I GOT MY DAUGHTER BACK

I GOT MY DAUGHTER BACK

  • Authority, Family Circle

I GOT MY DAUGHTER BACK

A dad approached me and asked for help with his teen daughter, who was saying really mean things to him, like, “I hate you,” “You are fat,” “No one likes you.” I asked what the consequences were for a child to speak to an adult like that, and there were none other than letting her know his heart was hurt. I encouraged him to learn how to speak firmly but lovingly to draw a line in the sand with her. NO CHILD FEELS GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES speaking to their father that way. He is indirectly teaching her that this is how you treat men, your boss, and those in authority. While her behavior may appear strong, she is actually feeling insecure. A week later, he told me the glorious story of how he lovingly but firmly told her that he would no longer tolerate those words, and she pushed back by accusing him of something he did not do. He was firm in speaking the truth to her, and freedom came to her heart. He laughed, telling me how easy and light the relationship had been since then. When the dad got back in his proper place of authority and covering, the LIE in her heart was able to come out. Together they dealt with it, and connection and peace reigned again. Fearing our children is not in our job description. They do not set the tone in the home, parents do.

COMPASSION & VALIDATION

How many of your children, especially younger ones, are having unusual meltdowns and not wanting to be away from you? While this can be rooted in many things, including normal development, I am hearing so many parents reporting this issue, and I think it has more to do with the effects of C-19. First, there is so much in the atmosphere. While we are getting stronger and more resilient, I sometimes walk into a store and feel so gripped with anxiety (which is not coming from me). I leave and feel better. This is being released from others. Those in charge of your children (teachers, friends, in-laws, sitters, church, etc.) are releasing their emotions, and children can pick up on it. Keep going after walking in authority over the fear and releasing peace. Second, children hear that C-19 causes death and their minds naturally worry if that will happen to them or their parents. When you have to leave, assure them you are okay, that you will return, and they are safe. When a child has a meltdown, they only need TWO things – compassion and validation. CV medicine, as I like to call it. Then after they feel safe again and are calmed back down, talk about ways to empower them and increase their capacity to handle it differently the next time.

SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY

When my kids come home with stories about how someone was unkind, rude, or disrespectful, we walk through forgiveness and then release the opposite back to them in the spiritual realm. You can’t be a victim when you are partnering with the Creator of the universe.

Homework – Call a family meeting and ask your children what would happen if you walked into the middle of a busy street and held up your hand. Nothing would probably happen. Next, ask what would happen if a police officer walked in the middle of a busy street and put up his hand. Because of his badge, he has authority. Not only that, but all of the courts back him up. We get to be police officers in the spiritual realm because of the badge of Jesus, and all of heaven backs us up. We get to tie up the bad and then unleash all the good stuff. 

JOHN 10:10

I have a friend whose teen daughter is fighting for her life after harming herself. I have another friend whose teen daughter ran away, and they don’t know where she is. I have another friend with a teen son addicted to porn. Another friend has a daughter in a psych ward. The one thing they all have in common is that they all passionately love Jesus. The battle for our children is real. We MUST equip our children with heaven’s tools to deal with hurts, lies, and offenses. As believers, we may experience the beginning of John 10:10, but we get to camp out in the last part! “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

THE ENEMY IS UNDER YOUR FEET

I have three teen girls – do you know what that means? It means that I often get a headache from their discovery of perfume. We go to a store and walk out, smelling like a symphony of competing smells demanding my senses. The actual perfume bottle was left sitting on a counter miles away from us, but the smell traveled with us. During family devotions, we talked about our authority and how it doesn’t always feel like we are in the light or powerful. In fact, some days, it feels like there is little hope to cling to and like the enemy has scored too many touchdowns to turn the game around. Regardless of what it feels like, that is NOT what the world’s Creator has stated in His word. It says, “Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, ‘Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.’ And He said to them, ‘I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you’” (Luke 10:17-19).

I got this word picture of the perfume and shared it with the kids. The perfume bottle represents the enemy, and the bottle IS under my feet, but the smell rises to my nose, making me feel overpowered by it. We cannot alter God’s Word just because of what we feel, smell, or experience. Over means extending directly upward from and at a higher level or layer than. Under means at a lower level than. Do not mistake who is OVER and who is UNDER.

It is time for many to stop letting their noses be their guide. If God says the enemy is under your feet, then that means he is under your feet TODAY! Now go teach this word picture to your children!

THE DEVIL IS NOT INNOCENT

Do you think the ouija board is just innocent child’s play? It is NOT!

I delivered a young mom from a demonic spirit from playing the game. She is about to graduate from an 18-month rehab program and had great fears about a previous boyfriend threatening her once she is out. We talked about how we invite what we fear and the need to close that door. I was about to help her with that when I had this strong spirit of witchcraft come over me. I sensed God had me ask her when was the first time she felt unprotected. When she was 4 years old, she was at a friend’s house who introduced her to the ouija board and from that moment on, she felt a presence, almost like a protective presence. It was a spirit that was invited in to ‘parent’ her. Her dad was a workaholic and always busy, which created a deep longing in her. The sad thing is that SHE invited the spirit in through the game. All these years, this spirit has manipulated and influenced her all the way to an abusive relationship with a very unsafe man that she never felt like she could get free from. I am happy to report that not only did she get SET FREE from that ‘fake parent,’ but she got activated in her gift of discernment.

Jesus, You are so so so good! Set the captives free!

PRIORITIZE THE BIG STUFF FIRST

Grab a jar/bowl, sand (or small pebbles), and larger rocks. 

Call a FAMILY MEETING and talk to the children about Matthew 6:33 – “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” What does this mean exactly? 

Take the jar/bowl and explain how their capacity of time is given in each 24-hour period. Part of their time is spent sleeping, eating, doing homework, etc. Make a list of each thing that demands their time every day and then pour a little sand into the jar representing each thing. Brushing teeth… add a little sprinkle of sand into the jar. Taking out the trash… add a little sprinkle of sand into the jar, etc. 

Now take some larger rocks and explain how that represents seeking God such as reading the Word, praying, declaring His truth, etc. The larger rock no longer fits because they have filled up their jar with the smaller things.

Dump the jar out and put the larger rocks in FIRST and then add the sprinkles of sand which will make its way around the rock, that way everything fits in the jar in the proper order, and no one can say at the end of the day they ran out of room (time) because they put the important thing in first.

DO NOT ABDICATE YOUR THRONE

 In January 1936, the King of England died. Following royal protocol, his eldest son assumed the throne, becoming King Edward the Eighth. But in December of that same year, only months into his reign, King Edward stunned the nation when he formally abdicated the country’s throne and the many benefits of royalty. What is especially alarming is the phrasing of the official decree, which ended in these haunting words: “I, Edward the Eighth … renounce the Throne for Myself and for My descendants.” Imagine. With one stroke of the pen, this man sealed his fate and the fate of his children and grandchildren for generations into the future.

As parents, we, too, occupy a throne in the sense that God has given us a position of authority in our kids’ lives. We mustn’t renounce that influence. Children don’t need us to be their friends – someone telling them what they want to hear. They need a parent – an authority figure willing to speak the truth into their lives. Of course, we should listen to our children and consider their views carefully, but our kids should not be allowed to run the home. That’s our God-given responsibility. So, take the lesson of King Edward to heart. Abdicating your authority could risk your kids’ future for generations to come. 

BLOW IT OUT

From 2018 when wildfires broke out in Redding, CA:

Friends, around noon today, a fire that could be seen all around broke out. It is fast-moving as we have high winds today. Our land is dry, and we need this fire to be out. They have already evacuated some and moved the previous evacuation center (which is down the road from us). Grab your kids, tell them there is a fire that needs to be blown out, and prophetically have them blow and declare that this fire will be stopped in Jesus’ name.

THAT’S A LIE

When I hear a child speak a lie about themselves (I am not smart enough, I am slow, I can never figure this out, etc.), I simply tell them that they are partnering with something from God’s enemy. Do they want to continue to partner with that (they do have free will), or do they want to throw that one out? Then, I told them they could kick out or throw out whatever thoughts came to their mind that wasn’t of God. Hudson, who was only four then, literally went to the front door and motioned like he was kicking something out before slamming the door. Yeah, like that! Kids need to be taught that not every thought that crosses their mind is theirs, and they can be empowered to say NO!

DESENSITIZING

No man can do the things that terrorists do without intentional grooming. They are so DE-sensitized to the brutality that the real thing no longer upsets them. They have been exposed to such darkness, most likely from a very early age. It is awful what is happening in the world through them, but what is brewing so deep within me is that God is STILL bigger. He STILL sits on His throne and hasn’t budged. God is STILL the Alpha and Omega. The enemy knows that equipping children at a young age is the best weapon they have as they will grow up being mighty weapons of mass destruction. But do WE know that? Do we get how powerful it is when children are given spiritual tools at a young age? Do we really have more fear than faith? Do we not see the importance of raising up an army of children who know how to hear His voice and act accordingly? It is like the enemy says, “Boo!” and we all jump in fear. NO! We WILL do our part to teach, train, and equip our children to be the warriors in the world God has called them to be. It is our job. We are the generals in God’s army, and the family is our training ground. My intent is not to instill fear or partner with that ugly religious spirit but to share that something so deep and so wildly violent is bubbling within me. I want more! I want more families to be intentional about their children! I want YOU to embrace all that God has for you and your family. I burn for more. I yearn that we, the Bride, all of us, would know that there is NO weapon formed against us that shall prosper but that WE will march forth and walk in victory because God Himself is leading us. I want your connection with your children to remain intact so that they are spared from the countless years of agony we endured. I want for them to know how amazing and powerful they are because you speak it over them daily. I want them to know, like second nature, how to go to Papa God and discuss the burdens of their heart with Him directly. Ah, that the children would be trained and equipped by intentional parents who do not partner with feelings of inadequacy but know themselves who they are. Oh, I burn for this. Yes, the enemy is doing many un-fun things in our world right now but let them wait and see what this generation is about to do. They will rise up and flip atmospheres; they will say NO with ease to the false comforts of the world. They will hinder the pornography, alcohol, and drug markets simply because they have no need for it. They will walk in confidence and assurance. They will honor adults for the wisdom they possess and seek their counsel. They will discern the fear for what it is and laugh at it. They will grab hold of the hurts, lies, and offenses and apply the tools they have been taught to work through them, so they don’t become adult-sized woundedness. They will walk into the darkest of situations and turn on the LIGHT! They will praise where there is weeping, and they will heal where there is sickness. They will love where there is brokenness. They will hold their places, and all of heaven will back them up. Your labor in equipping your children is not unseen. Ask Jesus to show you what it means to Him! I believe in you and am so honored that we get to link arms one family at a time!