PRIORITIZE THE BIG STUFF FIRST

PRIORITIZE THE BIG STUFF FIRST

Grab a jar/bowl, sand (or small pebbles), and larger rocks. 

Call a FAMILY MEETING and talk to the children about Matthew 6:33 – “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” What does this mean exactly? 

Take the jar/bowl and explain how their capacity of time is given in each 24-hour period. Part of their time is spent sleeping, eating, doing homework, etc. Make a list of each thing that demands their time every day and then pour a little sand into the jar representing each thing. Brushing teeth… add a little sprinkle of sand into the jar. Taking out the trash… add a little sprinkle of sand into the jar, etc. 

Now take some larger rocks and explain how that represents seeking God such as reading the Word, praying, declaring His truth, etc. The larger rock no longer fits because they have filled up their jar with the smaller things.

Dump the jar out and put the larger rocks in FIRST and then add the sprinkles of sand which will make its way around the rock, that way everything fits in the jar in the proper order, and no one can say at the end of the day they ran out of room (time) because they put the important thing in first.

GET YOUR UNDERWEAR ON!

Gather the family in the family room and talk about underwear! It is rather personal, isn’t it? But many would argue that it’s absolutely essential.

Have everyone take out a piece of paper and draw some fancy pants (underwear). Color it as you please. Wad the paper up in a ball and tell everyone to hide it somewhere outside – between the rocks, in the tree, by the bush, under the trash cans.

Come back in and read together Jeremiah 13: 1-14. I like to read The Message Bible as it often explains it in a language children can grasp easier.

Go after the heart of the passage. There is one thing God is wanting from us – to LISTEN!

In a day or so, gather everyone in the family room and remind them of this activity. Go on a tour outside to find the wadded-up underwear drawing and talk about how the paper got ruined, damaged, or destroyed.

We should be so close to God, as close as our underwear is to our body, and listen to whatever He tells us to do.

WHO IS JUDGE?

My daughter got in the car, and I asked her why she broke my favorite mug. She had a shocked look on her face and was trying to process how to respond. I asked her again why she broke my mug. Finally, she said with almost tears in her eyes, “Mom, I promise I didn’t break it.” I assured her I knew because the mug wasn’t broken, but I reminded her that just moments before, she was accusing her brother of something I did, not him. Instantly she understood how awful it felt to be falsely accused of something. She apologized, and we had a good chat about not being so quick to formulate judgment until you have all the facts. 

Call a family meeting and share the above story with the kids OR go ahead and role-play the same scenario. Ask questions about how it made their heart feel or how hard it is when someone is quick to judge. Read the following Scriptures together.

Proverbs 18:13 (The Message) – “Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.” 

Proverbs 18:13 (NIV) – “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.”

Spend some time as a family asking for forgiveness for any way you have partnered with being a judge and hand over the job back to God because He alone sees all and judges justly and fairly. 

THE BITTER TASTE OF SIN

Take a tiny pinch of coffee grounds and spread them over the kitchen floor. Invite your children to join you in the kitchen and ask them to help you find the coffee grounds on the floor. “Hey guys, I dropped my coffee grounds. Can you help me find them?” It won’t be easy to find them all spread out. Then ask them to close their eyes and quickly dump a visual amount on the ground. This time ask them to pick up the coffee grounds… but one little grain at a time. Spend a few moments attempting to do this impossible task. You might want to lie down on your tummy and get serious, “One, two, three. Sarah, how many did you get? Four, five?” When they lament that it is impossible, take a broom and sweep up the coffee. Sit the kids down and talk about the kitchen floor representing the whole wide world – there are no separate regions or countries – just one big piece of land. Explain that the tiny grain of coffee represents sin in the world. What is sin? Sin is anything we do that goes against what God has planned for us. Sin is when we break God’s household rules. He isn’t mad at us when we sin, but it makes Him sad because He designed us to be loved, blessed, protected, and full of joy, and sin robs us of that. Help them see that God knows every grain of coffee, even those they couldn’t find or see with their eyes. Explain to them that there are many coffee grounds (sin) in the world right now for others to see. Every family will have a different grid regarding what your children know about the world’s affairs, but you can filter it through the coffee grounds analogy when they see, hear or feel things.

Example: You are driving and see vandalism, graffiti, or broken windows. Mom – “That is sad that someone broke that window.” Child – “Who broke it?” Mom – “I don’t know.” Child – “If you don’t know who broke it, how can the police arrest them?” Mom – “Remember the grains of coffee on the kitchen floor? Breaking things is a sin; even if he gets away with it and never gets caught by the police, God saw it, and God knows.”

Example: The kids see or hear something on the news and ask you about it. You can give them human wisdom and intellectual understanding or anchor them to the truth that God sees, knows, and is aware. A GREAT response is, “Wow, that is a great question. I have some thoughts, but let’s ask Jesus what He thinks.” I did this once about something I was so assured of the response, and He showed me something different, which created a powerful family discussion. 

The God who sees, hears, and knows all has made Himself available to us through Jesus to come and talk to Him – ASK HIM! Jeremiah 33:3 – “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” 

Bitter Cup – We want to help our children understand that we ALL sin. Each of us has a grain of coffee (sin) with our name on it. Make some strong coffee and let your children take a sip. None of us are blameless before Him. Share something you did recently that was a sin. Ask them to remember something they did. Explain that sin is like strong coffee that tastes bitter. HERE IS THE KEY: While we ALL sin, God has given us provision for how to clean it up. How? By confessing (whoops – Jesus, I blew it) and by asking for HIS forgiveness (He took the spanking for us on the Cross). When we do that, He removes the grain of coffee with our name on it. 

In the days ahead, when they violate your household rules, you can lovingly remind them of the bitter coffee and say, “Sweetheart, when you _____, it was a sin. Do you want to hold onto that bitter cup or come give it to Jesus?” 

Cream & Sugar – He does not want us to pour some cream and sugar on the coffee (sin) to make it taste better. Sin is bitter, and He wants to remove it from us. Teach your children that when they sin and cover it up, keep it a secret, blame someone else or deny it; it is like pouring a pound of sugar in the coffee cup. You can do this as a visual for the children. Instead, He wants us to offer up the coffee cup to Him and hand it over, never to drink from it again. 

Injustice of No Discipline – Organically speaking, sin does not feel good. When we fail to discipline our children, we rob them of a way out of their sins, which only teaches them to ignore the guilt. By addressing sin, even at a young age, we allow them to make it right and remove the guilt. Guilt that is piled up can lead to shame. God knows we have flesh and live in a fallen world and has not left us in condemnation. Confessing sin is an acknowledgment of wrongdoing and the opportunity to make it right with God and others. 

Sin is bitter. Forgiveness is sweet. It’s time to brew some coffee!

THE SMILE GAME

We played the greatest game when the kids were younger, called the Smile Game!

Before we got out of the van at the grocery store, Wal-Mart, or a restaurant, we all talked about the game and would remind everyone how to play it. Then, when we got out of the van, each of us had to give as many people as possible direct eye contact and smile really big, each keeping score of how many smiles we would get in return.

The game was hilarious, and joy always broke out. The kids would often be up to 50 returned smiles, reminding them that releasing the Kingdom is about JOY. It also showed them how to flip the atmosphere where most people do not acknowledge a single person in front of them.

WHO IS FIRST?

Gather the family and write down all of the things that are ‘BIG’ in their world including school, making friends, etc. After the list is complete, draw a line under it (it is okay that the list takes up most of the paper). Under the line, write out John 3:16. And then flip the paper upside down. Explain how the things that are BIG in their world can feel heavy and can sometimes make us feel like God’s truth is small or even shrinking, but the truth is (flipping the paper upside down) that God’s character, promises, and faithfulness are unchanging despite circumstances, and we can filter every single thing written on the list through the lens of His perfect love.

FILLED HEARTS

Jesus says in Mark 12:30-31, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” 

Call a family meeting and give each person, including Mom and Dad, a piece of paper. Have them draw a large heart. Then, ask them to write or draw the important things to their heart, such as their family, their dog, Grandma, ice cream. When everyone has finished, take some time to share. Take a different color and write GOD in the center of their heart. Begin to ask them if they love God more than ice cream? What about video games? How about loving God more than Mom and Dad? That’s a big one, but that is how big God wants us to love Him. Even though Mom and Dad are the most incredible people on earth, God loves them even more! Call it out in the days ahead when you see God’s faithfulness, love, and protection over them. “Sweetie, that was God. He loves you so much”. “Buddy, that was God watching out for you.” “WOW, I love how God takes care of you by _____.”

ENCOUNTERING THE FATHER

God longs for His children to experience Him, not just know Him mentally. I am convinced that one of the biggest reasons why so many children grow up and leave the church is not because they never knew or loved God, but because they failed to EXPERIENCE Him. 

ENCOUNTERING THE FATHER is a resource tool we created for parents, friends, and leaders to help usher others into an encounter with the Father. There are over 100 encounter questions, along with instructions on how to guide anyone into an encounter, host your own ‘encounter the Father’ event, or use them in a corporate setting.

We have provided you with two formats including a running list of all of the encounter questions, as well as a printable card format.

Jesus has a lot to say to a child walking through the ups and downs of life. Sometimes, despite our wisdom, they need to hear from the One who knit them together. This tool will teach you how to lead them into an encounter.

Could you imagine what would happen to your family if you were able to lead them to encounter Him in their time of need? You will discover key questions to ask your loved ones so that they can experience Him.

Encountering the Father EBook – Let the Children Fly

A PIECE OF PEACE

Teaching children to ‘check your peace’ is a great way to train them to self-govern their choices. 

Years ago, I came out of my bedroom and could not locate three of my four children. Alarmed, I raced from room to room. I began yelling their names outside, looking up and down the sidewalk for three young children. I was a breath away from panic when I heard the Lord say, “They are okay, but this is serious.” I jumped in the car and drove around looking for them. I spotted them talking to a homeless man. They bolted away from him the second they saw me. Teaching children to ‘check your peace’ is a great way to train them to govern their choices by being led of the Spirit. “He hasn’t left us as orphans but is with us and guides us” (John 14:18).

They got in the car, and I could smell fear all over them, but I didn’t say a word. We got home, and I called a family meeting. I told them that they scared my heart and reminded them of our family rule not to go where my eyes cannot see them. They asked for forgiveness. We hugged and carried on, but something didn’t sit right, and an hour later, it was still nagging me. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what my lack of peace was, and He said, “Lisa, they did not just disobey you; they disobeyed Me.” There it was.

I called them all back and asked, “When you walked outside the door, was there ever a time Holy Spirit spoke to you?” They all burst into tears, telling me how they heard they were not to go up the sidewalk or that they should warn their sisters to come back home and how He told them they should not talk towards that man, yet each time they ignored Him and carried on. I told them with tears rolling down my cheeks that I have rules to keep them safe but that they have the Holy Spirit to help lead them when they are wandering outside of what is safe.

I asked them if they felt peace in their belly as they were walking away, and they all said NO. That was Holy Spirit telling them they were getting too far.

We must empower our children that PEACE is their pillar, and when peace leaves, it is time for us to STOP and pay attention to what He is saying.

Isaiah 26:3 – “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.When our eyes get off Him, and we wander away, the first thing that leaves is our peace. 

MOM’S REPORT CARD

Every once in a while, the Lord nudges me to be a student of my children’s evaluation of me as a mom. I have authority in the home, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn from my children. I called a family meeting and reminded each of them of a recent event where they made a mess. I asked them to come up with a list together on #1. What could I have done better (in that situation), and #2. What did their heart need from me? They went to the back room and began to create a list of answers. While I already knew the areas I could improve in as a parent, what was highlighted was their deepest desire for me to HELP them in their mess. It is so easy for a parent to focus on the fruit of their choices, but I was given yet another reminder to stay focused on empowering them with tools and solutions to not only clean up the mess but also prevent them in the future. This is a profound way to let their voices be heard now, in childhood, about the things their heart needs.

PUT YOUR STAKES IN THE GROUND

Put your stakes in the ground. I kept hearing this phrase over and over. I finally sat down to explore what God was telling me about it. After doing some research on it, I discovered that authority is exercised when we put our stakes in the territory God has given us.

One example I found explained that when Native Americans learned they were going to lose their land, they would put a stake in the ground and tie a rope to someone’s foot making them defend their territory to their death. Their belief was that it was better to die defending your territory than be chased away. I camped out with God for a while on this concept of putting your stake in the ground and felt like our family needed to grab ahold of it more.

We went on a family outing and picked out our stakes from the local home improvement store and then came home and wrote down the things that we will not be moved in. The areas, principles, or convictions that we will not settle for less in. God has given us land to occupy, and we will not shrink back, be moved, or be bullied in this space. We wrote them on our stakes and drove them into the ground (if you can’t find stakes, popsicle sticks or wooden sticks from the craft store work well, too). We put them in the front yard so that each time we leave the house, we are reminded of our territory and not to shrink back from it.