Does this statement describe your parenting? “I carry so much guilt that I am messing my kids up due to my wounds and try to control everything.” If you are hungry to get off the merry-go-round of guilt and shame, join our online parenting journey, where I will give you tools, solutions, and activities to align your family with His. You don’t have to spend the next 18 years parenting like this. There is a better way that includes connection, peace, and joy in your home.
Mom guilt is the feeling of guilt, doubt, anxiousness, or uncertainty experienced by mothers when they worry they are failing or falling short of expectations in some way. Mom guilt is the tool of the enemy to render you hopeless. Faith is God’s tool to render you HOPEFUL because of His power! How would you fill in the blank? “I am guilty of feeling guilt about _____?”
Declare out loud: “I choose to break agreement with the guilt and hand it over to God because I trust in who He says He is.”
I have said for years, “Parents, do the heart work so that your children don’t have to clean up the mess.” This mom is willing to do the hard work for the benefit of her grandchildren. Breathtaking.
“Jesus’ flashlight (tool) was a breakthrough moment for us. The concept of heart splinters helped my children to see what was going on. Their delight in knowing Jesus wants to take it out so they could be healed was tangible and beautiful. I do feel like it is quite the growth curve for me based on the parenting that was passed on to me, but I am committed to doing the work. I envision what their lives as adults will look like as we address these things in childhood, and should they become parents themselves someday, the jump start they will have to navigate this with their children.”
In the natural, things have been hard, overwhelming, scary, and filled with many uncertainties. We all have had to walk that out. But deeper in the spiritual realm, there is a brewing excitement about what God is doing, how He is using this for our good, and what He is doing deep in the hearts of many. This is a season that will shape generations to come.
I am looking for parents who feel a hunger for more. Who wants to go deeper still? Who feels a stirring for more in their families? I invite you to join me for our online parenting JOURNEY class, where we will go deeper, empower you on how to model your home after His, and give you the tools needed for connection, sibling conflict, resolving hurts, and changing the world around you. You can register here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly
I am sharing a dialogue between myself and a mom in our JOURNEY class.
A mom shared: “I definitely desire to have a deeper relationship with the Lord; however, I sense fear as a barrier. Fear of losing my children. I almost lost my daughter when she was an infant. I remember standing in that hospital room telling Him I’m ok with what He decides to do (heal or take her). He healed her, and she was considered a miracle! But ever since, I have had a fear of losing her again.”
My response: Thank you for your real and vulnerable post. I am so sorry you had to walk through that as a mom. I want to expose the fear in operation and then help you resolve it. When you walked through that experience with your daughter, it happened to you physically, emotionally, and spiritually (mind, body, spirit). God healed her, and she lived so that the immediate trauma was physically over. I am sure there is a vast amount of emotions that you had to process and are still processing ongoing due to her needs. However, I want you to see that experience also happened to you spiritually. It WAS a scary event for you, as it would be for any mother. There was a real threat of loss, and that was horrifying. Your fear of losing your children is a lingering spirit of fear from that event. The event is over, and your daughter lived, but the spirit of fear has remained. We could say it this way – that event opened the door to the spirit of fear, and the door is still open. We need to close the door and renounce partnering with it. We want to resolve it because in the spiritual realm, we welcome and invite in what we fear, and fear has no hold on you as a Daughter. It is there specifically to steal, kill, and destroy your peace and trust in God. I encourage you to spend some intentional time walking through this.
Here are some steps to coach you, but let Holy Spirit guide you. Pray out loud, “Fear, I see you. You are exposed. I no longer partner with you over the fear of losing a child. You are a liar and not my friend, companion, or guide. I break agreement with the lie that torments my mama’s heart. I break the agreement that God is not in control. I break the agreement that I need to live in worry and fear over their physical well-being. Fear, I command you to leave now in Jesus’ name. You may not speak to my mind, the things I see, the things I hear, my nervous system, or my memories. Holy Spirit, I invite You to come and fill my mind, eyes, body, and memories with Your presence and Your peace, in Jesus’ name.”
I also encourage you to picture taking each child in your hands and handing them over to God. He is their Father and needs to be the head of their lives as any other way will put pressure and worry on you as their mom that you are not wired to carry. Surrender their well-being, number of days, and safety to Him. As you do this with each child, then ask, “Father God, if keeping them alive and safe is Your job responsibility, then what is my responsibility?” Let Him teach you how to parent your children together, each knowing what you are responsible for and what you aren’t responsible for.
Parents, do what it takes so your children don’t reap the fruit of your wounds and hurts.
I believe with all my heart that we can teach children how to effectively deal with the hurts, lies, and offenses that come their way and put the ‘Band-Aid’ businesses out of work in their generation. What if the next generation was taught how to deal with the ‘hooks’ and had no need for the sex industry? What if they had no taste for drunkenness? What if their hearts were so whole that they spent their money advancing the Kingdom instead of nursing wounds?
These are the testimonies I love so dearly. This sweet mama took my class one night and sent me a testimony before she even went to bed!
“Something awesome just happened with my daughter. When I picked her up tonight, I could immediately tell something was off, but the Lord pressed me not to ask anything until we got home. When she was in bed, I went to say goodnight and asked her if she would like to ask Jesus why she was feeling what she was feeling. She said yes, so we asked Jesus what was going on. She said that Jesus said there was darkness in her heart. We asked Jesus where the darkness was coming from, but when I asked her if Jesus said anything, she said, “No… well… yes… but it was different this time… He said not to worry because I’m His, and He is mine.’ Lisa, I just started crying. I feel like with all this heaviness, Jesus is saying and showing that He’s breaking through all of it. I just wanted to share that with you. Thank you so much for teaching me how to do this. It’s been a revelation for me as a parent, connecting with the kids as well as connecting the kids to Jesus.”
I received this from a mom who took our online class: “DON’T GIVE UP HOPE!!! If you’d have told me two days ago, that my teen daughter would talk to me till 1 am in the morning, I’d have said it was impossible. If you’d told me that my defiant, self-harming, oppositional girl would also hold me tight and hug me for almost a full minute, I’d have cried, longing for you to be right. If you’d told me that this self-proclaimed atheist girl would tell me that she is ‘giving God another shot,’ I’d have wept, thinking that day would never come. YES… all those things happened last night. I was the hopeless person on this FB page all the time. Some of you have supported me so much through this hard journey and remember my girl. I just HAD to take time to write here that THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!! She is still proceeding with caution, and I am parenting her with SOOO much grace and mercy, and love. DON’T GIVE UP HOPE!!!”
Years ago, as a homeschool mom of four, we went to the library weekly. I cared deeply about what their little minds were feasting on and had a high guard against witchcraft, sexual material, and language. They would bombard me with, “Mom, can I rent this one?” I finally said one day, “Ask your Father!” They asked Jesus, and 9 out of 10 times, He said NO. The amazing thing about children hearing their Father is that their spirit knows it is the truth and can be trusted. I was filled with joy to receive this testimony.
“We’ve been slowly learning to hear His voice. My nine-year-old just came to me with a book on cd from the library and said that God told him not to listen to that one. He put it back on our library shelf. I’m so thankful for your teachings that have helped me connect my kids directly to Him, as I do not have time to pre-read every book they want to read.”
Isn’t this precious from a mom taking our online parenting JOURNEY class?
“God showed me that I still live like a spiritual orphan by not always accepting His love and joy. He made them very clear to me through this experience. While walking home from taking my daughter to her bus stop, I saw a homeless man in our neighborhood, which is a very rare thing, like that has never happened before. I asked Jesus, ‘What do You want me to know about this person?’ I heard, ‘He is loved. I love him immensely.’ Today I heard, ‘You behave or feel as if I treat you the way homeless people are treated in the world; that’s not true… I love you immensely.’”
