PRAY FOR MY DAD

PRAY FOR MY DAD

  • Heart Splinters, Teens

PRAY FOR MY DAD

I have been camping out in these testimonies of God’s goodness with the next generation and am undone by His power and goodness to them. Two younger ladies came to me asking for prayer. They shared how their relationship with their father was strained, and wanted prayers. I thought they meant for reconciliation and began to pray accordingly, but they interrupted me to say, “No, we want prayer for Jesus to give us the keys to our father’s heart.” Another gal who has battled self-harm for years due to her father’s alcohol consumption and believing the lie she is rejected asks Jesus why he needed alcohol. She heard, “Because he feels rejected by his parents.” She wept as she realized he was battling the same lie she was plagued with and wanted Jesus to give her the keys to his heart. Another gal asked to meet with me and shared some of her dad’s choices over the years that brought the family a lot of pain. When we asked Jesus what her dad’s heart needed, she began to cry as Jesus showed her he felt like a failure and ashamed. She realized she had punished him and how it was causing him further hurt. She asked for forgiveness, and Jesus began to give her the keys to mending that relationship. We ministered to a boy who said, “All these years, I thought my dad was just mean, but Jesus showed me today that he has a heart splinter from his own journey.” This is so powerful as kids move from victim to empowered. Hurt to authority. Walls of self-protection to love. Jesus loves restoring the family and does not look down on a child due to age. They have the same size Holy Spirit as their parents and can be powerful weapons against the plans of the enemy to destroy the family.

REJECTING LIES

My daughter woke up early with me, so we went on a date to grab drive-thru coffee and ended up at the bookstore. I noticed a book about the lies young girls believe and handed it to her. She spent a great deal of time browsing the contents and finally put the book down. I asked her why, and she said, “Because I don’t believe lies.” There was such an anointing on what she said. She was not saying she has never believed a lie, nor was she saying she is 100% lie-free, but she was right to say she doesn’t believe lies. I have taught my kids what lies feel like, and they have begun to self-govern when lies are being entertained in their minds. Lies always remove your peace, make your mind spin like crazy, and create feelings of anxiety, worry, and stress in your heart. When my children are feeling this, they know how to ask, “Jesus, what lies am I believing?” and they know how to ask Him for His truth. Can you imagine what this generation would look like if they knew how to stomp on the lies that come to steal, kill and destroy?

CONTROL-BASED PARENTING

I was talking with a mom about others using the tools of control and disempowerment in parenting, and she burst into tears. She realized she was guilty of using them with one of her children and her heart ached, realizing how she had been negatively affecting her child. This is my WHOLE point in doing these posts on disempowerment. The issue rarely lies with the one being disempowered but the one doing it. Parents/leaders use these tools because something else is going on inside of them that makes them feel like they need to protect themselves. Nothing controls and pushes back someone further than disempowering them because it renders them powerless. It is a faulty coping mechanism for something greater going on. Here is the deal – God isn’t mad at the parent/leader who uses these tools because He understands WHY they do it. He sees their fear, anxiety, and insecurity that causes them to feel the need to self-protect. God doesn’t want them to stay that way, but He isn’t mad at them.

JESUS’ COURTROOM

Someone once texted me something that was dark, awful, and marinated in fear. I told her, “Do not fight that one on your own, but actively turn it over to Jesus’ courtroom to be judged.” We are not to take on every evil of the world, but boy, when we see it, we have the right, honor, and privilege of handing it over to the One who will judge and deal with it according to His Word.

When you see/hear of something that is rooted in the wrong kingdom manifesting on earth and producing bad fruit, do NOT partner with judgment, slander, or fear, as that only strengthens it. Immediately hand it over.

“I hand _____ over to Jesus’ courtroom to be dealt with, and I release (the opposite spirit) into that situation in Jesus’ name.”

Teach your children how to do this as well. It takes the burden off of us, removes us from coming under it, and aligns us with the One who can effectively deal with it on our behalf.  

DESTROYING THE WORKS OF THE DEVIL

Parents, you can’t afford NOT to do this. Watch this 7-minute video/podcast to understand how children hold onto hurts, lies, and offenses on the playground. We, as parents, want to help our children RESOLVE these heart splinters in their hearts NOW so that it doesn’t affect them going into the next school year. Help them enter summer with a clean mind and heart so that they can look forward to next year and not carry unresolved pain and shame with them. After watching this short video, I suggest calling a family meeting and talking about how we can get heart splinters in our hearts. As a family, ask, “Jesus, is there anyone at school that I need to forgive?” Don’t rush. Take your time and allow them to hear what Jesus wants to show them. Go around the family and share what you heard/saw. I then lead them into a corporate response by repeating after me, “Jesus, I choose to forgive _______ for _________.” This is NO small thing because how your child ENDS a year is how they will ENTER the following year.

Video – Destroying the Works of the Devil – YouTube

Podcast – Destroying the Works of the Devil by Lisa Max – Let the Children Fly! (anchor.fm)

BOSSY BOY

A mom came to me desperate over her son being bossy to his siblings. She was tired of co-parenting with him and, after a year, had tried everything; spankings, timeouts, yelling, discipline, and reprimands, yet nothing seemed to break through his behavior. I asked her what happened a year ago, and she began to tell me the story of the night the police came and handcuffed the dad and took him away for doing something ‘bad.’ I can only imagine the atmosphere in the home that night with confusion over losing their dad and all the mother’s emotions. Even if the mom hid her visible feelings from her children, they still felt the atmosphere. I asked her if her son was being bossy, as in a negative character trait, or if he was trying to save his siblings from doing something terrible that gets them taken away too. He felt the weight of responsibility and feared that bad behavior equals being removed from the home. Sometimes our child’s ongoing negative, annoying, frustrating behavior is rooted in something else. In this case, the child was believing a lie that it was his job to keep his siblings in line so that they don’t get removed from the family, too. I think he is a hero and a brave brother. As parents, we need to discern how to parent what is really going on with their hearts and not just the outward behavior.

LAUGHING AT LIES

“My three-year-old daughter and I have been butting heads. She has been disobedient and extremely whiny. I tried various methods to learn what was going on with my daughter. Today, I finally sat her down with paper and colored pencils (an idea I learned from you). I asked her to draw Mommy a picture of how her heart was feeling. I left her quietly to herself. I returned shortly after, and all she had on the picture were black scribble lines. I asked her to describe to me what her picture meant. She said, “It means (pause) that things just aren’t working out for me.” WHAT?! That is a lie from the pit! I immediately asked her to ask Jesus if this was the truth. After asking Him, she said, “No, it’s not true.” I encouraged her that we can laugh at lies instead of partnering with them. Together we laughed at the lie. Finally, we declared the truth, and she was immediately all smiles again.”

HUMILITY

Teaching your child to confess their sin robs the enemy of his desire to wrap them in shame. Humility is taught, not to condemn but to FREE us from the sins of our flesh. It looks like this: There is conflict, and you ask, “Sweetie, what did you do wrong?” They tell you their part (confession), and then you help them ask for forgiveness. “Jesus, I hurt my brother. Would You please forgive me?” If they honestly can’t tell you what they did wrong, then YOU haven’t done your part as a parent to teach them what right living (righteousness) looks like in that situation. Teach and empower them in times of peace what right living looks like. Forgiveness isn’t a blank credit card for our sins. It is a GIFT that needs to be acknowledged, honored, and intentionally received. When children mess up, they carry the guilt, which can easily become shameful if not dealt with. Helping them confess brings peace to their heart.

NO REMORSE

Sometimes parents come to me really concerned over their child’s lack of compassion or remorse when they make a mess with others. While empathy (the ability to understand and share the feelings of another) is something to foster in our children, often, this is not the issue at hand. When a child has partnered with a spirit of rejection, they have a filter over their eyes and see everything through the lens of “they do not like me.” It is hard to accept responsibility for your reactions when you believe others are at fault for the mess.

Wondering if this is something your child is struggling with? Ask, “Holy Spirit, will You please show me the root of my child’s lack of compassion and remorse?”