THE GIFT OF DISCERNMENT

THE GIFT OF DISCERNMENT

  • Activities/Teachings, Atmospheres

THE GIFT OF DISCERNMENT

As my children wrote their Christmas lists, I began to think of the gifts I wanted to give them. God had been highlighting to me that the gift of discernment is going to be essential in the days to come. It is just that – a gift. We don’t earn it, but we can ask for it. The Word says many will fall away because they could not discern (tell the difference between) what is not of the Lord. They will embrace what feels or sounds right, even though it is from the wrong kingdom. They will fail to walk in discernment. God does not look at the outward but rather at the heart. The gift of discernment is the pair of eyeglasses that helps us to see what He sees. The antichrist spirit will, at times, look, sound, and feel so close to the real thing but must be discerned as a counterfeit. Parents, go after asking for an increased measure of discernment for each of your family members.

HOW TO TEACH DISCERNMENT – Go to the local craft store and purchase a fake apple, lemon, or banana. Then purchase from the grocery store one that looks similar. Call a family meeting and blindfold the kids. Make it fun and silly. Set before them each fruit and ask them to feel them. Which one should they eat? Move the fruit away from them across the room and have them take off their blindfold. Now ask them which one will nourish their bodies. Bring them to your children and liken the gift of discernment to that game. God will tell us deep inside of us what is true and what is fake. What is holy and what is unholy. What is right and what is wrong. What is from our Father and what is from the father of lies. Spend some time praying for an increased gift of discernment for each family member.

In the days ahead, practice discerning things as a family. **Increase exercises in “Let’s ask Jesus.” **Ask, “What is Holy Spirit showing you about that?” **Check your gut – how are you feeling? Then walk into a store or new atmosphere and check your gut again – how are you feeling? We can discern the atmosphere by paying attention to what it feels like. I was fine in the car, but I felt afraid and worried as soon as we walked into this store. Discernment lets you know it isn’t you but the atmosphere.

I AM SORRY…

Is your heart caught in a cycle of saying “I am sorry” over and over from a mess you made with your children? I ministered to a mom who said with tears streaming down her face, “I will beg my son for forgiveness for the rest of my life.” I told her that needed to stop and that I wanted to help her resolve that once and for all. While the world would tell her she messed up and made poor choices, I see it differently. She is a product of choices that her parents and grandparents made. She did not have the language or tools to discern what was going on in her world. She needed drugs and alcohol to escape the torment and pain. I don’t think that is a bad mom. I think that is a mom who needs help becoming a Daughter. When we make messes with our children (we all do) and partner with the accuser, we wallow in guilt and condemnation. We then come to our children in a bent over, broken, pathetic, insecure way that only makes THEM feel unsafe. We are teaching them that mistakes are fatal. We need to be modeling for them grace, forgiveness, and connection even when we are at our worst. I coached this mom on how to forgive herself, and then I taught her how to minister to her son’s pain. Yes, he suffered heartbreak because of her choices (he was taken away when she was in jail), but IN THAT PLACE is where we get to show them who Jesus is. I coached her on how to begin to have conversations with her son that mistakes do not equal rejection or abandonment. Just like he gets time outs for his choice, mom had hers, but Jesus never left him. This mom who is becoming a Daughter just got reunited with her son full-time! If you think about them, pray for them as they continue to walk this out – together!

HONEY VS. HORSERADISH

Do a teaching with your children on our mouth and taste buds. Explain that our tongue tastes things that are bitter and sweet. Next, blindfold the children and lead them into the kitchen for a science experiment. Place a tiny dab of horseradish on their tongues and ask them what they think and then place a drop of honey on their tongues. They will probably beg for more. Share with them Proverbs 16:24 and discuss how our words need to be like sweet honey, not bitter horseradish. Practice role-playing some scenarios: What would words full of honey sound like when someone takes your toy? Is in your space? Has hurt you? How can you use words of honey to encourage others? Show honor to your parents and teachers? The goal is not the absence of negative feelings or reactions but to respond in love despite being upset or hurt. You can also take the opportunity to teach them how to be intentionally ‘sweet’ with their words as opportunities arise to bless others. In the days ahead, when you hear harsh tones and unloving words, call out, “Oh, that sounds like horseradish to my ears!” When you hear them speaking kindly, you can say, “Oh, I love the honey coming out of your mouth!”

This lesson was taken from our Character Counts SOAR parenting magazine. If you are interested in more activities, you can purchase your digital copy here: Character Training SOAR Magazine – Let the Children Fly

I AM THEIR TEACHER

Teaching children to walk in character is a VERB, and it is best done in the home by loving parents. 

LET’S CHOOSE LIFE

Proverbs 18:21 (MSG) says, “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Parents, let’s CHOOSE LIFE over our children every morning. You can do it verbally, on the bathroom mirror, in a frame (and change it weekly/monthly), or in their lunch box. Each day speak a fresh organic declaration over them or sit down and write them out for your whole family. We each wrote our own and had them posted on our bathroom mirror. I like to do it every morning on the way to school. When I pass a specific building, that is my mental reminder to make sure I am intentionally calling out who they are. I want them to walk into school wrapped in the statement, “I love you. You are important to me. You matter. I am proud of you. You can do this. You are my favorite. You are smart. You have got this. I believe in you.” This is easy on good days but vital when peace seems to go out the window in the mornings.

Here are a few – · I love being your mom! · If I could choose out of all the kids in the world, I would choose YOU. · You have got this. · I loved that you _____ this morning. · Your best is enough. · Best day EVER! · Go shine your light BRIGHT. · You are God’s answer to those around you. · I am so glad God put you in our family. · Being your mom is my favorite job. · I love you, and Jesus loves you. · You made a mess this am, but I love you anyway. · I am so proud of you. · You are such a hard worker. · I believe in you. · You are a joy to be around. · Your siblings are so blessed to have you. · You matter. · I love you to the moon and back. · That was really kind of you to do that. · You make me smile. · There is no one like you. · I love to see how you are growing up. · You are so special. · You are awesome! · I love seeing you smile. · I appreciate you so much.

THE SOLDER, ATHLETE, AND FARMER

Gather the family in the family room and have the children read 2 Timothy 2:1-7. The more you allow them to participate in things like reading, the more engaged they will be in the lesson. Then, on a piece of paper or whiteboard, write out the different attributes of the soldier, athlete, and farmer. What types of character or skill sets does each of them require? What makes them unique? Think about how tired the soldier must get at times, how the athlete does what it takes regardless of how they feel, or how the farmer labors hard, not knowing if the sun or rain will appear. Read verse 7 and spend some time responding. Think over these three illustrations, and may the Lord help you to understand how they apply to you.

MESSES THAT REMAIN

I joined a friend who was teaching on prayer. In the middle of her talk, someone shouted out a comment which turned into actually praying and not just talking about it. The Spirit broke out, and it was powerful. One particular lady stood up and began prophesying. She was on fire. If you have ever witnessed the Holy Spirit move through someone releasing a prophetic word, it is a powerful move of God. But the Word of the Lord was over, and yet she kept going. If one could watch a video of her, it would be easy for the average person to see where the Spirit stopped, and she began operating out of her own flesh. It happens all the time in the church because that is where people are growing and learning how to use the gifts. I was unphased by it and just received what was from Him and what was from her. Later on, I got a phone call from my friend, who was upset that this woman had ‘taken over’ her meeting. She wanted to hear my take on what happened. I told her. She was still upset, saying how this woman ‘always does this.’ I told her to talk to her and help her grow in her gifting. She was adamant that she would not do that. So the mess remains, and offense and judgments increase. Not a healthy way to lead. 

RELEASE & REST

Rest is not being inactive. Rest is the position of our heart after we have released something over to God and left it in His care. We cease taking matters into our own hands and operating in self-sufficiency. We hand over the transaction to Him, and at that moment, we are in restful confidence He can act on our behalf. We rest in the assurance that He is able, capable, mighty, willing, powerful, and active in our lives. Simply put, spiritual orphans can NOT find rest because the world’s weight is on them to self-provide, self-protect, self-defend, and self-secure. But as Sons and Daughters, we have a Father who is alive and well and wants to help us. Have you ever sat on an aircraft and watched people attempt to put their luggage in the overhead compartment? They struggle to lift the weight of their carry-on above their head while juggling their coffee, trying hard not to hit the person in front of them. Along comes a flight attendant in full confidence in their ability to help lighten the load and get them situated. Have you ever watched a child struggle to tie their shoes or fasten their pant button? They get frustrated easily with their lack of ability. A loving parent comes alongside them and, with ease, eagerly helps them. The Father is like the flight attendant wanting to carry your load. The Father is like a loving parent wanting to help in your time of need. Rest is not simply doing nothing. Rest is releasing your burdens for Him to do something. 

HeartWork – “Jesus, I surrender and hand to You my burden of _____.”

POLICE BADGE

Call a family meeting and ask your children what would happen if you walked into the middle of a busy street and held up your hand. Nothing would probably happen. Next, ask what would happen if a police officer walked in the middle of a busy street and put up his hand. Because of his badge, he has authority. Not only that, but all of the courts back him up. We get to be police officers in the spiritual realm because of the badge of Jesus, and all of heaven backs us up. We get to tie up the bad and then unleash all the good stuff!

I share more about the police badge teaching and authority in this video. Watch it with your children. Teaching Children Their Authority – YouTube

OVERFLOWING

Ever had a hard day as an adult? Children have hard days at school, too. Sometimes they get tired of managing being told what to do, constantly learning new things, the pressure of tests, managing peers, the constant bombardment of atmospheres, and missing you! Children need to be filled with love and connection when they come home from school. This is why knowing their love language is so important. Be intentional and fill their tank. It doesn’t take long. Remember, children’s hearts leak quickly but fill fast. Simply showing interest in their day, offering an intentional hug, or spending time with them can align their hearts. I once met with a couple who talked about peers on the playground not being kind to them when they were younger. The wife said mean comments just rolled off her back while her husband became quite wounded from them. What was the difference between the two? Her love tank was filled often, and she was told who she was, while her husband felt isolated and empty most of the time growing up – filling the tanks DAILY matters!

ANCHOR THEM

Want to give your children a gift today? Read through Psalms 139: 1-18 with them at the breakfast table. This is a powerful revelation of the goodness of God and rebukes the lie that we are alone. Anchor them today in His Word.