SUMMER

SUMMER

  • Connection, Kingdom Parenting

SUMMER

Words are important. God said let there be light and there was light.

Stop for a moment and dream about your ideal summer. What does it look like with connection and activities? How do you want to feel at the end of every day?

This is not a “name it -claim it” teaching, but a model of following our Father and speaking into existence that which is already available into the spirit realm.

Have a family meeting and together make declarations about what you want your summer to be about. Such as, “We will release joy everywhere we go.” “Our summer will be filled with joy.” “We will connect deeply as a family.” “We will love ourselves and others well.” “We will laugh daily.” “We will take responsibility for what is ours.” “We will grow as a family this summer.”

What we are declaring over our families becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When our children hear us communicating that we are dreading the summer or we are so glad school is starting again, it communicates to them the wrong worth and value. Ask Holy Spirit to highlight any false declarations that you have been declaring over yourself, your parenting or your children for the summer months. Ask for forgiveness, if needed.

Flipping Mindsets – Summer is when you get to regroup and get a new vision for your family. You get to shake off all of the events of last year, re-calibrate as a family, go after character growth, learn new skills for life, grow deeper in your connections, and build memories.

Family Rules – 3 big things were lost in the Garden; our sense of BELONGING, our WORTH and our SECURITY. Whatever our household rules, boundaries, limits, or ‘no’s are with children, it must be done in a loving way that still intentionally communicates that they have a place where they belong, that they are incredibly valuable and important and that they are secure and safe. Things like disunity, arguments between parents, ongoing sibling conflict, atmosphere of worry and stress, anger, belittling, disrespect, and lack of intentional family time can all inflict the orphan spirit. I am not talking about a one-time deal like you had a bad day and yelled once. I am talking about lifestyles and norms. Our goal in parenting should be to model heaven.

Rules – Review your household core values and rules as a family. If your children cannot tell you what the rules are, then it will be hard to expect them to govern themselves by them. Play a round of charades acting out what honor, respect, kindness, etc. looks like.

Vision – What is the vision you have for your family? If you do not know what you are aiming for then you will parent inconsistently, which will produce inconsistent and frustrating results for the whole family.

TEACHING FORGIVENESS

I bought the little Etch A Sketch, kept it in my junk drawer, and used it as my object lesson for forgiveness when my children goofed up. I remember one time in particular when I was traveling, my son forged his field trip permission slip with my signature since he’d forgotten to ask me to sign it before I left. The teacher caught him. He confessed what he did, and I asked him to get the Etch A Sketch. I explained what forgery was, and we talked about why it was a wrong choice. Then, I turned it over, shook it, and said, “I forgive you for forging the field trip form.” We hugged, and I asked him how he would handle it next time. It was a great teachable moment!

JOURNEY NOT DESTINATION

The goal is not to be airlifted and dropped in the middle of the ocean just to say you have arrived in the depths. The goal is to do the journey with Him every step of the way. He is much more interested in your JOURNEY with Him than He is with your destination. So, what do you have going on today? Do it WITH Him.

CALLING ALL DADS!

By God’s design, dads are the ones who speak protection, provision, and identity over children. I want to stir up the anointing that each father has to speak protection and covering over their child. I implore you to rise up as the superhero that you are in your child’s life and cover them with the cape of your words. 

Here are some creative ways to communicate covering to your child: 

  • Put a big blanket around your back and outstretch your arms like wings. 
  • Come to them and pull them close under your wing and tell them that just like the blanket offers shelter, you are there to cover and protect them. 
  • Read with them Matthew 18:10 and show them that they have a personal angel assigned to them. 
  • Put your hand over their heart and pray over them. Tell them that you are so glad God allowed you to be their dad and that you take your job to keep them safe seriously. 
  • Validate that a lot is going on in the world right now but that they are safe and secure in your house. 
  • Ask them if they are worried or concerned about anything and process it together. Just asking alone makes them feel safe and secure. 
  • Gather the family and read out loud Psalms 91. Act out parts of the verse to help them understand deeper. 
  • Intentionally speak their love language today. If you do not know what it is, take the online quiz as a family to discover each person’s language of love.

Break agreement with the lie that your wife is better at this stuff than you are. God has given you a powerful role to speak protection over your family, and they need to be reminded of that in this hour when so much is swirling around in the atmosphere. Go be their superhero!

P.S. This is for dads of children of all ages. Adult children need to hear words of protection and covering over their fathers too. Pick up the phone and leave them a voicemail or shoot them a message.

DOING IT WITH HIM

We do not parent FOR Him, but rather WITH Him! This tiny mental shift releases a floodgate of peace, increases trust, and the ability to relax that He has truly got this and knows what He is doing.

ME TIME

Children, like you, need downtime to recharge and regroup. Schedule daily time for each person to have time alone by themselves. Establish the rules ahead of time for what is and isn’t acceptable and the consequences for not honoring the time (perhaps double time the following day). I strongly encourage you to explain this during a family meeting, so everyone knows what to expect. Start with just 15 minutes and keep adding minutes each day until you have reached an hour. I suggest starting out with everyone on their beds. It helps establish a clear boundary. Once they have honored the time and can manage themselves, perhaps, you will allow them to play in their room. Make sure they all go to the bathroom ahead of time and have a water bottle, so there is no need to come out. They can use this time to take a nap, read a book, or play with Barbies or Legos quietly on their beds. Have them gather a bin or basket of items they can choose from. The key is not to make this feel like they are in a time-out or being disciplined. It is a time of relaxation and refreshment for everyone.

Trust me, some kids will be so grateful to have siblings to play with when the hour is over!

**If your child simply cannot comply with this activity, and there are no other obvious reasons, it could be that they sincerely need help growing in self-control. This is something that is taught and a life skill that transfers to all other areas. The worst thing you can do is give up and conclude, “My child just can’t spend 15 minutes alone in their room.” It is okay if you need to go after this and really work with them.

ASK THEM

Ask your children this question and privately share their replies with him. “Hey, kids, what is the one thing you want most from your dad?” Then have him ask the kids about you.

EMMANUEL

Simply put, if you are not partnering with God in your parenting, you are going to know an increase of frustration, stress, and anxiety. You were never meant to figure it out on your own. Your child comes with a manual – EMMANUEL (God with us)! The heartbeat of Let the Children Fly is to teach you how to partner with Him in your parenting. 

I COMMAND

I had the privilege of ministering to a group of moms in an 18-month rehab program for drugs and alcohol. I wasn’t sure exactly how it would go when I said yes, but I have to say these mamas have stolen my heart, and I have fallen in love with them. They are so hungry for change and transformation. One precious mom sobbed the week before telling me of her daughter’s outbursts and anger. She would get so triggered by her daughter she would have to leave the room. I gave her tools and taught her how to partner with Holy Spirit in her parenting. The next week, she was so excited to tell me that her daughter had another meltdown, and while she was leaving the room, she could see her daughter NEEDING her (before all she could see was the anger), so she went back to her and just held her. She said out loud, “Spirit of rejection, I command you to leave my daughter,” and her daughter went limp and said, “Mommy, what did you just do to me?” OH my goodness! She walked in her God-given authority over the spirit tormenting her daughter and got free. Jesus!

TAKE THIS SHORT QUIZ

My children get along with each other most of the time. Yes/No

Honor and respect are evident in our home. Yes/No

I can hear what God is saying to me. Yes/No

I can discern what is going on with my child when they behave poorly. Yes/No

I am excited about the future and all that it holds for us. Yes/No

I live a life that is full of joy and peace. Yes/No

My family brings me an abundance of joy. Yes/No 

I enjoy being a parent. Yes/No

If you answered NO to any of the above, then it is time to join our online adventure of going deeper in your parenting journey.

Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly