HOLY SPIRIT IS YOUR FRIEND #1

HOLY SPIRIT IS YOUR FRIEND #1

I had two significant encounters that changed my relationship with Holy Spirit. Here is the first one.

When I became a solo parent, there was a wide and deep gamut of emotions to process. I would go into my closet and let it out. I could cry (even yell), and the kids would not be able to hear me. It was my safe place. My mentor gave me two books to read, and I would wake up early and go into my closet. Something began to yearn deep within me for more of Him. The former was great, but I was dying for more. It felt like survival. I had to have more of Him. I did not want the wacky, weird, even embarrassing Spirit that made my heart feel so unsafe and uncomfortable, but I was growing in my unquenchable hunger for Him, and at that point, my hunger was forcing my guard down. Hungry people do whatever it takes to be fed, even break down mental barriers that have been erected to keep them ‘safe.’ Within six months of losing my husband, my dad died, and two weeks later, my stepdad died. I was in full-blown grief over the significant men in my life and, at the same time, developed a headache that would not cease. It felt like a constant brain freeze from eating something cold too fast; nothing would reduce the pulsating pain. This went on for three months straight. People kept telling me it was just stress due to my profound grief, but deep down, I knew I had better coping skills than that. Despite the pain, I managed to drive the kids from CO to MN by myself for my dad’s funeral, and weeks later, I even took them to the mountain for our annual family getaway, but all I could do was lay on the bunk bed, unable to move. Finally, one night, I told the kids to lie down on Mommy’s floor and sleep. I could not help them get their PJs on or brush their teeth. I put my head on the pillow that night, fully confident I would die of my brain blowing up. The pain was unbearable. Hours later, I was rushed by a friend to the ER, where they discovered my carotid artery was torn. It was nothing short of a miracle that I held together for three long months walking around with a ripped artery. I was transferred to ICU and was told a simple sneeze could severely tear the artery completely. I was at high risk for a stroke or aneurysm. I spent a very scary few weeks maneuvering through healing for both my broken body and heart. I was still so sick and weak after being released from the hospital that my friends thought it best to keep the kids for a bit longer to give me time to heal. I was assigned a home health nurse because I kept fainting and passing out whenever I would stand up. One afternoon, I sat dazed on the couch, wanting to get up to make myself something to eat, but too weak to move. It was hours before my nurse arrived, yet I knew I risked passing out again if I got up. I was trapped in my body. While my heart was being stretched beyond its capacity with grief, my body was also being pushed to the limits. I was overwhelmed by my state and so desperately wanted to be healed. I missed my children (I had not been with them for over a month) and felt isolation so deep it was paralyzing. I was extremely sick and powerless to take care of my basic needs. It is hard to describe the weakness of my mind, body, and spirit at that moment. It felt like death.

Out of nowhere, I began to see events unfold. This was not just in my mind; it was as if it was really happening, and I was watching it like a movie. I saw a girl on a hospital bed and emergency workers rushing around her. They were running and racing the hospital gurney down the hall (again, I was watching this as if they were really doing it). There was seriousness and panic in the air. The girl on the hospital bed was me, and suddenly they stopped and placed a white sheet over her. I cannot fully explain what happened next, but I stood up and dropped to my knees. It was like my face could not get low enough to the ground, and words began to flow out of my mouth. It was as if I was speaking from the depth of my toes. I did not understand what I was saying, yet I knew I was saying something. It was forceful, and while I was aware I could stop it at any time and felt ‘in control,’ it was so powerful and moved without my effort or help that I did not want to interrupt it. It went on for a good five minutes, and then it was like it was over. I sat up stunned, with my face and hair completely soaked. I was a bit bewildered by what I had just experienced but realized I felt physically different. I felt like me again and felt strong for the first time in months. I had absolutely no grid for what just happened. I called my mentor, fully convinced I may have just lost my mind. She began to laugh and said with much joy, “Oh Lisa, you just had your first vision and spoke in a prayer language. Lisa, that was Holy Spirit!!!!” I believe the vision was Holy Spirit alerting me that a spirit of death was coming to me, and He gave me a language to pray against it. My mind did not understand it, but my spirit did. That encounter left me speechless for months. Was that the odd, wacky, and uncomfortable Spirit I saw touching others? Suddenly to have my own experience changed everything. I had to have more of Him. My hunger became almost excruciating to steward. My biggest prayer from that moment on was, “More, Lord, MORE.” Holy Spirit knew my journey and knew why I was so leery of Him, yet He also knew my deepest desire could only be filled and satisfied by Him. He knew I had a calling on my life that would be to introduce scores of people around the globe to Him, but I first had to experience Him, and He knew it had to happen in a way that came through my need, not my intellectual knowledge as that was shut down to Him.

P.S. I wept writing that. I cannot imagine my life without Holy Spirit. I think of the pages and pages and pages of testimonies of ways He has shown up, revealed truth, parented the kids, opened doors, brought me comfort, healing, and joy, and been there for me. What about you? Are you stuck in the place of being hungry for more of Him but leery of Holy Spirit? Do you need an encounter with Him that reveals who He really is? Cry out and tell Him. It’s okay to acknowledge your weariness, concern, and doubt. Confess your trust and faith in Him, even when you do not have it all figured out yet. More Lord, MORE! 

GOD IS FUN

I hear this all the time – “I believe God is good and loves people, but I don’t think of Him as this fun God. I grew up with a picture that God is always very serious. His Kingdom is serious in that it’s life-changing, but the idea of playing and engaging with Him seems foreign.”

If this is your view of God, I want to invite you to sit with Jesus, His Son. Ask Him, “Jesus, will You please give me a picture of the FUN side of Your Father?” You might want to set an alarm on your phone and ask Jesus to introduce you to this part of His Father every day until you can begin to see and experience this part of YOUR Father, too. Yes, God is Almighty and serious and powerful, but He is also the most fun-loving, tender, and engaged Father.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW?

I encourage you to set an alarm on your phone, and every time it goes off, no matter where you are and what you are doing, ask yourself, “Jesus, how do You feel about me right now?” You will be surprised by what He has to say at that very moment.

HE IS FOR YOU

I was reading a book and felt an invitation to ask Father God, “Are You mad at me?” My mind knows He is not, but my heart needed to hear it. I then asked Jesus and the Holy Spirit the same question. I was undone by their responses of love, grace, and tenderness to me. Oh, do we ever have a fortress around us in our time of need. It’s okay to need to ask Him to show you His truth.

SONS & DAUGHTERS

We can believe in Jesus yet remain outside the palace and act like an orphan striving and begging to have their needs met. A great question to ask in any given situation is, “Jesus, what would an orphan do in this situation? How would a Son/Daughter of the King respond?”

PERFECT PRESSURE

In four different parent coaching sessions, the theme was moms partnering with profound pressure to do things correctly and yet being in situations where they could not possibly achieve perfection. Jesus showed up in a similar way with each of them. When children are raised with the bar so high, they learn directly or indirectly that messes and mistakes are not acceptable. They develop a mindset that says, “God is only pleased with me when I do it right,” and while it profits them in life to be overachievers, they are missing out on HIS truth. Messes, weaknesses, and failures do not separate you from God. His truth is that when we come to Him, our weakness and lack bring intimacy and closeness. A loving parent knows that a 2-year-old will make messes, and they see it as an opportunity to offer comfort, reassurance, and help them grow in their capacity to do better next time. They do not see the child failing but rather as maturing and are honored to be a part of the process. If we only have closeness with Jesus when we are getting A’s and doing things perfectly, there will be a level of fear preventing deeper closeness because, deep down, you believe it is only because of your ‘good’ performance. There is a satisfying closeness with someone that only comes when they love you despite your failures and weakness, which is real vulnerability and closeness. If you experience this in your parenting, I encourage you to spend time with Him.

**Ask, “Jesus, will You please show me who I need to forgive for introducing me to the need to be perfect?”

**Forgive that person for directly or indirectly teaching you about perfectionism and pressure. 

**Ask, “Jesus, what lies have I believed because of the pressure to be perfect?”

**Renounce/break up with the lie. “I renounce the lie that _____.”

**Ask, “Jesus, what is Your truth?” Declare His truth over yourself daily!

TEACH ME

What is your number one parenting question right now? Ask Jesus and learn how to partner with Him in parenting your child – together! He alone knows what they need more than 100 earthly wise men. So give it a try, and then spend the next 18 years strengthening your partnership with their Creator.

ENCOUNTER HIM

Carve out some intentional time to sit with Jesus and ask the following questions. Listen and journal what He is speaking to you.

“Father, does my heart truly, sincerely want more of You?” 

“God, is there anything keeping me from going further?” 

“Jesus, is there anything in my heart that is afraid or fearful of more?” 

Next, pray this prayer: “Holy Spirit, I invite You to come and remove anything in my life that acts as a wall or barrier to going deeper with You. Remove everything that stands in the way of ALL You have for me.” After you pray, I encourage you to sit for a moment and let Him do some heart surgery. 

The following is an excerpt from Graham Cooke’s LIVING ON A HIGHER PLACE: “You are going to have to grow if you want to live with God at altitude because at a high altitude you must learn to walk at a pace that you can actually sustain. At high altitudes, you have to do everything for yourself. So high altitude, spiritually, becomes solely about your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. No one can do it for you. It has to be your walk. It has to be your worship. It has to be your faith, and it has to be your relationship with the Holy Spirit. You can’t borrow stuff from other people like you did in the valley because the way life worked in the valley does not work on the mountain. It has to be you.”

MY ANCHOR

Invite the children to join you in the family room with their pillows. Have them stand on their pillow and act out this childhood song. Find it on YouTube and let it serve as a reminder of our safe footing. 

 

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus Christ, my righteousness; 

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, 

But wholly lean on Jesus’ name. 

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; 

All other ground is sinking sand, 

All other ground is sinking sand. 

When darkness veils His lovely face, 

I rest on His unchanging grace; 

In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil. 

His oath, His covenant, His blood, 

Support me in the whelming flood; 

When all around my soul gives way, 

He then is all my hope and stays. 

When He shall come with trumpet sound, 

Oh, may I then in Him be found; 

In Him, my righteousness, alone, 

Faultless to stand before the throne.

ABBA

How would you answer this question? “The thing I wanted from my dad the most was _____.” 

I am not asking if you did or didn’t receive it. I am asking what you wanted the most from him. Spend some time forgiving him for not knowing how to give it to you. More importantly, have you learned how to get that from your Father? If we do not learn how to receive from Abba, we will simply pass on the same lack to our children. It is never about having perfect parents but experiencing the perfect Father.