OFFENSE

OFFENSE

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OFFENSE

Offense is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standards or principles. John Bevere wrote an incredible book, The Bait of Satan, where he talks about how the enemy uses offense to bait you. Do not fall for it. When you encounter a post, person, or circumstances chomp away at your peace, it is worth exploring if the enemy is baiting you. Do not bite! Nothing gets you off track, out of peace, and listening to the wrong voice than OFFENSE! Matthew 24:10-13 (NKJV) – “And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.” No, thank you! 

Bait Of Satan – John Bevere – 11/29/15 – YouTube

SCHOOL SHOOTING

I lived in Colorado when the Columbine school shooting occurred, and it is a memory that shapes you. As much as we want to shield our children from the evil in the world, there are occasions when the right response is to empower and equip them amid danger and uncertainty.

One summer, our town was hit with deadly wildfires that kept everyone on edge for weeks. A mom came to me for help with her children, who were fighting nonstop and acting out. I asked what she told them about the fire, and she said, “Oh, we are protecting them by not telling them about it.” I lovingly encouraged her to stop lying to her children. The reality is our town WAS in danger, and we were going through REAL fear. To tell a child who feels it in the atmosphere that it is ‘nothing’ robs them of having a sound mind. Their bellies scream one thing while their trusted parent tells them another. This causes them to be confused and feel wildly insecure (hence the acting out). Children do not need to carry the weight of all the gory details, but when tragedy and crisis hit their world, in this case, their schools, parents, you have the privilege and responsibility of walking them through it. There is no doubt when school resumes, there will be talk on the playground. Picture the child who was told it was nothing by their parents and gets an earful from peers yet is expected to carry on in math class with no one to help them interpret what they are hearing. Now picture the child who was told the truth and was allowed to process their concerns and emotions with a loving parent. Which one do you want your child to be?

I encourage you to call a family meeting and talk about what is happening and allow the Spirit to lead you. Age-appropriate details are wise but share the truth, nonetheless. I like to share word pictures that help my children understand big events. In this case, I might ask them if they remember a time where they had a big meltdown and explain that sometimes adults get super upset about things and throw temper tantrums. This is the simplest way to explain the irrational behavior of an adult. Instead of seeing the offender as a big bad scary person, we can expose them for their immaturity and weakness in character. Ask them if they ever remember saying things in anger when they were mad. You can tell them there is a person who threw a big temper tantrum and has made threats with their words. When a child says mean things, they get disciplined for it by a parent, but when an adult makes threats or comments that include being mean to others, it is the policeman’s job to keep people safe.

Now is a GOLDEN time to talk to your children about Jesus being their friend. Role-play how to go to Jesus when they are away from Mom and Dad, feeling scared or afraid. This applies to overnights at a friend’s house, at the mall, or even in their schools. The enemy wants to scream fear at your child through the event, but as parents, we turn to Him and teach our children to declare the name of Jesus. I would highlight the following truths: God is in control. They have police and leaders who take their safety seriously. They are not alone – Jesus is always with them. They can ask Jesus for help. They are not a victim but powerful. I encourage you to walk your child through taking AUTHORITY over THEIR school. Recently, my daughters had to walk through over 20 classmates getting suspended or expelled for vaping. They began to rise up and pray that their school would be a no-vaping campus (out of protection for their friends). They had authority because it was their school. They can declare no weapon is allowed on their campus. Ask God to release angels to protect their school. Pray for the teachers, that they would have a check in their spirit when they need to act on something. Make declarations over their campus regarding kids being safe and protected. Remind them that they are NOT in danger, but the schools were closed to keep them safe. Fill their love tanks often today, which helps them to roll with life’s bumps. Empower them in the face of evil, not to cower in fear, but to smear the power and love of Jesus all over all that belongs to them, which includes their school.

Lisa responds to the Vegas shootings – YouTube

SEEDS PLANTED

You never know how God is going to use something He asks you to do. I have had people buy our HEART SPLINTERS book for their childhood teachers, grandparents, their mom who is still hurting from her childhood, their neighbor, their brother walking through addiction, as a wedding gift (could you imagine the pain and conflict spared getting heart splinters resolved early on?), single moms going through a divorce, young children, teens, youth group leaders, pastors (what a gift), as baby shower gifts (what a legacy). 

Jesus, I thank You that You gave Your life to defeat the enemy so that we can walk in freedom and wholeness from hurts, lies, and offenses.

Heart Splinters BOOK – Let the Children Fly

HEALING TRIGGERS

“Last night my husband startled me so badly that I became so enraged and punched him, which is unlike me because I’m not much of a physical person. I was so angry I wanted to cry. This morning God revealed to me how I felt an extreme lack of protection from my father. My dad always thought it was funny to scare the living daylights out of me. He wasn’t trying to torment me. He was playing, but for me, the way I am wired, it was torment. I had to forgive my dad for not protecting me and not making me feel safe and secure. Ahhhh!! Sweet relief!”

FAILURE TO SEE

This story broke my heart when I heard it, and I haven’t been able to shake it. A young man was raised with legalistic parents. He went into the homosexual lifestyle and was cut off from every family member for not renouncing his ungodly lifestyle. He is in the midst of writing a book about his journey, which includes being raped as a small boy but never telling anyone. This I know for sure. After the rape, he acted out the splinters in his heart, as our bodies are not wired to hold onto that type of trauma. He was most likely angry, defiant, aggressive, rude, and/or withdrawn, yet was met with parents who had a high value for outward behavior. Could you imagine for a moment what it is like for a child to endure such brutal agony and then be spanked, isolated, or rejected while trying to process it? My heart screams out for children to be HEARD and for parents to understand what is happening inside their hearts. Our online class is not a product I am selling. It is a lifeline to HELP parents see and help their children. You cannot afford NOT to be empowered and equipped. Your children need to know you have the answers and tools to help them.

USING YOUR TONGUE WISELY

God gave frogs long tongues to catch their food. They have to be very still and intentional about how they use their tongue, or else they will scare away their dinner and go hungry. Have the kids act out being a frog – jumping around, ribbiting, and sticking out their tongue. Then explain to the children that God has given us very powerful words. The Word says our words are like a sword, and we can either help or hurt others with them. We need to be very wise in how we use our tongues so that we don’t end up hurting those around us or ourselves.

Guarding Your Tongue – Nine out of ten times, when my children come to me to complain about someone else, I discover they are at fault themselves, and they end up getting disciplined for it. It was their ‘mouth’ that revealed there was an issue, and more times than not, the issue was with them. The goal is not to hide things from Mom and Dad but to teach children to choose their words carefully, to build others up and not tear them down. In the days ahead, when your children run to you to tattle-tale on their siblings, lovingly get down on their level and ask, “Honey, do you remember the wise frog? Are you using your tongue wisely right now?”

This lesson was taken from our Character Counts SOAR parenting magazine. If you are interested in more activities, you can purchase your digital copy here: Character Training SOAR Magazine – Let the Children Fly

Wise Tongues – YouTube

BELONGING

I love this testimony from my friend: “Last week one of my kiddos came home from an after-school class very distraught. He had experienced some relational pain with his peers and did not ever want to go back to this class. While I know I didn’t handle the situation perfectly; I tried to ask questions, listen and empathize. Then I shared some stories where I had had similar experiences as a kid, and I chose to quit almost every time. I told him I always wished I had the emotional capacity and support I needed to stick those hard situations out and see them through. He seemed responsive and willing to keep trying. But when that class came again this week, the panic alarm sounded, and he told me he would not go. I ended up getting him to class, honestly not knowing if I was making the right call. I got into my car to drive away with a plan to reach out to his class teachers, and then I also fervently prayed for him with two of my other kids. We asked God to intervene and show up in class today miraculously. When I went to pick him up, I saw that the teachers had called him after class, so I walked up to see what was going on. They had been seeing that he was struggling and were able to recognize and validate the issue he was having with one of his peers. Then they shared how much they valued him and how sad they would be if he left the class. They gave him a place of belonging and showed him how wanted he was. I almost burst into tears on the spot. God had heard my prayers and cared for my boy as only He could. My son left encouraged, seen, and more committed than ever to his class. Thank you, Jesus, that you hear when we cry out to you. You are our provider! And thank you for providing a beautiful school with a loving staff. My heart is full and oh so grateful.”

TOUGHER VS. STRONGER

Going through a crisis in and of itself does not make one stronger. In fact, in the natural, tragedy has the recipe to make one hardened, full of fear, and erect walls around their heart to keep it safe. How does a crisis make you stronger, then? By allowing God to purify those areas that are coming up while you are enduring the crisis. If we don’t allow God access to those places (the fear, poverty mindsets, lack, smallness in thinking, lack of faith, feeling unsafe, etc.), we will gain endurance in the crisis, not strength. We will be able to say, “I went through a divorce/disaster/death,” but you carry the same weight with you. Others allow God to purify them in their crisis, taking whatever is coming up to the surface to Him. They are the ones who say, “I went through a divorce/disaster/death and am a stronger person for it.” The choice in a crisis is to either medicate your flesh with things that make you feel temporarily safe (food, shopping, porn, denial, social media, avoidance, anger outbursts, etc.) or to steward the uncomfortable emotions and give God room to purify you. You may not be able to stop the crisis, but you do have a choice in either partnering with God’s redemptive work in you in the midst or resisting it. Tough has to do with endurance and how much you can go through. Strong has to do with strength. We don’t just want to say we endured hard things. We want to allow it to build our faith, emotional, relational, and spiritual muscles, which makes us stronger. Whatever the weight that is in your heart/mind is the very thing that, when given to God, makes you stronger!