PARENTING SPIRITUALLY SOLO PART TWO 3/23
PARENTING SPIRITUALLY SOLO PART TWO 3/23
WHAT EVERY MAN NEEDS TO KNOW
For Christmas one year, I gave Hudson a little book called “What Every Man Needs to Know” that listed things like how to build a fire, ask a girl out, how to fart, etc. It was supposed to be a joke, and I thought he would laugh. Instead, he read it cover to cover and earmarked all of the things listed in the book that he didn’t yet know how to do. My heart was gripped by the way he saw the need to be instructed in the areas of becoming a man. I knew I needed to respond, but I didn’t feel comfortable asking a single man to take on that role. I asked Hudson to make a list of the top 20 things he wanted to learn, and I asked God for a solution. I knew I couldn’t just step in and teach him as it was something that needed to come from a man, not his mother. My mind began to flip through the countless incredible men in our lives who I, as a mother, honor, respect, and trust. I began to reach out to each of them and told them the story of the book and Hudson’s list. I asked them if they would be willing to pick one thing on the list and teach and empower Hudson in that area. Oh, let me tell you how these men have risen to the occasion. Hudson has learned how to tie a tie, build a fire, change a tie, drive a car (yes, he took him out and let him drive his car!), cut down trees, burn a massive bonfire, drive a tractor, build things, change the oil in a car, replace wipers, roast hot dogs (without burning them), run a business, make money, throw knives, shoot a gun, sail a boat, go fishing, fix a bike tire, dress like a man (I loved this lesson), one man even gave him a talk about how to treat girls with respect. I am in awe over the rich men in our community who are willing to take time out of their busy lives and families to help a boy become a man.
When my mom passed away, one thing that meant so much to me were the ornaments she gave me over the years. I wanted my children to have the same gift so, every year, I would intentionally pick out an ornament that reflected a part of their year. Maybe they overcame fear and tried something new, or were brave to ride their bike without training wheels, or lost a beloved pet. Every year we unpack their ornaments one by one telling the story of who they are. Our tree is filled, not just with fun memories, but a prophetic statement of who they are. This is one of my favorite parts of Christmas.
HOW WOULD JESUS RESPOND?
I encourage you to watch this short four-minute video first and then call a family meeting and show the children. Stop the video at different times and ask them questions about what they see. Help them to crawl into empathy for the boy by saying something like, “Could you imagine how hard that would be?” or “How would that make your heart feel to sit in front of your friends after the teacher did that?” Just create space for conversation and then watch the video until the end. Ask them how they would want others to respond to them or how Jesus would want us to respond to others around us. The moral of the story is that we truly do not know what is going on in someone else’s world.
PARENTING & ANGER
How many of you struggle with anger in your parenting? If you do, this teaching is for you. If you don’t have time to watch, simply listen along while you go about your day. Too busy? Watch/listen in ten-minute sections. Holy Spirit wants to minister to your heart in the area of anger. His reaction to you may surprise you.
HAND HIM THE BROOM
I am pretty good at processing my heart. Messy emotions don’t make me uncomfortable, and I know how to press into them for growth and freedom. But divorce kicked my bum in this area. I felt stuck and unable to know how even to process my emotions, much less do something about them. I have always had older female mentors speaking into my life, and I leaned on them heavily this season, but I had this insane desire to find a non-Christian male counselor. I wanted to get feedback outside of my usual circle. I only went once because I got what I needed in my first meeting. I was lamenting about all of the issues between my ex-husband and how I just wanted to put a pretty bow on it and THEN divorce. I hated the unresolved conflict because I didn’t want to leave things so messy. He said to me, “Lisa, the meaning of divorce is unfinished business. If it were resolved, you wouldn’t be getting a divorce. You need to learn to be okay with not having it cleaned up.” Whoa… It freed me from the broom in my hand that so desperately wanted to clean up every area of the mess and make it neat again. My heart couldn’t partner with throwing the broom on the floor and walking away. Instead, I decided to give my broom to Jesus to deal with the mess as He chose best. It was one of the most challenging aspects of my divorce, yet one of the most freeing.
“Jesus, I hand You the broom to clean up my mess and to turn my mistakes, immaturity, and weakness into something beautiful. I hand over all the files and ask that You deal with them according to Your power and grace. I no longer hold myself captive to a mess that is too big for me to clean up.”
Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Perhaps you are not going through a painful divorce, but maybe you have an ending relationship, were let go from a job you loved, or are strained with your adult children. If there are issues that are undealt with, and it is causing you added pain, hear this: Your job is to LOVE Him. His job is to pick up the broom.
Orphan Parenting = the number one reason for hurt in the family.
Orphan Leadership = the number one reason for hurt in the church.
When those in authority do not know who they are, they are going to operate out of the wrong kingdom.
CHILDREN OUTSIDE THE BOX
I sat down with my friend Stefanie Overstreet to talk about her two-year journey of finding freedom in her parenting. If you are parenting a child who does not fit in the box due to special needs, development issues, or learning disabilities, this message will give you HOPE in your journey.
Have a watch: Parenting Children Who Don’t Fit Inside the Box – YouTube