Mamas, you can’t speak badly about your body and not have it affect your son’s and daughter’s belief about women. They learn to honor, respect, and value a woman’s body through you. So watch what you say about yourself!
WATCH YOUR MOUTH
Pray this powerful prayer and allow Holy Spirit to restore connection with your child. “Holy Spirit, I give You permission to be my child’s Defender and Advocate. Would You please reveal to me where I have been wrong, caused a hurt or made a mess so that I can make it right?” If He showed you something, go low and ask for forgiveness.
The family operates like the gears in a machine. My sweet Ellie was in a season of big emotions (oh boy). I could tell the emotions were overwhelming her, but when I asked if she was okay, she said, “Yes. I am totally fine,” yet moments later, she released a bunch of crooked emotions. It made quite a mess and affected everyone in the family, including being late for school and my meeting. When she came home from school, she asked to talk about it, quickly apologizing. I sensed more was going on as this was becoming a new pattern and not just a bad day moment. We revisited earlier that day when I invited her to give her heart a voice, and she lied when she said she was ‘totally fine.’ We began to ask Jesus to show us why she was not honest. She said, “I am used to doing things right, and I do not like it when I make a mess.” I encouraged her to allow Jesus to speak into that area as He wants us to live whole and fruitful lives. If we are uncomfortable with our growth and process, we will move into a performance-based lifestyle, which is not His will or Kingdom. I asked her “What about making a mess makes your heart so uncomfortable?” and she burst into tears. YEP. There it is. She recalled a situation not that long ago where I had just spent the entire afternoon lavishing on her and intentionally connecting 1:1 but she came home and began picking a fight with her siblings. I had a meeting to get to and lots to do (I was running late because I was out with her). I commented how her attitude was affecting the rest of us, and since that comment, she felt like having big emotions was bad, so she lied about how she was feeling. Was that my true heart? NO! Was I telling her she couldn’t have emotions? NO! Was I trying to shut her down? NO! Did I handle the situation the best I could? NOPE. I was rushed, pressured, and honestly a bit frustrated with her that I had just poured so much into her, and she was choosing disconnection with her siblings. Her ‘lying’ was revealing a heart splinter (hurt, lie, or offense). That is a GOOD thing. As we sat with Jesus, He showed us what was going on underneath her lying and brought the lie she believed about not being allowed to have big emotions into alignment. Parenting was never meant to be a call to perfection. It was meant to operate like the gears of a machine, knowing that everyone affects each other and can be used for HIS glory and HIS alignment. She got set free from the lie. I got to model humility by cleaning up my own mess.
P.S. If you want to learn more about how to partner with God in your parenting, consider joining our online JOURNEY class: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly
I had a dream years ago that altered something deep within me. I woke up one morning hearing I was to share it.
My dream – We were sitting in a large church, getting ready to worship. The pastor called his leadership team up to the front, and they all stood spaced evenly apart on the platform standing at the congregation. They stood tall, were powerful and anointed, and stood tall way above the crowd. They were deeply honored, respected, and loved. The music came on that queued everyone we would begin offering time. As everyone went to grab their money, the ushers came and put white buckets in front of each leader. Something seemed out of place about that because we do not tithe our offering to a person but to Him. Suddenly the father of the house got up and said, “If any of my children (leadership team) have hurt, offended, or caused you harm, I want you to write that on a piece of paper and place it in the bucket in front of them.” There was a corporate mindset that honoring leaders meant being silent, and everyone froze. Fear came into the room. No one dared move. I sat there conflicted. There was no way I was going to get up and put my hurt in the bucket, yet to not get up meant I would be lying to myself. I felt this empowering boldness come over me – the courage you know is not from within yourself – and I stood to my feet. Everyone in the room stared at me, and it was painful to walk alone to the front of the room and put my piece of paper in the bucket of the immature leader who did not know how to lead from the Father’s heart. As I sat back down, I had a tangible peace fall over me. Soon someone else wrestled with being the only one standing and putting their paper in the bucket, and soon another, and then another person got up. It took 45 minutes for everyone to be honest with themselves and give their heart a voice. It was painful for the leaders on the stage to see their buckets overflowing with hurts, offenses, and mistakes. They went from being strong and confident to having eyes to see the very people they wanted to serve and love ended up being the people they had caused deep hardship. We, the people, had spoken, and it closed the gap between ‘us and them.’ The elite and the crowd. The powerful and the disempowered. The old and young. The mature and immature. The most amazing thing happened next. The father of the house got back up and released his children (the leadership team) off the stage to gather WITH the people, who immediately began to embrace, hug, and weep with them. The hurts melted away in love as they connected again, just like siblings. There was a real sense of missing each other and being reunited again. This went on for hours in my dream as we were restored to FAMILY! I woke up, and this has been the position of prayer ever since. God, realign Your family back to Your original design. Remove the stage, platform, idol worship, and ‘us and them’ from Your family. Restore us to a circle – all needing each other to move on earth powerfully – together!
I want to encourage you that there is a great invitation to give your heart a voice. Honoring someone does not mean ignoring or being silent. Write down your hurt and hand it over to God. Let Him heal, restore, and align your heart to His. God is dealing with His family right now, and your heartfelt prayers are essential, powerful, and pivotal.
There are certain areas the Lord has provided for us and wants us to steward well.
Some of the greatest meltdowns come when someone is simply overly tired or hungry. When left unchecked for extended periods, these areas can be used by the enemy to influence. God provides for our needs, but it is up to us to receive and honor them. When we deny His provision, we set ourselves up for greater hardship. God wants us to manage these areas well so that we can be the full capacity He has called us to be. Eat often to nourish your body. Resolve the injustice you feel in your heart and surrender it to Him. Reach out to a friend or loved one, invite them over, or pick up the phone. Go sleep, take a nap, and rest.
A young girl had trouble staying in bed at night because of recurring nightmares. During a coaching session with the mom, God revealed a spirit of rejection that was affecting her due to some earlier life experiences. We used our authority over the spirit of rejection, and the mom messaged me to report that her daughter went to bed without fighting. WHY? Because the issue had nothing to do with her bedroom, sleep, or being alone and had everything to do with what she was encountering in her room. You cannot manage spirits. You have to use your God-given authority over them!! Period. It is for FREEDOM that Christ gave His life!
Testimony from a mom who took our online Kingdom parenting class years ago. What I love about this is that God was putting seeds deep inside of her when her children were so little and grew them in His timing for her time of need.
She shared: “In the middle of taking your class, I didn’t know how I could use the tools you taught at the time, as they were just two and three years old. But now that they are four and five, I am starting to see the breakthroughs happen, and it’s such a blessing to be able to touch the heart splinters and have Jesus take care of them now than years from now. Lisa, thank you for choosing Jesus when it felt like all hope was lost many years ago!!!! I am a work in progress, but I am so grateful for your ministry!!!”
When my kids were little, we would play a game of ‘Hot Potato’ where we would stand in a circle, and I would toss a beach ball to one of them. As I threw the ball, I would make a statement, “You are kind,” and they had to grab the ball, discern if it was a truth or lie, and then throw it back to me, declaring which one it was.
“You are wanted” – TRUTH
“You are ugly” – LIE
“You belong” – TRUTH
“You are stupid at math” – LIE (math might not be their strong suit, but they are not stupid).
I was teaching them that not every thought they have, or words spoken over them are the truth. In fact, some of them are downright LIES and can be thrown out. Little did I know back then just how profoundly it would shape them as they got older. They are so quick to grab the thought, discern it (generally because it feels awful), and then toss it back out. Jesus tells us to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)! Grab a ball today and teach your children to discern what is a LIE and what is TRUTH.
I have been mentoring a young mom walking through drug addiction. Each time we meet, I can see this beautiful transformation happening in her physically. I told her she has this soft and joyful look about her. It was precious to see. As we talked, she mentioned that her therapist put her on antidepressants for depression. I cannot explain other than to say it was as foreign to me as if she had told me she had purple hair. Not only did she not appear depressed to me, but she was becoming more and more filled with JOY and peace. I asked why her therapist felt she was depressed, and she began to tell me how she has difficulty falling asleep each night, but once she is asleep, she never wants to get out of bed. She has struggled with that sleep pattern her whole life. I asked her if the medication had been helping her, and she said, “Not at all.” I knew instantly in my spirit; she was not depressed but a spiritual issue that needed to be resolved around her ability to sleep and rest well. I asked her what it was like as a little girl waking up each morning, and she began to weep. She said she hated waking up in the morning because she would have to leave her mama, and every time she left her, she did not know if it would be the last time she would see her. She wasn’t depressed! She had a spirit of trauma that had attached itself to her sleep and was robbing her of rest. We are mind, body, and spirit, and each part of us is affected by trauma. We cannot assume that everything that bears negative fruit is rooted in the body. Yes, depression is real when chemicals are off in the brain, and medication is required to help balance them. However, sometimes the issue lies in our mind (lies) and other times in the spiritual realm. The event can be long over, and we can even heal emotionally, but sometimes we have to be aware that things need to be resolved spiritually. In this case, a spirit had a legal right to harass her each night. The moment we used our authority, she could physically feel something shift. Sleep well, my friend, and know that you do not need to put up with that spirit harassing and stealing your sweet rest.
**Disclaimer: I did not instruct her to go off her meds but to go back and discuss it with her therapist.
Do not call a weakness what is really a wound that needs healing. We can be free and free indeed. Our HEART SPLINTERS book is for children of all ages (the adult kind, too) to help resolve the hurts, lies, and offenses that fester in our hearts and influence our lives.
Is sibling conflict breaking out in your home? It did in our house, and I AM SO GLAD! I am keeping our days moving by having a balance of rest, school, and movement. I got two of them settled on a project and took another for a brisk walk with the dog. While coming back inside the house, I could FEEL strife and knew there was conflict. My daughter came to me sobbing, telling me how she was mean to her sister and pushed her. Her tears were massive, and she was fully repentant, confessing her wrongdoings. I told her she was indeed wrong and that a consequence was appropriate, but that life was pretty hard these days, and I wanted her to spend an hour in her room alone processing and giving her heart a voice to herself. She is my easy-going, always smiling, glass-is-half-full child, and her heart needed to get real – life IS challenging right now. I moved to the other child involved, who flashed this massive smile across her face as I approached her. She did not know that I knew about the conflict. I asked how she was doing, and she said, “Great.” I said, “Really? How can you be doing great if your sister just pushed you?” and she burst into tears. I instructed her too to go into her room and spend an hour giving her heart a voice. She not only lied to me but herself. I went to her after a bit, and she began to unpack how her sister doesn’t like her and has been rude and disrespectful to her for days and that her heart was hurting. I went back to the offending child and asked what was going on, and she, too, broke down, telling of pains and hurts that have been piling up between them.