LOOK WHAT HE SAID

LOOK WHAT HE SAID

I believe this is what His original design for family was supposed to look and operate like.

From my sweet friend: “I taught my eldest son (14) how to soak and listen for the voice of God about four years ago, and in doing so, he has learned how to pray in the Spirit. He went to bed and got up an hour later and asked if we could talk. He proceeded to tell me he had been soaking and needed to share with me what he heard. All of a sudden he starts prophesying over me going after my heart splinters, my longing for a mother that was never fulfilled and how much that hurt and how I still long for it, and why I struggle with my stepmom is because I wanted that from her, too. It was never fulfilled… then he went on to speak about the hurt in her, and why she could not fulfill it. He started praying something along the lines of ‘You didn’t have anyone to mother you, but God was there, and He mothered you, which is why you can be the mother you are today.’ I have been processing ALL the things he spoke over me over the last few weeks as the Holy Spirit has shown me I have offense in my heart with my stepmom. God used my son to show me. God. Is. So. Faithful! Thank you for teaching us how to partner with the Holy Spirit in our parenting.”

PEACE IS YOUR PILLAR

Do you know that God wants to lead you by His peace? He knows how to lead your family well. Read this great testimony from my friend.

“I actually felt quite overwhelmed during part of our school year last year and considered putting our two oldest in a charter school. They were registered for this fall and everything. I had stomach aches DAILY until I submitted to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to sit down and seek God’s will for our family. Guess what? We’re still homeschooling this year, and I have felt nothing but peace about it since then!”

I AM IMPORTANT

“One night a boy came to the group for the first time. He had some special needs but was accepted instantly. We were talking about our hearts and had a gift bag that symbolized each child’s heart. We talked about how our hearts can become hurt when others don’t speak life to us, or we accept lies from the enemy. We gave examples of things that may have been said to us, hurtful things, and ripped off some black construction paper to fill our bags. Holding the white gift bags up, you could see a lot of dark inside since they were filled. I explained God created us ALL with treasures in our hearts, and when all of those hurts remain, we need to let Him heal our hearts. Each student threw out all of the ‘hurt’ and found a wrapped present at the bottom (they had no idea it was even there!). They ripped open their presents and were thrilled to find some sweet treats, as well as a bunch of notecards with special messages inside of what GOD says of them! Mason’s face grew hopeful, and He collected all of his notecards, shoving them back in his bag. He didn’t want to lose any of them as he said they were his treasures. I asked Mason if he thought there were any hurts in his heart that he needed God to take out, to which he quickly responded, ‘Oh yes! Definitely!’ I asked him if we could pray for him, and he agreed. God’s power was so overwhelming as we all laid hands on Mason and agreed for a healed heart. His countenance was so encouraged when we were finished. He told each student & helper he loved them as he left and asked if he could hug everyone. This is what it’s all about!”

STANDING ON TWO SOLID LEGS

Years ago, God gave me this picture of a spiritually healthy child with two solid legs to stand on. One leg represents the releasing of the Kingdom (identity, destiny, hearing His voice, healing the sick, Bible knowledge, prophesying, etc.). The other leg represents the tools needed to deal effectively with the things from the enemy that cut off the other leg! One without the other makes for an imbalanced and frustrating walk with Jesus. That vision is one of the founding motives for this and is in alignment with John 10:10 – “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”

SEXUAL SAFETY

One of the most vulnerable households for child sexual assault is the house that is run by ‘because I said so,’ and a legalistic one because they operate out of a list of rules and total parental authority and often fail to listen to the child. Children cannot hold in such a horrendous lie and/or the worry that abuse causes. They might not come right out and say that XYZ happened, but they will let it leak out, and we need ears to LISTEN TO THEM!

Here is a sad but true example: A little 4th grader came home from his youth group in a foul mood. The mom repeatedly disciplined him for his attitude, but he would not shake it. Finally, she asked him how youth group went, and he said, “I hated it.” She replied that he must go anyway because it was expected of him. He yelled out that his teacher was gay, and the mother swooshed him to his bedroom for talking inappropriately about someone. Had the mother listened to the child, she would have seen that he used to love youth group, and the sudden change warranted investigation. When a young child talks about an adult being gay, it should warrant you to find out why the child thinks that way, how he knows that of the youth leader, etc. If she had only asked and inquired deeper, she would have learned that her son was molested that night, only to come home and be disciplined for not wanting to return. I call it ‘pulling on the rope.’ When a child makes a harsh comment, pull on the rope by asking WHY questions. Not all ill words are a character issue; sometimes, they are flags waving to get our attention.

TENSION GONE

This is a GLORIOUS testimony of a mom who had lots of tension with her stepdaughter. She tried everything, and nothing worked until she partnered with Holy Spirit!

“My ten-year-old stepdaughter lives with us, except for every other weekend when she would visit her mom. When she would return, she would have an attitude and contempt for us. She also shared that she felt ‘awkward’ hugging our family. I felt like these were all symptoms that caused her heart to hurt. Lisa did a private Q&A with a few of us that brought a lot of feelings to light, especially grief and belonging. She brought up journaling, and I immediately felt led to write my stepdaughter a letter and let Holy Spirit lead me in what to say. She said she loved it and immediately connected with her brothers! Two weeks later, she came home from her mom’s, and her attitude was COMPLETELY different. She ran to her brothers and hugged and kissed us all. I am BLOWN away by what has happened. It took maybe 15 minutes to write the letter; it took her 10 minutes to read it, and yet Holy Spirit has completely CHANGED our relationship.”

BODYGUARDS

Ellie was feeling afraid, and I was reminded of a story I heard years ago that impacted me. It went something like this. A young girl was walking home late at night and passed a man who she later learned did some terrible things to another girl around the same time they passed each other. She couldn’t shake that it could have been her and went to the police station to identify him. She asked to speak to him and inquired why he walked by her and didn’t hurt her. His response was, “Are you kidding me? With those two big bodyguards walking with you?” I asked Ellie if two big bodyguards were standing at the door of her room, would she feel safer? Yes, of course. I then told her that the same God who protected that girl was there for her. She smiled and drifted off to sleep. Fear always reduces God to being powerless and incapable. Faith restores Him to His rightful place, position, and power.

UNBALANCED SCALES

I like to get away with God to give Him space to speak to me without an agenda. This is what He showed me during our recent time together. I saw a snake wrapped around me I assumed it meant some sort of deliverance (yikes), but He began to talk to me about being ‘joined at the hip’ and how the snake serves as fuzz in Velcro, preventing it from fully attaching and sticking together. I also saw a picture of slime, which by nature, is to be repulsive. Hmmm. As I inquired about the snake, He said the word, ‘scales’ three times. At first, I thought He meant the skin of a snake, but suddenly I saw a picture of a weight scale and instantly heard in my spirit, “God despises unbalanced scales.” This has to do with cheating on the true worth and value of something. I saw a line across a page, and He began to show me that when we are adopted, we are to live in that space. It includes our identity, worth, value, destiny, abilities, energy level, faith, etc. He showed me how people elevate themselves above the line with pride, idol worship (and allowing others to worship them), taking up space that isn’t theirs to take, self-promotion with an orphan heart, striving, building a platform over building His Kingdom, etc. This picture was easy for my mind to see and grasp. Then He said, “But there is another unbalanced scale that I hate,” and He showed me those who operate below the line by partnering with being disempowered, lack need for permission or approval, lacking godly confidence, being timid, shrinking back, not owning their voice, dismissing their gifts, comparison, etc. One elevates themselves above where God has them, and the other lowers themselves below God’s call on their lives. Both are out of balance of the true worth and value of a life called and adopted by God for His Kingdom and purposes. The only way to fully attach to others in the way God intended is to do so from the position He has called us. It is nearly impossible to connect in a healthy way to an idol, just as much as it is hard to thrive with someone who partners with lack. If you find yourself in either camp outside of the balanced God-given space, I encourage you to take some time to make this right with Him. Confess it and ask Him to bring you into His measurement of who you are!

READJUST AFTER SCHOOL

Want to help your child reset after coming home from school? Give them an intentional few minutes of just being still in God’s presence. I would have a snack prepared for them and tell them to grab a corner of the living room and enjoy their snack while just lying quietly. Sometimes all it took was five minutes, and you could feel a shift in the atmosphere.

Do you have teens who resist spiritual things? No problem. YOU soak and fill the atmosphere of your home with His presence before they come home. When they walk through the door, they won’t be able to help but feel His presence.

BORN FOR MISSIONS

When Lauren was five years old, I was dealing with a ripped carotid artery, and the kids needed to know the signs of stroke and how to respond. I attended a church in Loveland, Colorado as a visitor when Rob & Ellie Hein were missionary guest speakers. Rob called people forward, and I had a powerful encounter with Jesus. Rob noticed Lauren and came off the stage to her side. He asked if she was afraid (I later found out she thought I was having a stroke) and began to tell her that Jesus was encountering me and that I was okay. He then prophesied over her that he would see her someday in Africa. The seeds planted that day went straight to her heart and took root. By the time she was eight, she had asked for and read all of Heidi Baker’s books. She was in Mexico for a mission trip and texted me to say, “Mom, I was born for missions.” My heart wept as God continues to grow the seeds of this girl’s mighty destiny.

WORN OUT MOM

I was chatting with a mom the other night about her son getting out of bed 101 times. She went through the list and said, “Spanking doesn’t work,” “timeouts don’t work,” “withholding toys don’t work,” “getting mad doesn’t work,” and after the fifth example of what doesn’t work, I realized that SHE is the one who wasn’t working. I asked her why she thought it wasn’t working, and she said that her son kept doing the behavior despite her dealing with him. I asked how long she went after it, and she responded that she didn’t want to be the mean parent as she grew up with a lot of fear and intimidation. BAM! That was the key right there. She hasn’t yet fully reconciled her own experience, which was influencing her ability to parent her strong-willed son. She realized she didn’t want to use fear and intimidation, which is good, but she needed to keep going in her process. Does being firm mean intimidation? Is exercising parental authority going to induce fear over the child? If we don’t reconcile our parent’s parenting, we will swing so far to the other side, making both generations out of balance. We need to come into alignment with how God runs His family. No to fear and intimidation, yes to parental authority, and being firm.