PARENTING MANUAL

PARENTING MANUAL

  • Encouragement, Godhead Parenting

PARENTING MANUAL

Picture someone baking a pie for their evening gathering with friends. Could you imagine someone else coming to take the pie out of the oven and running to the corner to consume the whole thing on their own? They would not only develop a stomachache but have robbed themselves of the joy of consuming the pie with friends and family as it was intended. Your child comes with a parenting manual, and His name is Emmanuel – God with us. I say this in love, but some of you need to repent for taking His creation and running away with it. He did not spend nine months knitting them together and ushering them into the world only to have you run away together. He desired all along that you would parent together with Him. God wants you to parent with Him, not for Him.

I DON’T MAKE MISTAKES

I was invited to speak in L.A. and checked THREE times to ensure my flight left AFTER my girls flew to Mexico. In my mind, they left at 1 am, and I left at 4 am. A few days before the trip, Emma told me that I was incorrect and that they were leaving after me. I burst into tears when I realized I had made a big error. I pondered canceling the event, and my heart raced to find a suitable solution. I was mortified that I would not be there to send my girls off. After many tears and good counsel, I had peace about moving forward, but I had to grieve it many times. As I sat in the San Francisco airport, I felt deep regret of my error when I heard the Lord say, “I don’t make mistakes.” I agreed but reminded Him that I did. He then said the most tender words that still make my eyes fill up with tears. He said, “Lisa, you DO go before your children. You are returning to one of the largest cities in the U.S. for the eighth time and starting a fire with the Let the Children Fly message. But your girls are going further, carrying the FRUIT of the Let the Children Fly message.” They are the living fruit of what I preach, and it is time to surrender them on a whole new level. This new season feels scary to me as a mom, yet I trust their Father and know that Let the Children Fly was never all about me but rather about them. Go fly, my dear children, fly high!

CONTROL-BASED PARENTING

I was talking with a mom about others using the tools of control and disempowerment in parenting, and she burst into tears. She realized she was guilty of using them with one of her children and her heart ached, realizing how she had been negatively affecting her child. This is my WHOLE point in doing these posts on disempowerment. The issue rarely lies with the one being disempowered but the one doing it. Parents/leaders use these tools because something else is going on inside of them that makes them feel like they need to protect themselves. Nothing controls and pushes back someone further than disempowering them because it renders them powerless. It is a faulty coping mechanism for something greater going on. Here is the deal – God isn’t mad at the parent/leader who uses these tools because He understands WHY they do it. He sees their fear, anxiety, and insecurity that causes them to feel the need to self-protect. God doesn’t want them to stay that way, but He isn’t mad at them.

GOING AFTER LOVE

Going after the power of God alone leads to fear and intimidation. Going after the love of God is what makes you powerful.

GOD IS MY PROTECTOR!

We had just moved into our new home in California when I had the strangest dream about a yappy dog outside my patio. He wasn’t annoying me but trying to tell me something. It was so real. I woke up and sensed God telling me to turn the outside light on. I didn’t partner with fear but heard Him say, “Do not look outside. Just turn on the light.” I ended up staying up after that and never felt afraid as I knew God had my back but knew something was happening outside my patio door. It was the strangest thing. There is power in TURNING ON THE LIGHT!

LET HIM MOVE

If you want God to move in your family, you have to give Him ROOM to do so. When our agenda, need for control, and schedules are wound up so tightly, it doesn’t give room to depend on Him for what only He can do. Busyness and control are two killers of the supernatural in our families.

I WANT THAT

Do you ever hear of a great testimony and say, “I want that?” While the heart of sharing testimonies is the confidence God wants to do it again in your life, the focus has to be on HIM, not the fruit. We can’t just say, “I want that fruit”; it has to be, “I want HIM.” So, when you see God move mountains in someone’s life, let it encourage you that He is able, but ask Him for the keys in your own life and follow whatever He tells you in your situation.

TENDER HEART

I want to talk about compassion – for yourself. Compassion simply means having tenderness towards the areas that cause our hearts concern. Compassion is a balm to our hurting hearts. While it would be fabulous if everyone around us ministered this ingredient to our hearts daily, it doesn’t often work that way. In reality, when we aren’t able to be compassionate to our own heart, it makes it even harder to receive it from others.

When was the last time you sat and intentionally championed your own heart?

Many of us feel traces (or bucket fulls) of shame during the day – shame over our looks, belonging, parenting or relationships. The only antidote to shame is compassion. Shame can’t be rebuked, ignored or fixed. It only leaves when compassion is smeared all over it.

I encourage you to print the following list out or write a few of them on a sticky note and place them on your mirror. Speak them over yourself at LEAST once a day but allow them to be your go-to when your own heart needs tenderness.

It feels silly, I know. But trust me when I say that applying compassion to your own heart is a key to connecting with His heart because we can’t receive (from Him and others) what we don’t give ourselves. This is quite simple, yet deeply profound.

  • I see you trying so hard
  • I am proud of you
  • I am sorry you feel sad
  • I am sorry you feel alone
  • I am sorry you feel scared
  • I can tell you care so much
  • Take all the time you need
  • You are going to be ok
  • I will sit with you until you feel safe
  • I accept you
  • I value you
  • I am sorry you feel trapped
  • I think you’re brave
  • I don’t want to get rid of you
  • I don’t see you as broken
  • I see you
  • I enjoy you

How does this make you feel?

What was it like reading the list?

What kind of parent/person would you be if you were a pro at being tender to your own heart?

HUNGER FOR MORE

The next generation is screaming for moms and dads who truly see them and have the tools to help them. If you have been feeling a stir that there is MORE for your family than what you are experiencing, I invite you to join our JOURNEY class. You will learn new parenting tools, how to resolve (and dissolve) sibling conflict, increase peace in your homes and go deep with your connection with God.

You can register here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

1ST RESPONDER

We can teach our children that Jesus is a 1st Responder who we can go to with our highs, lows, and everything in between.

ENCOUNTER HIM

When we face anger, anxiety, fear, etc., it invites us to encounter Him. Many believe you have to be free of such things to encounter God, but the truth is some of the greatest intimacy comes when we invite Him into those messy places.