HOLDING YOUR SON’S HEART IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND

HOLDING YOUR SON’S HEART IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND

  • Kingdom Parenting, Life with Littles

HOLDING YOUR SON’S HEART IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND

I sat on the bench against the window with the sun beating on my back as if to hear the Son saying, “I have your back.” I remember the day like it was yesterday because it was the day God gave me the strategy on how to raise my son. I was already a mother of 14-month-old twin daughters, and while I was still a new mom, I had this deep confidence that I would know how to raise them as a female myself. When I held my newborn son for the first time, there was something so deep within me that I felt unsure about raising a son. Maybe it was being raised without a father, or perhaps it was just my own fears and lies, but the uncertainty was evident. Hudson was barely a few days old when we took off to the local bookstore to seek wisdom on how to raise a son. I gathered the books that grabbed my attention and sat against the window, flipping through the pages. I didn’t leave with a single book but found the strategy I was searching for. In one of Dr. James Dobson’s parenting books, there was a section on a boy’s heart and how we must be diligent in going after it. When a girl has a break in connection, she has built-in wiring to repair, rebuild, and reconnect. But when a boy endures disconnection, he needs help coming back. I was so excited to be empowered. That night, as I held my newborn bundle in my arms with tears rolling down my cheeks, I promised that I would never let the sun go down without his heart in the palm of my hands. Fifteen years later, I have made good on that promise. It hasn’t always been easy, but I have diligently pursued his heart. How have I pursued his heart over the years? By teaching him godly character, explaining on his level what connection looks like, allowing him space but not isolation, and never letting the sun go down in anger or conflict. Speaking his love language daily, calling out tones and attitudes, intentionally restoring the joy chemicals in his brain, hugging him, and telling him I love him in words other than “I love you.” Speaking over him who he is called to be, prophesying over his future, not tolerating slammed doors or storming off, and teaching him how to respect me in his actions and speech. Limiting the number of video games, not allowing violence to entertain him, role-playing how to interact with his sisters when he is upset, and fighting in the spirit realm over him. Speaking over his future success, “You are going to be…”, being aware when there are emotional or relational walls, telling him the fruit he will bear with his choices (good or bad), helping him see how good connection feels, and how it is worth the work it takes!

COURAGEOUS

Cannot encourage people to see the movie Courageous strong enough. It’s a call to men of all shapes, sizes, walks of life, and beliefs to step up and be the hero your family needs you to be! In a male bashing world, it’s nice to see a movie that goes to the heart of just how deeply needed and wanted the men in our lives really are. Do your family a favor and go see it!

KINGDOM PARENTING

“I received revelation about how to respond to my oldest son who challenges me the most. He opened his car window all the way, which caused the whole interior of the car to vibrate, and everyone got upset. Normally, I would yell at him, shut the window, and lock it. But this morning, I stopped myself, waited, and listened. Holy Spirit said he was angry that I turned off his TV show when it was time to leave. The cool thing is that conversation turned into another conversation about God. It was amazing! The car ride was so fun and peaceful, the atmosphere completely shifted back to His presence and peace, and at the end of our adventure, out of the blue, my son said that was the best day he ever had! Thank you, Lisa. This course has started to affect my response to my children, which, as you see, has really blessed us.”

HUMILITY INCREASES RESPECT

When God says be HUMBLE, He means for us to be humble, always, and that includes in our parenting. Often parents fear that if they are humble with their children, they will somehow lose their parental authority. That is not accurate. You will gain their respect because you are modeling for them the Kingdom and connecting with their hearts. It is okay to learn from your children and hear what may need to be improved upon. I often check in with my kids and ask them, “What is something Mom has done well?” “What is something you wish Mom would improve upon to make your heart feel loved and seen?” The answers always surprise me and motivate me to become more like Jesus in my parenting. The truth is, either way, you are going to hear it – either now or when they are older and dealing with the fruit. I would much rather listen to their hearts while they are still children and deal with it in childhood, where I can grow and make a positive difference in their lives. Don’t be afraid of feedback. Allow God to parent you in your parenting journey.

EMBRACE JOY

The Kingdom is righteousness, peace, and joy, yet one of the biggest reasons why Sunday school leaders have a hard time finding volunteers is because adults are uncomfortable with JOY. Teach parents how to be restored to joy, and they will be drawn to those who carry child-like joy!

LET THIS BE YOUR TESTIMONY

“Your seminar in Colorado last weekend lit a fire in my husband and me! No more turning a blind eye to the works of the enemy! We are calling them out and casting down their agendas over our children and family in the mighty name of Jesus! We SO appreciated every word you spoke. It broke things off in the spiritual realm that had their roots too deep for too long.”

The work has only begun… and it is POWERFUL. You don’t have to wait for a conference. You can get the material and join our online JOURNEY class today! Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

DOING IT WITH HIM

We do not parent FOR Him, but rather WITH Him! This tiny mental shift releases a floodgate of peace, increases trust, and the ability to relax that He has truly got this and knows what He is doing.

CHILDLIKE FAITH

It never ceases to amaze me how much children actually have the Kingdom right, and we have it backward. In the natural, they are the ones that get afraid and automatically cling to their daddy for protection. Yet it is when parents are partnering with fear and refuse to go to the Father that creates the greatest hindrance in the family’s spiritual health. Fear is a LIE used by the enemy that prevents us from holding our Father’s hand and trusting Him to protect us. So instead, be childlike and jump in His lap!

LEAD THEM TO HIM

I have often been encouraged to write a book about all the ways one could release the Kingdom through children. While I love the idea, I believe that it has the potential to feed many people’s religious spirit. If they just go through a book and do 1, 2,3, they might bear some fruit but will miss the connection with God that our heart desires. I believe the greater calling is simply to help parents flip some of their old mindsets that may be super religious but are not of the Father’s heart. Once their mindsets are in alignment with heaven, the flow becomes endless of how we can play in the Kingdom based on our own specific calling, destiny, and unique family design. There is *never* going to be a perfect month for you to put your family first as there will always be busyness and distractions, but I strongly believe that NOW is the time to widen your journey with Him in your parenting. 

BACKWARDS

I will be so bold to say that we have it a bit backward. We teach our children about the written Word first, yet when they are in scary situations, they aren’t flipping through their memory bank to find Scripture to apply to their situation. I believe that the focus for raising spiritually strong children needs to be on leading them into encounters with His presence and hearing God speaking to them. We, as parents, should test it against our knowledge of the Scriptures and lead accordingly. When kids experience God (His voice, His love, His peace), this focuses on the relationship first, not merely memorizing Scriptures or reciting the ‘rules.’ What would this generation look like if they were equipped with tools to stand firmly when the enemy comes? What if, at the age of six (and younger), they were TAUGHT and TRAINED by YOU to use tools needed to ward off the hurts that often become adult-sized wounds? You are investing in THE most priceless gift for your child. Do not be quick to give up or give in on your privilege to teach, equip and train your child in this area.