I had two significant encounters that changed my relationship with Holy Spirit. Here is the second one.
I was so hungry for more of Him and heard about a conference called Awaken to Destiny with a man named Randy Clark. I went. The worship was deep, yet I felt a disconnect. I got back to my hotel room late and sobbed. I told the Lord, “Whatever this space is between us, I can’t take it anymore. I cannot possibly go through another worship hour, another great speaker, and know that there is MORE but not be able to experience it.” I literally felt like there was a part of me that would die if He didn’t close the gap. The following morning, I woke at 4, and in ways that only Holy Spirit can orchestrate. He brought me to this YouTube video. Watch it for yourself: Healing the Orphaned Spirit – Leif Hetland – YouTube.
I went back to the conference and felt like a totally different person. Later that day, Randy called for “impartation.” I had no idea what that word even meant. I knew that some people were going forward, but others were not. I found myself walking up front, honestly not knowing who was supposed to be there. But I didn’t care. I was so hungry it didn’t matter if I made a fool out of myself. I had this awareness that since I was three people deep from the stage, Randy would not be able to touch or pray for me, which I was okay with. I felt safer being three rows away from him (because I knew he was powerful and wasn’t sure what would happen, which scared me a bit). I found my arms stretched out and kept saying “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,” repeatedly, but with such force; it felt embarrassing and freeing at the same time. Suddenly, this massive, giant-like hand clapped itself over my left shoulder, and I fell to the ground. I felt this physical wave of deep warmth I have never ever felt before. I honestly did not know at that point if this was God or not. I just knew that I felt so loved, and I liked it. I was aware that others were on the ground, too, but had no grid for what was happening.
When you sit on the sideline watching, it is NOTHING like being the one who is experiencing it for the first time. I opened my eyes just a crack to see this man step over me, the same one who put his hand on my shoulder. I knew it was that man named Bill Johnson who was speaking later that day, but I knew nothing about him except for the fact that his touch sent me into the most powerful experience with God’s love that this girl has ever known. I stood up from that encounter and have never been the same. His love touched something so deep in a way that I did not know was humanly possible this side of heaven. Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I want you to see that I spent a decade pursuing God, Jesus, and the Word with everything I had but was resisting Holy Spirit just as strong. My mind would not allow me to be entertained with the truth about Him. I had to EXPERIENCE Him to know Him because my mind had created boundaries preventing me from learning more about who He was. Saul was the same way. He was Jesus’ #1 enemy until he EXPERIENCED Him. These two encounters (experiences with Holy Spirit) forever changed my life and ushered me into my calling and purpose on earth.