VINE AND THE BRANCH

VINE AND THE BRANCH

  • Encouragement, Godhead Parenting

VINE AND THE BRANCH

I was talking to a friend about an area in my life that is causing a lot of stress and worry. She brought me to John 15’s story about the vine and the branch, which gives us the key to bearing fruit (which I was not having in this area). Together, we asked Jesus to show us the separation, and I heard “tourniquet,” a device that cuts off the blood flow. Hmmm. That is kind of what it felt like. I asked Jesus what the key to removing the tourniquet was, and I kept hearing “turn, turn, turn, turn,” but it sounded like the word tourniquet was stuck on a broken record, and it didn’t make sense to me at first. I asked Jesus to clarify, and He said, “You keep turning and turning and turning, and the more you move, the more it is cutting off the life-giving flow between us. Stop moving and REMAIN in me.” 

The Vine and the Branches – John 15:1-8 – “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” 

Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing and hand over the reins back to Him.

GROUP HUG

I was sitting with the Lord, processing something in my heart. He told me to go grab three crowns (each member of our family has a specific crown) and put them on the floor in a triangle shape. He began to show me how so often we come to Him in a line as if we are standing face to face. That is great, except it still requires a lot of us (to hear well, discern, plug in, etc.). He said to put my heart carrying that issue in the center of all three of them. I did just that and experienced an encounter so deep that it reduced me to tears. I have never felt so unbelievably insignificant in the best way possible. When God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit huddle together for a group hug with you in the middle, something is going to shift. I encourage you to allow Him to encounter your heart today in the same way.

DISOBEDIENCE

Your child is not being disobedient to resist the things in you that are not Kingdom. What do I mean? So many times, parents come to me out of pure frustration over a child who is rebelling, angry or defiant. But once we explore the situation deeper with Holy Spirit, we discover that the parent is partnering with fear, control, or woundedness, and the child is simply reacting to what is out of alignment and will not follow that path. That is ultimately a good thing, as God parents us through our children. Not all conflict in the home is the child’s fault. Sometimes it is God allowing us to see what is in our hearts that need to be aligned. Your child is not being disobedient to resist the things in you that are not Kingdom – that’s called God’s redemption!

DAILY DRIPS

Can I give you a parenting key? Don’t just read these posts every day and say, “Amen.” Use them as conversation pieces with your family. Perhaps some days, you will call a family meeting and discuss them at length, but you can also bring them up while driving, at the dinner table, or while tucking them in at night. They don’t need the complete teaching but bite-sized nuggets to chew on. You also don’t have to have it all mastered or figured out before you can begin the discussion with them. Sometimes the best discussions are simply saying, “Hey, I read this post that talked about another child who felt fear. Have you ever felt that?” and let Holy Spirit guide your DAILY teachings and instructions of your children.

I WANT THAT

Do you ever hear of a great testimony and say, “I want that?” While the heart of sharing testimonies is the confidence God wants to do it again in your life, the focus has to be on HIM, not the fruit. We can’t just say, “I want that fruit”; it has to be, “I want HIM.” So, when you see God move mountains in someone’s life, let it encourage you that He is able, but ask Him for the keys in your own life and follow whatever He tells you in your situation.

HE IS MY DEFENDER

When I was younger, my little sister hurt her face falling off of a swing and was rushed to the ER for stitches. My mom left me behind, blaming me for it, even though I had nothing to do with it. The shame was paralyzing. When I was working through the memory, Jesus left the room (if you know anything about inner healing, you know that you want Jesus to enter the room, not leave it). We asked Jesus where He went, and I saw Him marching down to the ER. He said these powerful words to me, “I was your advocate with your mom and defended you, but she didn’t listen to me.” Tears of validation rolled down my cheeks as I realized HE saw the truth of what happened, and that Holy Spirit WAS ministering to my mom as they waited in the ER. Sadly, she wasn’t able to humble herself to His leading. I firmly believe had she been able to do so, she would have come back and made it right with me and attempted to restore our connection. Instead, it became a watershed memory that introduced me to the crippling lie that something was wrong with me.

When we mess up as parents, blow it, misunderstand our children, or get triggered, it is so important we let Holy Spirit minister truth to us so that we can clean up any messes made and not be used as instruments to wound our own children. Holy Spirit, I give You full permission to be my child’s advocate!

SHIFTING YOUR FOCUS

Learning to shift my focus is what really helps me in times of earthly stress. Say it is a money issue. I do not focus on the need for money to come in (which would seem the proper response). Instead, I focus on His goodness as my Husband. When I need something, my eyes and faith aren’t on the end result, but on HIM. Instead of praying, “Jesus, I need x-amount of money by Thursday. Please send the money.” I focus on, pray, and declare, “God, YOU alone are MY Provider.” See the difference? One keeps our eyes on the lack/need, while the other keeps our eyes on Him. The latter is the place of FAITH and REST. God whispered to me years ago to “enroll them” (meaning my kids at a Christian school in CA). That is all He said. Nine months of fear and doubt followed. Worry was on one side, and God’s gentle whisper on the other – I had to choose which one I was going to partner with. After I sold our house in Colorado, said my goodbyes, and drove four children across the country, the school called to say there wasn’t any room for them and asked what my plan B was. At that moment, my entire world could have crashed. I thought about the question and realized there was NO plan B because I wasn’t striving to make plans happen. I only had what God told me. My eyes weren’t on them getting into the school or not; my eyes were on GOD’S GOODNESS. He told me what to do, I did it, and whatever He had for us would be good because He is a good Father, Husband, and Provider. A week later, the school called back to say there was room for the children. Of course, there was; God told me to enroll them. Do we have a plan B when circumstances squeeze us? Either God is good, or He isn’t. Either He is our Provider, or He isn’t. Either He is love, or He isn’t. We can’t pick and choose when we want to take Him off the shelf and when we want to put Him back on it.

GET UP AND FIGHT!

Back in my 20’s, I was hospitalized for three months, and upon waking from my coma, I discovered I had kidney, liver, and respiratory failure. I was pretty sick and very weak. My vital organs were all compromised, and I almost died because of it. One of the hardest parts of that journey was physical therapy, where I had to mentally train my body to work again. All I wanted to do was lay down and quit. It was too hard. I did not have the muscle strength to do what my circumstances demanded of me. My muscles felt like a wet noodle. I wanted to stop. I wanted to quit. I wanted to be left alone, but my PT cared about my health journey and knew it was best to push me, call me further, and expect more of myself SO THAT I could be strong and healthy again. I am so glad they could see further down the road than my eyes could at that moment. I needed to trust their wisdom in order to pull myself out of that pit. 

Here’s the deal – many of you have been in a spiritual coma. Things have happened and caused your muscles to feel fatigued. You are like a wet noodle in the spiritual realm and have simply laid down and quit. You have allowed the toxins of life to affect your spiritual health. I get it more than you know. But we cannot remain in bed, hoping and praying that God will supernaturally step in and heal us where He has invited us to take our place. We must do our part. You have to get out of bed and begin using those muscles again, as hard as it is and as weak as you may feel. You have come too far to quit now. Your children will reap the fruit of your choices one way or another.

PERFECT FATHER

There was a time when I wasn’t fully engaged with my daughter, grossly misunderstood something, and reacted strongly. Later, when it all came out, I realized how hurt she was that she didn’t feel validated or heard. When I asked her for forgiveness, I sensed the Holy Spirit saying to add, “Father God is never too busy; He always hears your heart and knows everything about you.”

Oftentimes for children, it isn’t the event that causes lasting wounds but the lies about the godhead attached to their experiences. It is okay that my children know I am human. Still, they need to know Father God is rock solid, never loses His cool, is always available, always alert, never sleeps, and never makes a mistake. He isn’t overwhelmed, unsure of what to do, isn’t mad/upset, and is never too busy. As a parent, I can take my weakest moments with my children and use them as opportunities to teach them about their Perfect Father!

UNIQUE YOU

Corporate love works well for the one in authority but not so much for the receiver because it denies their creative expression and teaches them they need to look like, sound like, and act like everyone else. Each child is different, and we must learn how to dance with them alone. They have different styles, personalities, likes, interests, talents, desires, and ways of connecting. The sooner we realize this as parents, the greater joy there will be in our homes. It is impossible for a child to feel seen, heard, and valued when expected to be someone other than who God knits them together to be. 

Examples of corporate love: expecting everyone to work, eat, get dressed, and do homework at the same speed. Some children just move faster/slower.

Expecting everyone to respond to the same style of communication. Some children need things spelled out more, said with greater tenderness or more engagement, such as eye contact.

Expecting everyone to adjust to your spoken love language. Children speak their own language and may not have a natural high appreciation for yours.

Expecting everyone to value and appreciate what you value and appreciate. Some children are just simply not going to follow in your footsteps but need to find their own journey.

Expecting everyone to be happy when you are happy, tired when you are tired, or hungry when you are hungry. Children have different needs based on their own bodies.

Ask Jesus to show you if you are expecting your children to be mini-you’s in an area that God wants them to BE who He created them to simply be.

BREWING EXCITEMENT

In the natural, things have been hard, overwhelming, scary, and filled with many uncertainties. We all have had to walk that out. But deeper in the spiritual realm, there is a brewing excitement about what God is doing, how He is using this for our good, and what He is doing deep in the hearts of many. This is a season that will shape generations to come. 

I am looking for parents who feel a hunger for more. Who wants to go deeper still? Who feels a stirring for more in their families? I invite you to join me for our online parenting JOURNEY class, where we will go deeper, empower you on how to model your home after His, and give you the tools needed for connection, sibling conflict, resolving hurts, and changing the world around you. You can register here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly