I had the following vision: I was in the passenger seat while Hudson was driving. He was starting out and very nervous. We went on a very busy and narrow road and drove extremely slow, causing other drivers to get upset and speed past him. I told him to pull over and let the cars pass, but he got nervous and pulled off too quickly, almost causing an accident. He was so nervous simply because it was a new experience for him. A police officer pulled up behind us, and I immediately said, “I will handle this,” and got out of the car. I approached the officer defending my son. The police officer saw me as a threat and drew his weapon. It was a very serious situation. When the vision was over, I was a little startled by it. I asked God what He wanted me to know and heard this: #1. You are not in the driver’s seat of Hudson’s life – he is. #2. You are not the one in final authority – He is. I knew God was showing me that I had overextended my involvement in his life (in a particular area) and was motivated by a lack of trusting God with my son. I repented.
- Authority, Teens
One area parents must learn to rise up and walk in their God-given authority is in the area of not allowing the enemy to speak to them. Condemnation and accusation are not allowed to speak to me. Why? Because their ONLY purpose is to get me to think small. I can’t afford to parent my children from the position of feeling small, believing God is small or that the calling on their life is small. So, break agreement with the voice of condemnation and accusation: 1. REPENT for your sin by confessing to Jesus what you did/said and asking Him to forgive you. 2. ASK God to show you a picture of how He feels about you. 3. DECLARE that truth out loud. Whenever the voice of accusation and condemnation comes, you fight it by picking up your warfare weapon of His word and truth and open your mouth.
Call a family meeting and ask your children what would happen if you walked into the middle of a busy street and held up your hand. Nothing would probably happen. Next, ask what would happen if a police officer walked in the middle of a busy street and put up his hand. Because of his badge, he has authority. Not only that, but all of the courts back him up. We get to be police officers in the spiritual realm because of the badge of Jesus, and all of heaven backs us up. We get to tie up the bad and then unleash all the good stuff!
I share more about the police badge teaching and authority in this video. Watch it with your children. Teaching Children Their Authority – YouTube
A parent was asking me about the child who slams their door and remains in the room upset. Their question included, “I can’t control them,” and something profound rose within me. No, they are right that control-based parenting is ineffective for the long haul and does little to address the child’s heart. However, I think there is a lot of space between “I can’t control them,” and “there is no way I will lay down my authority that fast when the enemy comes to build a wall with my child.” Let me explain. The purpose of a wall in the natural (bushes, fences, room dividers, retaining wall) is to hold something in and/or keep something out. It creates a physical boundary line that communicates “you can’t get through.” We build walls in our hearts when we are hurt or afraid to keep the bad out and to self-protect ourselves from getting hurt again. This makes logical sense, EXCEPT #1. It keeps the bad out but also keeps the good out. #2. It traps the bad so that it can’t escape and causes us to carry the hurt/offense around. #3. God never intended us to carry the job of self-protection. That is His job. When the enemy is working my child to build a wall to keep pain in (and me out), I agree I can’t control them, but boy, mama bear comes out in the spiritual realm. I bind whatever is in operation, ask Holy Spirit to bring into light whatever is in darkness, release comfort to their hearts, and I go after their love language BIG time. When I see my child struggling and needing the comfort of a wall to feel safe, I BACK OFF from parenting their flesh and wrong behavior and go after their heart. My goal isn’t to have perfect kids. My goal is to keep their heart in the palm of my hand and teach them a lifestyle of going to God even in the complicated and messy places. Control? No. Power and authority? YES!
A friend messaged me this: “Last night, our son (age 6), who can feel things in the atmosphere, said he felt scared and didn’t know why. His father explained that other people are afraid of something he doesn’t need to be afraid of. This would normally result in many discussions. But last night, he said, ‘Oh, okay. Can I talk to Jesus about it?’ To which the answer was, ‘Of course, bud!’ He got quiet, the room shifted, and he fell asleep! Yay, Jesus!”
IF A SIX-YEAR-OLD IS LED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT TO TALK TO JESUS ABOUT FEELING SCARED, WHAT’S OUR EXCUSE? There is a KEY in this testimony. He felt it, talked to Jesus about it, and rested. It’s okay to feel, but we must bring it to Jesus for the rest to come.
In the days leading up to the day I wrote this lesson, I was attacked endlessly. At the eleventh hour, I took some time in my room. All I could do was lie on my bed feeling all alone, completely consumed, and like I was sinking deeper and deeper into a pit. Ever been there? I eventually reached a dangerously low place in the pit and realized if I did not fight my way out, I might not get out. I knew from experience that this was never a good place to be. So, I texted a handful of prayer warriors I knew who would bombard the heavenlies on my behalf. I called a friend with whom I could be real and messy. I talked to my mentor and bared it all to her. Then, the revelation breakthrough came: I HAVE AUTHORITY OVER THIS! That which kills, steals, and destroys will always be around me, but within me is the ability to release that which brings life, joy, and blessings!
However, the key to releasing it is a VERB! We must ‘do’ something about the situations around us, not in the natural but in the spiritual realm. Old, religious, spiritual mindsets disempower us by saying we can only allow ourselves to be in ‘clean environments.’ Things that are spiritually unclean, messy, or different aren’t fit for the godly. To believe these lies is to deny Jesus’ ministry on earth. The true sons of the Kingdom of God know who they are and aren’t afraid to release heaven in the areas that need Him the most. Another spiritual mindset that renders us powerless believes that God isn’t big enough, and if He wanted something done or changed, He would do it Himself. To believe this is to deny Jesus’ words on earth! He said He has all the authority and then commissioned US to go out and do ‘greater works’ than He did. Jesus never sat by passively saying, “I guess Daddy doesn’t feel like raising you, Lazarus. Sorry.” No, Jesus got His Father’s perspective, and then Jesus DID IT! He then passed that baton onto us. This is where the Kingdom gets exciting!
I have ten-year-old twins, and one has always been more mature, taller, developed faster, and learned easier than the other. They are only a minute apart but have never looked like it. I have guarded against comparisons and tried hard to express value for where they are in all areas, but some of the differences were obvious. In the last several weeks, the younger twin has sprouted! I was talking to her about the drastic ‘overnight’ change, and she said, “I think it is because of Chris Gore.” I asked what she meant by that, and she told me that at camp, he taught them the power of their tongue and to bless their bodies. She said ever since his teaching, she has spoken blessings over her hands, mind, personality, etc.! Come on! She has grown inches – both figuratively and literally – by the power of blessing herself. Wow! Wow! Wow!
When an older child says, “I am bored,” they are often saying, “I am starving for connection,” so giving them a list of chores doesn’t always meet the need but drives the isolation deeper. Partner with Holy Spirit when you hear your child declare, “I AM BORED,” to see if they are really crying out for healthy connection.
I love this time of year when we get to reflect on the previous year and gladly welcome the new. It seems every year, there is a deep sense of excitement for what God is doing, but this year (2020) is different. I have been in a six-year journey of contending for my destiny and all that God has given me to do on earth. It would be impossible to describe the resistance and opposition along the way. Some days it was so loud, I had all I could do not to quit just to get relief from it. But deep down I KNEW if I stayed in the game long enough God would see me through and I would come forth not only purified but with greater authority.
IT’S TIME! It’s time to take back ground that has been lost in families. I get numerous messages each week from parents around the globe being bullied, attacked and held hostage by the enemy. They are overwhelmed, scared and feel powerless to help their children. Issues such as sexual violation, attacks on their gender, divorce, online predators, death, sickness, anger, drugs, tormenting spirit of fear, walls, runaways, disrespect, orphan mindsets, lies, hurts, offenses, bitterness, trauma are attacking many homes. I am passionate that Jesus died for ALL of the keys, and there is nothing we endure on earth that Jesus does not have a solution and answer for but this year feels like a tipping point for me and Let the Children Fly.
IT’S TIME! It is time to awaken parents to their God-given authority in the family. It is time to stop being bullied in the spiritual realm. It is time to give children the weapons of heaven. It is time to walk in the power Jesus died for. It is time to empower this generation with the power and authority of Christ. It is time to link arms with other parents and destroy the isolation. It is time to rise up and protect our children from the war on their identity. It is time to deal with our own childhood issues so that we do not parent from that place. It is time to stay NO MORE to the sexualization of our children. It is time to raise our voices in our child’s school regarding sexual education. It is time to align parents as Sons and Daughters. It is time to encounter the Father as a household and build stories together.
Who is coming with me? This is the year we are going to defeat the works of the devil in our family room and align our families with His power, love and purpose.
It was intense… I woke up one day and couldn’t figure out what was going on. It felt like the cartoon picture of a swarm of hornets attacking endlessly, and it lasted all day long. I felt pressure from all sides with no explanation or purpose. It was so intense I literally could not work or do much of anything. I tried to busy myself to manage and endure whatever was happening. I can honestly say I have never experienced anything like that in all my life. The only emotion that I could identify with it was profound discouragement. I knew if I quit, I would feel better. The next morning, I woke up, and all was blue skies again. I felt led to ask, “Jesus, yesterday was insanely intense. I have no grid for what any of that was. Is there anything You want me to know?” and I heard Him say this, “There was a full-on assault against You yesterday” (yeah, the swarming hornets = full-on assault). I asked about what and heard the word “RAID.” I looked it up: a raid is a military tactic with a specific mission. It is not to capture but about using shock and awe to get your enemy to retreat to their previous line.
I love the concept of purity rings, where parents purchase a ring and give it to their daughter over a meaningful weekend, inviting her to guard her purity. I think all parents should take their child’s sexual purity seriously. However, I began to see over the years that the purity ring concept was actually setting the child up for greater failure. When a teen fails to resist temptation, they build a wall with their parents because it isn’t just about their choice but about profoundly disappointing their parents, who had created such high expectations. Purity shouldn’t be a pass/fail but rather a lifestyle of good choices. I think it is wise to keep the bar high (really high) when it comes to teaching, equipping, and empowering our children with their sexual health; however, we live in a culture that is so flamboyantly sexualized. When we teach purity, we also need to be taught HOW to take our mistakes, failure, and sin and bring it to God. Fear, shame, and pride keep us in our sin, while confession, humility, and honesty bring restoration. Moral failure is a top reason why teens fall away from God. They feel like they have committed a fatal sin and are now separated from God. While it is true sexual immorality does have profound ramifications that affect our mind, body, and spirit, it is only God who can heal and restore what was lost. We aren’t expecting our teens to crash the car once they get their license, but it is wise to give them instructions on what to do in case of an accident so that they are empowered should they find themselves in that mess.
I once asked a girl in her young 20s what contributed to her choice to remain pure despite continuous pressure. She told me how her parents laid the foundation by teaching her the power of sex, attraction, and moral health and then presented it in a way that empowered her that her daily choices were guarding herself FOR something and not just AGAINST something. One is empowering, and the other one is merely obeying a command through resistance. Ex. For the person dieting, they will be much more successful if they make a choice not to eat the cake BECAUSE they have their eyes fixed on a higher goal of denying themselves now SO THAT they can fit into their jeans down the road. The JOY of the future is what helped them to say NO to the cake today. They wanted their jeans more than the cake. Another person diets simply by denying themselves in a self-condemning, shameful way of managing resistance, which only stirs up the desire for cake even more. It is rooted in willpower, “I can’t,” and rules. This isn’t a recipe for success, longevity, or real transformation. I was inspired to keep the concept of the purity ring for my girls but to do it FOR their future husbands. I took them out, and we talked about purity (not sex ed, but the purity of their mind, body, dress, heart, emotions, and relationships), and then we each picked out a tie for their future husbands. They are placed where they can see them daily and are reminded that he is a living human being on earth today. They pray for him, think about him, and some are even keeping a journal about him (wondering, dreaming, and praying for him). This establishes that they are guarding their purity FOR HIM. My daughter came home one day, expressing an interest in a boy at school. I asked, “Is that the boy you have been praying for?” and instantly, she realized, “NO!”