From the mouths of babes. A mom was troubled by her daughter’s ongoing anxiety and worry. Every night she would declare how awful she is going to sleep, and it would put her into a bad cycle with so much angst and worry in her voice. I taught her how to teach her daughter to take authority over it and this is what her daughter said, “I like that, filling me with peace. I’m going to sleep well tonight.”
I sensed something in my spirit – the kind of thing that makes you very alert. I fully trust that Father God has my back and lets me know what I need to know in order to protect my family. It was discovered that a homeless camp nearby was recently broken up, and some of them have made our backyard their resting place (including under my porch). After talking with the neighbor, we learned they attempted to enter her home. Fear – cold as ice fear – had every ‘right’ to reign, but I know too much about fear to give it room. The following night, fear tapped me on the shoulder almost hourly, waking me from a deep sleep. I would get out of bed, turn the lights on/off and use my authority over it. Fear is a lie that says God isn’t in control and isn’t able to help me. It makes me MAD that fear was knocking so hard at the door of my mind, heart, and family, but I refuse – REFUSE – to let it in. Every and any time it knocked, I would say, “Fear, I will not and do not partner with you. I command you to go now in Jesus’ name.” The following night I handed our safety over to the Father, turned off all the lights, and slept like a baby. We welcome the very thing we fear when we partner with it. This is my home, and I have a legal right to stand firm and not answer the door. Whatever door the spirit of fear is knocking on in your life, rise up and declare, “Not in my house! You are not welcome here,” and then invite Holy Spirit to come as your Protector and Defender.
We do not manage fear. We do not become a slave to overcome it. We do not coddle fear. We use our authority OVER it so that it is resolved once and for all. I see so many parents living life managing their fear. This is spiritual orphan living and a recipe for defeat. Christ died to give you authority over fear. I declare that it can be resolved and dissolved in your life!
A dad came to me for parent coaching because they were having issues with their son. While the son was indeed behaving in a way that brought great chaos, as we partnered with Holy Spirit, it revealed a significant trauma the dad went through as a young boy. I watched as this adult man walked through the very hard and painful healing process. My heart swelled with pride for his yes to do the hard heart work and fight for his freedom. Months later, they returned, still having issues with their son. Again, after partnering with Holy Spirit, it was revealed that a family secret was affecting not one but three generations. I watched as this dad continued to press into the hard and uncomfortable emotions to fight for freedom, not just for himself but for his own father. I was undone with emotion when I heard of the events that unfolded once he was willing to expose secrets and bring healing. So much breakthrough. I respect this father so much for his willingness to engage and be wildly uncomfortable as God was doing a good work in their family. I asked what his motivation was for pressing and showing up over and over. With tears in his eyes, he said, “For my children. If my father had fought half this hard, I wouldn’t have had the life I did. I do it for my children.”
Dads, may you do whatever it takes to fight for freedom for your family.
I do not mean a bad day, but a season where you weren’t sure you would make it? A season where pain, words, betrayal, disappointment, and discouragement knocked you down so low, you weren’t sure you would ever rise again? Yeah, that season. We must must must forgive the people who are on their journey and say and do things out of an orphan place, but after true forgiveness comes a season of rebuilding what was lost or stolen in the previous season. Sometimes we get thrown into the pit and bound up. Not because of something we have done but what was done to us. It may not be our fault, but it is our responsibility to get back up. So many of you have walked through brutal chapters in your story, and your hearts have found peace again, but in the midst of the battle, you have lost your voice, confidence, and empowerment. There is nothing wrong with you being in this season, as long as you are owning your journey and not allowing it as an excuse to stay down or quiet. The world needs YOU at your fullest, and you owe it to yourself to keep fighting, climbing, believing, and clinging to Him. You will find your voice, confidence, and empowerment again, but with a renewed sense of resolve because you have overcome great odds!
Giving up control-based parenting does not mean giving up your God-given authority. It does not mean the child is in control, nor does it mean they get to make the decisions.
I believe this is what His original design for family was supposed to look and operate like.
From my sweet friend: “I taught my eldest son (14) how to soak and listen for the voice of God about four years ago, and in doing so, he has learned how to pray in the Spirit. He went to bed and got up an hour later and asked if we could talk. He proceeded to tell me he had been soaking and needed to share with me what he heard. All of a sudden he starts prophesying over me going after my heart splinters, my longing for a mother that was never fulfilled and how much that hurt and how I still long for it, and why I struggle with my stepmom is because I wanted that from her, too. It was never fulfilled… then he went on to speak about the hurt in her, and why she could not fulfill it. He started praying something along the lines of ‘You didn’t have anyone to mother you, but God was there, and He mothered you, which is why you can be the mother you are today.’ I have been processing ALL the things he spoke over me over the last few weeks as the Holy Spirit has shown me I have offense in my heart with my stepmom. God used my son to show me. God. Is. So. Faithful! Thank you for teaching us how to partner with the Holy Spirit in our parenting.”
For Hudson’s 8th-grade mission trip, he was offered a chance to work in the church nursery and would tell me about this boy named Micah. His parents took my parenting class, so I reached out to Kelly to tell her how precious it was that they had connected. She said Micah talks about Hudson all the time. Clearly, God was on the connection, so we decided to get them together. When Micah came running out the door to greet us, I was so taken aback by how much he looked like Hudson at that age. Their bond is precious, and I am so thankful for the scores of men who have sown into Hudson over the years and that he has a grid and understanding of what it means to sow into someone’s life. It is so fun to watch your child receive and then grow up to be the one who values passing that gift onto someone else.
There is the natural realm – all things on earth. There is the heavenly realm – all things in heaven. There is also the unseen spiritual realm that operates between the two. Have you ever walked into a room or house and felt so much love? Have you ever gone somewhere, and fear met you at the door? Someone is releasing that into the atmosphere, and you are coming into that presence. Sometimes children walk into an atmosphere and react as if it is coming from them. Those most sensitive to feeling atmospheres are often described as ‘flip of a switch’ since they can be fine one moment and a ball of emotions the next. Chances are, they walked into the atmosphere. The sensitivity to atmospheres is generally a sign they have the gift of discernment, but until one understands how to use it, they often feel like they are tossed against the waves of atmospheres all around them. I often stop and ask, “What are you feeling in the atmosphere right now?” They never cease to amaze me at how strongly they feel JUNK! We simply take authority over it. We do this with certain people, in a new situation, over their classrooms, at Wal-Mart, after an interaction with a rude person, at a restaurant, etc. I am training them to first discern the atmosphere and then second to use their authority over it.
Please remember: Fear is a liar and not everything you feel is coming from within you. You have power and authority in the name of Jesus to come out from under that fear.
I had four days to find a home, and on our last day, I had resolved in my heart that it was not going to happen on this trip. I often say that I am not shopping for a home, but peace shopping and nothing was bringing me peace. I arrived at a meeting a few minutes earlier and began to scroll through the pages of available houses while sitting in the parking lot. A brand-new home popped up, and I sent them a message, fully confident I would encounter the typical robot responses. Instead, the owner replied, saying we could come the following day, but I was flying out that morning. He said I could come right now, but I couldn’t get out of this important ministry meeting. I suggested after, but he was busy then. We settled on a time, and I went into my meeting. When we got into the car, I looked up the address, and it was another 30 minutes south of our hotel. I was tired and frankly done with looking at homes. I just wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. I mentioned to Ellie that I was going to cancel the showing, and she said, “No way. You can’t do that. God told me that we would get a house by the end of today, and this is our last showing before we go back home. Mom, you have to go.” In all honesty, I went simply to appease her faith.
I drove down, and the first thing I noticed was that the homes in this community did not look like Southern homes but Colorado homes, which was on my wish list. I love Colorado home builders as they just have a different style about them. We enjoyed our tour and visited with the owner, who was wonderful (another thing on my wish list). He let me know that another application was already from the people coming to see it the following day. I resolved to submit to the process even though we were flying out in the am. I got in the car and heard God say, “Do you want it?” I pondered for a moment and said, “Yeah, I think I do,” and heard Him reply, “Then fight for it.” I don’t have a competitive bone in my body and would never fight for a house if someone else had an application in, but at the Lord’s leading, I left the owner a message telling him our journey and asked if he would give me favor by allowing us to have the house. By that evening, we were under contract!
I would not have even gone to the appointment had it not been for what the Lord spoke to Ellie in the morning and her resilience to let Him move. Teach your child how to hear the voice of their Father. Encourage your child how to stand on His word. Train yourself on how to follow His leading through your children.
