HOW TO DISCIPLINE

HOW TO DISCIPLINE

Testimony from a mom in class: “God wants me to ask HIM how to discipline! I have been having a hard time with my oldest (just turned 2) because she is the child that is so very different from me. All of her giftings and personality are beautiful and breathtaking, but sometimes I just feel like she and I are on different planets, and I don’t know how to deal with her. I have been wallowing in guilt and shame the last month because she has gone full-on with testing boundaries, telling me no, and throwing temper tantrums. In these moments, sadly, I had been losing my temper and punishing her by yelling, spanking, putting her in her room, and being angry with her. I would know it was wrong immediately afterward, cry and apologize to her, ask for her forgiveness, and we would hug and go on with our day, but the shame I felt from reacting poorly was eating away at me. I asked Holy Spirit to help me, and I hadn’t been losing my temper or spanking her angrily, but still not having a good time with her outbursts. I was reading the teaching one morning when I started to become frustrated with my daughter because every time I went into the kitchen, she started crying and screaming and getting between me and the cabinets, trying to push me over. When I got down on her level to try to talk to her, she again nearly pushed me over. Unhappy with her behavior and physicality, I whisked her off to her room and told her, ‘It’s not okay to push Mommy and treat me this way!’ Then I felt that nudge to do something different, what Lisa had been talking about. So I stopped and prayed, ‘Holy Spirit, can You come and show us what’s going on?’ After a minute, I asked her if He had shown her what was wrong, and she nodded her head yes. Since she doesn’t speak in sentences yet, I asked Holy Spirit what happened, and He reminded me that my husband always cooks with her when he’s home. He has been working out of town for a month and is only home on the weekends, and she was missing her daddy. I asked her if she missed her daddy and big crocodile tears flowed silently down her cheeks as she nodded yes and buried her head in my shoulder. After we had our cry and went back to playing, she was fine and didn’t have any problems. It felt like such a victory to go from the frustration and anger I’ve had in recent weeks to releasing her in power to get her emotions out and have a healthy relationship for the rest of our day!”

JESUS IS A LIFELINE!!

I have said for years the greatest thing a parent can do is teach their children from an early age that Jesus cares and has things to say to them in their time of need. A mom in our online mentorship class wrote to me that two days earlier, she had taught her children how to hear God speaking to them. Shortly after that, her daughter was approached by a male telling her to touch him. She knew in her spirit it was wrong but didn’t know what to do. She saw in her mind Jesus telling her to RUN! So, she did what her Father told her, and she RAN away. If you do not know how to teach your children how to hear God join our JOURNEY class, and I will teach you.

Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

CONTROL-BASED PARENTING

I received this message from a mom taking our class. I want you to see how each of these parts are interwoven and connected. God is so good to show her what was the root of her control-based parenting. 

“Wow, I had my late night turn out so different than planned. I have followed the LTCF Facebook page and have been trying to emulate the connection parenting versus my normal controlling/disciplining parenting. I have realized how much I operate under a religious spirit and definitely want freedom from that! That revelation in itself has been so eye-opening and humbling. After I went through some forgiveness with my parents for not emulating connection (something my father still doesn’t grasp), I asked Jesus what He wanted to give me in return. As I gave my jar to Jesus, I waited in expectation for a sweet, tangible picture to come about. And the waiting got a little long for my comfort zone, so I asked again what He was showing me! Immediately I heard COMPANIONSHIP as I looked at Jesus standing close, smiling at me. I heard, ‘You are not alone, Tiffany. Let’s play.’ Immediately my stomach filled with this gaping grief, and I began to wail as a deep pain I had not known was there surfaced. The more I allowed myself to cry, the more I got clarity of a deep sense of loneliness that I believe had been there all my life and I was totally unaware of! I sat in this place for a while and felt some revelation come. I have been struggling with a wall that comes up between my oldest son (6 years old) and me these last two years. I have not been able to pinpoint it, and it has grieved my heart so much. Its presence had gotten stronger over the past year with the birth of our second son, a definite ‘world changer’ personality. I have never known how to address ‘loneliness,’ and I am so encouraged that the Lord surfaced it in my heart because I believe He revealed to me that it is something that has burdened my oldest son’s heart and has driven a wedge between his and I’s attempts at connection. I am not fully certain what’s next, but I am hungry to seek that out.”

PERFECT FATHER

It was never about you striving to be perfect but about showing them the One who is. Look at the revelation this mom had while taking our online JOURNEY class.

“I love that I can use my blunders to point my kids toward Jesus!!”

SPANKING

I was a part of an amazing single group in my 20s. One of the guys talked about spanking his (future) children and how his parents modeled it in such an honoring way. I argued that it was wrong, and we had an hour-long debate. He opened me up to a world where parents can actually spank in love without losing their temper. It wasn’t to harm the child; it was to help guide them. I want to take a moment and talk to those who were like me and argued that it was wrong. When someone brings up spanking, what is happening in your heart? Are you anxious? Nervous? Scared? I want to circle that place and zoom in on it. My goal isn’t to get you to spank. My goal is for you to see the unrest in your heart because it will affect your ability to walk in the authority you are given. For me, it wasn’t about the actual act of spanking as much as it was the fear of hurting my child and fear that my child would resent me like I did my parents for their harsh parenting. Unless and until that is resolved, I will be unbalanced in my ability to parent my children well. I would be parenting them out of fear rather than authority. When children learn they are the ones with the power, it leaves them feeling insecure, which only increases their need to be strong. It does not matter how strong they appear; they are not orphans. The safest place for their mind, body, and spirit is under your authority and covering. Yes, many of you have strong-willed children. It is your responsibility as a parent to help them submit their will to your authority, but if you have an ongoing fear about using authority, you will only lead your family to the other side of the pendulum. Let’s find Jesus in the middle and walk in alignment with Him.

HeartWork – Go back to the place of anxiety and unrest and ask, “Jesus, will You please show me what I am afraid of in disciplining my child?” Sit with Him for a moment and allow Him to minister to that part of your heart.

AUTHORITY OVER DARKNESS

This is the core purpose of Let the Children Fly. A mom taking our online JOURNEY class wrote: “I wish I’d been affirmed and taught in this way as a child. I think it would’ve made all the difference in my life, knowing and asserting my authority over darkness instead of worrying about it and avoiding it.” It is not too late for you to come and learn!

CONNECTION

On the second day of our online Kingdom parenting class, we talk about CONNECTION. I asked if their parents saw the value in them. There are always two camps. Those who were raised in dysfunctional homes and those whose parents tucked them in at night, took them to Disney, showered them with love and attention, provided for them, and enjoyed them. But there was always a BUT… Since I was in the first camp, this bothered me. Whenever day two would come around, I KNEW what the answers would be, and I would brace myself. Seriously, how can you have a “BUT…” when your parents were there for you, loved you, and were involved in your world? That is until Jesus spoke. He told me that I was becoming judgmental of those who claimed to have a great childhood and still confessed something was missing. Because it was HIM who put that void there. NO child is wired to be 100% filled by their mom and dad. There are some places in our hearts that are reserved for Him. This is great news. If Jesus is ultimately who our children need to be connected with in order to be whole, then maybe 18 years of parenting is less about us and should be more about Him! Even if you were perfect, it would not be enough, so let’s stop trying (and feeling guilty about it when we are not) and usher our children to the only perfect Parent.

HE DIDN’T LOOK AT HER HEART

In today’s culture, there is no way a child can obtain this deep wisdom unless they have been instructed and taught. 

Testimony from a mom in class: “A conversation tonight: KK asked me, ‘Mom, why did Cinderella’s dad marry twice?’ I said, ‘Because his first wife died.’ KK replied, ‘He didn’t look carefully the second time. His second wife is not good. He only looked at how pretty she was. Not at her heart.’ Wow.”

NOT JUST FOR PARENTS

One of my spiritual daughters shared this sweet testimony of ministering to a young gal. Our JOURNEY class is not just for loving your children but all of His children. 

“Hi Lisa, here is a testimony I wanted to share with you. The lessons I have learned through Let the Children fly helped me lead her to Christ for this healing. This girl is not a mom yet and is struggling with some insecurities and lies that she believes. So I walked her through writing down those lies and tearing them up, stomping on them, rejecting the lies, and how to instead accept God’s truths, as you taught me in the JOURNEY class. Here is her testimony on what that did for her: ‘Hey! So I finally had the guts to do it last night. I wrote down all the lies and things that kept hurting me in my mind and flushed them down the toilet. It came out to be about six pages worth of crap. It took me a while to get the courage to do it. The crazy part is that I wrote it in a red marker, and about halfway through ripping it, I realized that red represented Jesus’ blood. I was just choosing a marker, and I chose the red one. I was praying while doing it. I feel so much better now like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can accomplish and do what I am called to do now. It sounds cheesy, but I feel free now and confident in myself and the Lord. It’s already been a blessing that He took those lies and stomped on them! I’m so excited to live! To truly live freely! No more bondage!’”

JESUS IS ALL YOU NEED

I wrapped up six weeks of classes at the local rescue mission for moms with drug and alcohol addictions in an 18-month program. Let me tell you – when Jesus is all you got; He becomes all you need. These ladies are so precious, and the transformation was visible. They shared stories of how they are learning to partner with God in their parenting. So many reported that the entire house is calmer, and the kids are much more at peace. They are learning to see, really see, their children for the first time, and the fruit has been incredible. Jesus, you are so amazing, and I am so thankful I know you and get to tell others about you.

SEEDS PLANTED

Testimony from a mom who took our online Kingdom parenting class years ago. What I love about this is that God was putting seeds deep inside of her when her children were so little and grew them in His timing for her time of need. 

She shared: “In the middle of taking your class, I didn’t know how I could use the tools you taught at the time, as they were just two and three years old. But now that they are four and five, I am starting to see the breakthroughs happen, and it’s such a blessing to be able to touch the heart splinters and have Jesus take care of them now than years from now. Lisa, thank you for choosing Jesus when it felt like all hope was lost many years ago!!!! I am a work in progress, but I am so grateful for your ministry!!!”