As a child, I used to think the goal in life was to have it all put together, to need no one, and to know it all. The older I get, the more I realize the sweetest place on earth is when I have exhausted all of my own energy, wisdom, and ability and to be in that place where only something supernatural can occur. I just witnessed the impossible become possible once again! Feeling humbly grateful and thankful!
I am confident of God’s leading me as my Husband, and He has been so faithful over the years. We entered the home stretch of the election war and really wanted to hear His heart and strategy for our family. We spent time just being quiet and enjoying His presence while listening to a worship song. Then I asked the question, “Jesus, is there anything specifically You want us to do to prepare for the season we are in?” The children each heard similar things regarding strategy, and it was very confirming, but Emma said, “I heard Him say that we are to stock up in our hearts, especially with JOY, because joy gives us the will to fight hard things.”
It would be impossible to be fully prepared for whatever could come our way. But stocking up on the ingredients that will help us weather any storm is essential right now. Joy releases a chemical in our brain that gives us the will to fight and endure hard things. Joy is your weapon – stock up on an arsenal of it.
We had just moved into our new home in California when I had the strangest dream about a yappy dog outside my patio. He wasn’t annoying me but trying to tell me something. It was so real. I woke up and sensed God telling me to turn the outside light on. I didn’t partner with fear but heard Him say, “Do not look outside. Just turn on the light.” I ended up staying up after that and never felt afraid as I knew God had my back but knew something was happening outside my patio door. It was the strangest thing. There is power in TURNING ON THE LIGHT!
Once you learn the incredible ways earthly relationships can impact or distort a child’s view of the godhead (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit), it changes the way, you parent. I am constantly looking for ways to reveal to them the reality of who God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit really are. There have been times when I have not modeled it well and have responded harshly or with impatience. When I go back to make it right, I will say, “Holy Spirit is never harsh or impatient with you, and I am sorry that I treated you that way.” One of the most helpful things you can say to a child going through a divorce is, “Do you know God will never leave you?” or to the child being bullied, “Jesus would never treat you like that.” Humans fall short, but God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit do not.
I often hear comments about how ‘easy’ it is for me to partner with God in my parenting, as if somehow I have an easy button in parenting because of it (huh?). Yep! I have pressed into hearing Him for my children. Yep! I have some history with Him. Yep! I have faith that He will show up, reveal, and help me. Yep! I have a partner in parenting. But I STILL have to: Exercise that muscle! Make a choice to go to Him! Intentionally listen to Him! Be uncomfortable in the waiting! Trust that He knows more than I do! Surrender my children! I am in a season now where I feel utterly clueless, do not know what to do, and have Mama Bear emotions over my child’s choices. I, too, can often feel like I am at square one in my parenting. My history serves as evidence that He is faithful, but I still have to choose Him and do my part over and over and over again. That is how we build HIStory and partner with Him.
God’s design is that children would receive and experience things like belonging, being seen, heard, and valued, knowing the significance, and embracing physical touch.
When children grow up without these foundational ingredients, it creates lack, conflict, and heartbreak. HOWEVER, God has not left us orphaned. He is STILL parenting us. Yes, it is easier to receive in childhood when we learn about the world for the first time, but it is never too late to be a Son or Daughter and let the Father teach you. A great question to ask throughout your day is, “Father, how would a Son/Daughter respond to this?” Let Him parent you, teach you, and allow you to experience His goodness.
I had a dream. We were having a gorgeous church potluck-style gathering in a massive lodge. There was so much activity going on, from bean bag tosses to archery to great food. Everyone was lively and having a great time. Something caught my eye, and I wandered outside, where I found these larger-than-life boulders that you had to climb down a bit to get to this raging bonfire that radiated heat. It was memorizing. Many fires were going on, but each required some effort to get close to it. I was lonely outside by myself, so I decided to go back to where the party was, but as I did, I noticed a fire at the end that was really bright, and I wondered if it was unmanaged or even getting out of control. I hiked to it and found the most beautiful fire sitting all by itself. It felt so strange to have a fire with no one around. I wanted to be with the people but couldn’t abandon the fire. I woke up and heard the Lord say, “My people do not know how to be entertained by MY fire.” There has been a profound invitation to be still and at peace with His fire and to allow it to transform as fire transforms whatever it consumes. I am finding a place of peace I am not sure I have ever encountered.
How about you? Are you still longing for the party, or have you wandered alone to the fire?
I hit a low one day. My heart ached, and nothing seemed to relieve it. It was intense. I felt like I was just managing life one breath at a time. I got up early to spend time with Him, and it felt heavy. I opened my mouth to pour out my heart despite it feeling like a two-ton elephant on my lips. The Lord replied. He said, “You are accusing Me of being an unfit Father.” The weight was lifted as I repented for wanting anything or anyone else to be my hope, anchor, and confidence. Oh, You are anything but an unfit parent. You are faithful! You are alive! You are present! You are capable! You are able! You are willing! You are powerful! You are MINE!
The kids wanted to go somewhere alone, and I had mixed feelings about it. As I processed my thoughts, I told them, “You can go, but only if you listen to your babysitter.” They looked at me like I had three heads. Surely they were too old for a babysitter. I told them Holy Spirit was their babysitter, and if they agreed to listen to whatever He instructed them to do, I was fine with them going. They agreed, and I was able to hand them over to their sitter just like I did when they were younger, leaving them for the first time. I love how I can actively give my children the freedom to grow up yet trust Him to guide and protect them.
I hear this all the time – “I believe God is good and loves people, but I don’t think of Him as this fun God. I grew up with a picture that God is always very serious. His Kingdom is serious in that it’s life-changing, but the idea of playing and engaging with Him seems foreign.”
If this is your view of God, I want to invite you to sit with Jesus, His Son. Ask Him, “Jesus, will You please give me a picture of the FUN side of Your Father?” You might want to set an alarm on your phone and ask Jesus to introduce you to this part of His Father every day until you can begin to see and experience this part of YOUR Father, too. Yes, God is Almighty and serious and powerful, but He is also the most fun-loving, tender, and engaged Father.
I have always wanted my twin daughters to share a room, but God told me to separate them and give them their own space. We had so much fun talking about designing their new spaces. Lauren turned her closet into a desk area, and it was gorgeous. Emma walked into Lauren’s room and saw the hours of work, and said, “Oh man, your room looks better than mine,” She went back to her room and undid all of her work, trying to copy what Lauren did with her space. It didn’t work! She was frustrated and struggling a bit. I realized that was such a prophetic word for what God is doing in them. I told her that Lauren’s space was perfect for her, but that Emma needed to own hers and that copying or comparing herself to her twin would only leave her feeling short, frustrated, and defeated. She quickly turned her room back the way she first had it and LOVED it. Isn’t that true in life? We can’t slap someone else’s success on us and assume it fits. Thank You, Jesus, for the way You are parenting with me and aligning their hearts daily to the path YOU have for them.
