Parenting Chaos

Parenting Chaos

DEPENDENCY UPON THE WORD!

2 Timothy 3:1-3 (KJV) – “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good.”

As parents, we are called to hear the Word and respond. When I read that verse, my stomach feels like a pit. I so do not want that for my children, nor the culture around them. However, God is alerting us to reality, and it is our job to respond. I have done a lot of things right in my parenting and have enjoyed the fruit, but I am seeing a greater need to CULTIVATE A DEEPER DEPENDENCY UPON THE WORD! I would always talk about Scriptures, Biblical principles, and our household rules and discipline that reflect His Kingdom. Still, I am seeing a need to help cultivate their own relationship with the Word even more. When I see a need in my children, I partner with God and ask for His strategy. He gave me the idea of getting Proverbs deeper into their heart. I searched for a reading plan, and we will dive deep into Proverbs as a family. My kids are older, so it will include more discussion time, but for younger children, you can act it out, discuss how the Proverb applies to their world, role play, memorize it, etc.

CHILDREN NEED THE WORD WRITTEN DEEP IN THEIR HEARTS!

CHARACTERISTICS

This is a three-for-one attack attempting to influence a child’s identity, parents’ authority and God’s goodness.

CHILD:

  • Rowing in the opposite direction
  • Fighting to be orphan
  • Chaos – tension – buzz
  • Mean spirited – no remorse
  • Feels intentional
  • Covert – doesn’t want to be exposed
  • Conflict, peace, conflict cycle
  • Defiant/obstinate
  • “Bad one”
  • All about me/selfishness
  • Pushes until you snap
  • When it finally comes to a head feels bad
  • Falls on one child – others aren’t like this
  • Child is naturally sensitive/tender hearted

PARENTS:

  • Handle it well – lost it 6th time
  • Bully spirit to taunt you
  • Rage/anger/sharp words
  • Dazes for days – deeper than condemnation
  • Shame – “What have I done to ruin my child?”
  • Battle weary
  • Trauma for battles
  • Walking on eggshells/afraid to say anything (reduced authority)
  • Peace feels so good – but wrapped in anxiety/fear of return
  • Enemy then lies – “If I had authority, this wouldn’t be happening”
  • Would prefer not to be with them
  • Sucking the life out of you
  • Soil your soul
  • Wreaking havoc on a mama’s heart

GOD:

  • Turn from spiritual things, not interested, wall, doubt against God
  • Mad at God – “Why did God make me this way?”
  • Parents’ biggest fear – reject God – (because that is the spirit behind it)

FROM HUDSON

I asked Hudson (age 17), as someone who has had his own journey and victory with this, to write down what he would want parents to know about their children and then what he wanted to say to a child directly walking through this same thing.

To Parents:

  • We aren’t doing it on purpose and want to be free from it more than you do
  • We don’t feel the spirit in the moment, but feel awful (slimed) afterward
  • Notice it afterward, and it is overwhelming
  • The anger isn’t helpful
  • Tried to do the right thing (in most cases) – just felt something working against me
  • Didn’t do it with the purpose of hurting someone
  • Don’t know what to say in the moment – feel frozen/paralyzed
  • Don’t enjoy or like when I’m being influenced by that spirit
  • Not really that mad at parents, more at self, or just mad in general; not targeted at someone.
  • Feel agitated that this keeps happening

To Kids:

  • Your parents still love you
  • You can do the right thing
  • You don’t always mess up
  • You can get out of this spirit’s influence
  • It’s not hopeless
  • You will get through this
  • You’re not helpless
  • You are not all alone
  • There are people that love you
  • You are powerful, but have to decide for who (which kingdom)
  • Your parents aren’t really mad at you – they are mad at the spirit influencing you
  • This isn’t you
  • This is not who God has called you to be

DOES THIS DESCRIBE YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

Do you have a child who is tender and sensitive in the spiritual realm, yet always seems to be in trouble? The one who causes so much chaos in the home? A few days of peace, only to lament, “Here we go again”? Does this child appear to do everything they can to break connection, as if they are fighting to be an orphan despite having a loving family? Do you feel a constant tension over this child in the spiritual realm?

Does this child touch something so deep inside of you that you react strongly and say/do things that you deeply regret and feel horrible about? Have you questioned what you have done to wound this child so profoundly (contributing to their never-ending cycle)? Do you love this child fiercely, yet, at times, recoil from them and strongly desire not to be around them (because the chaos will follow)? Do you find yourself not saying things that need to be addressed in the times of ‘peace’ in fear of the chaos kicking back up again?

Does this child make comments about not believing in God or that He is real? Do they resist things like prayer, worship and asking Jesus questions?

There is now, therefore, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, but if this describes your household, we have an issue that needs to be brought into the light and dealt with.

TOOLS

For the child:

  • Repentance, deliverance, mind renewal
  • Jeremiah 29 – plans I have for you. Does it include this?
  • Deuteronomy 11:26 – Life and death, blessing and curse – you choose
  • Free will matters – prophetic “this is (truth) what do you chose?”
  • Must hate what He hates – must want to be free from it
  • Can’t want healing without Healer/deliverance with Deliverer

For the parent:

  • Pray/fast – get humble heart before Him
  • Hebrews 5 – come boldly
  • Communion daily – let Him show you what to bring to the Cross
  • Word curses – repent/reverse
  • Family tree – both sides – stand in the gap – remove any hooks
  • Authority – put down the butter knife/pick up sword of Spirit – double edge
  • Fight enemy, not child
  • Worship – spend time with Him, ministering to your heart
  • Isaiah 53 – Jesus took upon Himself all curses
  • Deliverance = mercy, kindness, love, not anger
  • Not fighting CHILD, but enemy together – draw it out “U + I = same side”

Repentance:

  • Crucify flesh – Yes Lord, I HAVE done these things
  • Walk through each item of 2 Timothy 3 and confess/repent

Deliverance:

  • Command spirit of lawlessness to leave invite Holy Spirit to fill them up

Renewing the Mind:

  • Mind attack – train wheels set in motion/reverse it renewing of the mind
  • Go after opposite
  • Murder shows, violence, movies of disrespect, etc. = NOT helpful
  • Repent/pray daily
  • Write out truth declarations and create a paper chain for them to open and read each day. Renew that mind!

HOLD YOUR GROUND

If the chaos should return – repeat until it breaks.

Stand your ground, take authority, fight FOR your child.

Remind them of their choice – “Do you want to partner with this again?”

Bring them back to the throne room.

Pray with and for them daily.

Children ARE still in character training, and you will see their flesh, but the tension should be gone.

TESTIMONY

“We began by going after deliverance while our son (age 6) was sleeping. We went in for a second round, but with him, and have been actively reminding him who he partners with every time he makes a choice. As suggested, I wrote down the opposites of all listed in 2 Timothy 3 as a paper chain. He’s been opening one per day and declaring these truths over himself. 

I sat down to email this because my kids are all off in the house happy, calm, playing together. This NEVER used to happen. At least not in the past 18 months or so during which this spirit has been tormenting our home. I’m so so so so grateful. My nervous system is beginning to heal.

I wanted to share because we are so GRATEFUL for the changes that have begun in our family. Thank you for being obedient and sharing your family’s breakthrough!”