This question is crucial for your walk with Jesus. Now that we have established through Scripture that God DOES communicate, we have to settle this question, “Does God want to speak to ME?”
We can have all the right theology we want, but if we can’t receive it, then it becomes head knowledge and not our experience. I believe this is where many people are stuck. They believe He speaks and long to have deeper intimacy yet are frustrated by the lack of personal experience. I call this ‘Holy dissatisfaction’ when you KNOW there is more but aren’t there yet. It is a genuinely challenging season to steward as this is where many quit and conclude He isn’t real, powerful, or cares about them.
People have an easy time believing that God loves the whole wide world; the red, yellow, the black, and white as the childhood song goes, but don’t grasp the depth in which He loves THEM until they begin to hear what He has to say to them personally.
Our experiences on earth teach us that we aren’t good enough, special or worthy enough to have His attention or affection. We have experienced unloving situations with people who were supposed to love and engage with our hearts. It is easy to believe that God loves the people around you, but a harder thing to have the faith and confidence you are included in that group.
God knew when He knit our children together that they would project their early experiences onto Him. He hands His creation over to imperfect people because He trusts Himself to work out the kinks in our heart and view of Him. My dad was good at providing and was the life of the party yet liked to keep things simple. I longed to connect deeper. I transferred that belief to Father God. He was good, and provided for me, but didn’t want to embrace me, hold me or be too involved in my life. My mom was great at creating special touches around the home and celebrating others yet was irrational with her emotional responses at times. I transferred that to Holy Spirit, fearing that He would be out of control and unpredictable.
I think one of the reasons people fear the ‘charismatic’ movement isn’t because they are against the Spirit of God, but because they had moms who didn’t know how to manage their emotions and are afraid Holy Spirit will suddenly become unpredictable, too.
Stop for a moment and write out three words to describe your dad and then for your mom (warm, cold, loving, giving, removed, happy, giving, unavailable). Now ask yourself if that summarizes your experience with God, Jesus or Holy Spirit. We know it isn’t the truth about God’s heart or character but is that your belief about Him based on experience?
The goal is never to blame our parents but to make sure we aren’t operating out of unhealthy belief systems that were transferred to God, Jesus or Holy Spirit out of our experiences with them. Freedom never comes from blame; it comes from TRUTH. John 8:32 – “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Let’s face it. I mess up at times as a mother. I blow it, miss it and flub it. When I go back to the kids and confess my sin, I add, “Do you know that Holy Spirit would never overreact like that? He never gets impatient with you or fails to understand your heart. Holy Spirit is so trustworthy and kind; He sees and knows every part about you.” I do this so that my humanness doesn’t become the view that they attach to Holy Spirit.
Why is this a big deal? Because when a child goes through a hard event at the hands of their parent or family, it hurts, but what creates lasting wounds is that they believe their Creator is the same way. It is hard to have hope, feel loved and secure when you have a belief that you are unlovable and unworthy even to the One who created you.
“Jesus, what lie do I believe about Your Father’s heart toward me?”
“Father God, will You please show me a picture of how much You love me?”