WHAT’S THE POINT?

WHAT’S THE POINT?

  • Heart Splinters, Hurt In The Church

WHAT’S THE POINT?

The kids and I were praying for a friend walking through some deep hurts from their church. It was painful to see them hurting over what feels so unjust. We were reminded of some of our own experiences with imperfect leaders. Interactions with those in authority shape our spiritual development. One of the kids said, “Mom, really, what’s the point of church? People can just go to Jesus on their own.” It was a real and honest statement from a child who has seen the ‘ugly’ side of the church. I was moved to tears and said, “No, no, no, child. The church is Jesus, and we come to worship Him, not man. Just because man has been imperfect in leading like Jesus doesn’t mean we turn on the church. We love, honor, and respect the church, AND we walk through hurts, disappointments, and being misunderstood.” I realized in that moment how many children grow up resenting the church, not just from their own experience but from witnessing the church bring pain to their parents.

If being hurt by the church is something you have experienced, it is imperative that you walk through it with your children so that they do not gain a warped view of the church. I explained that the church is Jesus’ Body, just like we have a liver, spleen, nose, eyes, hair, arms, etc. The church is made up of all sorts of different people. Just because the liver is weak doesn’t mean we give up on the whole body. We pray for the liver to be healed and whole, but we don’t give up on it. The church is family, and we do not discard family just because they are imperfect.

We owe it to the next generation to invite, bridge, and restore them to the church!

HOLY SPIRIT SHOWED UP

This was the first time I experienced partnering with God to remove the heart splinters in my children. It was glorious and left me hungry to live this as a family lifestyle.

I finally ordered my son to his room to give us all a break from the constant strife. Moments later, as I walked down to his room, I vividly remember saying, “Holy Spirit, I have no idea if I am going to yell at him, spank him, hug him or play with him when I get there, but You do!” And then I remember adding a little, “… And you better show up quick!” The moment I entered his room, it was like I could ‘see’ pain in him. I got this impression to grab a stack of paper. I sat on the floor with my (then) 5-year-old son and had him wad up a piece of paper and throw it, but while he was throwing it, he had to call out how he felt about his dad leaving. “I am mad he can’t play ball with me” (throws the paper ball and makes a new one), “I am mad I am the only boy in the family” (throws the ball and makes a new one), “I am sad he can’t tuck me in at night.” This hurting child threw nearly 50 paper balls, and by the end, he was weeping. It was one of the most painful moments for me as a mom to watch this pain seep out of him, but it had to get out. In the end, I scooped him in my arms and just held him. I called forth his worth and value and that he was fiercely loved and wanted. From that moment on, the ‘sting’ was gone from being fatherless (not that there wasn’t more to process, but the splinter was gone). There are adult men and women all over the world who are dealing with the trauma of being fatherless, but as parents, we CAN partner with Holy Spirit to give us creative ways to deal with the hurt, lies, and offenses of childhood IN childhood!

EXPOSING FEAR 1/3

While fear can be an emotion, more times than not, it is an actual demonic spirit and needs to be addressed. The enemy loves to take an event, even innocent ones, and whispers lies that feel true to the emotions based on circumstances. When we partner with the lie, we activate a demonic spirit of fear to influence us. It looks like this: Mom and Dad go on a much-needed date (normal) and leave the child with a sitter (normal). The child is uncertain about being left (normal), but in that uncertainty, the enemy whispers, “They are never coming back” (lie), and the child partners with that thought as their own, and now fear has a legal right to be there. While the parents return as promised, the lie remains because it opens something in the spiritual realm, not just in their physical minds. The next time date night rolls around, the child is tormented at the thought of being left alone. This is why kids are still afraid of certain things despite telling them the truth over and over. The battle isn’t just in their minds (lie) but is now a spiritual issue. This is why parenting is a verb, and we need to be active in helping our children with their spiritual lives. Lies are resolved through TRUTH. Fear is resolved through AUTHORITY.

HEALING THE ROOT

HEALING THE SICK

God made our mind, body, and spirit in perfect harmony, working together. When parts of our body are out of alignment, it will affect other areas. If the foot is broken, the opposite leg has to work harder. God designed them to work together. When we are not processing our emotions fully for whatever reason, it can affect our physical bodies. Disease is a breakdown of our physical bodies, but long before there is a disease, there is a lack of EASE (harmony). The medical community states that 80-85% of all medical issues (tooth issues, back pain, heart failure, cancers, asthma, etc.) are rooted in something emotional or spiritual. Meaning you can ‘cure’ the symptoms, but if the ROOT is not addressed, it will just come out again somewhere else. 

Unprocessed emotions can generally stem from three areas: #1. Their experience was not validated or was downplayed as no big deal when it was a big deal, and their heart needed a voice. #2. They do not feel like they have permission to STOP and process because the demands on them keep going. #3. There is a pre-existing condition of the heart not being at ease and new experiences are touching on unprocessed or trapped emotions. All of these scenarios can make the body out of harmony and not at ease. Many are reporting brand new physical symptoms since the virus broke out, and I want to provide you with an opportunity to process some of your emotions that may be a contributing factor. Not everyone will fit into this category, but I believe this will be a lifeline for many. What a blessing you are being given an opportunity to experience greater breakthrough and freedom in this hour. While it may be uncomfortable to process the emotional aspect of this storm, it is necessary for our bodies to be in harmony and at ease. 

Other things that help in the process are: Searching the Word to see what it has to say about that subject, praying, playing worship music, crying, talking to God, journaling, going for a walk, putting your hand on your heart and speaking kindly to yourself, calling a friend, searching online for resources, declaring truth statements, laughing and finding pockets of joy, intentional deep breathing, repenting. Let the Children Fly has many tools to help you resolve the inner conflict. Be at peace. Be healed. Be whole. Be free.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING LOWER BACK PAIN:

Is there anger that has not been dealt with? Either from the current situation or a previous situation where you are holding onto anger that needs to be validated and released? Please note that anger is a secondary emotion that serves to self-protect when we are generally feeling scared, lonely, or sad about something. The goal is not to treat the back pain but to deal with the underlying emotions that you have had to carry.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING STOMACH ISSUES:

Is there fear that has not been dealt with? Either from the current events or a previous event that left you battling fear? If the door to fear was already opened, any new fearful encounter would only magnify the existing fear. The goal is not just to treat the stomach issues but to close the door to fear using authority. 2 Timothy 1:7.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING HEART/CHEST PAIN:

Is there emotional pain that has not been fully addressed that has hurt your heart? God wants you to experience healing in this area to free you from the ongoing hurt.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING HEADACHES:

Is there a sense of losing control? God never designed us to be out of control. He designed us to be anchored to Him and His ability to provide, protect and cover us in the midst of a storm. If you feel powerless and out of control in this hour, press into the Scriptures on what He has to say about His ability to provide, protect and shelter His children. Release the need to control and hand the job back to Him.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING NECK/SHOULDER PAIN:

Similar to a headache, are you feeling intense feelings of being burdened and having more responsibility than you can bear and carry? While God designed us to be highly functioning and fruitful, there are some things He has not called us to take responsibility for. Spend some time asking Him if you have taken on the responsibility that needs to be put back on Him. The aftermath of this shaking season is not on you to fix or carry.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING FATIGUE:

If there are feelings of resentment, either from current events or something prior, it will suck the life out of you. Resentment acts like a heavy blanket on our souls, making us feel worn out and exhausted, even by doing nothing. Resentment is the deep-seated feeling that you have been treated poorly. While that may be the case, holding onto it will not create the justice you desire. Only God can use what the enemy meant for evil and turn it into something good. Release the events to Him and ask Him to vindicate and repay what was stolen from you.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING BREATHING ISSUES (that are not life threatening):

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome (Google). All of us feel anxious at some point but what we do with it is the difference between staying in anxiety or moving to faith and peace. Philippians 4:7. 

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THROAT ISSUES:

Oppression and depression can look and feel the same. Depression is rooted in a chemical imbalance and is resolved with medication, while oppression is rooted in the spirit and goes away with authority. You use your authority by speaking and commanding the heaviness to go in Jesus’ name. I encourage you to spend time inviting the presence of God, His peace, power, and love to invade your mind, body, spirit, family, home, and connections. Use your voice.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING NUMBNESS:

If any of the above emotions have been carried around undealt with for some time, and then you add the trauma of the current events, it can cause our bodies to go on overload, which can cause numbness because our system simply can NOT carry it anymore. You may be surprised at your inability to cope, and perhaps it is not just from the current events but from the current situations being the tipping point to what you have already been carrying. Holding out your arm carrying four quarters is easy, but if you do that day in, day out, for years, your arm will get fatigued and eventually become numb. It isn’t often the size of the weight, but that you have been carrying it for the length of time.

While this may be uncomfortable to process the emotional aspect of this storm, it is necessary so that our bodies can be in harmony and at ease. Other things that help in the process are: Search the Word to see what it has to say about that subject, praying, playing worship music, crying, talking to God, journaling, going for a walk, putting your hand on your heart and speaking kindly to yourself, calling a friend, searching online for resources, declaring truth statements, laughing and finding pockets of joy, intentional deep breathing, repenting. Let the Children Fly has many tools to help you resolve the inner conflict.

Be at peace. Be healed. Be whole. Be free.

THE BEDROOM IS GETTING HOTTER

Yeah, I just said that. I love it when God ministers in themes. The theme of this post is the bedroom. Walk with me through these three powerful stories of God setting women free in the marriage bed. I am sharing with their blessing. 

Mom #1 – There has always been a presence of fear and unwanted violent sexual thoughts. She would have to manage these thoughts with great effort while being intimate with her husband. God showed us that doors were open in the spiritual realm through shame and hidden sin in her family line. We addressed it spiritually by closing the door and walking in our authority. All this time, she thought something was wrong with her for having those unwanted thoughts when it was a spirit. Shortly after, she sent me a message saying she was experiencing intimacy with her husband like never before. Yeah, God! 

Mom #2 – She mentioned that she was raised with strong legalistic views about sex. I explained that sex is good and God’s gift to be enjoyed thoroughly in the context in which He outlines. Attraction, puberty, coming alive, and falling in love are all GOOD and part of God’s original plan. To partner with extreme lack, shame and legalism are just as out of balance as sexual sin or perversion. While she wanted to enjoy her husband, she felt this separation from herself, almost as if she had never fully awakened in that area when she was younger. When we have an inferior belief system that is not God’s, we create behaviors that are not in alignment with God’s best. Every time we partner with that behavior, we strengthen the release of the wrong kingdom. She assumed all these years that something was wrong with her sexually, preventing her from fully engaging, but it was a spirit lying to her that stemmed from strong legalistic views. We broke the agreement with the lying voices telling her sex was dirty and shameful, and Jesus gave her permission to en-JOY her husband. 

Mom #3 – She confessed to me that her mental thought life was unhealthy. She shared how, as a little girl, these thoughts would often visit her while on the school bus and alone in her room. She has no history of violation or seeing anything with her eyes, yet the thoughts came often. While partnering with Holy Spirit, He revealed that her mom had undealt-with sexual violation and that the sexual door was left open, making her vulnerable as a child to these spirits. I kept sensing the word ‘parent’ while ministering to her, and she agreed that the thoughts met an emotional need and brought comfort (even though she never acted on them or engaged other than in her mind). Over the years, she had a hard time divorcing herself fully from the thoughts because they did bring her comfort, despite the price tag that came with it. I was so happy when she messaged me to say she experienced intimacy with her husband for the first time WITHOUT the false comfort of the thoughts. 

All three of these women encountered sexual spirits as a child yet assumed something was wrong with them because of it. While there are cases of addiction, lust, and poor sexual choices, these women were clearly dealing with it on the spiritual level, which required walking in authority to break it. 

IDENTITY CHANGES EVERYTHING!

Three of my four kids were having a blast, but one was left out. I felt something was going on and found her sitting in the other room feeling bad and partnering with feelings of loneliness, isolation, and unworthiness. What bothered me about this wasn’t that the others weren’t sharing (though I dealt with that, too), but that my child was not walking in the confidence of who she was. I talked to her about being assertive, bold, and confident that she had every right to be included (especially in her own family). I also asked if she was ready to come in and ‘confront the situation,’ not in anger, but in the confident boldness of her true identity. She meekly walked in, and I told her to go back and do it confidentially. Of course, it began as a game with lots of laughter, but she did it nearly ten times before she could walk into the room and confidently ask to be included. 

In a world that constantly teaches our children who they are not, we must look for ways to intentionally teach and train them in the truth of who they are! Identity changes everything!

MINISTRY LEADERS

I want to plant a seed for you to ponder with the Lord. Does your ministry or area of influence reflect that of mothers and fathers caring for God’s family, or is it set up to function more like managers running a business? The latter will never produce the kind of fruit God wants His family to bear. If we are managers running a business, we will only promote those who make us look good, are excellent at what they do, and make little messes. We will choose people just like us who cause little friction. We will have success and image as the goal, not the journey. We will raise successful spiritual orphans who have learned that performance matters above character and capacity development. Sadly, this promotes rockstars of the hour, but they are not equipped to deal with the long-term weight of what God wants to do through them because they have never dealt with the issues in their foundation. If we lead from the position of mothers and fathers, we will allow God to bring to us whoever He feels best, even if that means a development process for both parties. We will judge our success by the fruit of a life transformed, even if it means there were messes made. We will value what He values, not the world. We will give those under us the gifts of a mother and father, such as being seen, heard, valued, instructed, etc., because a person can only really be their best when healthy mothers and fathers cover them. Managers may win awards and achieve success, but only mothers and fathers gain eternal rewards. Ask Jesus to show you if there is an area of your leadership and authority where you have functioned as a manager rather than a mother and father. Repent. Ask Jesus to show you how to model your leadership/influence after His. Enjoy the fruit He wants to grow and develop through your eternal legacy! 

HURTING HEARTS

Testimony from our JOURNEY class: ”I am so thrilled about the class and already see breakthroughs in our family, even though I am just learning. Today I heard both our girls, ages 4 & 5, crying and being upset at the same time. After hearing that one said ‘Eww’ to a song the other was singing, she ruined the floor puzzle they had been building. I explained that they both hurt each other’s hearts, and they told each other how they felt. Then I had them apologize and ask for forgiveness. One apologized, but the other refused. Not sure what to do, I asked her to draw a picture of how she felt. 2 minutes later, she returned with a picture of an upside-down heart and a regular heart. She said her heart felt upside down when she didn’t say sorry and that it felt right when she did. So, she went right away and apologized. All was well once again! I was pretty amazed that is how she felt when not apologizing! Anyways, thank you, Lisa, for sharing your experiences and journey and what you’ve learned with Holy Spirit. I can’t wait for more breakthroughs with Him.”

THAT’S A LIE

When I hear a child speak a lie about themselves (I am not smart enough, I am slow, I can never figure this out, etc.), I simply tell them that they are partnering with something from God’s enemy. Do they want to continue to partner with that (they do have free will), or do they want to throw that one out? Then, I told them they could kick out or throw out whatever thoughts came to their mind that wasn’t of God. Hudson, who was only four then, literally went to the front door and motioned like he was kicking something out before slamming the door. Yeah, like that! Kids need to be taught that not every thought that crosses their mind is theirs, and they can be empowered to say NO!