We don’t want to shut down in our children what needs to be awakened in us. Oftentimes, God allows our children to carry something that rubs us the wrong way. It isn’t that they are doing something wrong. It is that something needs to be healed, aligned, or brought to life in us, and God is parenting us through them.
Many of you are feeling waves, and I want to validate that it is okay to be processing this season in waves. Many of us have to wade through the wave of fear, anxiety, and worry. I am used to feeling something, processing it, and having a breakthrough. It is odd to have the wave come, walk in peace, and then have it come again when I least expect it. I reached out to my team and asked how they were doing. One mom said, “If you were to ask me last night, I would have said AWESOME, but this morning I am a mess.” How many can relate? One minute you feel like Mother of the Year, and the next wave, you feel like a massive failure. One minute you have the faith of a haystack, and the next, you can’t seem to find the mustard seed. One minute you feel energized and confident, and the next, you feel so defeated. This is OKAY, but what you do with it is significant. You either use those waves to make you stronger or let them pulverize you.
Each time the wave comes, may I encourage you to pause and process your heart by asking yourself: #1. Is this wave in my mind, body, or spirit?
**Our MINDS are dealing with many facts which aren’t always true.
**Our BODY has had to switch gears significantly from busyness to rest (which can be extremely challenging physically). Others are worn out from having the busyness of children 24/7.
**Our SPIRITS are experiencing so much right now, and not all of it is the right Kingdom.
#2. What does my mind/body/spirit need right now? Each time you STOP and process your heart and meet the need, your CAPACITY to handle the situation increases. The next time the wave comes, you will be STRONGER. Enjoy the peace, process the weight, and allow this to increase your capacity to become stronger in the midst of hardship.
Mary and Joseph were the human vessels God worked THROUGH to accomplish HIS purpose and plan for HIS Kingdom! What if Joseph decided *HE* wanted Jesus to be a football player or a doctor? Just think of how the world would have missed what God was doing. God is smart. God is good and knows what He is doing with the world. He needs parents who will lay down their own agenda and partner with what He is doing SO THAT our children can do all that He has created them to do for His purpose and His plan. I encourage you to spend some quiet time before the Lord today and ask Him, “Father, will You please show me what YOU have put inside my child” or “Holy Spirit, will You please show me the destiny (purpose on earth) You have placed deep inside of them?”
Helping parents align their thinking about family is a big part of what we do through Let the Children Fly. Take a look at this exchange with one precious mama.
Mom wrote: “I’ve been realizing this year just how much having children pushes on and exposes my own childhood trauma. I have been facing brokenness I never knew existed until kids. It is HARD!! I so wish I could have gotten better healing before I had kids! I hate that they are the victims of my process! But I am so determined to get whole and healed and BREAK the cycles in the name of JESUS!”
Lisa’s response: Oh, sweet friend. No, no, no, they are not victims of your process. God knew before He knit them together what you did/didn’t receive. He knit them together in HIS image, but with you in mind. It is God’s love for you that your children carry something that touches that part of you that needs healing and alignment. This is called FAMILY by God’s design. If you make a mess, you need to make it right with them, but there is nothing but grace in the process. Staying that way long term and hardening yourself to growth is how we pass it on to the next generation. But seeing our messy places AND doing something about it is GLORIOUS. You are allowing Him to crash in those places. Your children lack nothing because God is working this out. They are the heroes in your story, not victims. Your breakthrough is their inheritance. He is covering you today, sweet friend.
God is a master at growing people for the long term and is not interested in fifteen minutes of fame. He wants fruit that will last into eternity and later generations. Fruit takes time to mature. So bless whatever is going on in your life as part of your training ground. He WILL use it for good. He promises you that.
Back in my 20’s, I was hospitalized for three months, and upon waking from my coma, I discovered I had kidney, liver, and respiratory failure. I was pretty sick and very weak. My vital organs were all compromised, and I almost died because of it. One of the hardest parts of that journey was physical therapy, where I had to mentally train my body to work again. All I wanted to do was lay down and quit. It was too hard. I did not have the muscle strength to do what my circumstances demanded of me. My muscles felt like a wet noodle. I wanted to stop. I wanted to quit. I wanted to be left alone, but my PT cared about my health journey and knew it was best to push me, call me further, and expect more of myself SO THAT I could be strong and healthy again. I am so glad they could see further down the road than my eyes could at that moment. I needed to trust their wisdom in order to pull myself out of that pit.
Here’s the deal – many of you have been in a spiritual coma. Things have happened and caused your muscles to feel fatigued. You are like a wet noodle in the spiritual realm and have simply laid down and quit. You have allowed the toxins of life to affect your spiritual health. I get it more than you know. But we cannot remain in bed, hoping and praying that God will supernaturally step in and heal us where He has invited us to take our place. We must do our part. You have to get out of bed and begin using those muscles again, as hard as it is and as weak as you may feel. You have come too far to quit now. Your children will reap the fruit of your choices one way or another.
This mom owned her partnership with Jesus while taking our JOURNEY class:
“Yet this is my confession: HE was not ignorant of my woundings and shortcomings when He entrusted me with these little men. He has never called me perfect, just HIS. I can clean up any mess I’ve made by the power of the Spirit that lives within me. My God LOVES to redeem my mistakes and gives all the treasures back WITH interest. I declare that my children will not only be HEALED of any past or future wounding they might receive from me or anyone else, but they will also GAIN AUTHORITY in the process to set many captives free in the same areas. I declare that what the enemy intended for evil, my God turns to MORE good in our family. I declare that we are on the fast track as a family toward the greatness God deposited in each of us in our mother’s wombs and that we will be iron sharpening iron as we move from glory to glory!”
My voice is a broken record as I state over and over and over that if the Father looks at the heart, so should we in our parenting. God told me years ago, “Stop denying my daughter her dog,” and with that, I moved into another home just to get her a dog. I am not a dog lover, and it was a hard thing for me to obey. God has surely been good on His word, and Boo has brought so much healing to her heart over the years.
My son came for some snuggles while I was having my time with Jesus. I had him ask Jesus if He wanted to spend time with him too, which He confirmed. Then I asked, “Ask Him what He wants to do with you,” and my son said, “Play on my tablet.” Of course, I didn’t NOT think that was Jesus, but guarding against being the middleman, I let it go. An hour later, as I was spiking his hair, he said he didn’t do very well playing his video game. I jokingly said, “How is that possible? I thought Jesus was playing with you,” and he said, “No, I was doing all of the driving,” and it organically turned into the sweetest conversation about letting Jesus be in the driver’s seat of our lives. Where I thought my son was more interested in his computer games than spending time with Jesus, He orchestrated the entire moment THROUGH the very thing that mattered to my son. He is so good!
Finding pockets of joy is a deal-breaker in the midst of the battle because it increases a chemical in our brain that gives us the will to endure hard things. Laughing when you are heavy is hard, but it is one of the greatest muscles you can utilize in the midst of a battle. Make a list of 3-5 things that would bring your heart a smile – DO IT!
If you want God to move in your family, you have to give Him ROOM to do so. When our agenda, need for control, and schedules are wound up so tightly, it doesn’t give room to depend on Him for what only He can do. Busyness and control are two killers of the supernatural in our families.