HE IS WORTH THE WAIT

HE IS WORTH THE WAIT

  • Testimonies

HE IS WORTH THE WAIT

There are few words to describe what this past season has been like for us as a family. Leaving our former home in California, where we were deeply connected in the midst of a worldwide crisis, is no joke. We spent the next five months living out of a suitcase in someone else’s space, attempting to find our footing. Not going to lie – it was swirly, confusing at times, and extremely heavy. I have struggled to share our news with people because the end result is a massive “WOW, GOD” story, but the journey was intense, raw, and real. It is sacred and feels inadequate to put it out there as news. Nonetheless, I know many of you were on the journey with us, and I want to share what God has done. 

We were never looking for a house. We were looking for His peace. There is a massive difference. Any ole house would have met our basic needs for shelter. We were looking for the peace that falls when you know you are right where you need to be. We didn’t move – we transitioned our hearts, community, ministry, destiny, and family, which is no small undertaking, and it must must must be done with Him leading. Looking back at every house and city we contended for, every twist and turn in discovering our home. Every cycle of hoping and laying down was an accumulation of His process in transitioning us. We would stand our ground for a city, and while we did not land there, He positioned us to fight for it. Each house represented something of a larger picture that He was unfolding in us. It was a massively stretching time for all five of us as we did not know the big picture or end story in the process. We were invited to trust Him in ways that refined us all.

Years ago, someone gave me a word about a house and that very specific things would happen in this house. I knew in my spirit our past homes were not the home the prophetic word was speaking of, but I knew without a doubt that THIS next home would be where the promise was filled, and that is another reason why our intentionality of stewarding His leading was so vital. When we first arrived, four people offered us their rental homes in Northern Colorado, and I was adamant we were to land south. I woke August 17th to find a Facebook memory pop-up of God revealing our former house in Redding to us on this day years ago. I sat there soaking in a “Do it again, Lord” moment, and by sunset, we had found our next home. 

It didn’t look the way I thought it would, it didn’t unfold the way I thought it would, and it didn’t appear the way I thought it would, but I can declare God is good. I am undone by the way He not only met our need for shelter but the oodles of ways He has provided for my heart, soul, and mama’s heart by His radical provision of a home, ministry hub, and safe space. I can declare – HE IS WORTH THE WAIT!!

CONCUSSION HEALED

THANK YOU to everyone who prayed and invited their children into praying for my concussion. My pain level was at a 7/8 when I asked for prayer two days ago. I felt led to stop taking the pain meds in an act of faith as so many were praying and have not had any in two days. My pain/pressure has gone down to a 3/4. For those of you who had your children pray, it is essential to follow back up with them and let them know the progress as this builds their faith. I would often say to my children something like, “Hey guys, remember when you prayed for Miss Amy? She is feeling much better. You guys are rock stars and so powerful. Look at what you did.” And they would respond, “No, JESUS did it.” This is very important. Often we empower our children to walk in healing the sick and powerful things happen, but we do not highlight that it is 100% the work of the Cross and the power of Jesus through us. If we fail to focus on this aspect, we are raising children to be prideful and taking credit for God’s glory. I have seen this happen, and it does not produce long-lasting fruit. Yes, children are very powerful. Yes, things happen when we pray. But it must be anchored in the truth that Jesus is the One who heals through us, not us.

I DECLARE

I left my four-month-old twins at home and put my newly pregnant self together for my first moms night out in nearly a year. I was excited to join my mom’s group for a night of carefree laughs. Everything was going great until halfway through our meal when one mom mentioned co-sleeping. Nearly every single mom believed in co-sleeping, and the comments were becoming the law vs. an option. Things were being said like, “If you don’t co-sleep, you are harming their emotional well-being,” and “I feel sorry for the kids whose parents are too selfish to share their bed.” I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I felt shame, judged, and inadequate as a new mother. It did not take long for MY reality to sink back in. I had two four-month-old babies, a husband who woke up at 4:00 AM for work, I was pregnant again with a growing belly, and we had a queen-sized bed. NO! Co-sleeping was not for us. I had to intentionally draw a line in the sand, push back their ‘wisdom,’ and be at peace with what was best for our family. I wished that painful experience with my peers was a rare moment, but I have found in parenting that this is a normal occurrence. 

Picture a dad injecting his son with a shot every morning. When asked WHY he was doing it, he replied, “Oh, I was at the hospital the other day. I noticed other parents doing it, so I wanted to be a good dad and give it to my son too.” How absurd, right? What keeps one child alive would actually harm another. We have got to get a hold of this in our parenting in order to parent with their Creator and what He is doing in their lives. No two families are a cookie-cutter of God’s design. We are all unique expressions of what He is doing on earth. The mom raising a missionary does not have the same job as the mom raising the next President of the United States of America. We are all bringing children up in the way they should go according to His plan and the assignment He has for them. We need to break the agreement that our families should fit in, look like everyone else, and the pressure to mold them according to someone else’s expectations. You stand before Him alone and give an account of how well you stewarded what He has given you (not what others expected of you).

I encourage you to pray this out loud, “Jesus, I confess that I have attempted to shape my child into someone else’s image. I ask for Your forgiveness for having my eyes on the fear and pressure of man instead of You. Do You forgive me?” Make sure you are not just asking for forgiveness but receiving it too. Make these declarations out loud over yourself: 

I DECLARE I am more than enough for my family. 

I DECLARE I do not need to parent like anyone else. 

I DECLARE my child does not need to conform to anyone else’s box. 

I DECLARE God knows what He is doing with my child. 

I DECLARE I will always know what to do because Christ lives inside of me. I DECLARE partnering with God in my parenting is the best way to raise my child.

CRAZY CYCLE

This is going to be a HUGE key for many parents! From a very early age, I could feel resistance with one of my daughters. I figured it was a generational thing and have intentionally gone after her heart. I would find myself saying YES to the others with ease, but my heart was hesitant, and I always wanted to say NO to her. It made no sense to me, but I could feel it. She agitated me in a way the others didn’t, yet she wasn’t really doing anything in the natural to warrant it. It was awful to admit because it felt like maybe I even liked her less than the others. I didn’t, but the resistance always made me feel like I was subtly rejecting my own child. God later revealed this to me through someone else, and I rushed home to share it with my daughter. She cried and began to tell me that she felt it, too, and even when we would go on dates, she felt like she couldn’t get close to me. We walked through what this looked like between us and have had such breakthrough.

It looks like this: When there is control-based parenting, the child responds in one of two ways. #1. They feel resistance, anger, and/or have hate or murder in their heart (which doesn’t mean death but can ‘kill’ you with their words). These children then partner with the spirit of REBELLION in their hearts. This can be outward or inward rebellion. #2. The other child feels hurt, isolated, withdrawn, unworthy, like a victim, and helpless when faced with a controlling parent, and they partner with a spirit of REJECTION. The problem is that when the parent feels the spirit of rebellion or rejection coming from the child, it makes them increase their control. A crazy cycle begins in which neither the parent nor the child is really seeing/responding to the other person, but rather the two spirits of control and rebellion/rejection are having a hay day! Connection, love, and unity go right out the window.

My daughter was partnering with a spirit of rejection, and I CAN’T STAND the spirit of rejection. My daughter wasn’t agitating me; the spirit was. Once she began to partner with that spirit, no matter what I would say, she would feel hurt and rejected, which drove me up a wall (in all honesty). I did use more control-based parenting until she was around five years old when I discovered Holy Spirit. But I think it has more to do with how opposite we are. She is my dancing, joyful, giddy, silly, talk a mile a minute, always wanting to create things, bake things, make a mess with paints, glitter and glue kid. I am busy, serious, don’t like messes, and have little appreciation for creative arts. Neither of us are wrong, but because I am the adult, she was feeling controlled by my repetitive ‘no’ answers and not giving her more freedom to be herself. The cycle had gone on for so long that it began to feel normal. It is easier to partner with control when they are younger, but once the spirit of rebellion and rejection are in motion, it is the tween and teen years where the ‘fruit’ of that parenting really begins to reveal itself in the child. Since the spirit of rebellion and rejection have a legal right to be there, they influence the child to behave and make choices that only further the parents’ drive for control. Obviously, rebellion and rejection are not what we want to introduce our children to. We are the ones to break the cycle!

Praise God for this incredible revelation and tool so that we can break free from the enemy’s tools of control, rebellion, and rejection, and we can walk in freedom and connection. If this sounds like something that you are experiencing with one of your children, I encourage you to spend time with Holy Spirit talking to Him about it. If you need to repent, do that first. Set a date with your child (mine was out on the driveway while the other kids were inside). Fill their love tank for a few minutes first, as a filled tank always lowers the walls and makes hard conversations easier. Explain to them that God loves them so much and has shown you an area that you need to change (this makes them feel secure that God has their back, too). I drew a figure 8 and showed her how the crazy cycle went around and around and how we both played our roles. I asked her to please forgive me for making her feel controlled. I also helped her walk through asking Jesus for forgiveness for partnering with the lie and spirit of rejection. We hugged and cried and allowed for Holy Spirit to heal without words for a while. We then tasted the new fruit in the days to come. I also called a family meeting and made sure everyone was aware of the cycle. We agreed that when they were feeling controlled, or I was seeing the rebellion/rejection, we could call out a special code to signal we were partnering with it again. I also want to add that children can control their parents, causing parents to partner with rebellion and rejection, too. This can also be a dynamic with siblings where one is controlling another. If you had a controlling parent, ask Holy Spirit if you are still allowing the spirit of rebellion or rejection to influence you today. Spirits don’t leave us just because we move out of the house. This is NOT a reflection of you being a bad parent, but rather a reflection of the enemy and what he does best – kill, steal and destroy – in this case, the connection with our children. Don’t allow him to put the blame back on you. It is okay to get mad that many of us come under this but use the anger to rise up in your authority and break the cycle. Ask Holy Spirit what keys He wants you to use with your child to repair the connection. Thank You, Father, for being a perfect parent and helping us along the way!

Crazy cycle between parent and child: Crazy Cycle Between Parent & Child – YouTube

REAL ESTATE AGENT

This testimony feels ancient now, but it is a big part of our family’s story. What people didn’t get to hear is that a year later, the people who wanted to buy the house wrote thanking me for asking to be released from the contract. They had a sudden turn of events and thanked me for listening to God. It increased their faith that God was leading them, too, despite the disappointment at the moment. God is a good (and a great) real estate agent!

God As Our Real Estate Agent – YouTube

WORKING THROUGH HEART SPLINTERS TOGETHER

“Hi Lisa! I have newly discovered your presence and am loving your posts and the way you approach parenting. We’ve had this in our hearts and have purposes to parent this way, but it can feel overwhelming without extra help. I love the prompts you give and the practical, real-life examples. Thank you! I just bought Heart Splinters and am slowly working through it. I have three beautiful boys. Our oldest was diagnosed with arthritis when he was 3. He lost the ability to walk and was in therapy for a year, along with multiple shots per week. He is 10 now and is completely fine! We know the Lord healed him (and blessed us with good doctors), but I can see some heart splinters regarding God and feeling like everything bad happens to him. Yesterday, he said something about this, and I said, ‘You know, I have this book called Heart Splinters. Maybe we can look at it together? I think you may have some heart splinters.’ He looked at me and said, ‘I think I do. We should do that.’ Sorry for the long message, but I’m just really excited to have found a tool to touch those places I wasn’t sure how to get to but knew they were there.”

Heart Splinters BOOK – Let the Children Fly

I WANT THAT

Do you ever hear of a great testimony and say, “I want that?” While the heart of sharing testimonies is the confidence God wants to do it again in your life, the focus has to be on HIM, not the fruit. We can’t just say, “I want that fruit”; it has to be, “I want HIM.” So, when you see God move mountains in someone’s life, let it encourage you that He is able, but ask Him for the keys in your own life and follow whatever He tells you in your situation.

WE SING HALLELUJAH!!

Many of you know my journey with losing my mom to reoccurring breast cancer when I was 24. I have had my own issues over the years, and for the past year, we have been monitoring a current lump. I was scheduled for my ultrasound to measure growth, but they sent me home because my previous scans had not arrived (nothing to compare them to). Two days ago, I embarked on a five-hour inner healing session where a team pressed in hard for a generational curse in my bloodline that was still active. What God revealed in the midst of our session was nothing short of glorious. We have ALL authority over ALL things that come against us to kill, steal and destroy. I noticed INSTANT fruit and am in awe over the goodness of our Creator.

I went to my rescheduled ultrasound appointment. The doctor came in and said my lump has SHRUNK!!! That is what a reversed bloodline curse looks like. I don’t care where you are at in your journey; there is always more of God to discover and waves of freedom to experience. Posture your heart to always, always, always be ready to receive more. The only one who has discovered the true depth of revelation and glory is Jesus. We will spend the rest of our life on earth exploring His utter goodness!

DO YOU TRUST HIM EVEN IF…?

Excerpt from my book:

I was sandwiched between my pursuit of trying to help the kids with their deep owies and yet still trying to keep the bridge from burning fully with their father. I was struggling with letting them go to his house for the weekend, knowing it would only reap more trauma. Part of the problem was that we did not fully yet know what kind of trauma was happening, just that the kids were having strong reactions and saying things that were pointing to some very upsetting possibilities. My friend asked me, “Do you trust God even if something happens?” My immediate answer was, “NO! No, I do not.” I mean, I loved Him, and He was my Savior, but trust Him with my children? Oh my. That stretched a level of faith in me I had not yet tapped into. Her reply was both upsetting and convicting. She said, “That is the problem, Lisa. Unless and until you resolve that God is big enough, even if things happen to your children that bring pain, you will spend the next 18 years wearing yourself out trying to play God in their life. Resolve this issue first and then make a decision in their best interest.” This was perhaps one of the most painful yet defining moments in my parenting and one I have to ask myself repeatedly. Do I trust Him even if _____?

ACTS OF SERVICE

A mom mentioned: “When I read about children with the language of acts of service wanting you to help them, I thought of my daughter. An example would be me fixing her hair. Sometimes I don’t have time to help her and ask her to do it herself, and she does get upset actually.”

My response: I know you love her and show it through providing breakfast, clean clothes, and getting her to school, but can you increase doing it in a way that she values and understands? What if sending her to school with her hair done by you filled her tank in a way that empowered and helped her throughout the day to feel safe and secure? Would you want to do it then? She is giving you the keys to her heart. The amazing thing about children is that their hearts are small and fill so fast. A five-minute hair session can literally change her day! How can you create the time to communicate love to her? Can you wake up five minutes earlier? Can you braid it the night before? When you honestly cannot do it, how then can you communicate that you still love her without being able to do her hair?

Let’s slow this down for a moment. A child is asking for help because that is how their tank gets filled, and the parent to whom they are offering their heart begins to get upset and frustrated with them for not doing it themselves. They now walk away with a tank even lower than when they first asked. I KNOW this is not the goal of many parents, but this is what happens when we fail to understand *their* language. We have miscommunication and a breakdown of deposits in their heart. Hear the difference: “No, I already taught you how to tie your shoes. You be a big boy and do it by yourself. Stop fussing and get it done now. No, I will not help you. You are going to make me late. Hurry up,” VS. “Oh, buddy. I love that you want me to help you, and my heart really wants to, but I cannot right now. I need you to tie your shoes. I am so proud of you for the way you have mastered tying your shoes.” Can you hear the difference? One sees the heart and affirms them, while the other only sees the task. It isn’t a yes/no, you do it/I do it response. It is seeing their heart and making sure you are communicating and affirming your love for them.

NOT ALONE

When I first began life as a single mom, I would wake in the middle of the night, totally paralyzed by anxiety. The best way to describe how I felt is to recall the scene from the movie Titanic when they were in the bottom cabin, and water began filling the room. They only had a tiny pocket of air left and were gasping for that last bit of air before they were fully submerged. That is how I felt, except I had four kids holding onto me, and none of them could swim. It was horrifying to consider which one I had to let go of because I couldn’t carry them all. Talk about horrible! One day, I couldn’t take the stress of being stressed any longer and faced my fear head-on. I realized that the verse in Jeremiah about His plans for a future and hope was my life verse (Jeremiah 29:11), but it also applied to the kids. At that moment, I realized I got five doses of that promise because my kids were minors and under my watch. I finally surrendered all of the panic, worry, and anxiety. I declared, “Father, if it is Your best will and plan for us to be homeless, then we will be the cutest homeless family standing on the corner with our signs.” I was quite serious at the time, and all I can say is that you would not believe the financial testimonies God has produced through our family. They are nothing short of miracles. Supernatural living was birthed through striving to rest in His goodness.