POSTER CHILD OF HIS POWER

POSTER CHILD OF HIS POWER

  • Testimonies

POSTER CHILD OF HIS POWER

I was raised in the church, so I assumed I was going to heaven, but my near-death experience proved I didn’t have a heart connection with Jesus. It was scary. My mom died while I was in a coma, making my recovery process even more difficult. I was so sick the plan was for me to go to a nursing home to wait for my new kidneys and liver. I received hundreds of greeting cards during my three-month hospital stay, but one stood out. It read, “With God on your side, you will never have to be alone.” At that moment, I realized I had missed the boat and told God I wanted Him. I warned Him, though, that my heart was shattered into a gazillion pieces, and I wasn’t sure even He could put it back together again, but I wanted Him to try. I told Him I needed a real, living, and powerful God, and either He was real, or He wasn’t. If He was, I wanted to be a poster child that He was real. A deep peace came over me for the first time in my life. A few days later, the doctors told me I no longer needed dialysis three times a day, and a few days later, they removed me from the kidney transplant list. The following week my team of doctors, who had followed my care from the first day, came to tell me that I was going home because, much to their surprise, my liver was ‘suddenly’ healed. My God is indeed real, living, and quite powerful!!

WORN OUT MOM

I was chatting with a mom the other night about her son getting out of bed 101 times. She went through the list and said, “Spanking doesn’t work,” “timeouts don’t work,” “withholding toys don’t work,” “getting mad doesn’t work,” and after the fifth example of what doesn’t work, I realized that SHE is the one who wasn’t working. I asked her why she thought it wasn’t working, and she said that her son kept doing the behavior despite her dealing with him. I asked how long she went after it, and she responded that she didn’t want to be the mean parent as she grew up with a lot of fear and intimidation. BAM! That was the key right there. She hasn’t yet fully reconciled her own experience, which was influencing her ability to parent her strong-willed son. She realized she didn’t want to use fear and intimidation, which is good, but she needed to keep going in her process. Does being firm mean intimidation? Is exercising parental authority going to induce fear over the child? If we don’t reconcile our parent’s parenting, we will swing so far to the other side, making both generations out of balance. We need to come into alignment with how God runs His family. No to fear and intimidation, yes to parental authority, and being firm.

THE FAITH OF A CHILD CHANGES THE WORLD AROUND THEM

I had four days to find a home, and on our last day, I had resolved in my heart that it was not going to happen on this trip. I often say that I am not shopping for a home, but peace shopping and nothing was bringing me peace. I arrived at a meeting a few minutes earlier and began to scroll through the pages of available houses while sitting in the parking lot. A brand-new home popped up, and I sent them a message, fully confident I would encounter the typical robot responses. Instead, the owner replied, saying we could come the following day, but I was flying out that morning. He said I could come right now, but I couldn’t get out of this important ministry meeting. I suggested after, but he was busy then. We settled on a time, and I went into my meeting. When we got into the car, I looked up the address, and it was another 30 minutes south of our hotel. I was tired and frankly done with looking at homes. I just wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. I mentioned to Ellie that I was going to cancel the showing, and she said, “No way. You can’t do that. God told me that we would get a house by the end of today, and this is our last showing before we go back home. Mom, you have to go.” In all honesty, I went simply to appease her faith.

I drove down, and the first thing I noticed was that the homes in this community did not look like Southern homes but Colorado homes, which was on my wish list. I love Colorado home builders as they just have a different style about them. We enjoyed our tour and visited with the owner, who was wonderful (another thing on my wish list). He let me know that another application was already from the people coming to see it the following day. I resolved to submit to the process even though we were flying out in the am. I got in the car and heard God say, “Do you want it?” I pondered for a moment and said, “Yeah, I think I do,” and heard Him reply, “Then fight for it.” I don’t have a competitive bone in my body and would never fight for a house if someone else had an application in, but at the Lord’s leading, I left the owner a message telling him our journey and asked if he would give me favor by allowing us to have the house. By that evening, we were under contract!

I would not have even gone to the appointment had it not been for what the Lord spoke to Ellie in the morning and her resilience to let Him move. Teach your child how to hear the voice of their Father. Encourage your child how to stand on His word. Train yourself on how to follow His leading through your children.

GOD USES ANYTHING

I went on a date with my son, and he broke down and told me how unkind Lauren had been to him all over the dog. We got home, and I asked her about it, and she didn’t express much care about it. The following morning, we talked about it again as a family, but her response was cool and casual as if to communicate she had no intention of changing (insert trigger moment for Mom when siblings are unkind to each other). She came to me a couple of times throughout the day and said she would ‘try harder,’ but this wasn’t about behavior management, as this issue has been there on some level since the day we got Boo. I told her she needed to fight harder for her freedom and that I was there to help, but she had to own it. By that evening, she asked if we could talk. She said she was upset with Hudson. About what? That he would do something that would harm the dog. I asked what she was afraid would happen if Boo was hurt. She said, “That he would be put down.” I assured her that would not be pleasant, but the reality is she will outlive the dog, and at some point, she will have to say goodbye. She agreed. I asked if she was feeling more compassion for Boo being in pain, that she had to let go of him or that she would have to deal with the aftermath of missing him every day, and with that, a burst of emotions came flooding over her. She was not afraid of losing him; she was afraid of longing for him. Instantly my mind recalled how she processed when she lost her dad. She was angry for a while and then just came to accept it. What I failed to realize at the time was that she was stewarding an unmet longing for him. She, like many people, despised the feeling of longing for something that you can’t have, and there was a part of her heart that jumped in to protect her from feeling that ever again. She wasn’t controlling Hudson. She was trying to protect herself from having to feel the longing for something you want and desire but can’t have. As her mom, I get a lump in my throat even writing that. She has gotten into a lot of conflict over the years for her ‘controlling’ behavior over her siblings with the dog, yet all along, she was scared of losing him like she did her dad. She was able to repent for her attempt to control and manage Hudson’s actions. She asked Jesus to forgive her for trying to do His job of protecting her heart and Boo’s life. She had a greater revelation that it is God and God alone who holds Boo’s life in His hands, and He already has Boo’s life figured out from beginning to end. I asked her if she could have faith that God also cares about Hudson and that He didn’t want Hudson to do something to Boo that would cause him to be put down and the profound way that would affect his relationship with Lauren. That God is protective over leading Hudson too. She began to cry and said she had never thought of that and suddenly felt compassion for him. Hudson isn’t the enemy here – her fear is.

Thank You, Jesus, that You parent our hearts and see what is really going inside of us. She didn’t need a consequence for her unkind behavior. She needed an encounter with a Father who has never left or forsaken her, who sees and hears her heart and cares deeply about what she holds dear. Okay, I might be crying myself after sharing that testimony of you.

DO YOU KNOW THE GOOD NEWS?

Share this with your children and let them know it is okay to be brave and bold.

“My son Preston was at school today, and a girl his age (10) asked him if she could share with him the Gospel (good news of Jesus Christ). He responded, ‘I already know the Gospel, but yes, tell me…’ She told him how Jesus died on the cross for his sins… How cool is that?”

THE FRUIT OF OBEYING

I felt a check in my spirit to check my son’s bag. I did and found that he ‘borrowed’ his sister’s Fitbit (the one she waited for a year to get). She was already gone for the weekend, and after he and I worked through it, he put it back immediately. The following day I sensed God telling me to have him confess it to his sister. We all knew she would be pretty upset and feel violated, rightfully so. When he told her, she handled it like a rock star and was very humble and gracious. But then, a few hours later, he had it on his wrist again. When I asked him, he said, “Oh, she realized I valued it more than she did and gave it to me.” WOW. I gently pointed out that that would not have happened had he not owned his mistakes. God’s ways just work and have a crazy way of blessing us, even when we mess up. What a powerful lesson for him to see the fruit of humility.

UNLOVING SPIRIT

For years I noticed something in my life that would occur, yet I never had the language for it. Frustrated over its constant intrusion, I sat on the couch and told God I wouldn’t get up until it was exposed. Shortly after, my children walked in from school, and I heard Him say, “Your ministry team just walked in.” Anytime the kids are involved in ministry, I know it will be good. I called them all over and explained that there was ‘something’ going on in our family, and I wasn’t even sure what it was called or where it came from, but Jesus did, and we could ask Him. Their responses blew me away! One heard a stampede of elephants that happened over and over. Another saw a man morph into the Incredible Hulk and felt fear over this raging anger. Another heard the word ‘rejection,’ and my youngest began to cry. She said, “Mom, I don’t understand it, but I see the sweetest baby who is so cute, but no one even likes her.” Instantly my mind recalled one of the stories my grandma shared when I was interviewing her about her life journey. In 1894, my (great, great, great) grandfather came to America from Germany, leaving behind his wife and young sons. He worked for two years before having enough money to send for them to join him. At their long-awaited reunion, he sees his wife, three sons, and a brand-new baby girl (obviously, not his). He told his wife he would feed her, and that was about it. He taught the boys to reject her, and she spent the rest of her life hated and unwanted simply for being the fruit of her mother’s choices. The thing I was feeling was an unloving spirit. There has been a family disconnect between mothers and daughters in our family line ever since. The stories of blatant rejection and cruelty are heart-wrenching. I am the generation that breaks it and restores the mother/daughter connection as God intended. As a family, we sat in a circle and forgave our great, great, great grandma for having an affair. We forgave our great, great, great grandpa for partnering with a spirit of rejection and for not handling his anger well. We forgave him for using the parenting tool of fear and control and for not knowing how to work through this pain in a healthy way. And then we told the unloving spirit it was no longer welcome in our family!

FAITH IN MEN

When we first became a solo family, I asked God to show me how to restore my children’s faith and trust in males. I was concerned that they would project their hurts onto God, and that concerned me. At church one Sunday, I was mesmerized by a senior man being so affectionate with his bride of 60 years. It was like my eyes turned, and I was then drawn to the father who was tickling his giggling son. Then my eyes locked onto a man who faithfully came to church week after week to serve. I suddenly realized God was showing me examples of healthy males all around us. After church, I sat the kids down, and we began to talk about all of the men in our world and how each of them reveals a part of God’s design. We called these examples the Purple Heart Dad. Each one of them made up the whole picture of what God has designed for men. For years whenever the kids saw a male doing something that was a reflection of a good father, they would say, “That guy just _____. He has a purple heart.” God was building their view of a godly man. I want to thank ALL of you men who are loving your wife, protecting and shepherding your children, walking in your calling, leading people and walking in integrity. Others are watching more than you realize, and God is using your life in ways you cannot see.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOD CAN DO!

“It’s amazing to see how much faith our children have. The other day our son was having pain due to a mouth sore. My wife was going to put something in there before he went to sleep, but he told her not to put anything; that God would heal him. What moved us was when he said, ‘You have no idea what God can do!’ His faith was so strong that by the next morning, he didn’t have pain anymore, and his sore was healed! We were amazed at how God taught us a faith lesson through our son. We need to play more in God’s Kingdom with our children and encourage them to continue believing wholeheartedly despite what we (parents) tell them.”

SURE FOUNDATION

The other night my daughter was ANGRY and lashing out at everyone for the smallest things. Clearly, this was not her, as she is normally sweet as chocolate. The following morning, I asked her to do the dishes, which should have been a four-minute gig, and 1.5 hours later, she was still there. It was time to go, and she still hadn’t finished. I came to her and put my hand on her heart and said, “Babe, I do not know what is going on, but you were not wired to hold onto sin, and something is clearly coming out crooked. When you are ready to talk, I am here.” I didn’t know there was sin, but those were the words that came out of my mouth. She asked to talk hours later and, with tears, began to tell me that she was invited by her friends to vape at school. She declined the offer, but the realization that she had to stand alone was overwhelming to her. I wanted to assure her that it wouldn’t happen again, but the truth is she will have to stand alone and make choices against the pressure of the crowd for the rest of her life. It was a beautiful and tender conversation about what it really means to be a follower of Jesus in today’s world. We talked about the ‘high’ of popularity and the joy of obedience. The next morning at Church, worship began, and I leaned over to her and said, “Sweetheart, focus on this song with your situation in mind. Is He worthy of following, even if it means not vaping with your friends?”  I HATE that she was asked by her friends to vape, but I am SO glad it agitated her soul to the point of being exposed and that God used it to be yet another building block in her story with Him. He IS worthy of it all!

MY TESTIMONY

My childhood was brutal. It was full of torment, lies, abuse, deep hurt, and confusion. I was in a coma from a drug overdose when my mom died at another hospital of breast cancer. It took me years to unravel the pain and forgive her. It was not until my 30’s that the reoccurring nightmares ceased over the emotional torment with my mom. God did not just have to heal things in me; He had to rewrite ‘normal.’ I no longer have hatred in my heart toward her. I no longer judge her as a person or a mom. I no longer speak ill of her. I no longer blame her for my heartbreak and pain. 

Furthermore, I have not passed on the cycle to my children. Why? #1. God is good! He pulled me out, saved me, and restored the deep places in my heart back to Him. My parents were powerful influences in my life, but God is bigger. They have done many things wrong, but God is a Master of rewriting stories, redemption, and making broken places whole again. He is the ultimate perfect Parent. #2. My mom was not an evil person. If she was a member of Let the Children Fly, I think she would weep at the revelation of her own doing. She did what she did because she was a spiritual orphan trying to parent! Orphans can NOT produce a life of peace and joy. Let the Children Fly is simply the tools my mom needed but did not have to parent me well. God’s ministry through me is my love gift back to my own mother. While I may have lost my mom, I have gained thousands of parents around the globe who get to hear the message that they can partner with God in their parenting and can do things differently with their children. I am passionate about what I do because I have lived the fruit of a life without it.

Get the tools you need to parent your children well! Heart Splinters BOOK – Let the Children Fly