Our brokenness becomes bittersweet when it is the catalyst for crying out for more of Him.
Jesus doesn’t have band-aids.
It is hard to describe the cry of my heart for families to be awakened and aligned with Him in this critical season. I am expecting God to do big things in your family as you say YES to Him. I feel a rising in my spirit as families MARCH FORTH and take background that has been lost, stolen, or asleep in their family.
So many are in this odd, unfamiliar place, questioning if they are backslidden or have lost their faith. It feels awkward, confusing, and a tad scary. They feel like they are wandering around and unsure of which direction to go. As a watchman for families, I wanted to take 5 minutes to explain what I see happening. You will be able to partner with God so much easier when you flip your mindset from “What is wrong?” to “What is God wanting to make right?” Count it pure joy, my friend, that you are being called to transition.
Today is VALIDATION DAY!!!!
I know we have all been through a lot these past years. We each have walked through our own circumstances and hardships and have had to find our way. For me, it meant transitioning across the country, not once, but twice, living out of a suitcase for a year (it was the biggest blessing but also not home), having four kids home full time needing my time and attention, plus trying to run a full-time ministry, keeping up with travel schedule and appointments, remaining on the front lines helping so many families in despair and heartbreak, continuing to walk out my own journey, being there for the children and their needs, etc. It has been hard at times. I have felt stretched beyond the familiar. I have had to hold my ground with my YES, as well as my NO. I have had to stay uber-intentional and focused. And yet here I am nearly two years later, and 3 of the kids are off IN school full time. This morning is the day I have had my eyes set upon – the day things would go back to somewhat normal, and I could find some breathing room (don’t get me wrong, I would rather have my kids home full time all the time, but it isn’t normal or practical to do it all). Orphans have pity parties and feel sorry for them that life is so hard. They feel overwhelmed by being a victim. As a Daughter, I don’t give in to the pity party of one, but I do host VALIDATION PARTIES where I sit and validate myself. I give my journey, the hardship, the demands, and the cost a voice. I put my hand on my heart and say, “You may not have done that perfectly, but girl, you did it, and I am so proud of you. I see how hard that was, and you stayed in the game. It makes me sad you had to carry so much, but you found a deeper pocket of His grace, and you did it – together.” I love myself in my journey because, at the end of the day, I am doing the best job I know how to do for myself, my family, and the mandate on my life.
YOU deserve a party too. Why not grab your journal and write yourself a sweet note of grace and validation?
This mom owned her partnership with Jesus while taking our JOURNEY class:
“Yet this is my confession: HE was not ignorant of my woundings and shortcomings when He entrusted me with these little men. He has never called me perfect, just HIS. I can clean up any mess I’ve made by the power of the Spirit that lives within me. My God LOVES to redeem my mistakes and gives all the treasures back WITH interest. I declare that my children will not only be HEALED of any past or future wounding they might receive from me or anyone else, but they will also GAIN AUTHORITY in the process to set many captives free in the same areas. I declare that what the enemy intended for evil, my God turns to MORE good in our family. I declare that we are on the fast track as a family toward the greatness God deposited in each of us in our mother’s wombs and that we will be iron sharpening iron as we move from glory to glory!”
A mom messaged me, saying that her daughter believed lies and had shut down. She wanted my help with how to handle it. This is an excellent example of being led by the all-knowing Holy Spirit and not just checking off a religious formula to fix your child. I first asked her WHAT the lie was. She replied that the daughter believed her parents were abusive and did not love her. While that was obviously a lie, it was the daughter’s truth. I asked the mom to ask Jesus what He thought of the daughter’s words. The mom humbly returned to me, reporting that Jesus showed her that she was using a tone and responding in a way that was hurting her daughter. Can you see how a religious mindset would have disciplined the child for being so ‘un-Christ-like’ when the reality was that the mom needed to hear something? The daughter doesn’t have the language yet to explain her heart, but the words ‘don’t love’ and ‘abusive’ were the best things she had to describe her heart. The mom repented to God, and then her daughter and their heart connection grew. Can you guess what the daughter’s love language is? Children who hear love through words are very sensitive to yelling, harshly spoken words, and overreacting parents.
God woke me early and revealed something deep within my heart. By the time I was done, I was in complete awe over the revelations and His love that redeems every part of my story. Hours later, a couple came to me for parent coaching. When I asked what they hoped to get out of our time together, the dad began to explain the EXACT same situation with his daughter that God had spoken to me about hours earlier.
I want you to see this – God is sufficient to redeem all things. It is who He is, but how GLORIOUS is it that we get to partner with Him in our parenting so that we can help our children deal with owies IN childhood, so that hurts don’t become adult-sized woundedness, lies don’t become adult-sized strongholds, and offenses don’t become adult-sized bitterness. KUDOS to this dad for doing the hard things so that his daughter doesn’t need to reap the fruit of it for years.
Many believe we should shield our children and not talk to them about the big stuff. I disagree wholeheartedly! Children have some understanding, especially if it is something like a divorce or death, as they experience it, too. Not talking to them about it is not protecting them; it leaves them wide open for the enemy to whisper falsehoods to them. Do I need to tell my children all the details? No way. But it is so important that we communicate with our children. One of the reasons why kids are easy targets for lies is that their brains aren’t fully developed yet, and they do not have the same thinking capability as an adult. They aren’t mini-you’s; they are underdeveloped and therefore need a parent to guard, guide, and protect them. There is a reason that nearly all types of adult therapies, both secular and religious, take you back to your childhood. That is where lies are first embedded. Do not share all the details, but please DO talk to your children about their reality.
Your child is not being disobedient to resist the things in you that are not Kingdom. What do I mean? So many times, parents come to me out of pure frustration over a child who is rebelling, angry or defiant. But once we explore the situation deeper with Holy Spirit, we discover that the parent is partnering with fear, control, or woundedness, and the child is simply reacting to what is out of alignment and will not follow that path. That is ultimately a good thing, as God parents us through our children. Not all conflict in the home is the child’s fault. Sometimes it is God allowing us to see what is in our hearts that need to be aligned. Your child is not being disobedient to resist the things in you that are not Kingdom – that’s called God’s redemption!
The road between revelation to testimony is often long and hard but so worth it. Keep walking…