IT IS TIME!

IT IS TIME!

  • Authority, Christmas, Kingdom Parenting

IT IS TIME!

I love this time of year when we get to reflect on the previous year and gladly welcome the new. It seems every year, there is a deep sense of excitement for what God is doing, but this year (2020) is different. I have been in a six-year journey of contending for my destiny and all that God has given me to do on earth. It would be impossible to describe the resistance and opposition along the way. Some days it was so loud, I had all I could do not to quit just to get relief from it. But deep down I KNEW if I stayed in the game long enough God would see me through and I would come forth not only purified but with greater authority. 

IT’S TIME! It’s time to take back ground that has been lost in families. I get numerous messages each week from parents around the globe being bullied, attacked and held hostage by the enemy. They are overwhelmed, scared and feel powerless to help their children. Issues such as sexual violation, attacks on their gender, divorce, online predators, death, sickness, anger, drugs, tormenting spirit of fear, walls, runaways, disrespect, orphan mindsets, lies, hurts, offenses, bitterness, trauma are attacking many homes. I am passionate that Jesus died for ALL of the keys, and there is nothing we endure on earth that Jesus does not have a solution and answer for but this year feels like a tipping point for me and Let the Children Fly. 

IT’S TIME! It is time to awaken parents to their God-given authority in the family. It is time to stop being bullied in the spiritual realm. It is time to give children the weapons of heaven. It is time to walk in the power Jesus died for. It is time to empower this generation with the power and authority of Christ. It is time to link arms with other parents and destroy the isolation. It is time to rise up and protect our children from the war on their identity. It is time to deal with our own childhood issues so that we do not parent from that place. It is time to stay NO MORE to the sexualization of our children. It is time to raise our voices in our child’s school regarding sexual education. It is time to align parents as Sons and Daughters. It is time to encounter the Father as a household and build stories together.

Who is coming with me? This is the year we are going to defeat the works of the devil in our family room and align our families with His power, love and purpose.

KINGDOM AUTHORITY

My sweet friends empowered their children to take a stand against sickness and release peace over their bodies and homes. Kingdom authority is yours – use it. This builds your child’s personal faith as they get to not only witness but experience God move.

FUNNEL PARENTING

Picture a funnel. Do you give your child so much freedom at an early age and then, as the year’s progress, begin to take away their freedom? Or do you start with smaller freedoms and gradually increase it as they display self-control to be able to use freedom wisely? Oftentimes, parents have this mentality that if they put restrictions on their small child, they are breaking their spirit, harnessing them, and controlling them. I beg to differ. When we allow our children to do whatever they want whenever they want, we are teaching them that the world is open and free. While that may be a perfect world, it is not the reality in which they live. The truth is if they steal, they will go to jail. If they speed, they will pay a fine. If they do not pay taxes, the IRS will knock on their door. The world is full of consequences and models God’s principle of reaping and sowing. There will be a time when you will have to say NO to your child, yet the more you teach them they can have whatever they want whenever they want it, the harder the battle will be for them when reality hits. Let’s flip the funnel upside down and limit their freedom as they have the self-control to manage themselves. We do not allow a one-year-old to climb the stairs because their little legs are not strong enough to carry them. We do not allow a ten-year-old to drive a car because it will create greater harm. The same applies to our parenting. You are not stifling them; you are building them up for success for the long haul.

P.S. Teenagers do not like their freedoms taken away! You will have fewer battles down the road if you start out small and build upon them. Entitlement is a tricky thing to break.

TWO CORE VALUES IN PARENTING

When my children were little, I was so overwhelmed by the parenting philosophies out there. Co-sleeping, crying it out, bottle-feeding, breastfeeding, playing in the dirt, keeping them germ-free, organic, etc. Like any good leader, I needed direction and had none. I was supposed to do something for eighteen years but had no clear vision of what I was doing.

Do you know if you stacked up all of the books available to parents today, it would reach over two miles high? That is a lot of parenting advice. I have come to the conclusion that I have two driving core values in my parenting. #1. Teach my children how to go to their Father and LISTEN to what He has to say. #2. Give my children tools to deal with the hurts, lies, and offenses that come their way. Being connected to Him and being empowered to deal with the enemy’s darts sets them up to handle any and all circumstances life brings their way.  If I can lead them into a lifestyle of knowing their Father and identity, I will have given them the necessary tools to not only survive but FLY.

BABY JESUS

When my children were younger and formulating what Christmas was all about, it was important to me that they got a grasp on the true meaning and not just the presents, food, tree, Santa, etc. I took a Cabbage Patch baby doll, wrapped him in a blue blanket, bought a wooden box and straw from Michael’s, and put together ‘Baby Jesus.’ After we decked the house and trimmed the tree, I sat them down and explained the true meaning of what we are celebrating. I brought out ‘Baby Jesus’ and told the kids that we treat Him with the utmost respect. He is indeed a gift that should be received with thanks, gratitude, appreciation, honor, and respect. They would ask to hold Him, take turns caring for Him, and would often leave their toys and notes by His manger. One year, I even heard one of them go to ‘Baby Jesus’ and ask for forgiveness for being mean. I had no idea that years later this would be their most memorable part. He is still under our tree today!

Christmas – Meeting Baby Jesus! – YouTube

THOUGHTS OF DEATH

Moms and Dads, we have some important work to do today. I was on a prayer call with some mama bears and God had me go after this hard with them. A few messaged me immediately afterwards saying this was for their child.

There is a spirit of hopelessness, death, and suicide being released in waves to the Body of Christ in this hour. Many adults have heard the whisper themselves, catching them off guard.

It is one thing to have a mature adult brain and hear that spirit whisper lies of hopelessness, and it is another to be a child with a brain that isn’t fully developed to try and process what they are hearing. Children naturally assume anything they hear inside their head is them when in reality, part of it can be a spirit.

Yes, some children are so overwhelmed by life, lack of coping skills, and the trauma they have endured that they are partnering with death as a way to escape. They need legitimate help and care as they process their pain.

That is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about a demonic spirit of death that has whispered an invitation to end life. I am talking about helping children discern that this spirit is not them. I am talking about the enemy’s lies in this hour to get people to partner with him in his agenda to take us off course.

I want to give you the steps to help them. They need to know you are there to help them fight this lying spirit off of them.

First, confess to Jesus if you have heard, entertained, or come under the power of this lie-based invitation to end it. “Jesus, I confess that I have…”

Second, break agreement with it. “I break agreement with the lie of suicide. I break its hold on me and influence over me in Jesus’ name.”

Third, invite Holy Spirit to come and fill your mind, body, and spirit with His peace. Ask Him to wash your mind, eyes, ears, and words with His truth. Let Him saturate you with His perfect love.

I encourage you to partner with Holy Spirit on how to move forward with your child. I suggest doing this 1:1 or as a family meeting.

You don’t have to start out using the words suicide, death, or killing yourself. You can approach it more gently.

Be led by the Holy Spirit in the conversation. He will guide you as you yield to Him.

I suggest filling their love tanks first and affirming your love and care for them. I would use language such as, “Sweetie, some people are sharing that they just feel like life isn’t worth it anymore, or they don’t want to be around anymore. Have you ever thought that or felt that? It is okay if you have and you haven’t done anything wrong, but I want to help you with that if you have.”

Just speaking about it loosens the enemy’s grip. You can invite them to write you a letter if they need to share anything with you but don’t feel comfortable telling you directly.

If a child admits they have heard the thoughts to harm themselves, I encourage you to #1. Keep your peace. #2. Don’t assume they are moving into acting on it. There is a difference between being suicidal and hearing the lies about it. #3. They are overcoming and defeating it by confessing it. Praise them for being honest and bringing it into the light. Ask them, “I am sure hearing that thought to harm yourself was scary. Is that something you desire to do, or was it an unwanted thought?”

If they admit they desire to act on it, it is time to get them additional direct help. If they express it was an unwanted thought, the following will be helpful.

Explain to them the difference between throwing up and being sneezed on. Throwing up is something sick inside of you that needs to get out. But being sneezed on is being slimed by someone else who is sick. Hearing a random unwanted thought is being sneezed upon. It is important to realize it is coming ON you and not from WITHIN you.

You can confidently speak when you tell them it wasn’t from Jesus, and therefore they can reject it. Read together 2 Corinthians 10:5-7 – “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” Tell them they can cast down that thought.

You cast it down by confessing it, declaring it is a lie and that you do not accept it, telling it to go, and asking Jesus to fight for you.

Moms and Dads, I would pray over your children, ask for a hedge of protection, and invite the angels to shield them from this demonic spirit. This is part of your spiritual covering over them.

Give your child permission to come and tattle-tell on the enemy when they hear these thoughts and that you will always help them win the battle.

This one stirs my heart, and I want you to know that there is hope and VICTORY in the name of Jesus.

ORPHAN VS. KINGDOM PARENTING

God created us to be fully alive, deeply accepted, and belong completely. The aftermath of the fall is that man became a spiritual orphan separated from God and wandered around life, feeling profound feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and isolation. The Good News is that Jesus came to restore us back to that place of deep security with the Father. We can accept Christ yet still be wandering like an orphan striving, begging, and doing life on our own. Imagine a child digging through the dump fending for themselves and meeting their needs for food and clothing all on their own day in and day out with no rest in sight. Now picture a palace where the table is always set, and there is a room with your name on it. When we become Christians, we get the honor of living in the palace, yet some enjoy the view and go back to the dump laboring daily to meet their needs. It is impossible to raise a child as a Son/Daughter in God’s Kingdom when you occupy the dump yourself. If you want to raise them in the palace, you have to enter yourself.

Orphan Parenting is when we parent our children from the place of isolation, abandonment, self-protection, striving, loneliness, self-sufficiency, and lack. We are modeling to our children how to live like an orphan, not from Kingdom reality. 

Kingdom Parenting stems from a confidence that you are more than enough and God is doing a good work in YOU; therefore, there is no need to compare yourself to others. You are fully aware of the journey and process the Father has you on because you are intimately walking it out with Him, and you trust Him that He knows best. 

The following list is NOT a pass/fail. It is the JOURNEY of becoming more and more like Him. Everyone starts out as an orphan, and we will spend the rest of our days on earth discovering, realizing, and embracing the love of our Father. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans feel insecure about themselves, their performance, and their worth. They are competitive with others internally and are jealous of others’ success because it reminds them of their lack. 

Kingdom Parenting – Sons/Daughters know they are loved and, out of that place, feel deeply secure to take risks, adventure out, and explore new things. When they see someone else gain what they desire, it gives them hope for what is available. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans cannot rest because they have to constantly be doing ‘good’ in order to feel worthy of His love. They are agitated when children are joyful and carefree because they do not feel they have the right to relax. 

Kingdom Parenting – Sons/Daughters are able to experience the Father’s pleasure over them even when they are resting and are able to be at peace knowing He is well pleased with who they are, not just what they do. They welcome the joy children release. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans feel a gaping hole in their heart that is painful. They strive to fill it with outside sources (shopping, alcohol, porn, social media, etc.), but it only leaves the hole bigger. They often get annoyed with the confidence of a child who operates without the gaping hole. 

Kingdom Parenting – Sons/Daughters are strengthened by intimacy as they have allowed Jesus access to the aches and pains in their hearts, which position them on solid and secure ground.

Orphan Parenting – Orphans have a deep drive for success, but with the goal of feeling worthy or good enough. It puts them in the driver’s seat of their lives at all costs. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters are confident in the plans God has for them and are led by the Holy Spirit to lead them on a life adventure that is full of favor, open doors, and eternal fruit. Their definition of success is measured by obedience, not popularity, ‘likes,’ or bank accounts. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans use people for their gain and advancement. They see people as stepping stones to their own agenda. They see people as an opportunity to network. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters serve those around them to build them up, following Christ’s example to serve and have a high value on connection. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans are annoyed by children and see them as a hindrance to their agenda who drain them of their time, energy, and resources. They respond with dominance, fear, and shame to control the child’s behavior to meet their agenda. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters understand the foolishness and immaturity of a child and respond with love and healthy authority. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans are often angry and full of rage out of ongoing fear that they cannot control the world around them. They have high levels of anxiety and worry. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters are confident that their Father is in control of all things and has the ability to work all things out for their good. Because their circumstance does not define them, they are able to respond in peace and not react. 

Orphan Parenting – An orphan only feels as good about themselves as their outward appearance, clothing, number of ‘likes,’ material possessions, etc., allow. Orphans are always the first to get the latest trend and are constantly looking for praise and applause from others. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters are deeply affirmed by the Creator of the universe that He has created them to be unique and have immeasurable value to Him. They are secure and confident because of their relationship and intimacy with Him. 

The ONLY way to cease acting like an orphan is to embrace the love of the Father and accept the invitation to act like a Son and Daughter. It’s already been paid for. All you have to do is receive.

PURSUING YOUR SON’S HEART

How have I pursued his heart over the years? Teaching him godly character, explaining on his level what connection looks like, allowing him space but not isolation, never letting the sun go down in anger or conflict, speaking his love language daily, calling out tones and attitudes, intentionally restoring the joy chemicals in his brain, hugging him, telling him I love him in words other than “I love you”, speaking over him who he is called to be, prophesying over his future, not tolerating slammed doors or storming off, teaching him how to respect me in actions and speech, limiting the number of video games, not allowing violence to entertain him, role-playing how to interact with his sisters when he is upset, fighting in the spirit realm over him, speaking over his future success – “You are going to be…”, being aware when there are emotional or relational walls, telling him the fruit he will bear with his choices (good or bad), helping him see how good connection feels and how it is worth the work it takes!

DON’T CODDLE SPIRITS

If a child came to me in the middle of the night terrified of a bad dream, I would surely invite them into bed with me, and I would cover and comfort them in their fear. HOWEVER, the next morning I would march them back into their room to take authority over the fear that robbed them (and me) of sleep and chased them out of their room. I would empower them on what to do when fear knocked again. It’s okay if they don’t get it right away, but I would want to strengthen their authority over the spirit. If I coddle them every time the spirit of fear comes, I am actually INCREASING the fear in their lives. They will not have victory in this area or have the tools for when it shows up again. Imagine it shows up on the playground or while on a sleepover, and you are not there to comfort them. We don’t need to teach our children about the demonic, but when it comes, I surely want to use that as an opportunity to teach them about their authority over it. This is why we MUST operate in the gift of discerning spirits because if we fail to use the right tool, we are actually strengthening it in our lives. Spirit issues are resolved with our God-given authority through the blood of Christ. We do not manage, comfort, or coddle demonic spirits.

ARREST IT

A mom shares: “My oldest daughter (6) has been having nightmares every single night for months, and last night I used your illustration about the police officer and taking authority to tell fear to leave. Holy Spirit prompted me to tell jealousy to leave. And I saw my daughter get triggered and start to cringe. She couldn’t keep it together. I told her she could do it, and it was a long process of telling her that jealousy has been a bad friend to her since she was 3 (all from Holy Spirit!), and she just nodded in agreement but couldn’t speak it with her mouth. There were tears and frustration and agony from her. It was so deep. We ended the night with her finally repeating after me to break her friendship with jealousy and declaring that her new friend was thankfulness. It was such a powerful moment. That night, she had no nightmares and slept through the night!! My daughter is not a ‘jealous’ type of girl. One would not look at her actions and think that’s what she struggles with. She is thoughtful, sweet, and kind. But God knows what’s going on!”