THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE

THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE

  • Hearing God's Voice, Sexual Safety

THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE

 Ellie stayed with some friends, and the moment Ellie walked in the door, I could tell something was really wrong. She told me that she needed to tell me something, and the story unfolded through an abundance of tears. She said that earlier that day, they went to another family’s house, and the adults were inside while all the children played outside. Someone completely exposed their privates to her and was assertive with what they wanted her to do. My spirit knew my reaction was vital in getting her to get it all out, but my flesh was screaming inside. I told her that I needed her to be full of courage and tell me everything that happened so that I could help her. Through her gasps of air, she began to tell me about it. “Mom, my heart was really scared, and I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t there for me, and Mrs. so-and-so wasn’t there. Mom, I was all alone….” I want to stop my story to tell you how outraged I was at that moment. Nothing had happened yet, and the enemy told her she was powerless and alone. Such a stupid, bold-faced LIE. All she had to do was yell, and all the parents inside would have come running. The enemy is such a liar! Back to the story. I asked her what she did, and she continued, “Well, since no one was there for me, I asked Jesus what I should do, and I saw Him really serious, almost mad, and He was pointing his (index) finger, shaking it saying, ‘This is inappropriate.'” I asked her what she did, and she said she put her finger in the air like Jesus did and told the person it was inappropriate. She went from a powerless victim to rising up like a lioness as she imitated what she saw her Father saying, and the person ran away. She had no mental capacity to find scriptures in that situation at her age. She needed a relationship, an encounter, and quick instructions at a crucial moment from a protective Father. Religion didn’t protect my child that day – JESUS did!

When I share this story in person, I often go into some ministry time as the majority of the people in the room had a similar situation with a different outcome. The key was that Ellie went to Him and had an encounter with Him in the midst of it, which led her out of it. But God is a big boy and can answer for Himself. It is okay to ask Him hard questions. I would spend some time asking Him questions like: 

“God, where were You when that happened to me?” 

“Jesus, will You please show me a picture of Your face when You saw what I endured?” 

“Holy Spirit, why did the person do what they did?” 

He wants to minister to you through these hard questions. I have seen some of the biggest breakthroughs in people’s walk with Jesus as they are willing to process the hard questions with Him.

MIND VS. SPIRIT

All the wisdom in the world doesn’t change a person’s heart. When I speak words of wisdom, they go from my mind to your mind; but when Holy Spirit speaks, it goes into your spirit, and that is where the real transformation occurs. One word from Jesus can change more inside of you than a 12-week course. This is why it is so crucial that we often bring our children to the Lord’s presence to ask Him what He thinks. This is creating an encounter for our children. Instead of wisdom alone guiding them, they are learning they have a relationship with the living God, who wants to help them in all situations.

ENCOUNTERING THE FATHER

In America, we do not trust a child’s ability to operate a motor vehicle until they are eighteen. We do not believe a young adult can responsibly consume alcohol before age twenty-one. Yet in the Word, which is loaded with promises and commands, not once are we given an age restriction. I want you to soak in this for a moment. The same Holy Spirit that touched Jesus – resurrecting Him from DEATH – is the same Spirit that dwells in half-pint, snot-nosed children. The Spirit of GOD ALMIGHTY is the same Spirit that operates in YOUR child. Go ahead, be a little undone by that concept because it IS huge! It is to be honored, valued, and highly respected. I often rally the kids and ask them what Jesus wants to say to us. They often hear divine wisdom that was beyond my logical thinking. This is a fun, empowering way for them to practice hearing God’s voice. Try this today in your home: “Hey kids, let’s ask Jesus _______.” 

I have a resource called Encountering the Father. In this digital download, you will receive a teaching on how to encounter the Father as a family, along with over 100 encounter question cards. Order yours here: Encountering the Father EBook – Let the Children Fly

FALLEN WORLD

My daughter has woken up extremely crabby the last few mornings. Finally, after church, she asked if we could connect. Tears poured out of her eyes as she told me of her dreams at night. They were sexual and not something she desired. She said she would take authority over it every morning, but they would come back again the next night. I was so proud of her for telling me, and we asked Jesus to show us if any doors had been opened in that area, allowing the enemy the right to speak to her in her dreams. We took authority over it together. No child is exempt from this aspect of our fallen world. While we should guard what they are exposed to with all diligence, it is impossible for parents to guard their eyes in today’s world. It caused me to call a family meeting where we covered sexual safety again. I also ensured them that it was OK to talk to me about whatever they saw or heard that made their heart feel funny. I see the need more and more to be proactive in this area and make sure our lines of communication stay open. This is not a one-time teaching, but something we need to cover often to serve as reminders and empowerment.

IT WAS JESUS

I led my group to ask Jesus to show them a time they made Him laugh and one girl busted out laughing saying, “Well, that wasn’t Jesus.” I was curious about what had just happened, so I asked if she wanted to share. She told the story of being a toddler and accidentally spilling her milk. Her mom freaked out and reacted very strongly. When the mom turned her back, she gave her mom a funny wrinkled-up face. Is it hard to imagine that Jesus laughs over us? While I do not think Jesus was communicating it is okay to be rude or disrespectful to our parents, I am sure if another adult were in the room, they would have forced themselves not to smile at the cuteness of a toddler reacting to the fury of a mother’s rage over spilled milk. So give it a try, and I dare you not to laugh at what He shows you.

PORN

One reason why children look at porn is that their parents are not teaching them about their own God-given body and are too afraid (or ashamed) to talk about it with them, so they go to the internet out of pure innocence only to be exposed to the vulgar side of sexuality. Children need to learn about sex, sexuality, private parts, and body functions from PARENTS in the HOME!

HAVE WE SIMPLY JUST ASKED HIM?

We pray, fast, believe, declare, hope, meditate, quote Scriptures, seek medical help, strive, ask others to pray, do it of our strength and lean on our own understanding, but have we simply just asked Him?

Jeremiah 33:3 (MSG) – “This is God’s Message, the God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God: ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’”

What do you need to ask Him today?

PURITY RINGS

I love the concept of purity rings, where parents purchase a ring and give it to their daughter over a meaningful weekend, inviting her to guard her purity. I think all parents should take their child’s sexual purity seriously. However, I began to see over the years that the purity ring concept was actually setting the child up for greater failure. When a teen fails to resist temptation, they build a wall with their parents because it isn’t just about their choice but about profoundly disappointing their parents, who had created such high expectations. Purity shouldn’t be a pass/fail but rather a lifestyle of good choices. I think it is wise to keep the bar high (really high) when it comes to teaching, equipping, and empowering our children with their sexual health; however, we live in a culture that is so flamboyantly sexualized. When we teach purity, we also need to be taught HOW to take our mistakes, failure, and sin and bring it to God. Fear, shame, and pride keep us in our sin, while confession, humility, and honesty bring restoration. Moral failure is a top reason why teens fall away from God. They feel like they have committed a fatal sin and are now separated from God. While it is true sexual immorality does have profound ramifications that affect our mind, body, and spirit, it is only God who can heal and restore what was lost. We aren’t expecting our teens to crash the car once they get their license, but it is wise to give them instructions on what to do in case of an accident so that they are empowered should they find themselves in that mess.

I once asked a girl in her young 20s what contributed to her choice to remain pure despite continuous pressure. She told me how her parents laid the foundation by teaching her the power of sex, attraction, and moral health and then presented it in a way that empowered her that her daily choices were guarding herself FOR something and not just AGAINST something. One is empowering, and the other one is merely obeying a command through resistance. Ex. For the person dieting, they will be much more successful if they make a choice not to eat the cake BECAUSE they have their eyes fixed on a higher goal of denying themselves now SO THAT they can fit into their jeans down the road. The JOY of the future is what helped them to say NO to the cake today. They wanted their jeans more than the cake. Another person diets simply by denying themselves in a self-condemning, shameful way of managing resistance, which only stirs up the desire for cake even more. It is rooted in willpower, “I can’t,” and rules. This isn’t a recipe for success, longevity, or real transformation. I was inspired to keep the concept of the purity ring for my girls but to do it FOR their future husbands. I took them out, and we talked about purity (not sex ed, but the purity of their mind, body, dress, heart, emotions, and relationships), and then we each picked out a tie for their future husbands. They are placed where they can see them daily and are reminded that he is a living human being on earth today. They pray for him, think about him, and some are even keeping a journal about him (wondering, dreaming, and praying for him). This establishes that they are guarding their purity FOR HIM. My daughter came home one day, expressing an interest in a boy at school. I asked, “Is that the boy you have been praying for?” and instantly, she realized, “NO!”

LET’S ASK JESUS

Ask, “Jesus, in what area do You want to increase my faith?”

Then ask Holy Spirit to fill you with the gift of faith in that area. Gather as a family in the living room, in the car, at the dinner table, or bedtime, and ask Jesus together. This is so empowering for children because they get to witness how God communicates with you, which increases their faith, and together you get to encounter Him. Spiritual hearing is a muscle that is strengthened by worshiping and praying. The more you do it, the stronger you become at it.