PASSING FEAR ON TO OUR CHILDREN

PASSING FEAR ON TO OUR CHILDREN

  • Authority, Fear

PASSING FEAR ON TO OUR CHILDREN

Ask any adult who grew up in Minnesota in the ’80s who Jacob Wetterling is, and they will tell you. He was an 11-year-old boy who was abducted while riding his bike home, and his body was not found for 27 years. It left a bone-chilling fear in parents that the same thing could happen to their child. Parents kept their children safe by not letting them go out at night or roam the neighborhood like they once did. Countless parents partnered with FEAR over what happened to Jacob, and it shaped their parenting. The children watched their responses and learned how to handle uncertainty and danger. As a mother now myself, I get it, but what happened is that it taught a generation in that region about fear and feeling unsafe. Those kids, myself included, grew up with an undying fear that something terrible could happen. It was nearly 30 years later that I broke agreement with the fear and learned that I was safe at night.

How you respond to current events NOW has the potential to shape your child and how they respond to future crises. Are you teaching and modeling for them how to walk in fear and panic or confidence and faith? They are watching you and are learning how to respond in times of crisis.  If you are partnering with fear and want to be free from it, let’s talk about it. We have got to realign our children so that they do not grow up being afraid and managing fear. There is a difference between truth-based concern that should move us into wisdom vs. creating a demonic stronghold.

GOD-GIVEN AUTHORITY

Giving up control-based parenting does not mean giving up your God-given authority. It does not mean the child is in control, nor does it mean they get to make the decisions. I am not sure which is worse – a parent who partners with the spirit of control or a parent who allows the child to be in control.

POWERFUL WORDS

What declarations are you making today? “I am afraid something bad will happen, and I won’t be able to keep my kids safe.” “This is the worst thing ever; we will never recover.” “This is terrible!” OR “God is in control.” “Jesus is alive.” “I am a child of God.” “He loves me and has my back.” “Fear is not from Him.” “I will know what to do because He lives inside of me.” “He gives me peace and rests in the storm.” “I trust His-story.” “I am loved.” “My emotions matter but do not lead me.” “I don’t know how God is going to work this out, but He always does.” 

So be intentional about writing out three declarations and put them up on your mirror, in the car, and on your phone, and recite them often today. We become what we focus on and want to be anchored to the TRUTH (not facts).

WORDS MATTER

John 10:10 shares that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, while Jesus came to overcome and bring life. Your WORDS decide which side you want to camp in.

WHICH KINGDOM ARE YOU USHERING IN?

The Kingdom of GOD is righteousness, peace, and joy. I can still remember when the eyes of my heart first understood this verse, which was mind-blowing. 

Righteousness – the quality of being morally right or justifiable. Peace – freedom from disturbance; tranquility. Joy – a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. 

Here are the OPPOSITE meanings of the words. 

Righteousness – wickedness/lawlessness. Peace – noise/irritation/conflict. Joy – misery/tribulation/despair. 

Which kingdom are you ushering in? If others partner with lawlessness, noise, conflict, misery, and wickedness, the only way to bring the Kingdom of God is to partner with and release RIGHTEOUSNESS, PEACE, AND JOY! 

Righteousness – doing what is right even when no one else is looking, walking in the fruit of the Spirit, and not repaying evil. 

Peace – being in His presence through worship, prayer, and soaking in His Word so that we release what is saturated inside of us – declaring peace to hostile situations. 

Joy – Coming out from under the orphan spirit and aligning our thoughts with the FAVOR He gives us. Having dance parties, singing in the rain, and choosing to be joyful. 

Deuteronomy 30:19 – “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” Which kingdom are you ushering in? 

BODYGUARD

I went to get my nails done and took my daughter with me. The salon was quiet, and there were three other workers sitting down at a computer. We talked as best as we could through the language barrier. About halfway into it, this gripping fear came over me, and I felt really nervous. I could not figure it out. The workers began to talk to each other and move about the salon, and it just didn’t settle right with me. I felt bad for feeling that way, but it was growing louder and louder. I began to role-play scenarios and contemplated leaving, even though my nails were only halfway done. I wanted to whisper to my daughter to stay alert but didn’t want to cause her concern. Finally, I realized there was indeed real and present danger, and I needed to move into action. I began to walk in my authority over it by commanding the fear to go in Jesus’ name and canceled any assignments of the enemy. I prayed for protection over my daughter and invited the Holy Spirit to stand on guard. I had no idea what was going on, what could have happened, or what I was sensing, except my spirit felt sexually unsafe, and I have the power and authority in the name of Jesus to do something about it. Ironically, the moment we got in the car, my daughter said, “Mom! Did you feel that? I felt so sexually unprotected in that place.” I asked why she didn’t say anything, and she said, “I just invited Jesus to come and deal with it.” We can introduce our children to their ever-present Bodyguard!

PLAYING

American friends, the Dollar Store has some great costumes of armor, swords, police uniforms, and badges that go great with teaching children about Ephesians 6:10-18, using their authority, and being victorious over lies. They also have a plastic set of chains that are great for teaching them how hurts, lies, and offenses chain our hearts and how God wants us to be FREE!

WHERE IS HE?

How many of you struggle to see, hear, or feel God in this hour? The enemy is shouting lies to you such as: “He doesn’t care,” “He doesn’t see you,” “He is too busy,” “He is overwhelmed by world affairs,” “He is mad at you,” “He is withholding from you,” “He isn’t very powerful,” “He doesn’t care,” “He isn’t worth it…” I have never felt a season before where hearing Him has been so challenging. My heart is to do whatever He says, but if I can’t hear Him, I don’t know what to do, and it has made me feel confused and lost at times. Isaiah 30:21. 

I called a mentor friend, and we began to pray hard. The more she prayed, the more this picture in my mind became clearer and clearer. I saw smoke fill the air. It was a dark smoke like you would see from burning tires. It was toxic and heavy. But as she prayed, I saw a speck of light, and it got bigger and bigger. Soon I saw a man on a horse in a serious warrior position. As it approached me, I barely came to the horse’s hoof. It was MASSIVE! I suddenly felt so safe and covered. I kept asking, “What do you want me to do? Tell me whatever it is, and I will do it. I trust you. I will follow. What shall I do?” But the warrior just stood there guarding over me. I wanted him to look at me and talk to me. I wanted verbal reassurance and direction. This is the deafness I have felt in this hour. I know you are HERE, but I can’t hear you. Suddenly I heard, “It isn’t about me telling you what I want you to do, but you telling me what you want me to do.” We are to partner with heaven, and there are angels on assignment to defeat the works of the devil in our land. Angels have the POWER, but we have the AUTHORITY! 

Psalms 103:20-21 says, “Praise the Lord, you angels, you mighty ones who carry out his plans, listening for each of his commands. Yes, praise the Lord, you armies of angels who serve him and do his will.” I began to decree and declare that no weapons formed against me, including my intimacy with the Lord, would prosper. I asked the warrior angel to remove the heavy smoke from around me so I could hear again, and instantly I saw him moving into action. The smoke dissipated, and I could see and hear in the spiritual realm again. The issue was never my spiritual ears – they work just fine. The issue was not God ignoring me – He is always talking. The issue was that I needed help from heaven to break the smoke between us in the atmosphere over the land. 

HeartWork – If this is your experience, call a friend and pray together. Declare and decree no weapon formed against you will prosper. Invite the warrior angels of God to fight the battle. Watch and listen to whatever He wants to show you. 

P.S. Your spiritual ears work just fine, and He still radically and passionately loves you!

OVER/UNDER PARENTING

We can parent our children by standing OVER them and using our authority in a way that dominates and uses fear (of your disapproval, punishment or lack) as a motivator to control. We do this through scolding, yelling, harsh punishments, disconnection, ill words, anger, and withholding. OR we can use our authority to get UNDER our children and see their weakness as an area we get to empower them and help them grow and learn. We do this through teaching in the time of peace, connection, kindness, encouraging words, tangible skills and solutions, believing in them, cheering them on and expecting more of them.

SPEAK LIFE

When I was 24, I had a drug overdose and wasn’t found for three days. The first officer on the scene declared me DOA (dead on arrival) and literally went to get the body bag. The second person on the scene declared he found a faint pulse. I love that part of my story because it is so richly prophetic. Light always trumps darkness, and it only takes ONE person to declare life to that which appears to be dead. No matter what you are going through in your marriage, with your kids, your finances, health, or circumstances, DECLARE LIFE and watch God resurrect that which looks, feels, and appears dead! As I walked out my three-month hospital stay, which included being in a coma, kidney failure, liver failure, and respiratory failure, my brother got so tired of the ongoing grim reports spoken over me from the medical staff that he put up signs all around my room that said, “No negative words spoken here.” I am here today because LIFE was spoken and declared over me.

YOUR VOICE MATTERS

As believers, we have a mandate (an official order or commission to do something) on our lives to carry things to the throne. Pick an area that you want to lift up today and release your prayer. While personal prayers are so dear to the Lord, I encourage you to widen your eyes, and together, let’s cover issues and topics that affect our culture and generation (ex., abortion, drugs, leaders, homelessness, salvation, etc.). Your voice matters!