Fight to be a Mary in this loud season. Find His feet and linger there. This affects your mind and heart and brings a calm and peace your children are desperate for at this hour. They don’t want to be doing more; they want to know the peace from a mother that has gazed upon Jesus long enough to transform her.
Gather the family in the family room and share this story with them.
The only bird that dares to peck at an eagle is the crow. He sits on his back and bites his neck. However, the eagle does not respond or fight with the crow; it doesn’t waste time or energy on it! It simply opens its wings and begins to rise higher in the heavens. The higher the flight, the harder it is for the crow to breathe, and then the crow falls due to lack of oxygen. Stop wasting your time with the crows. Just take them to your heights, and they’ll fade. The enemy will sit behind your back and bite your neck… “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31).
Discuss ways they have encountered a pestering crow. It may be through siblings, friends, a hurtful situation, or a lie they believe. Ask, “Why is going higher so important?” Talk through specific ways they can rise above and hold their head up high like an eagle.
In the days ahead, when they are dealing with pesky crows, remind them of this teaching and together ask Jesus how they can SOAR higher in that situation. In a world full of crows… be an eagle.
“This morning before school, we had an episode at home where a lie was involved. It resulted in us disciplining the child who had lied, who then decided to throw a fit, storming to her bedroom and locking herself in it. Daddy came to the rescue and managed to bring the child downstairs again to finish breakfast and get shoes on to head to school. I felt my child needed a little more explanation on why she was disciplined. I went on to explain that lying breaks Mommy’s trust and her heart. I tried to explain it from many angles and as easily as possible. The other child, who was not involved, comes in and says, ‘Mommy, could I try to explain it in a different way?’ I agreed. Said child puts her two hands together in the format of a bridge and says: ‘This is you (…), and this is Mommy. You guys are close, and you trust each other. When you lie, this bridge gets weaker.’ Slowly separating her hands, she proceeds, ‘Then, if you keep lying, the bridge will break because there will be no trust.’ So, we made an agreement, building a little bridge with our hands, that we would always tell the truth no matter how difficult that truth is and even if we are scared of telling the truth. I realized she was feeling a lot of shame because of telling a lie. So, Daddy (being the most amazing daddy in the world) said, ‘I also lied when I was a kid.’ Her eyes widened, and she asked, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘I was scared.’ I could sense shame falling off of her as she realized that she was not the only person that ever lied. I took the opportunity and also said, ‘Mommy has also lied because I was scared of being punished if I told the truth.’ I could tell she was mind blown by both of us admitting we had lied before. We reinforced the importance of telling the truth no matter what and got them ready for school. As soon as we were done, she jumped up and walked around like the full confident self she was. She came over to say goodbye to me, and we did our special handshakes, and at the end, we built a bridge again, and this time around, there was no shame in her eyes. Lessons learned in this. I’ll definitely take that illustration of trust with me forever. That’s gold! Vulnerability breaks shame! Boom! I love my family more than anything after Jesus!”
God created us to be fully alive, deeply accepted, and truly belong. The aftermath of the fall is that man became a spiritual orphan separated from God and wandered around life, feeling profound feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and isolation. The Good News is that Jesus came to restore us to that place of deep security with the Father. We can accept Christ yet still wander like an orphan, striving, begging, and doing life on our own. Imagine a child digging through the dump, fending for themselves, and meeting their needs for food and clothing all on their own. Now picture a palace where the table is always set and a room with your name on it. When we become Christians, we get the honor of living in the palace, yet some enjoy the view and go back to the dump laboring daily to meet their needs. It is impossible to raise a child as a Son/Daughter in the palace when you occupy the dump yourself. Orphan parenting is when we parent our children from a place of isolation, abandonment, self-protection, striving, loneliness, self-sufficiency, and lack. We are teaching them orphan living, not Kingdom reality.
There is only ONE perfect Parent, and His name is Father God. He created parenting and is the original Father. Everyone all falls short but is invited to PARTNER with Him. This really is excellent news. You don’t need to walk under the pressure of perfection, which means you can enjoy your parenting journey.
I sat on the bench against the window with the sun beating on my back as if to hear the Son saying, “I have your back.” I remember the day like it was yesterday because it was the day God gave me the strategy on how to raise my son. I was already a mother of 14-month-old twin daughters, and while I was still a new mom, I had this deep confidence that I would know how to raise them as a female myself. When I held my newborn son for the first time, there was something so deep within me that I felt unsure about raising a son. Maybe it was being raised without a father, or perhaps it was just my own fears and lies, but the uncertainty was evident. Hudson was barely a few days old when we took off to the local bookstore to seek wisdom on how to raise a son. I gathered the books that grabbed my attention and sat against the window, flipping through the pages. I didn’t leave with a single book but found the strategy I was searching for. In one of Dr. James Dobson’s parenting books, there was a section on a boy’s heart and how we must be diligent in going after it. When a girl has a break in connection, she has built-in wiring to repair, rebuild, and reconnect. But when a boy endures disconnection, he needs help coming back. I was so excited to be empowered. That night, as I held my newborn bundle in my arms with tears rolling down my cheeks, I promised that I would never let the sun go down without his heart in the palm of my hands. Fifteen years later, I have made good on that promise. It hasn’t always been easy, but I have diligently pursued his heart. How have I pursued his heart over the years? By teaching him godly character, explaining on his level what connection looks like, allowing him space but not isolation, and never letting the sun go down in anger or conflict. Speaking his love language daily, calling out tones and attitudes, intentionally restoring the joy chemicals in his brain, hugging him, and telling him I love him in words other than “I love you.” Speaking over him who he is called to be, prophesying over his future, not tolerating slammed doors or storming off, and teaching him how to respect me in his actions and speech. Limiting the number of video games, not allowing violence to entertain him, role-playing how to interact with his sisters when he is upset, and fighting in the spirit realm over him. Speaking over his future success, “You are going to be…”, being aware when there are emotional or relational walls, telling him the fruit he will bear with his choices (good or bad), helping him see how good connection feels, and how it is worth the work it takes!
It never ceases to amaze me how much children actually have the Kingdom right, and we have it backward. In the natural, they are the ones that get afraid and automatically cling to their daddy for protection. Yet it is when parents are partnering with fear and refuse to go to the Father that creates the greatest hindrance in the family’s spiritual health. Fear is a LIE used by the enemy that prevents us from holding our Father’s hand and trusting Him to protect us. So instead, be childlike and jump in His lap!
Baby Moses was the answer to the Israelites’ plea for help from their bondage that lasted for generations. So, what is God birthing through your child? Time will tell. How you steward the calling on their life is the difference between slavery and freedom for others.
Some of you are battling things that are consuming you and causing you to be so weary. While we live in a fallen world with a real enemy, many of you are losing the battle simply because you are not armed with heaven’s tools. It doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, becoming equipped and empowered is not only available to every believer, but it is God’s mandate on your life. It is the honor and privilege as a Son/Daughter to walk in strength, radical love, and a clear mind. Whatever you are dealing with today does not need to defeat you. Heaven has tools and strategies to help you overcome, come out from under it, and bear fruit. There is hope!
My goal isn’t to have perfect kids. My goal is to keep their heart in the palm of my hand and teach them a lifestyle of going to God even in the hard and messy places.
The goal is not to use spiritual tools to ‘fix’ our children. The goal is to lead our children to an encounter with their Father!
