I had a dream that literally shifted something so deep I will never be the same. I was with the kids, and we had just parked our vehicle in a driveway of a home for sale. We lived in our car, but it didn’t feel like homelessness or lack. We were happy, content, and had more than enough space. The kids remained in the car while I went to see the home. Upon walking out with the real estate agent, I noticed my eldest and youngest daughter were quarreling. I was a tad frustrated that I had to interrupt the transaction of paying CASH and signing the contract to deal with their argument. When I came to the back seat of the car, I saw the look on my eldest daughter’s face. She was raging red, and her hair was matted down with sweat as she and my baby were not just a little miffed but playing for blood. I have never in all my years of parenting seen my kids so violent and in rage against each other and it scared me. I knew my words would not get their attention, so I grabbed my youngest, who was closest to me and had to pull her out by her head. She fell to the driveway and went limp. She was in serious pain and physically hurt from fighting with her big sister. I woke up at 4am with every fiber in my body alert. I had to go touch them physically just to make sure they were both okay. I sat in my chair in the middle of the night asking the Lord to show me what just happened. Instantly He began to show me that my vehicle represented my calling/ministry, and while we were content where we were, I am about to receive an upgrade (3 level house). I have already sown into the increase and was ready to pay cash for it and move in. But the transaction/upgrade was interrupted by the fighting. I heard the Lord say, “The fighting has to stop NOW!” He said it with a loving, yet stern voice of a father who was serious. He began to show me that my eldest daughter represented my current self, and my youngest daughter presented my younger (wounded) self. They were at WAR! Even though my eldest is nearly double in size, my youngest was holding her own and causing just as much damage to her big sister. He showed me that before the transaction/upgrade could occur, the fighting must stop! What was the fight over? The little girl kept telling her big sister that she was dismissed. Constantly hearing, “You are dismissed and unworthy” prevented the big sister from being able to receive love even though she longed for it. While the big sister represented my current self, the part of me that was still hurt from my past, kept telling me I wasn’t worth it. Both girls were so strong and out to ‘kill’ the other because it was impossible to live in peace with both present.
Friends, the war within ourselves must cease in order to experience all that God has planned for us.