Is there an area that you burn with jealousy? A spiritual orphan sees what others have and sees lack. They believe that there isn’t enough for them and, therefore, can’t celebrate the blessings of someone else. A Son/Daughter sees what God has done in someone else’s life, and it gives them hope and excitement for what is possible.
Video – Be U – YouTube
Podcast – Ellie – Be U by Lisa Max – Let the Children Fly! (anchor.fm)
Many of us are fully aware there is hurt in the family. Why? Because we have spiritual orphans for parents, and they parent out of that place. One can be a believer and still operate as an orphan in certain areas. Orphan living creates a lifestyle of hardship, pain, control, confusion, lack, anxiety, worry, and fear. God knit your child together in HIS image but with YOU in mind. He knows what you did and didn’t get in childhood and knits your child together perfectly to BLESS you. Sometimes that blessing comes in the way of conflict, challenges, and frustrations because your child is made in His image, and there are things in YOU that need to come into alignment. When the parent partners with fear, the child typically resists because they do not have the same fear. When a parent partners with orphan tools like control, the child typically resists because their nature is not designed to be controlled. When a parent partners with anger, the child builds walls to self-protect. When there is a pattern of conflict with a child, the goal is to see if this is your issue or theirs. Who is the one God is growing in their capacity? Of course, that is the nature of childhood to evolve, grow, and mature, but sometimes the friction and conflict in our parenting is because God wants to align, heal, change, mold, shape, or address something in US. THE SAME GOES FOR LEADERSHIP! You can have spiritual orphans in leadership operating out of their own journey, causing hurt and pain to those under them. When there is a pattern of conflict, ask God, “Is this their issue or mine?” When it is a leadership issue – PLEASE HEAR THIS – we need to remember we are no longer little children. We are Sons and Daughters with a voice. We have Kingdom assignments and authority. God knew that leaders have blind spots, weaknesses, and orphan places when they were promoted in leadership and/or given spiritual gifts. How do you know God did not knit you together perfectly in that church to see, hear, and experience the area they need to grow in? If you have eyes to see, then you have been given a privilege by God to be a part of the solution, not add to the problem (directly or indirectly). We are not there to expose and tear them down despite the pain caused; we are there to COVER them. How do you cover them? #1. You need to have conversations with Jesus before conversations with others. #2. Resolve the hurt and pain in your heart, FIRST. Forgive, forgive, forgive. #3. If a culture of honor means a culture of silence, you are no longer participating in the right kingdom. The truth sets us free, and we need the Body to process that truth at times. Robbing people of the ministry of validation only isolates the pain, which is a breeding ground for lies. #4. Discern the spirit behind it. What is really in operation? We know we do not fight people of the flesh, but rather the spirit behind it that is influencing them. #5. Use your authority over that spirit in your own life. Expose the spirit and break up with it. Refuse to be manipulated by it anymore. #6. Pray for that leader to come out from under that influence. Release the opposite spirit over them. #7. Ask God for an opportunity to talk with them. #8. Do not rob them of your presence just because you have gotten hurt by their orphan behavior. BE THE CHANGE they need. Stand and stay until the Lord releases you from that assignment. #9. If you talk with others about it, make sure your speech is not about swapping stories but rather leading others to freedom and healing, and then together, pray for them. Stand in the gap for them and release Holy Spirit in that area of their life. #10. Allow God to use this trying and challenging season to refine and build you up in your voice and calling. God generally allows us to experience the things we have the greatest authority over. Treat the situation how you would want your children to respond to you when operating out of orphan parenting.
Sometimes I think I could write a book titled MY DESTINY (almost) KILLED ME! I am opening up a window into a part of my journey to see some of the lessons God has taught me along the way. May it encourage you in your journey!
I have wrestled these past years deeply with managing Let the Children Fly. Is it a business? Is it a ministry? Many would say it is both. Yet as others attempted to empower me on how to GROW my platform, it only increased my inner agitation. There is an insane amount of pressure in the Body of Christ to create and establish something by the labor of your own hands. Years of seeking wise counsel would tell me how to increase and grow my ministry, yet I could never get peace about it. Until recently, when God told me why… I never set out to run a business or lead a ministry. Growth organically occurred AFTER I stewarded what He gave me. To grow my platform outside of my intimacy with Him felt scary, even risky. It’s like working with a publisher before the book is finished. We can only faithfully steward something within our capacity. God isn’t about increasing the platform. He is about increasing capacity to steward more of what He wants to give you, and IN THAT, the platform increases naturally. To do it the other way around is nothing short of pride. It will not reap a true harvest. God will never give you a platform in your name.
Banning Liebscher once said, “Do not go after being the most elegant speaker. Go after the anointing and authority. The first produces fame; the second produces transformation and eternal fruit.” Everyone wants a platform, but few survive the resistance training between the audience and the stage. There has to be a process, a journey. Before you can carry the weight of a platform, you must be refined in key areas of weakness, or the stage will crush you. It is God’s mercy not to elevate you beyond your capacity. He isn’t denying you; He is protecting you. Everyone has patches of ice they slip on, and God wants to teach you how to endure things without falling. This is a process of growth that takes time. God is a master at growing people for the long term and is not interested in fifteen minutes of fame. He wants fruit that will last into eternity and later generations. Fruit takes time to mature. The Body has lost the art of serving others for no other motive than helping someone else succeed. Not everything needs to be turned into a marketing or financial funnel to profit you. Social media is a power that exposes what is inside us. If a sense of significance comes from the number of likes, we are partnering with a dangerous pit. While the temporary high of the ‘likes’ feels good, it leaves us feeling empty. There is nothing wrong with social media as long as it is from a place of being a Son/Daughter. Our motive is everything. Some people do not have a calling to reach the world. They have a calling to change the world of a few people well. You will be rewarded, not for what you grew, but for how faithful you were with what God has given you.
I was lamenting to God once about the world’s value around numbers. The pressure that says you are only as good as your followers. I had an intimate time surrendering the pressure to God and being okay right where He has me. The next day I woke to a message from Facebook saying they helped me clean my group up and deleted **2K** people from my group. Gulp. I felt the loss for a moment and knew deep down I was okay because the numbers (+ or -) do not define my faithfulness, worth, or value. The pressure broke off, and I refused to let it drive me.
You can’t find your calling/destiny until you first have discovered your new identity as a Son/Daughter. To give you your destiny before you know how to operate in your calling would be a recipe for disaster. If you want to know your destiny, first learn your true identity. Finding your calling is one thing – overcoming the battle to remain in it is another. God isn’t looking for the most significant person, ministry, or platform. He is looking for YOU to be faithful in stewarding what He has given YOU. You contribute something on earth today that is vital, and you can’t afford to waste it on anything outside of where He has you. There is only one Kingdom ROCKSTAR, and His name is Jesus. He didn’t come to promote but to steward well all that His Father gave Him to profit others, not Himself.
I love how God sets us up for success as parents. My daughter was really hurt by someone and needed some room to work through the messy emotions. After we were done processing, the verse of the day popped up on my phone and read, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21). Instantly, I heard in my spirit that I was to apply that in this situation and said, “Do not be overcome by an orphan but overcome the orphan by being a Daughter.” Spiritual orphans operate differently than Sons and Daughters, even in pain. There was a profound shift in her when she realized the other person’s choices were not a reflection of who she was. Teaching our children WHO they are is critical to helping them navigate life.
God sent His Son, Jesus, so we could connect to Him. He longs to connect with you deeper than your mind could fathom or heart hold. The gift of Jesus is free, yet you gain everything. I have a burning passion to help you connect to your Father and created this resource to help strengthen your spiritual hearing.
Use code: Hear4You. Conversations with our Creator eBook – Let the Children Fly
Children who grow up with the wrong voices inside their mental bubble carry them around for years, shaping who they become. We can empower our children to reject lies and protect who God designed them to be. Proverbs 4:23.
“Our son struggles with ‘word cursing’ himself, name calling, and labeling himself with lies. Through Lisa’s teachings, the Holy Spirit guided me to get ‘Hello, My Name Is’ tags. We met with our son and had a conversation about what it must feel like to carry those ‘labels’ on himself. We talked about the power of his words, and the things he’s telling his heart. We gathered our family, and we began writing down things that he has called himself or lies he has spoken over himself. The labels began to add up quickly. We then as a family got into a group and told him that we were his football team, and to come stand by us. We asked him how he felt standing near us with all of those lies written all over him and those things he was believing about himself. He replied, ‘I feel like I don’t belong,’ – it was a powerful moment for him. We told him that because of Jesus, there is no condemnation, and he doesn’t need to keep those lies and labels. He removed each label, asked Jesus for forgiveness, repented, and then spoke truth over himself as he tore them off. He took the pile of stickers and handed them to Jesus. Now, whenever my son speaks a lie, word curse, or anything negative about himself we keep the labels handy and write down what he spoke. He repeats the steps, and we celebrate victory over the enemy, cancel the word curse, and release truth and blessing over him.”
I recently hosted a series of parenting classes at the local rescue mission for moms in crisis with drugs and alcohol. In all honesty, I said yes fully expecting it not to work. I told the manager I would do it once and then we could regroup. I was actually expecting to fail thinking there was no way these keys would work for them in their situation, but I was excited to get in there and pull on heaven for the keys and strategy for them. To my surprise, not only did the parenting classes work (ha!), but it began to transform not only the women but the whole house. God highlighted five women to pull in further and mentor them. We met every week and the most glorious thing happened in our last meeting. I began to prophesy over each person and this powerful presence came into the room. Every single person (even staff) began to weep as we all realized *I* was not the one who He was going to give the keys to, but them!!! These women are learning how to be a Daughter, change the atmosphere around them and pull on heaven for the keys for others in their shoes. I am not sure I have ever witnessed the tangible move of the Holy Spirit like that before. These women are the heroes of their family line, they are the ones chosen, called and anointed to change the direction and lead the way for others to follow!
Do you struggle with wanting to do things perfectly? Some personalities are wired towards this bent, while others have been taught only perfect counts. If you can stay in the lane of being HUNGRY instead of perfect, it will bear the fruit you desire because it is about His ability, not yours.
When the twins were in 8th grade, one began to ask me if I would host a group of peers, including a boy’s name I hadn’t heard before. I said no. She asked me again if I would take a group out for pizza. Something didn’t sit right. Again, she begged me if I would gather the group. Finally, I asked why it was so important to her. She said, “I want a boyfriend.” While the door was bound to open eventually and can be a beautiful thing, something didn’t sit right with me. I asked her, “WHY do you want a boyfriend so bad?” and she said, “Because I want to be special to someone.” It was a painful discussion, but I told her no. No way would I allow that door to be open for her unless and until that part of her heart was filled by Jesus first because no boy would be able to fill it. Not now and not later. I explained it would open the door for an appetite that no human could fill. Of course, she was upset and stormed off to her room, where she remained for the better portion of three days. She came out for meals but fumed. I encouraged her to grab her journal and use the tools I have taught her as a daughter of the King. She journaled her heart out page after page of pain seeping through the pages of her deepest desire to be seen and significant. I began to hear worship music from her room, and when she emerged, she thanked me for saying no. I learned such a valuable lesson that we must filter our choices through the question, “Am I doing this as a daughter secure in who I am and therefore can enjoy this, OR am I operating as a spiritual orphan who needs this to feel good about myself?” There is a world of difference. One leads to life and joy, and the other to heartbreak and greater pain.
