LET HIM HEAL YOU

LET HIM HEAL YOU

This is perhaps one of the most fascinating things about God and mankind. He knows what parents/leaders need and lack, so He sends children/people who carry it better than they do. Yet often times parents/leaders use their authority to protect that part of them that needs to come into alignment instead of allowing God to yield their heart through that person. They build walls, shut doors and disempower the very person God sent to BLESS them. The nature of conflict does not disqualify a person. Often times the conflict is just revealing something isn’t in alignment, and God wants to parent the area the conflict is revealing. It is what you do with the conflict that is God’s desire and plan for your life. Your areas of greatest conflict with a child/person could very well be the area God sent that person to touch in you so that it can come into alignment. Disempowerment and control kill the process for all parties.

GOD IS ON THE MOVE

This season has been no joke and has shaken just about everything in its path! However, God is on the move and doing such a deep and good work in so many people. This is a defining hour and how we respond is the difference between bitter and better, wounded and healthy, backward or forward, desperate or satisfied. Allow Him to transform your family! 

I want to invite you to grab a friend and take the JOURNEY class together. When you have someone to walk with you and process, it excels your journey. Get the tools and healing needed not just to survive but THRIVE! There is no need to wait. You can jump-start your JOURNEY today.

Click to register: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

CRAZY CYCLE

This is going to be a HUGE key for many parents! From a very early age, I could feel resistance with one of my daughters. I figured it was a generational thing and have intentionally gone after her heart. I would find myself saying YES to the others with ease, but my heart was hesitant, and I always wanted to say NO to her. It made no sense to me, but I could feel it. She agitated me in a way the others didn’t, yet she wasn’t really doing anything in the natural to warrant it. It was awful to admit because it felt like maybe I even liked her less than the others. I didn’t, but the resistance always made me feel like I was subtly rejecting my own child. God later revealed this to me through someone else, and I rushed home to share it with my daughter. She cried and began to tell me that she felt it, too, and even when we would go on dates, she felt like she couldn’t get close to me. We walked through what this looked like between us and have had such breakthrough.

It looks like this: When there is control-based parenting, the child responds in one of two ways. #1. They feel resistance, anger, and/or have hate or murder in their heart (which doesn’t mean death but can ‘kill’ you with their words). These children then partner with the spirit of REBELLION in their hearts. This can be outward or inward rebellion. #2. The other child feels hurt, isolated, withdrawn, unworthy, like a victim, and helpless when faced with a controlling parent, and they partner with a spirit of REJECTION. The problem is that when the parent feels the spirit of rebellion or rejection coming from the child, it makes them increase their control. A crazy cycle begins in which neither the parent nor the child is really seeing/responding to the other person, but rather the two spirits of control and rebellion/rejection are having a hay day! Connection, love, and unity go right out the window.

My daughter was partnering with a spirit of rejection, and I CAN’T STAND the spirit of rejection. My daughter wasn’t agitating me; the spirit was. Once she began to partner with that spirit, no matter what I would say, she would feel hurt and rejected, which drove me up a wall (in all honesty). I did use more control-based parenting until she was around five years old when I discovered Holy Spirit. But I think it has more to do with how opposite we are. She is my dancing, joyful, giddy, silly, talk a mile a minute, always wanting to create things, bake things, make a mess with paints, glitter and glue kid. I am busy, serious, don’t like messes, and have little appreciation for creative arts. Neither of us are wrong, but because I am the adult, she was feeling controlled by my repetitive ‘no’ answers and not giving her more freedom to be herself. The cycle had gone on for so long that it began to feel normal. It is easier to partner with control when they are younger, but once the spirit of rebellion and rejection are in motion, it is the tween and teen years where the ‘fruit’ of that parenting really begins to reveal itself in the child. Since the spirit of rebellion and rejection have a legal right to be there, they influence the child to behave and make choices that only further the parents’ drive for control. Obviously, rebellion and rejection are not what we want to introduce our children to. We are the ones to break the cycle!

Praise God for this incredible revelation and tool so that we can break free from the enemy’s tools of control, rebellion, and rejection, and we can walk in freedom and connection. If this sounds like something that you are experiencing with one of your children, I encourage you to spend time with Holy Spirit talking to Him about it. If you need to repent, do that first. Set a date with your child (mine was out on the driveway while the other kids were inside). Fill their love tank for a few minutes first, as a filled tank always lowers the walls and makes hard conversations easier. Explain to them that God loves them so much and has shown you an area that you need to change (this makes them feel secure that God has their back, too). I drew a figure 8 and showed her how the crazy cycle went around and around and how we both played our roles. I asked her to please forgive me for making her feel controlled. I also helped her walk through asking Jesus for forgiveness for partnering with the lie and spirit of rejection. We hugged and cried and allowed for Holy Spirit to heal without words for a while. We then tasted the new fruit in the days to come. I also called a family meeting and made sure everyone was aware of the cycle. We agreed that when they were feeling controlled, or I was seeing the rebellion/rejection, we could call out a special code to signal we were partnering with it again. I also want to add that children can control their parents, causing parents to partner with rebellion and rejection, too. This can also be a dynamic with siblings where one is controlling another. If you had a controlling parent, ask Holy Spirit if you are still allowing the spirit of rebellion or rejection to influence you today. Spirits don’t leave us just because we move out of the house. This is NOT a reflection of you being a bad parent, but rather a reflection of the enemy and what he does best – kill, steal and destroy – in this case, the connection with our children. Don’t allow him to put the blame back on you. It is okay to get mad that many of us come under this but use the anger to rise up in your authority and break the cycle. Ask Holy Spirit what keys He wants you to use with your child to repair the connection. Thank You, Father, for being a perfect parent and helping us along the way!

Crazy cycle between parent and child: Crazy Cycle Between Parent & Child – YouTube

THE BEDROOM IS GETTING HOTTER

Yeah, I just said that. I love it when God ministers in themes. The theme of this post is the bedroom. Walk with me through these three powerful stories of God setting women free in the marriage bed. I am sharing with their blessing. 

Mom #1 – There has always been a presence of fear and unwanted violent sexual thoughts. She would have to manage these thoughts with great effort while being intimate with her husband. God showed us that doors were open in the spiritual realm through shame and hidden sin in her family line. We addressed it spiritually by closing the door and walking in our authority. All this time, she thought something was wrong with her for having those unwanted thoughts when it was a spirit. Shortly after, she sent me a message saying she was experiencing intimacy with her husband like never before. Yeah, God! 

Mom #2 – She mentioned that she was raised with strong legalistic views about sex. I explained that sex is good and God’s gift to be enjoyed thoroughly in the context in which He outlines. Attraction, puberty, coming alive, and falling in love are all GOOD and part of God’s original plan. To partner with extreme lack, shame and legalism are just as out of balance as sexual sin or perversion. While she wanted to enjoy her husband, she felt this separation from herself, almost as if she had never fully awakened in that area when she was younger. When we have an inferior belief system that is not God’s, we create behaviors that are not in alignment with God’s best. Every time we partner with that behavior, we strengthen the release of the wrong kingdom. She assumed all these years that something was wrong with her sexually, preventing her from fully engaging, but it was a spirit lying to her that stemmed from strong legalistic views. We broke the agreement with the lying voices telling her sex was dirty and shameful, and Jesus gave her permission to en-JOY her husband. 

Mom #3 – She confessed to me that her mental thought life was unhealthy. She shared how, as a little girl, these thoughts would often visit her while on the school bus and alone in her room. She has no history of violation or seeing anything with her eyes, yet the thoughts came often. While partnering with Holy Spirit, He revealed that her mom had undealt-with sexual violation and that the sexual door was left open, making her vulnerable as a child to these spirits. I kept sensing the word ‘parent’ while ministering to her, and she agreed that the thoughts met an emotional need and brought comfort (even though she never acted on them or engaged other than in her mind). Over the years, she had a hard time divorcing herself fully from the thoughts because they did bring her comfort, despite the price tag that came with it. I was so happy when she messaged me to say she experienced intimacy with her husband for the first time WITHOUT the false comfort of the thoughts. 

All three of these women encountered sexual spirits as a child yet assumed something was wrong with them because of it. While there are cases of addiction, lust, and poor sexual choices, these women were clearly dealing with it on the spiritual level, which required walking in authority to break it. 

WHO ARE THEY?

Mary and Joseph were the human vessels God worked THROUGH to accomplish HIS purpose and plan for HIS Kingdom! What if Joseph decided *HE* wanted Jesus to be a football player or a doctor? Just think of how the world would have missed what God was doing. God is smart. God is good and knows what He is doing with the world. He needs parents who will lay down their own agenda and partner with what He is doing SO THAT our children can do all that He has created them to do for His purpose and His plan. I encourage you to spend some quiet time before the Lord today and ask Him, “Father, will You please show me what YOU have put inside my child” or “Holy Spirit, will You please show me the destiny (purpose on earth) You have placed deep inside of them?”

IT ISN’T YOU

There are two ways to teach a child how to swim – on dry land, where you explain everything to their mind, OR by putting them in the water and giving them step-by-step instructions on how to survive. 

God is inviting MANY into the pool right now and wants to teach you how to use spiritual tools that have not yet been used before. It can be scary for a small child to hold their breath underwater for the first time, but once they trust their instructor’s instructions, they can master the skill and enjoy playing in the water. God wants to teach His children how to master the weapons of heaven so that they can play in His Kingdom on earth.

How many of you have felt a strange heaviness or unique feelings that you know are not you? After posting about what I was feeling in the atmosphere (this constant sense like I was in big trouble. Yet I knew it wasn’t me personally), many of you have messaged me saying, “Oh, I thought I was going crazy until I read your post.” No, no, no, you are not going crazy. God does not allow us to see, hear, or feel things in the spiritual realm just to crush us. Yes, some things are indeed big and heavy, but the purpose of having discernment is for Him to use you on earth. 

So first, if you have been feeling foreign and unique things that you know isn’t you (coming from unprocessed pain, unforgiveness, or offense), pinpoint what it is that you are feeling/sensing. This heaviness feels like _____. Second, ask, “Jesus, thank You for giving me spiritual eyes to see and ears to hear. What do You want me to do in response to this?” Third, OBEY whatever He tells you. He is the Commander of heaven and earth and knows how to lead His people. Your job is not to have it all figured out and understand the big picture. Your responsibility is to obey.

WHAT’S THE POINT?

The kids and I were praying for a friend walking through some deep hurts from their church. It was painful to see them hurting over what feels so unjust. We were reminded of some of our own experiences with imperfect leaders. Interactions with those in authority shape our spiritual development. One of the kids said, “Mom, really, what’s the point of church? People can just go to Jesus on their own.” It was a real and honest statement from a child who has seen the ‘ugly’ side of the church. I was moved to tears and said, “No, no, no, child. The church is Jesus, and we come to worship Him, not man. Just because man has been imperfect in leading like Jesus doesn’t mean we turn on the church. We love, honor, and respect the church, AND we walk through hurts, disappointments, and being misunderstood.” I realized in that moment how many children grow up resenting the church, not just from their own experience but from witnessing the church bring pain to their parents.

If being hurt by the church is something you have experienced, it is imperative that you walk through it with your children so that they do not gain a warped view of the church. I explained that the church is Jesus’ Body, just like we have a liver, spleen, nose, eyes, hair, arms, etc. The church is made up of all sorts of different people. Just because the liver is weak doesn’t mean we give up on the whole body. We pray for the liver to be healed and whole, but we don’t give up on it. The church is family, and we do not discard family just because they are imperfect.

We owe it to the next generation to invite, bridge, and restore them to the church!

GODHEAD PARENTING

Once you learn the incredible ways earthly relationships can impact or distort a child’s view of the godhead (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit), it changes the way, you parent. I am constantly looking for ways to reveal to them the reality of who God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit really are. There have been times when I have not modeled it well and have responded harshly or with impatience. When I go back to make it right, I will say, “Holy Spirit is never harsh or impatient with you, and I am sorry that I treated you that way.” One of the most helpful things you can say to a child going through a divorce is, “Do you know God will never leave you?” or to the child being bullied, “Jesus would never treat you like that.” Humans fall short, but God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit do not.

YOU NEED TIME TO GROW YOUR WOOL

Years ago, God showed me that I was still operating in a position of shame, like a black sheep (even though I know I am not one). I saw myself with black fur on me and was processing with the Lord how to get the black fur off of me. I figured He would show me how to come out from under it since it was a false garment. Instead, I had a vision where Jesus came to me like a rugged Australian sheep farmer and began to shave all of the wrong-colored wool off of me. When He was done, I was naked and automatically ran into the midst of all of the older sheep who had thick white wool. There was a sense of being protected and safe amongst them. I asked the Lord why He shaved me. He said, “You need time to grow your wool.” It is okay to be naked and vulnerable to shed our old position, operating systems, mindsets, and behaviors. It is already finished, but I was walking out my revelation of it. We need to be protected amongst healthy leaders and safe environments in our down-to-the-bone nakedness.

SELF-HATRED

JOURNEY isn’t about a moment, a one-time fix, or a parenting program. This is about a journey of going deeper with Him. This precious mama changes her children’s lives simply by being willing to go further in her journey with Him.

“This lesson really revealed a heart splinter of my own that has been festering for two decades. As a child, I had a strong desire to go to the Air Force Academy. Looking back, I know this idea was planted by my father, a pro-military man. Being the youngest of seven kids, I also think there was some pressure to perform for the financial gain as well as sort of the ‘last-ditch effort’ from my dad. I had always been closer to my dad and felt I didn’t measure up to the perfect daughter ideal that my mother had. I would rather be in the barn with Dad than shop for the latest styles at the mall. I wholeheartedly partnered with the lie that I could achieve favor with my earthly father IF I could just get into the Academy. I worked on every piece of my life to make the Air Force Academy a reality. I pushed and pushed to be the best at all things – school, sports, standardized tests, volunteering… anything that would get me ahead and get me in. The irony is I didn’t get in, and my dad never forgave me. This year on my birthday, he mocked and ridiculed me for it again in front of my closest friends. I finally realized it wasn’t about me – my Heavenly Father was carrying me and loving me through a whole decade of self-hatred after that event. I felt abandoned by my family and was in a real state of self-defeat. I tried relationships, alcohol, and eating disorders and all those lies created more hurt and heart splinters. I prayed daily for relief from the sadness, and in hindsight, I saw God was carrying me and protecting me from myself through all those years. As I surrendered my experience, I vowed not to do that to my children. They will know God’s peace, His enduring love for them, and the truth that their worth is from Him and nothing I put upon them. I also see now that I am worthy of His love and that nothing I have done has separated me from His love.”

Parents, I invite you to join the JOURNEY. Your children will thank you for it! Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

 

GO PLAY

How many of you can relate to this mom in the area of PLAYING with your children? 

“The first word that came to mind that He wants me to do differently is PLAY! I am not good at playing. It’s not natural for me, but I see my kids come to life when we lighten things up and PLAY. So, Holy Spirit, come and give me a spirit of playfulness! Let me have FUN with my kids!!”

Lisa’s response: Can you sit with it and ask Him to show you what about play makes your heart so uncomfortable? This is where God uses the next generation to align and restore the current generation and what was lost. Allow Him to reveal, heal and restore the art of joyful play.