TRUTH-BASED PARENTING

TRUTH-BASED PARENTING

  • Activities/Teachings, Heart Splinters

TRUTH-BASED PARENTING

Ask, “Jesus, what lies am I believing about my parenting?”. I am fairly certain I know your response. No, I am not a mind reader, but I do know that the enemy throws out these seeds to all parents, hoping to get us to partner with them because it may feel or sound true. The lie you believe about your parenting most likely sounds something like the following: I am ruining my children. I am not enough. My child will grow up to hate me. I do not have what it takes.

Friends, the enemy is a liar, and you ARE enough. Not because of you, but because GOD gave you your child, and He trusts Himself to work all things out (even your shortcomings, wounds, and messes). When a parent partners with this lie, he is taking out two generations in one because a parent who believes they aren’t enough will act like they aren’t enough. If you struggle with the lie that you aren’t enough, are ruining your child, or don’t have what it takes, write the lie out and destroy it (burn it, trash it, shred it, stomp on it, flush it or rip it). THEN ask, “Jesus, what is Your truth about my parenting?” The next time the enemy throws that lie at you, counter it with what Jesus said.

SEEDS PLANTED

You never know how God is going to use something He asks you to do. I have had people buy our HEART SPLINTERS book for their childhood teachers, grandparents, their mom who is still hurting from her childhood, their neighbor, their brother walking through addiction, as a wedding gift (could you imagine the pain and conflict spared getting heart splinters resolved early on?), single moms going through a divorce, young children, teens, youth group leaders, pastors (what a gift), as baby shower gifts (what a legacy). 

Jesus, I thank You that You gave Your life to defeat the enemy so that we can walk in freedom and wholeness from hurts, lies, and offenses.

Heart Splinters BOOK – Let the Children Fly

PRAY FOR GOD ENCOUNTERS

Years ago, I attended a church with a gal. She loved Jesus, but boy, was she messy. She had a lot of emotional issues that made it nearly impossible to have a connection with her. Years later, her name popped up on Facebook, and I immediately judged her as ‘that messy girl.’ The Lord stepped in and said, “Lisa, if you still hold her to that view, it is a judgment against Me and your lack of belief that I am capable of moving in someone’s life.” WHOA. Sure enough, I friended her, and God has done a brilliant work in her. She is a fabulous mother in a healthy marriage. I learned a lot that day about trusting God’s redemptive work in the messy places of others. Since then, when I encounter a messy person, I begin to pray for those God encounters and revelations knowing God is big enough to carry them into wholeness. I want to position myself on the life-giving side of the Cross in their life!

ENCOUNTERING HIS PEACE

Gather the children in the family room and bring their blankets. Read together Mark 4:35-41 and have them pretend they are in a boat that is rocking back and forth (you role-play too). If you really want to give visual effects, use a fan (wind), spray bottle (rain), and flashlight (lighting). The point being there is a STORM all around them. Then have them get under their blanket and lay down quietly for a couple of minutes. Talk to the children about Jesus’ peace in the middle of the storm. There is so much going on around us, but Jesus promises never to leave us to endure the storm alone. We can get in Jesus’ bubble, where He calms and protects us and showers us with His peace. Practice this on the days when you or the children feel out of sorts, anxious, or worried. “Hey sweetie, remember when we learned about the storm and Jesus? Do you want to get in Jesus’ bubble now?”

TRUTH IN – TRUTH OUT

I woke early one morning with resolve in my spirit that my prayers needed to be deeper. Sometimes we knock on a door and wait for an answer, and other times we bang and bang until someone answers. I felt in my spirit the latter. Like a rubber band being pulled in two different directions, the atmosphere has so much resistance. Can anyone else feel it? Tension and pulling. I grabbed my Bible and searched deep in Psalms for verses that resonated with what I was sensing. I prayed passionately over every verse and declared with boldness His truth. Thirty minutes in, something shifted like an airplane going through turbulence before it found smooth skies. 

Friends, we are not to manage this season by just enduring. We are to keep on pressing into Him. I encourage you to gather your family, grab your Bible and search for verses in Psalms. Have children draw out the verse, create artwork with His truth, declare it out loud, write it in chalk on your driveway, make a song with the verse, etc. The point is to get His truth IN you so that it can come OUT of you.

WHO IS IN THE FIRE WITH YOU?

Read Daniel 2 & 3 and act out parts of the story. Chapter 3 ends with the abundance of favor over their lives, but there are KEYS to the favor listed in the story. Talk about the king and how he used intimidation to rule his people. Share how Daniel asked and heard God speak and how God changed the circumstances around them because of what Daniel heard. How can a person go through a fire turned up seven times hotter and not burn? It all depends on who is in the fire with you. These chapters are so relevant for today.

TEACHING CHILDREN HOW TO INTERRUPT RESPECTFULLY

Do you have kids who like to interrupt you? I taught the kids in the time of peace what I expected, and then we role-played, practiced, and got good at the technique before we were in ‘need’ of it. I explained that they are SOOO important, but so am I. When I am in the middle of something with someone ELSE, I need the respect of not having someone demanding my attention elsewhere. We had FUN role-playing what a demanding child looks like when Mama is talking to someone else or on the phone. We talked about WHY interrupting wasn’t okay and how it made others feel. The bottom line it is a self-control issue. I instructed them to put their hand on my arm, which signaled, “Mom, I need you.” It is important then for the adult to put their hand over their hand, which means, “I see you.” Then, when the timing was appropriate, I would say, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, could you hold for a moment?” and would direct my attention to them. If they came barging into the room or demanding my attention, I would simply say, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, could you hold on for a moment?” And then I would say out loud to my child, “You are so important, but so is Mrs. Smith. I need you to wait until I am done,” and then when I got off the phone, we would role-play and practice again. My kids use this tool to this day, and it is golden to have respectful kids who know how to wait their turn.

HOPE CHALLENGE

I am putting out a challenge to all Let the Children Fly families. A while ago, I was feeling really discouraged and said, “I just wish someone would see me,” and I heard the Lord say, “Go see others.” Each morning we would have devotion time as a family, and I told the kids to bring their phones. I prayed, asking God to highlight someone in my mind. I started a group text with me, that person, and my kids, and we each gave them a prophetic word. It was so life-giving to US that we did it again and again. Ever since, each morning, we have a prophetic time where we intentionally ask Jesus for a word for someone else. 

I challenge your family to join us. It not only strengthens your spiritual hearing, but it also brings light and hope to the hearts of others.

HEART SPLINTERS

John 10:10 states that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. What does this mean? The Bible says in 1 Peter 5:8 (TLB), “Be careful – watch out for attacks from Satan, your great enemy. He prowls around like a hungry, roaring lion, looking for some victim to tear apart.” I think that it can be in a literal sense, but it goes even deeper than just the loss of material goods. First, let me highlight that it does not say we will just have a bummer of a time, a bad day, discouragement, or disappointment. It says: 

STEAL – take what belongs to someone else without permission or legal right and without intending to return it. 

KILL – cause the death (end of life) of a person or other living thing.

DESTROY – put an end to the existence of something by damaging or attacking it, utterly defeating something, ruin something emotionally or spiritually. 

He doesn’t care how young or cute your child is. He doesn’t care if your child is born or unborn. We are all born into a fallen world and have the same enemy bent on one purpose. How does he do this? Through splinters in our hearts. Stealing, killing, and destroying comes in the form of hurts, lies, and offenses against God, ourselves, and others. People of all ages, inside and outside of the church, feel hurt; they feel God has harmed and hurt them and experience profound hurt at the hands of those who were entrusted to love and care for them. They are wrapped in lies about their worth and value about who God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit are and have glasses on that distort their vision of those around them. Many are offended and bitter toward God, at themselves, and those who have been used by the enemy to inflict harm. We live in a fallen world, and ALL have experienced hurts, lies, and offenses, some more than others. Christ said to Satan while fasting, “You have nothing in Me – no hooks.” He had no wounds that the enemy could use against him. If the hurt, lie, or offense remains, then something is going to be out of alignment with God, ourselves, or others. Things like peace, love, and unity go out the window really quickly when lies are present. Why? Because that is the purpose of a lie: to steal, kill, and destroy. Steal, kill and destroy what? Our connection with the truth about God, ourselves, and others. Simple, isn’t it? When our soul gets so heavy and wounded with hurts, lies, and offenses, we begin to medicate ourselves with band-aids. Some ways are more harmful than others, but they can include: running away, putting walls up, partnering with fear, becoming angry, lying, turning to drugs, sex or porn, drinking, withdrawing, yelling, swearing, isolating ourselves, etc. While these do serve to protect us (otherwise, people wouldn’t use them), the band-aids create a whole new set of problems. You won’t find any band-aids in the Bible, in Jesus’ ministry, or in heaven. They are FAULTY coping mechanisms that help us to manage the pain of an offense or wound. 

Order your copy of HEART SPLINTERS today and defeat the works of the enemy in your family room.

Heart Splinters BOOK – Let the Children Fly

SETTING CAPTIVES FREE

Picture a jail. Isaiah 61:1 and Luke 4:18 both talk about captives and prisoners, but what is the difference between the two? Both of them are in jail. One is a captive, meaning he was brought there against his will but is free to walk back out. The other one is a prisoner who has committed a crime and must have keys to walk out. The keys are in Matthew 18:23-35. When I first read these verses, I couldn’t believe my eyes. We cannot overlook this Scripture. I want to highlight verse 35. WHO? So shall WHO? It says, “So shall my Father in heaven do to you.” Guys, we have to grasp this. When hurts, lies, and offenses come our way, we have to get out of the jail they create around our lives as soon as possible, or else the unforgiveness we hold onto will hinder God’s best for us. If you are sincerely trying to get out of bondage but can’t seem to find freedom, chances are that you are a prisoner, and the name of the key to open the door is FORGIVENESS! 

Here is a rough model to follow but let the Spirit lead you: “Jesus, who do I need to forgive?” Choose to forgive and pray to release them. “Jesus, what lie have I believed because of this hurt/offense done to me?” Choose to break agreement with the lie. “Jesus, what is Your truth?” Choose to receive what He has to say. I want to add that sometimes people have sincerely forgiven yet still are not experiencing full freedom. Sometimes we have to forgive not only the offense but the FRUIT of the offense. Say someone was abused as a child, and they have walked through forgiving their abuser. But there is fruit to the abuse, such as being unable to trust people, being self-protected, feeling isolated, not feeling safe at night, etc. Sometimes we have to walk through forgiving them for how their hurt/offense affected your life. 

HeartWork – I encourage you not to be introspective about this but to ASK JESUS to show you. “Jesus, would You please show me if there is anyone I need to forgive?”

HE IS FAITHFUL

This is an excellent statement from a mom in class: “He is faithful to answer your parenting questions AND help you work out your childhood hurts at the same time.”

If we allow our own childhood experiences to go unresolved, it will cause us to parent from the wrong place.