of another) is something to foster in our children, often, this is not the issue at hand. When a child has partnered with a spirit of rejection, they have a filter over their eyes and see everything through the lens of “they do not like me.” It is hard to accept responsibility for your reactions when you believe others are at fault for the mess.

Wondering if this is something your child is struggling with? Ask, “Holy Spirit, will You please show me the root of my child’s lack of compassion and remorse?”

NOT ON MY WATCH!

Rejection means to dismiss. Dismiss means to push or send away.

A spirit of rejection is at play against this generation like never before through abortion, sexual exploitation, and gender identity. But there is a subtle form of this same spirit in operation in many homes, including Christians, that I want to expose. Scores of parents are dealing with profound feelings of disgust toward their children. They repel them and long to ‘get away from them.’ This is a very vulnerable thing for a parent to admit, yet I want to suggest something. I do not believe this is always coming from WITHIN the parent but rather ON them. It is the same spirit of rejection seducing parents to turn on their children at this hour. Why? Because parents are gatekeepers over their children both physically and spiritually. When they forgo their post, children are vulnerable. When parents are alert, awake, and active, they are like a lion with their eyes locked on the predator.

If this is you, I cannot encourage you strongly enough to GO LOW and repent for partnering with this demonic spirit. Command the spirit of rejection to GO in Jesus’ name. Invite the Holy Spirit to come and rebuild your heart connection with your child and fill you both with power, love, and peace. This spirit aims to break the connection and covering over your child and lead them into emotional and mental isolation. No to hell on my watch!  I declare my children are wanted, loved, and seen. I declare I have what it takes to parent them well in this season. I declare my children are a joy (if not, I will train them to be honoring and respectful). I declare the blood of Jesus covers my children. I declare my love for my child is unconditional and secure. I declare _____ (add your own)! 

SPIRIT OF REJECTION

A young girl had trouble staying in bed at night because of recurring nightmares. During a coaching session with the mom, God revealed a spirit of rejection that was affecting her due to some earlier life experiences. We used our authority over the spirit of rejection, and the mom messaged me to report that her daughter went to bed without fighting. WHY? Because the issue had nothing to do with her bedroom, sleep, or being alone and had everything to do with what she was encountering in her room. You cannot manage spirits. You have to use your God-given authority over them!! Period. It is for FREEDOM that Christ gave His life!

BLACK SHEEP OF THE CHURCH

I feel a bit like a broken record, but when I wake up, God often tells me what to post and lays a theme or words on my heart to share. He has brought this up over and over and over. So, I share once again out of obedience to Him. I once talked about the black sheep of the family and how it is normally the child who resists the family’s operating system that God is using to bring generational things back into alignment with Him. I think the same goes for the church. God sends people – perhaps unrefined and immature – who carry something that the church needs to come into alignment with to reflect Him better. Leaders can embrace the mess and let God move in a new way, OR they can walk in power and control and reject the person in an effort to ‘protect’ the flock, missing the purpose altogether.

If you have been rejected as the BLACK SHEEP OF THE CHURCH, I encourage you to please watch this!!! Process your heart well and allow the wounds to heal BECAUSE YOU ARE NEEDED FOR THIS HOUR! You carry what the Body needs. While others may have misunderstood you, God has not. You might not be responsible for the actions of others, but you are responsible for how you respond. Do not let orphans in leadership roles rob you (or us) of what God wants to do through you. If you do not have time to watch this entire video, listen to it while driving or making dinner. I have also broken up the segments listed on our YouTube channel.

Hurt in the Church #1 – YouTube

ISOLATION

As someone who endured profound emotional and mental isolation in childhood, being alone long term is not healthy for me. I know my capacity and take active steps to make sure I am in community. When I feel the most weary, I realize it is because I have come under LIES of isolation. I have to actually reset my mind and heart back to His TRUTH. Let me share them with you in hopes they will align you with His heart and break off discouragement. 

**I break agreement with the lie I am alone. 

**I break agreement with the lie that I can’t be in community right now. 

**I break agreement with the lie that isolation is my duty. 

**I break agreement with the lie that says interaction is wrong. 

**I break agreement with the lie that people are a danger. 

**I break agreement with the lie that I have to fear others. 

**I break agreement with the lie that others are a threat. 

**I DECLARE that God designed me to interact with others. 

**I DECLARE that I am called to impact others. 

**I DECLARE that my need to be heard and seen is a part of my wiring. 

**I DECLARE that longing for people is healthy. 

**I DECLARE that I have the mind of Christ in the midst of the storm. 

**I DECLARE that my Father leads me in all situations. 

**I DECLARE that my emotional needs are valued and valid. 

**I DECLARE that I am not in an emotional or relational time-out. 

Ask Jesus, “Jesus, will You please show me the strategy to connect with people today?”