IT’S A RELATIONSHIP, NOT A FORMULA

IT’S A RELATIONSHIP, NOT A FORMULA

  • JOURNEY, Kingdom Parenting

IT’S A RELATIONSHIP, NOT A FORMULA

Years ago, someone told me I should write a book about all of the ways you could release the Kingdom through children. Something didn’t sit right with me, and days later, the comment was grinding in my heart. I had to ask God why because if that is what I do, why then writing a book about it was so upsetting to me? I heard Him so clearly when He said that if I were to write a 1, 2, 3 step parenting book about the fruit in MY family, people would attempt to do the steps in their family, hoping for the same fruit, but it wouldn’t work — #1. Their family is different than mine and #2. You can’t bear Kingdom fruit by accomplishing steps. It is a relationship, not a formula. It is a lifestyle, not an event. And so, with that, God gave me a strategy with Let the Children Fly. Instead of attempting to get parents to model their family after MINE. My heart, goal, and passion are to connect YOU to HIM so that you can begin living a lifestyle of Kingdom fruit. I am convinced of one thing – I have found a river of heaven in parenting, and from it has sprung a massive river of life in multiple families across the globe. Families are awakening. My online class, JOURNEY, is designed to lead you to the same river we have found so that your family can bear the fruit it was intended to do as a lifestyle with Him. When you are ready, we are here to help you! Your family is worth investing in.

Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

PARENT REPORT CARD

Do you want to get closer to your child? Spend some alone time with them by taking them out for ice cream or dinner and ask them what is something that you are doing really well in your parenting. Then ask them what is one thing you could improve upon in your parenting. Their answers may just bless and surprise you!

Here’s the deal – you are going to learn one way or another. I would rather hear about ways I could improve while they are still children instead of hurting adults.

SIBLING CONNECTION

Such a great testimony from a mom taking our class as we were talking about sibling connection and how they get their sense of belonging from each other. 

“We had our family meeting, and I explained the loss we experienced in the Garden. We declared joy over our summer and family! We also talked at length about fostering our sense of belonging, security, and worthiness. We made a family hand signal to signify those three attitudes we want to be especially mindful of this summer!”

PARENTING TIP

Teach and practice in the time of peace so that they can use it in their time of need.

HE WORKS

A father in class shares: “This thing is working, man!! Last night our kids got into it; it ended with our daughter crying and son trying to defend himself. I asked him what had happened, and he told me everything that had happened except leaving out what he had done. Instead of continuing to question him for the truth, Holy Spirit told me to tell him to go to his room and ask Jesus what happened. Five minutes later, he came back, and this time he told me the entire story, including his portion of it! Then I asked him what did Jesus say, and he said, ‘Jesus told me to talk to her instead of pushing her and making her fall.’ Yay!”

DOING IT WITH HIM

We do not parent FOR Him, but rather WITH Him! This tiny mental shift releases a floodgate of peace, increases trust, and the ability to relax that He has truly got this and knows what He is doing.

LITTLE MESSENGERS

Don’t refuse the message just because you don’t like the delivery of the messenger. So often, children botch the delivery of what they are trying to tell you. They do it with anger, attitudes, imperfection, and less-than-mature ways, but it doesn’t mean that WHAT they are trying to say is to be ignored. This is one of the reasons why we wrote our HEART SPLINTERS book. To give parents additional help in seeing and hearing what their children are trying to tell them.

Heart Splinters BOOK – Let the Children Fly

WE WROTE A BOOK

The kids and I never set out to write a book. We just told our story over and over, and here we are nearly a decade later with the chapters of our adventures of playing in the Kingdom in a gorgeous magazine-style 130-page book.

JOURNEY is for anyone in the midst of parenting, grand-parenting, or those who will someday become a mother or father. It is about the journey of becoming Sons & Daughters and parenting the next generation out of that place.

Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

HELP THEM

We treat children like they are in blatant sin and punish them when what they really need is HELP. My passion is to empower parents HOW to see beyond the behavior and into what is going on in their hearts. There is hope in parenting our children in peace and authority that reaps a generation of kids who are whole, confident, and secure.

WITH THEM, NOT FOR THEM

Stewarding a child’s heart with God needs some sensitivity. When we lived in California, scores of parents would come to me confused why they sold everything to move halfway around the world only to find their child resisting the things of God. Over time, it became apparent that many of them did it FOR their children, the hope of deeper and greater things, but they failed to do it WITH them, which would have allowed them to walk out their journey and taste and see the Lord’s goodness. Ultimately the children were mad at God for taking away their grandparents, friends, favorite stores, and all things familiar. Knowing this, I have been very careful with my child’s heart when I feel God asking us to obey in a BIG way. The moment I started to realize we might not be staying in Colorado (about a month after arriving), I mentioned it to the kids in question form, “What would you think if God was telling us not to stay in Colorado?” and I was allowing them to get used to the idea. We learned how to steward the question together, often talking and processing different options. It allowed us to dream together (Ellie was convinced God was going to send us to Australia). Lauren and Emma were excited and open from the get-go. They have seen God be faithful, and while they love their friends here, they were ready for God’s adventure, their faith was already built that God is good. Ellie does not like not knowing what to expect. She is empowered with information, so her part of the process was learning to trust God in the dark and when her mind can’t see it for herself. She did a great job of working it out, yet once she went to North Carolina with me and saw it for herself, her sail of faith went up, and she was on board. However, my son was different. He hates change and is super loyal, so he doesn’t like leaving people; it is harder for him. He didn’t want to move to California and then didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to go to Colorado and then didn’t want to leave. I know this about him and attempted to help him process it in stages. We were on day two of our scouting trip, and I could feel a wall in the spirit. It was frustrating. I called a FaceTime family meeting, and it was revealed that Hudson was speaking against the trip. While the girls had their sails of faith up, Hudson had an anchor. We are so connected as a family I could FEEL it 1,000 miles away. I was a little frustrated but knew it was better that I wait to move forward and do it together rather than do it FOR him, or he would blame God for leading me where he didn’t want to go. I finally told him this, “Hudson, I am not asking you to get your heart right to move to North Carolina. I am asking you to process whatever is in the way of being fully surrendered to God so that you are willing to go wherever He leads us.” There is such a difference. He took the time to surrender the things that he was holding onto ABOVE wanting God’s will, and by the time I came home, he met me in the driveway with tears and his blessing to go wherever God was leading us. Doing things FOR our children is kind. Doing things WITH our children allows them to build their faith and trust in God’s goodness.