We are not called to manage God’s house. We are not managers. When leaders operate like managers, they will treat God’s house like a modern-day business. This breeds a confusing hurt more than anything. God wants His house to be stewarded by mothers and fathers who know His heart for His children. Orphan leadership – when leaders do not know who they are – causes leaders to operate out of the wrong kingdom. When a leader is leading through those orphan places, God often allows someone who has more freedom in that area to walk into their church or join their team. There will be a natural tension between the leader that needs growth and the other person walking in freedom. The leader has two choices. They either exercise their authority through the fire hose of fear, shame, intimidation, and control to shut the person down so that the leader can feel safe and comfortable or go low with God about their lack and need for Him in that area. The choice will either strengthen or weaken the family. It will either bring increased growth or welcome hurt and pain for all parties involved.
WHEN LEADERS BECOME MANAGERS
The church is not the Father’s business! It is FAMILY! When churches are run like businesses, they are managed by managers only looking for the best to serve their cause, vision, and brand. When churches are run like a family, the messes, immaturity, and foolishness of a young child are what give healthy mothers and fathers a place to love, cover and teach them how to mature and grow their capacity. It also serves as a refining process for leaders to become more like Jesus by dealing with messy, imperfect people.
I invited a gal to join me for the classes I was leading and knew she was hungry to serve and minister, so I looked for ways she could take steps and grow. She has a fierce prophetic anointing mixed with a breaker anointing. When she would give people words, she was so direct it was offensive. Thank goodness the people received from her okay, but I saw this and realized she could really hurt someone if she didn’t see how it was coming across. The following week we met for dinner before class. I thanked her for joining my classes and blessed the gift God has given her. I gave her positive affirmations, as there was much to point out that she was going great at. I said, “Would you be open to some feedback?” At that point, she was like a wet noodle having someone see and believe in her. I said, “I really love the way you hear God and have the confidence to share it. You see it so clearly and aren’t afraid to call it as you see it. When you said _____, it could have come across like you were exposing them and making them feel vulnerable in front of others. I would love to help you come up with ways you could say it to make sure the person can receive from you.” She got emotional and said that her whole life, she has encountered speaking the truth and people turning on her.
Look, as a leader, either you love them enough as God’s sheep to help them grow mighty in their gifting, or you don’t. If there are parts of you operating in fear of man, fear of rejection, fear of conflict, or simply do not know how to give the gifts of a mother or father, then you need additional encounters with the Father so that you can increase your capacity in leading well. But to remain in a leadership position and refuse to help His sheep is like a parent who fails to train a child in an area they are struggling in. You can either do it in a proactive, loving way that communicates care about their growth, or you can clean up the mess later when they have hurt others because you failed to address it. This isn’t about doing it wrong. It is about helping them to do it right. I tell parents not to wait until their child sees porn to teach them about it. Help empower them so that the door is never opened. Help people in their gifts, weaknesses, and blind spots in the time of peace so that it doesn’t turn into a time of strife or conflict with others down the road.
Understanding the heart and purpose of the family – in the home and church. This is why there is so much conflict in the church.
God knit your child in HIS image but with YOU in mind. He knows what you did and didn’t get in childhood and continues to parent you through your children. Parenting seems to be just fine until you have that one child who challenges you to the core. Is something wrong with the child? More times than not, no! God knit that child together in a way that aligns, restores, and heals things in you. This child is not a ‘black sheep’. This child is being used by God to change something in YOU. You can either spend the next 18 years shutting them down and disciplining them, OR you can heal what God is revealing through them.
The church is about to enter its messiest season ever. God does not make black sheep and knows what He is doing when He brings people together in the church. We have become masters at looking good, but underneath, people are bleeding. The amount of hurt in the church, youth who walk away, and spiritual abortions performed are staggering, and God is dealing with His family. Our wakeup call has already been sounded! We have endured the ‘time out’! Now that we are coming back together, we will see messes in the church like never before BY GOD’S DESIGN! He is exposing operating systems that need to be aligned with His Kingdom. He is revealing where leaders are leading from orphan places. He is highlighting areas where impurities have been allowed in. He is giving eyes to see patterns and cycles that are not bearing fruit. It is time to put away our spanking sticks in the church and discipline those GOD IS USING to create the change.
Nothing brings more chaos to a home than siblings. Nothing brings more training and character development than siblings (by God’s design). Nothing brings more chaos to a church than sibling conflict. Nothing brings more training and character development than taking those messes and allowing God to reveal, heal, restore, and deliver.
God is purifying His church and getting us ready, but we will miss it if we fail to see the areas He is cleaning up.
I joined a friend who was teaching on prayer. In the middle of her talk, someone shouted out a comment which turned into actually praying and not just talking about it. The Spirit broke out, and it was powerful. One particular lady stood up and began prophesying. She was on fire. If you have ever witnessed the Holy Spirit move through someone releasing a prophetic word, it is a powerful move of God. But the Word of the Lord was over, and yet she kept going. If one could watch a video of her, it would be easy for the average person to see where the Spirit stopped, and she began operating out of her own flesh. It happens all the time in the church because that is where people are growing and learning how to use the gifts. I was unphased by it and just received what was from Him and what was from her. Later on, I got a phone call from my friend, who was upset that this woman had ‘taken over’ her meeting. She wanted to hear my take on what happened. I told her. She was still upset, saying how this woman ‘always does this.’ I told her to talk to her and help her grow in her gifting. She was adamant that she would not do that. So the mess remains, and offense and judgments increase. Not a healthy way to lead.
Do not perform a spiritual abortion on yourself because a leader is a spiritual orphan.
I had a vision that took my breath away. I saw a BRIDE who was so stunning. At first, I thought it was a mannequin, but I realized she was a living being that was frozen in place. Her dress was the most eloquent thing I ever saw. No lace or accessories, just a solid satin dress. The purity in her simplicity was captivating. The color was so white it was iridescent. As I looked closer, I saw tiny chunks of her dress were missing. It looked like Swiss cheese. How odd. I knew it wasn’t a style of fashion, but that something was really wrong. I heard the Lord say, “Those missing parts are my children who were pushed out, removed, or banned from my Body.”
We spend so much effort climbing mountains to be influencers, yet if we would only spend half as much time going after the ones who are already believers but have been sent away, we would see a resurrection of His Body on earth like never before. While salvation should always be on our hearts, we also need to burn for those who never got a chance to live in the Body on the other side of salvation.
Pray and ask God to show you if there is anyone in your circle who represents the missing pieces of the Bride. Pray them back into the Body.
If the church is supposed to be run by mature believers who operate as spiritual mothers and fathers (not rockstars, not celebrities, not high and mighty religious leaders, not business managers, not spiritual orphans), then doesn’t this verse apply to churches too? Malachi 4:6 – “He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction” (NLT). “He will convince parents to look after their children and children to look up to their parents. If they refuse, I’ll come and put the land under a curse” (MSG).
What if part of the last days includes the hearts of those in the church being restored to the ‘parents’ of the church who have turned the children away? Or those in the church family who have judged and walked away in offense? Could you imagine the POWER in the Body coming back together to be united as His Bride to defeat the works of the enemy? Could you imagine the scores of people hurt in the church having moments of forgiveness and healing? Could you imagine the power of the blood when spiritual sons and fathers, daughters and mothers are restored? Could you imagine the joy on the Father’s face to see His children working things out? IF NOT… the Lord gives a promise of what will happen.
Hurt in the Church – Hurt in the Church – YouTube – Why? How?
Hurt in the Church #1 – Hurt in the Church #1 – YouTube – Why God Told Me
Hurt in the Church #2 – Hurt in the Church #2 – YouTube – Exposing Real Enemy
Hurt in the Church #3 – Hurt in the Church #3 – YouTube – Purpose of Family
Hurt in the Church #4 – Hurt in the Church #4 – YouTube – Familiar Spirits
Hurt in the Church #5 – Hurt in the Church #5 – YouTube – Orphan Leadership
Hurt in the Church #6 – Hurt in the Church #6 – YouTube – Judgement
Hurt in the Church #7 – Hurt in the Church #7 – YouTube – Children Are Watching
Hurt in the Church #8 – Hurt in the Church #8 – YouTube – Holy Services
Hurt in the Church #9 – Hurt in the Church #9 – YouTube –The Truth Sets You Free
Hurt in the Church #10 – Hurt in the Church #10 – YouTube – Spiritual Abortion
Hurt in the Church #11 – Hurt in the Church #11 – YouTube – Sibling Conflict in Church Family
Hurt in the Church #12 – Hurt in the Church #12 – YouTube – Get Back in the Game
After doing our video on Hurt in the Church, I received numerous messages from people saying, “I am going to return to the church.” It is super brave to come back home after being hurt, but the truth is you will never find full healing being amputated from the rest of the Body. We need you! We want you! We welcome you!