EMPOWER OUTINGS

EMPOWER OUTINGS

  • Activities/Teachings, Connection

EMPOWER OUTINGS

Face it, errands are a child’s least favorite ‘activity.’ Look for ways to engage them vs. just having them follow you around. Who can push the cart? Who can find the can of beans first? Who can open the door? Who can guess how long the line will take? Use the wait times to fill up their love tank and connect with their hearts (not check your phone). For older kids, empower them to help plan the menu and pick out the groceries. They can get out and wash your window while you pump the gas (I also have a child gather the trash from the car while I get gas). Make it fun and look for ways they can own part of the outing.

SYSTEM UPGRADES

As a mom of four, I had my grocery trips down to a science. I had my toddler in the front, my baby in the carrier of the cart, and my four-year-old twins holding onto each side of the cart. There was peace and joy when we went to the store. Until the day they all outgrew their places, and they were running around playing tag while I attempted to shop. I rationalized that they were fine because they were being joyful, but the joy broke out into the next aisle, where they zoomed up and down the rows of food. Finally, they rounded the corner and nearly plowed over an elderly lady with a walker! I realized my previous system was no longer effective. I had to go home and call another family meeting where I taught them what going to the store looked like in this new stage. This is the process of building them with age-appropriate character throughout their childhood years.

HEARTWORK

Parents – you have homework! Love is a VERB. Grab some paper and begin to write notes to your child. So tuck them in their underwear drawer, by their toothbrush, in their favorite book. Let them find your nuggets of love!!!! You can do it for your children or have them do it for each other.

CONNECTION

Without connection, we can use spiritual tools to drive a wedge between our children and their Father. The Pharisees were all about obeying the law perfectly, and Jesus was about the person. We can parent to keep our children in line with perfect expectations, or we can parent the child as an important, valuable, and unique human being who is in training to become a successful adult. One focuses on what they DO, while the other focuses on who they ARE. 

I used to parent based on my child’s behavior, modeling the popular WWJD – “What would Jesus do?”. Jesus never hit, backtalked, pinched his sister, slammed doors, disobeyed, etc., so whenever those ‘ungodly’ traits would appear, I would discipline for it. I was a strong believer in raising kids who modeled the outward behavior of Jesus. I probably would have even admitted that it didn’t matter much what was going on inside their hearts because if I could train them to do it ‘right’ on the outside, eventually, it would sink into their heart. Anytime they were out of line, I felt anxious, and in my view, I thought I looked bad to others. If my child had a meltdown at the mall or displayed a lack of self-control at a restaurant, it meant I was a bad mom. It was a fear-based cycle of needing to control their outward behavior so that I felt good about myself as a parent. Their immature choices were more about my feelings than their training and development. I’m not sure parenting ever works that way, but what it produces is legalism and a religious spirit that tells the child that we don’t really care about what is happening inside them; we want them to perform to make us feel good. Kids are taught their behavior matters and they do not. They are taught God is a ruler maker who disciplines imperfection. They are trained to hide their true selves. They are introduced to isolation and loneliness. They feel like something is wrong with them. Can you relate? Is Holy Spirit showing you that there is room to grow in your focus from controlling their outward behavior to parenting the heart? If yes, we have to respond to Him. There won’t be any transformation unless we are willing to let Him move us. 

HeartWork – Grab your journal and spend some intentional time today asking for forgiveness for caring more about your child’s behavior than their heart. Cry out to God, ask Him to teach you how to parent the way He parents us. He cares about your heart.

HOW TO WIN THE BATTLE

It seemed like my phone was constantly going off with messages from people in the battle. Many of my leader friends were posting to encourage those around them in their battle. A LOT is going on in the spiritual realm. Battle means a sustained fight between large organized armed forces and/or a fight or struggle tenaciously to achieve or resist something. There is a time and place to rest and surrender, and there is a time and place to rise up, stand in your place and engage. If you are feeling that battle, I want to lead you to an exercise on how to do just that. 

First, take what is causing your heart trouble – conflict, disconnection, being misunderstood, injustice, world affairs or current events, finances, etc. Whatever it is, hold it in your hand. Don’t just feel it; identify it. 

Second, you must align your heart with His. The whole purpose of a battle is to defeat something. You are feeling the battle because something has to be defeated. BUT we need to make sure we are on the right side. Sometimes our battle is because something inside of us needs to be defeated, such as partnering with a spirit of fear. I recently went through a massive battle, but there was something inside of me that God wanted to align for my health and increased capacity. So start by asking, “Jesus, what in me do You want to align in this present battle?” 

Third, your battle is the touchpoint where you are called and commissioned (an instruction, command, or duty given to a person or group of people) to be an Ambassador of Christ. In Matthew 6:10, Jesus is teaching us how to pray. It says we are to declare, speak out and usher HEAVEN into a situation. I grew up with a version of the Bible that reads, “May Your Kingdom come soon,” so I was raised with the belief that He is good but that His Kingdom is for later, not now. But if you look at other translations, it says we are to pray, “Heaven COME!” We do not command, dictate, or direct God, but we pray as Jesus did and order His Kingdom to be infused in a situation. This matters deeply because this is where we battle. Perhaps so many people are weary and worn out from the battle because there are no ambassadors of Heaven ushering in His Kingdom into the circumstances. 

Fourth, put your hand on your heart and pray this prayer, “Jesus, thank You for laying down Your life so that I could have a relationship with Your Father and have access to all that is His. I speak to my spirit and say be aligned with His Holy Spirit. I take my eyes off of my battle and circumstances and will rise up as His ambassador on earth. I speak to my situation and say, ‘Heaven come now. May Your will and Kingdom be rulers in this situation.’ In Jesus’ name.” 

Whenever I heard of someone’s battle, I simply said with faith, “Heaven come now into that situation.” Rise up and do your part as His ambassador.

POWER OF WORDS

In our online Kingdom parenting class, I share, “People act out what other people have spoken over them.” If this is something that you have struggled with in life and is now affecting your parenting, I encourage you break agreement with that and walk into the truth of who you are (so that you can parent from that place). 

HELP THEM

We treat children like they are in blatant sin and punish them when what they really need is HELP. My passion is to empower parents HOW to see beyond the behavior and into what is going on in their hearts. There is hope in parenting our children in peace and authority that reaps a generation of kids who are whole, confident, and secure.

CLEARING THE AIR

I feel a strong stirring in my spirit that we all need to do our part to ‘clear the air’ in the spiritual realm. Who do you need to forgive? Make things right with? Let go of offense? Believe the best? Ask for forgiveness? Repent of judgments? Confess slander? Call a family meeting and walk this out together.

In doing this, we begin to clear the spiritual air and allow ourselves to get the fresh air our spirit needs to be healthy.

AUTHORITY & HEALING

There are two chapters in our JOURNEY book that the world needs TODAY. 

Authority – Do you know how to use your God-given authority to defeat the works of the enemy in your family? Things like sickness, fear, panic, stress, anxiety, and unrest are things we have authority over. In this chapter, I explain our Biblical authority and give parents exercises and tools for teaching their children how to rise up and walk in the authority Christ died for. 

Healing – Do you know how to pray for the sick as Jesus did? In this chapter, I walk parents through how to teach their children to pray for the sick with faith that produces fruit. 

Use the storm for GOOD and allow it to create a hunger in you for more of Him. Allow me to empower you with the language, tools, and activities to equip your children to be powerful people who change the world around them.

You can order your copy here: Journey Book – Let the Children Fly

THE PURPOSE OF FRIENDSHIPS

Let’s start by defining the purpose of friendships. The Word says God’s Kingdom is righteousness, peace, and joy. It goes without saying that peers of all ages bring us tremendous joy. Whether it is swinging at the park together, giggling into the wee hours of the night, or greeting each other with a high five, friends bring us a feeling of great pleasure and happiness by God’s design. Jesus is the ultimate friend and life companion who was willing to lay down His life for us. Being friends with Jesus is where we get our deep sense of belonging, which is a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. God gives us siblings and peer friendships so that we can tangibly experience that deep sense of belonging on earth. To belong means you are seen, heard, known, valued, appreciated, and accepted. Belonging gives you a sense of security, confidence, ability to live from your real self, grow, thrive, and take risks. When friendship flows as God intended, it enriches our mind, body, and spirit; however, when it is disrupted, it can bring tremendous heartbreak and pain.

The opposite of BELONGING is ISOLATION. Isolation means to be far away from (remote, out of the way, outlying, off the beaten track, secluded, hard to find, lonely, in the back of beyond, in the hinterlands, off the map, in the middle of nowhere, obscure, inaccessible, cutoff, unreachable; faraway, far-flung, lonesome). I am confident no parent would desire this for their child, yet scores of children experience isolation daily. I believe it is our job as parents to help give our children the character and tools needed to be successful in relationships with siblings and friends because they will greatly influence who they become. Let’s go after empowering our children to steward valuable friendships and increase their capacity to become great friends.