THE BRIDE

THE BRIDE

  • Heart Splinters, Hurt In The Church

THE BRIDE

I had a vision that took my breath away. I saw a BRIDE who was so stunning. At first, I thought it was a mannequin, but I realized she was a living being that was frozen in place. Her dress was the most eloquent thing I ever saw. No lace or accessories, just a solid satin dress. The purity in her simplicity was captivating. The color was so white it was iridescent. As I looked closer, I saw tiny chunks of her dress were missing. It looked like Swiss cheese. How odd. I knew it wasn’t a style of fashion, but that something was really wrong. I heard the Lord say, “Those missing parts are my children who were pushed out, removed, or banned from my Body.” 

We spend so much effort climbing mountains to be influencers, yet if we would only spend half as much time going after the ones who are already believers but have been sent away, we would see a resurrection of His Body on earth like never before. While salvation should always be on our hearts, we also need to burn for those who never got a chance to live in the Body on the other side of salvation. 

Pray and ask God to show you if there is anyone in your circle who represents the missing pieces of the Bride. Pray them back into the Body.

LOOK BEYOND BEHAVIOR

I have strived hard through the Let the Children Fly message to get parents to see beyond the behavior. Yes, train children to manage themselves better, but if we only focus on managing behavior, we will enter legalism and move away from the Father’s heart. We must be willing to endure discomfort with their behavior to explore with Holy Spirit WHY. If we can partner with Him, we will discover what is going on inside their hearts, and we can parent them in that place. This is where real transformation and growth occur. When we experience someone acting immature, wounded, and reckless, we have two choices: #1 Increase our power by using intimidation and fear to control them so that we feel comfortable or #2 come alongside their pain and usher them to Jesus. If all we are doing is managing triggers and outward behavior, we are actually separating ourselves from their heart. If we want to draw closer, we must become students of what is going on in their world.

GET THOSE EMOTIONS OUT!

My heart is heavy for the parents facing hard things with their children. I want to encourage you with the following: #1. ANGER – Be mad, let it out, and process those emotions. Scream in a pillow, journal, beat the sandbag, go for a hike, vent to a friend – whatever you have to do to GET THOSE EMOTIONS OUT! You cannot afford to carry the weight of those emotions with you. Get them out so you can let them go. #2. GRIEF – Many of you are grieving. Grieving for your family, your child’s heart, the plans for the year, and your ability to juggle it all. This is real and must be acknowledged. Grab your journal and begin, “God, I am so sad that…” #3. HOPE – It is hard to be anchored in hope if you carry around a lump in your throat, are ready to explode, or feel like a victim. Processing your emotions and heart will help you move into HOPE. Hope is anchored in THE truth, not the facts our circumstances scream at us. Declare the TRUTH! God has not left you. You have what it takes to not only survive but thrive. You will know what to do (because He lives inside of you). 

God has keys and strategies for your situation. He works all things out for good, He sees your world, and He cares. He has a solution – ask Him! It is going to be okay. Your child is going to be okay. YOU are going to be okay! 

CLEARING THE AIR

I feel a strong stirring in my spirit that we all need to do our part to ‘clear the air’ in the spiritual realm. Who do you need to forgive? Make things right with? Let go of offense? Believe the best? Ask for forgiveness? Repent of judgments? Confess slander? Call a family meeting and walk this out together.

In doing this, we begin to clear the spiritual air and allow ourselves to get the fresh air our spirit needs to be healthy.

LYING TO YOURSELF

One of my daughters was working through some stuff with her father and made the decision not to connect with him when the opportunity presented itself. It is a hard dance to know how to parent a child with heart splinters, when to push, and when to take your hands off. I asked God for help, and it came to me while worshiping in church. I embraced her and shared with her what He told me. God commands you to honor your father but wants you to know that part of honoring your father is staying true to your heart and not lying about your process. While I cannot encourage her to keep this wall between her and him, she has come a long way from being the girl with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. She has fought hard to be honest with herself about how she feels, and the fact she was setting a boundary for her heart was a good thing. It is a sign that she is no longer willing to lie to herself for someone else’s profit. God is proud of her for the hard heart work she has done over the years to be fully alive. She sat down with tears streaming down her face. In all honesty, the parts that hurt her the most about her relationship with him are the parts of him that are so shut down and unable to engage. She realized at that moment that God healed her of the very thing in him. Part of honoring our mother and father is becoming the fullest expression of who God made us to be! 

TALK TO THEM

Many believe we should shield our children and not talk to them about the big stuff. I disagree wholeheartedly! Children have some understanding, especially if it is something like a divorce or death, as they experience it, too. Not talking to them about it is not protecting them; it leaves them wide open for the enemy to whisper falsehoods to them. Do I need to tell my children all the details? No way. But it is so important that we communicate with our children. One of the reasons why kids are easy targets for lies is that their brains aren’t fully developed yet, and they do not have the same thinking capability as an adult. They aren’t mini-you’s; they are underdeveloped and therefore need a parent to guard, guide, and protect them. There is a reason that nearly all types of adult therapies, both secular and religious, take you back to your childhood. That is where lies are first embedded. Do not share all the details, but please DO talk to your children about their reality.

BLACK SHEEP OF THE CHURCH

I feel a bit like a broken record, but when I wake up, God often tells me what to post and lays a theme or words on my heart to share. He has brought this up over and over and over. So, I share once again out of obedience to Him. I once talked about the black sheep of the family and how it is normally the child who resists the family’s operating system that God is using to bring generational things back into alignment with Him. I think the same goes for the church. God sends people – perhaps unrefined and immature – who carry something that the church needs to come into alignment with to reflect Him better. Leaders can embrace the mess and let God move in a new way, OR they can walk in power and control and reject the person in an effort to ‘protect’ the flock, missing the purpose altogether.

If you have been rejected as the BLACK SHEEP OF THE CHURCH, I encourage you to please watch this!!! Process your heart well and allow the wounds to heal BECAUSE YOU ARE NEEDED FOR THIS HOUR! You carry what the Body needs. While others may have misunderstood you, God has not. You might not be responsible for the actions of others, but you are responsible for how you respond. Do not let orphans in leadership roles rob you (or us) of what God wants to do through you. If you do not have time to watch this entire video, listen to it while driving or making dinner. I have also broken up the segments listed on our YouTube channel.

Hurt in the Church #1 – YouTube

CELEBRATING YOU

I know this post is going to speak to a lot of you! Do you look at other people’s posts about their birthdays and long to feel that way on your special day? Yet when your day comes around, you still feel empty and sad at the end of the day? I felt that way for years and finally gave up on hope. I noticed I began to ignore it and intentionally not make a big deal out of it anymore. I hid my date on social media and pretended like it was no big deal. It wasn’t that it wasn’t important to me. It was that I didn’t want to set myself up for feeling disappointed again. BUT GOD… He took me on this incredible journey, and I experienced breakthrough on such a foundational level. Soon my birthday was approaching, and I found myself responding differently. I was giddy with excitement, had childlike joy over celebrating the day I was created and wanted to pull close those I love the most to celebrate with me. I want to walk you through what God showed me and ultimately brought one of my biggest breakthroughs in being seen, heard, and valued. Join me as we take a 10-day online adventure!  YOU are so worth celebrating!!! 

Moms & Dads – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT

There is a real war in the spirit realm to bring about chaos, isolation, hurt, lawlessness, and offense. How do we counter this? By going after the FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.

THAT’S A LIE

When I hear a child speak a lie about themselves (I am not smart enough, I am slow, I can never figure this out, etc.), I simply tell them that they are partnering with something from God’s enemy. Do they want to continue to partner with that (they do have free will), or do they want to throw that one out? Then, I told them they could kick out or throw out whatever thoughts came to their mind that wasn’t of God. Hudson, who was only four then, literally went to the front door and motioned like he was kicking something out before slamming the door. Yeah, like that! Kids need to be taught that not every thought that crosses their mind is theirs, and they can be empowered to say NO!