PARTNERS

PARTNERS

  • Sexual Safety

PARTNERS

Over the years, I have gone after making sure the kids know the following safety boundaries:

We move in partners – period. To this day, we have a rule that whenever they want to check out another aisle at the store, go to the bathroom or hang out at the mall, they have to have a partner. It is non-negotiable and one of the ways to safeguard vulnerability. It has been a bit of a challenge over the years with my son, especially with public bathrooms. I generally find the family bathroom and wait for him outside. If he has to use the bathroom alone, I would stand at the door and say something like, “I will wait for you here,” but loud enough for others to hear. I do not believe this is helicopter parenting; I believe it is standing on guard in an area where people have preyed on vulnerable children. 

COME ON IN

God seems to be highlighting a particular area, and I want to camp out and create some conversation on the topic of parents’ concern over keeping their children sexually safe. I have ministered to a handful of parents as God is setting them free from fear and moving them to rise up in their God-given authority. We welcome what we FEAR. It is like opening the front door and saying, “Oh, I see you. Come on in.” While that is not our heart, it is the nature of what fear does in the spiritual realm. Fear is not a tool of heaven and will not produce the Kingdom fruit you desire. YES! There are real dangers in today’s world, and there is a full-on demonic assault against our children’s identity and sexual purity. BUT God has answers and solutions to help us equip and protect them. You are on the front lines, and now is not the time to shrink back, surrender or admit defeat. It is time to rise up, get your armor on, and declare that your house will be passed over with the schemes of the enemy.

NOT MY THOUGHTS

I melted into my bed and was asleep within moments. About 20 moments later, I woke up with a gross X-rated picture racing through my mind. I quickly took the thought captive as I knew it wasn’t me (all I wanted was sleep!). It came back again and again. But a sense of genuine danger came with it. In my mind, I could tell this woman was overpowering a man with demonic seduction. The same image repeatedly played in my mind, no matter how hard I tried to take it captive. Finally, I realized God was allowing me to see something so that I could pray. My spirit was gripped with the realization someone was in trouble and needed help, but I couldn’t figure out who. Who is it, Lord? Who is in danger right now? He never did allow me to see or know, but my spirit felt so protective of this person. I sat up in bed and went into warfare prayers against the spirit behind the woman and to release the man from this trap of the enemy. I have revisited this event countless times, so in awe over the way God alerts our spirits to become a part of His movement on earth. It is an honor to be woken and given an assignment from God to stand with someone in need. We don’t need a platform, stage, or microphone to change the world. We need to be willing to obey at all costs when He gives us an assignment. Being faithful in the ‘little’ assignments is what proves us faithful for bigger ones. Look for the God assignments being released to you TODAY!

FEAR KNOCKS

If the door to fear over your child’s sexual safety is knocking, rise up and declare, “Not in my house! You are not welcome here,” and then invite the Holy Spirit to come as their Protector and Defender.

SEXUAL ABUSE

This is a powerful video if sexual abuse has been in your past or if it is something you are dealing with currently. Even if it is not directly an issue, it is a great listen for additional tools.

We can help children deal with sexual offenses. In this video I give parents tools for helping their child walk this out with healing and wholeness. There is hope for children and parents who have endured sexual offenses.

Sexual Abuse – YouTube

CHILDREN & PORN

90% of 8-16-year-olds have viewed porn. 80% of 15-17-year-olds have been exposed to hardcore pornography (bestiality, group sex, same-sex intercourse, child porn, sexual bondage). The largest consumer of internet pornography are 12-17-year-olds. In addition, 47% of children receive pornographic spam every day. For 91% of youth, first-time exposure was not sought out. Instead, it was accessed during activities such as researching a school project or surfing the web. Porn sites intentionally create website names that are one character off of sites children visit. Many young girls say they are viewing porn to know how to satisfy a guy. The average age of exposure to internet porn is nine years old.

LET HIM WALK WITH YOU

I just spent some time walking with a father who is dealing with the trauma (and horror) of his pre-teen daughter being groomed and seduced by an online predator. Seeing him take every step with Jesus in the process has been breathtaking. Jesus is not afraid to do the messy and hard things with you. He wants to carry the burden, the grief, and the fear and has so much to say and give you in exchange.

A FOUR-YEAR-OLD TAKES ON THE SEX INDUSTRY

We were at a store years ago, and I instructed the kids to stay by the cart while I ran down the aisle to get something. When I came back, Ellie, who was four then, said to me, “Mom, this is really bad.” I asked what she was talking about, and she pointed to the display of calendars. I saw things like Hello Kitty, cute puppies, etc. She kept saying that it was really, really bad. Finally, she pointed to the Sports Illustrated swimsuit calendar. What was so incredible was she had NO reference for sexual inappropriateness. We seldom have the TV on, and the movies they watch are highly screened. I hadn’t explained to them about inappropriate dress because it was never an issue then, and they are always with me, but her SPIRIT felt the atmosphere. Using it as a teachable moment, I pulled the kids aside and asked what we should do about it. One said we should hide all of the calendars so no one could buy them. I explained how that would be very dishonoring to the manager, who had a legal right to sell them. Another child suggested we buy all of them and throw them away, so I explained how that would only encourage the store to buy more. I reminded them that they had authority over the atmosphere (in this case, a sexual one) and could exercise it. Without skipping a beat, Ellie said, “Jesus, send Your angels to hide these inappropriate calendars.”’ Just then, a man passed us, and as soon as he got side by side with the calendars, his head flipped in the other direction. Then another man walked by, and the same thing happened. The THIRD guy walked by (by now, we were all watching), and the moment he got to the display of calendars, his head immediately turned in the opposite direction. While we all left with a bit of awe over how God did that, what was most important is that we exercised our authority on earth as it is in heaven. In heaven, women are not used for casual sexual gratification, so we had every bit of authority, and all of heaven backing us, to bind that up! When a four-year-old uses her authority in Jesus’ name, it is as good as if Jesus said it Himself. That’s pretty powerful! Could you imagine a generation of little ones who knew who they were and saw it for what it was – ‘bad’ and had the tools of heaven to do something about it?

SEXUAL SAFETY

I once told the kids I took a picture of their poop and posted it on Facebook. They were mortified. I asked them why and they said, “Because that is PRIVATE, Mom.” I put them out of their misery and told them I agreed and would never do that to them. I then explained that their God-given body parts are private too – just like boogers and poop – there is nothing shameful in going to the bathroom, but we keep it to ourselves. Children must be proactively taught by their PARENTS that #1. No one can LOOK at their private parts. #2. No one can TOUCH their private parts. #3. No one can take a PHOTO of their private parts.

THE BEDROOM IS GETTING HOTTER

Yeah, I just said that. I love it when God ministers in themes. The theme of this post is the bedroom. Walk with me through these three powerful stories of God setting women free in the marriage bed. I am sharing with their blessing. 

Mom #1 – There has always been a presence of fear and unwanted violent sexual thoughts. She would have to manage these thoughts with great effort while being intimate with her husband. God showed us that doors were open in the spiritual realm through shame and hidden sin in her family line. We addressed it spiritually by closing the door and walking in our authority. All this time, she thought something was wrong with her for having those unwanted thoughts when it was a spirit. Shortly after, she sent me a message saying she was experiencing intimacy with her husband like never before. Yeah, God! 

Mom #2 – She mentioned that she was raised with strong legalistic views about sex. I explained that sex is good and God’s gift to be enjoyed thoroughly in the context in which He outlines. Attraction, puberty, coming alive, and falling in love are all GOOD and part of God’s original plan. To partner with extreme lack, shame and legalism are just as out of balance as sexual sin or perversion. While she wanted to enjoy her husband, she felt this separation from herself, almost as if she had never fully awakened in that area when she was younger. When we have an inferior belief system that is not God’s, we create behaviors that are not in alignment with God’s best. Every time we partner with that behavior, we strengthen the release of the wrong kingdom. She assumed all these years that something was wrong with her sexually, preventing her from fully engaging, but it was a spirit lying to her that stemmed from strong legalistic views. We broke the agreement with the lying voices telling her sex was dirty and shameful, and Jesus gave her permission to en-JOY her husband. 

Mom #3 – She confessed to me that her mental thought life was unhealthy. She shared how, as a little girl, these thoughts would often visit her while on the school bus and alone in her room. She has no history of violation or seeing anything with her eyes, yet the thoughts came often. While partnering with Holy Spirit, He revealed that her mom had undealt-with sexual violation and that the sexual door was left open, making her vulnerable as a child to these spirits. I kept sensing the word ‘parent’ while ministering to her, and she agreed that the thoughts met an emotional need and brought comfort (even though she never acted on them or engaged other than in her mind). Over the years, she had a hard time divorcing herself fully from the thoughts because they did bring her comfort, despite the price tag that came with it. I was so happy when she messaged me to say she experienced intimacy with her husband for the first time WITHOUT the false comfort of the thoughts. 

All three of these women encountered sexual spirits as a child yet assumed something was wrong with them because of it. While there are cases of addiction, lust, and poor sexual choices, these women were clearly dealing with it on the spiritual level, which required walking in authority to break it. 

BODYGUARD

Over the years, I have gone after making sure the kids know the following safety boundaries:

Going after empowering my children to ask Jesus questions and how to discern His reply has been KEY and not only protected them in situations but prevented things ahead of time.