SHIFTING MINDSETS

SHIFTING MINDSETS

You are not the potter; He is. We must shift from the parenting mindset of ‘shaping’ and ‘molding’ our children into something and learn how to partner, call forth, and pull out what God has ALREADY created them to be. Isaiah 64:8.

MY CEILING

Someone recently asked me if I ever think my kids will surpass me in the things of the Spirit. I laughed and said, “They did that a long time ago – and I am okay with that!” You see, I am on a journey of UNlearning things, tearing down strongholds, and experiencing the Father where there is no earthly experience. My children have a very different story. While they surely know heartbreak and pain, they have always had a family, been in connection, been seen and heard, and have been introduced to the real living Jesus in a tangible way since they were very young. Their foundation is different. When they were little, I once watched my child have an angry outburst with their sibling, and I told them that they learned that from me. I modeled that for them, but I could not allow them to walk in the same footsteps. Anger was a stronghold for me as a reaction to staying safe in unhealthy environments, and God was dismantling it. But for them, they were CHOOSING it. There is a difference. You are not being a hypocrite for calling your child to a higher standard in an area you may struggle in. If this is something you are aware of in your parenting, keep going low and keep cleaning up your mess, letting them know that your responses are not in alignment with the Father’s heart.

GET UP AND FIGHT!

Back in my 20’s, I was hospitalized for three months, and upon waking from my coma, I discovered I had kidney, liver, and respiratory failure. I was pretty sick and very weak. My vital organs were all compromised, and I almost died because of it. One of the hardest parts of that journey was physical therapy, where I had to mentally train my body to work again. All I wanted to do was lay down and quit. It was too hard. I did not have the muscle strength to do what my circumstances demanded of me. My muscles felt like a wet noodle. I wanted to stop. I wanted to quit. I wanted to be left alone, but my PT cared about my health journey and knew it was best to push me, call me further, and expect more of myself SO THAT I could be strong and healthy again. I am so glad they could see further down the road than my eyes could at that moment. I needed to trust their wisdom in order to pull myself out of that pit. 

Here’s the deal – many of you have been in a spiritual coma. Things have happened and caused your muscles to feel fatigued. You are like a wet noodle in the spiritual realm and have simply laid down and quit. You have allowed the toxins of life to affect your spiritual health. I get it more than you know. But we cannot remain in bed, hoping and praying that God will supernaturally step in and heal us where He has invited us to take our place. We must do our part. You have to get out of bed and begin using those muscles again, as hard as it is and as weak as you may feel. You have come too far to quit now. Your children will reap the fruit of your choices one way or another.

IF PARENTS COULD…

If parents could learn the rhythm of their child’s heartbeat, their world would be changed.

TENSION GONE

This is a GLORIOUS testimony of a mom who had lots of tension with her stepdaughter. She tried everything, and nothing worked until she partnered with Holy Spirit!

“My ten-year-old stepdaughter lives with us, except for every other weekend when she would visit her mom. When she would return, she would have an attitude and contempt for us. She also shared that she felt ‘awkward’ hugging our family. I felt like these were all symptoms that caused her heart to hurt. Lisa did a private Q&A with a few of us that brought a lot of feelings to light, especially grief and belonging. She brought up journaling, and I immediately felt led to write my stepdaughter a letter and let Holy Spirit lead me in what to say. She said she loved it and immediately connected with her brothers! Two weeks later, she came home from her mom’s, and her attitude was COMPLETELY different. She ran to her brothers and hugged and kissed us all. I am BLOWN away by what has happened. It took maybe 15 minutes to write the letter; it took her 10 minutes to read it, and yet Holy Spirit has completely CHANGED our relationship.”

YOU HAVEN’T FAILED

Do you have a child who is finding their way? Read this glorious testimony from my friend and be encouraged that God wants to and IS working in your child’s life too. 

“One of my daughters made messes in her life, and the Lord said she needed her own room. Five other siblings were extremely unhappy with this decision which was to be handled by privately sharing with me their feelings followed by prayer for their sister. I watched my daughter do everything you don’t want your teen child to do. I felt helpless and didn’t see God move. Then one day, when I cried and gave up, He said, ‘Why do you think you failed? Why do you think this has to do with you? Have you forgotten her calling? How will she learn to walk in her calling unless she develops the tools she needs by being in a home with the unconditional love of her mom, dad, and siblings, who will tolerate this season of her life?’ My prayer focus changed, and the way I would see her changed. Within a couple of months, my daughter broke ties with all she was doing after having a major encounter with Jesus. She needed that room so He could visit her and her walls could come down.”

THERE IS A BETTER WAY

Does this statement describe your parenting? “I carry so much guilt that I am messing my kids up due to my wounds and try to control everything.” If you are hungry to get off the merry-go-round of guilt and shame, join our online parenting journey, where I will give you tools, solutions, and activities to align your family with His. You don’t have to spend the next 18 years parenting like this. There is a better way that includes connection, peace, and joy in your home.

Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

BABY ADULT

I see so many precious first-generation believers feel insane pressure that they should be further along. I want to break that off of you. You have permission to be faithful to your season. God is using you to turn the ship around in your family line, and that is not supposed to look like someone who is a 3rd, 4th, 5th generation Christian. You are learning about your Father, building a foundation, AND training your children simultaneously. So, give yourself a break, and do not come under the pressure that you should be anywhere other than right where God has you.

PARENTING GOAL

If we focus on being a perfect parent and handling everything just right, we will surely fail because Jesus is the only perfect human. However, our weaknesses, failures, wounds, and mistakes do not disqualify us from equipping our children with the truth that while we may have blown it, Holy Spirit is never impatient or annoyed with us. While Dad might be distracted or absent, Papa God is always eager for our attention and company. Where Mom may lack, He always provides. Where we stumble, He is able. How will children know this unless we actively teach them about the faithfulness of God? So, the next time you blow it, use it as an opportunity to teach your child how awesome and good Father God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit really are and that while we try, we are not always like Him, but praise God, He isn’t like us either!

HUMILITY INCREASES RESPECT

When God says be HUMBLE, He means for us to be humble, always, and that includes in our parenting. Often parents fear that if they are humble with their children, they will somehow lose their parental authority. That is not accurate. You will gain their respect because you are modeling for them the Kingdom and connecting with their hearts. It is okay to learn from your children and hear what may need to be improved upon. I often check in with my kids and ask them, “What is something Mom has done well?” “What is something you wish Mom would improve upon to make your heart feel loved and seen?” The answers always surprise me and motivate me to become more like Jesus in my parenting. The truth is, either way, you are going to hear it – either now or when they are older and dealing with the fruit. I would much rather listen to their hearts while they are still children and deal with it in childhood, where I can grow and make a positive difference in their lives. Don’t be afraid of feedback. Allow God to parent you in your parenting journey.