DOES GOD WANT TO SPEAK TO ME?

DOES GOD WANT TO SPEAK TO ME?

  • Hearing God's Voice, Heart Splinters

DOES GOD WANT TO SPEAK TO ME?

This question is crucial for your walk with Jesus. Now that we have established through Scripture that God DOES communicate, we have to settle this question, “Does God want to speak to ME?”

We can have all the right theology we want, but if we can’t receive it, then it becomes head knowledge and not our experience. I believe this is where many people are stuck. They believe He speaks and long to have deeper intimacy yet are frustrated by the lack of personal experience. I call this ‘Holy dissatisfaction’ when you KNOW there is more but aren’t there yet. It is a genuinely challenging season to steward as this is where many quit and conclude He isn’t real, powerful, or cares about them.

People have an easy time believing that God loves the whole wide world; the red, yellow, the black, and white as the childhood song goes, but don’t grasp the depth in which He loves THEM until they begin to hear what He has to say to them personally.

Our experiences on earth teach us that we aren’t good enough, special or worthy enough to have His attention or affection. We have experienced unloving situations with people who were supposed to love and engage with our hearts. It is easy to believe that God loves the people around you, but a harder thing to have the faith and confidence you are included in that group.

God knew when He knit our children together that they would project their early experiences onto Him. He hands His creation over to imperfect people because He trusts Himself to work out the kinks in our heart and view of Him. My dad was good at providing and was the life of the party yet liked to keep things simple. I longed to connect deeper. I transferred that belief to Father God. He was good, and provided for me, but didn’t want to embrace me, hold me or be too involved in my life. My mom was great at creating special touches around the home and celebrating others yet was irrational with her emotional responses at times. I transferred that to Holy Spirit, fearing that He would be out of control and unpredictable.

I think one of the reasons people fear the ‘charismatic’ movement isn’t because they are against the Spirit of God, but because they had moms who didn’t know how to manage their emotions and are afraid Holy Spirit will suddenly become unpredictable, too.

Stop for a moment and write out three words to describe your dad and then for your mom (warm, cold, loving, giving, removed, happy, giving, unavailable). Now ask yourself if that summarizes your experience with God, Jesus or Holy Spirit. We know it isn’t the truth about God’s heart or character but is that your belief about Him based on experience?

The goal is never to blame our parents but to make sure we aren’t operating out of unhealthy belief systems that were transferred to God, Jesus or Holy Spirit out of our experiences with them. Freedom never comes from blame; it comes from TRUTH. John 8:32 – “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Let’s face it. I mess up at times as a mother. I blow it, miss it and flub it. When I go back to the kids and confess my sin, I add, “Do you know that Holy Spirit would never overreact like that? He never gets impatient with you or fails to understand your heart. Holy Spirit is so trustworthy and kind; He sees and knows every part about you.” I do this so that my humanness doesn’t become the view that they attach to Holy Spirit.

Why is this a big deal? Because when a child goes through a hard event at the hands of their parent or family, it hurts, but what creates lasting wounds is that they believe their Creator is the same way. It is hard to have hope, feel loved and secure when you have a belief that you are unlovable and unworthy even to the One who created you.

Ask:

“Jesus, what lie do I believe about Your Father’s heart toward me?”

“Father God, will You please show me a picture of how much You love me?”

THUMBS UP

I love having the kids ask Jesus what He thinks of them in all situations. Doing this has helped to break off lies and continues to keep their identity solid in Him. While my girls would always hear sweet things, my son would say, “Good!” when I would ask him what he heard. “How does Jesus feel about you?” “Good!” I would have him ask again and even reminded him that the God of the universe who created the entire world had more to say than “Good!” However, Holy Spirit told me to stop doing this as my son heard correctly and simply communicated it in his own way. If he asked Jesus how He felt about him and saw Jesus giving him thumbs up in his mind, he interpreted that as ‘good.’ I realized I needed to back off and let him hear from God in his own way because when the God of the universe says “Good!” it is good indeed!

WHAT SETS US FREE

A child grows up with parents who do not know who they are, so they aren’t able to teach the child who they are. There are heart splinters left to be resolved, and the child grows up bitter, judgemental, and blaming their parents for their failures and mistakes. Obviously, this is not a path we want to choose. But another group of people with the same experiences have concluded, “Well, they did the best they could.” It sounds mature and full of grace to say that, but the adult child is still struggling profoundly. Our minds need to have answers, and we begin to draw conclusions to help us feel empowered, even in hurt and pain. To say, “Well, they did the best they could,” is a coping mechanism to make us feel better about the hurt and lack we have endured. God says the truth sets us free, and I believe He wants us to walk in the middle of both of these responses. You can’t heal what you can’t acknowledge. Honor covers the offender, knowing that they are on their journey, but it doesn’t look like silence. You can’t change what you don’t want to see. Freedom doesn’t come from blaming your parents. Freedom comes from acknowledging that something was out of alignment and partnering with God to restore it.

LOVE IS A VERB

I was teaching parents about identity and how to call it out in children. This is a testimony from a father in the class. Why not give it a try yourself and allow your children to be a source of rich encouragement to those around them?

“Today, I used these ideas to have my girls express love to their cousin by writing encouragement cards with statements or Scriptures and leaving them hidden in various parts of her room. I asked the girls to listen to hear from God what He wanted their cousin to know or be encouraged.”

FAMILY IS A CIRCLE

Many of us were taught that the Biblical picture of the family is God, father, mother, and child, in that order of authority and rank. That is not the full view of God’s purpose for FAMILY. God should always be the center of all we do, including marriage and parenting. Yes, parents hold authority, covering, and wisdom above the child, but the part that is missing is that God knits together a child and sends them into your family to BLESS you. We receive from them just as much as they receive from us. As parents, we diligently teach and train our children. God uses our children to teach and train the parts of us that are out of alignment (generally from our own lack in childhood). Just like a child who is told to honor and obey their parents, we must receive the teaching and training God is giving us through our children. A better picture of how God intended family to operate would be a circle. Parents empower children using their wisdom, knowledge, and maturity. Children reveal what is in a parent that needs to come into alignment to increase capacity, abundance, and fruit.

A mom wrote: “I’ve realized this year just how much having children pushes on and exposes my childhood trauma. I have been facing brokenness I never knew existed until kids. It is HARD!! I so wish I could have gotten healing before I had kids! I hate that they are the victims of my process!”

My response to all parents – Oh, sweet friend. No, no, no, they are not victims of your process. God knew before He knit them together what you did/didn’t receive. He knit them together in HIS image, but with you in mind. It is God’s love for you that your children carry something that touches that part in you that needs healing and alignment. This is called FAMILY by God’s design. If you make a mess, you need to make it right with them, but there is nothing but grace in the process. Staying that way long term and hardening yourself to growth is how we pass it on to the next generation. But seeing our messy places AND doing something about it is GLORIOUS. You are allowing Him to crash in those places. Your children lack nothing because God is working this out. Your breakthrough is their inheritance. He is covering you today, sweet one!

DEFEATING THE WORKS OF THE ENEMY

These testimonies touch me to the core. God saved my life years ago for a purpose and reason. Our Heart Splinters book is helping scores of families around the globe defeat the works of the devil and usher in great freedom.

“I have been participating in Let the Children Fly ministry for almost six years and have five kids that are either adopted from foster care or have a parent not in their lives due to abuse. I ordered the Heart Splinters book, and it has been an amazing tool for me as a parent to help my kids resolve the trauma in their lives!!!”

Heart Splinters BOOK – Let the Children Fly

LOOK AT THE HEART

Oh, that we would grasp this revelation and run our homes and churches to reflect the Father’s heart.

Hudson has been a bear – like the mean grizzly kind. He would not heed the multiple warnings and continued to operate out of disrespect for all of those around him. Finally, in frustration, someone walked away and said they could no longer be around him. He found himself disconnected from the group. The next morning as he was cleaning up his mess, he created another one, but this one had serious consequences. I was so frustrated as I felt like we kept putting out fires but never getting to the source. I  knew I had to go deeper into getting the Lord’s heart and strategy for him, as he was clearly stuck in a cycle. As we asked Jesus, he said he wanted revenge (which is exactly how he was acting). We asked Jesus to show us what he wanted revenge for, and he started crying. He said the girls kept ignoring him. I called a family meeting, and we began to realize that we thought the girls were responding because Hudson was being unkind, but in reality, the girls were the ones not being loving, and it was causing him to feel rejected and like he didn’t belong in his own family (which was the root of his behavior).

All the discipline in the world would not have addressed the real issue – the girl’s hearts. He was not the ISSUE. His behavior was simply waving a FLAG that there was an issue. I went from being so frustrated with him to being so thankful for his reaction because it alerted me to something greater for the girls.

DO YOU EVER THINK OF GOD LOOKING AT THE CROSS?

As I have focused on the Cross over the years, I have been continually struck with not just the physical torment Jesus endured but the emotional. He laid down His life of His own accord so that people do not need to endure hell and could have an intimate relationship with His Father, yet they mock, ridicule, slander, taunt, misjudge and reject Him to His face. My God, my God, how is it that You can be so full of self-control? To watch people treat Your gift, Your beloved Son, like that and not rise to anger and smite them all will forever be beyond me. And yet it is the thing that captivates me the most about who You are. So loving, kind, and patient, and all the while fully aware of what is going on. The story of the Cross is who God is today – full of tender mercy and self-control, yet fully aware of all that is going on.

DISEMPOWERED

The definition of empowerment is to give (someone) the authority or power to do something. This means you can’t empower yourself. It is something that is given or denied by someone else. This is why God puts us in families and churches with mothers and fathers who have authority over us, see the value in us, and champion what God has placed inside of us. I am not talking about when people are using their God-given authority in a healthy way. There is an appropriate time for a parent, leader, teacher, or pastor to protect those in their care by not allowing them to do something. This is healthy and a protective covering. Nor am I talking about entitlement and that people should just be able to do whatever they want when they want it and that no one can tell them “No.” I am talking about when people in authority use the tool of disempowerment to protect something in them that needs to come into alignment. I hope to bring perspective to the dynamics of what happens when parents/leaders use disempowerment as a tool to control those under them.

ORPHAN – Disempowerment removes parents/leaders from being true mothers and fathers the way God intended homes and churches to operate and therefore opens them up to the demonic simply by creating a culture that isn’t in alignment with His Kingdom. Being disempowered pulls them back into an orphan mentality.

HeartWork – Declare over yourself that you are not an orphan but a child of God. Receive it as His truth. Ask God to teach you about your identity as a Son/Daughter and make the intentional choice to embrace it.

DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS – Disempowerment can throw a person into double-mindedness. They want to honor it, but it doesn’t feel right. They talk their mind out of their emotions and their emotions out of their mind. It creates a cycle that is so inner focus that it consumes them. “I love them,” “I can’t understand why they don’t believe in me,” “I see how powerful they are,” “What’s wrong with me?” They have a very hard time reconciling their mind and heart because they are both screaming two different things. The Bible says a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. It is hard for someone to be confident and full of courage when your mind and heart are not in alignment with each other.

HeartWork – Put your hand on your heart and declare out loud, “I am not crazy. I am not unloving. There is nothing wrong with me. I command my mind to align right now with the mind of Christ, in Jesus’ name.”

COVERING – Disempowering someone puts the wrong kingdom covering over that child/person. The nature of empowerment is authority. When someone (falsely) takes it from you, it leaves you vulnerable to the enemy because it is by Christ’s work on the Cross that we are all empowered with authority to walk who He has called us to be.

HeartWork – Picture heavy football shoulder pads that were placed on you as a covering to keep you inoperable. Instead of trying to lift the heavy weight off, you just come from under it. Prophetically you might want to physically move your body out from under the weight of the wrong covering and align yourself with the covering of Jesus. 

STUNTS GROWTH – Being disempowerment removes the protective covering that allows for mistakes and messes while maturing. There is no learning curve and without it, children/people are crippled in making choices because they know they can’t do it perfectly, so they shy away from trying.

HeartWork – Picture a measuring stick that was placed next to you and told you that you do not measure up. Ask Jesus what tool He wants you to use to break the measuring stick. Go ahead and do that with Him. Then ask Him to show you His measuring stick and ask Holy Spirit to convict you when you are returning to the old measuring stick of man. 

SHAME – Disempowerment isn’t God’s tool so it will never make sense to the human mind and heart, but they attempt to reconcile the question “what is wrong with me?” (When in fact, there is nothing wrong with them). Some can spend a lifetime attempting to answer this question.

HeartWork – The greatest way to overcome shame is self-compassion. When I am feeling slimed by shame, I put my hand on my heart and say, “Lisa, I am right here. I am not leaving you. Let’s do this together.” I turn into a puddle of love because I am accepting myself. Ask yourself, “What do I need to hear?” and then speak it over yourself often. 

INTROSPECTION – Disempowerment hands the person a mirror and forces them to be critical of themselves, not knowing where they went wrong or how to make it better. An awkward awareness of self follows you around unsure if you will make the same mistake again with others, yet you aren’t fully aware of what mistake you made in the first place.

HeartWork – Go to the thrift store and buy a mirror. Place a tarp or sheet on the ground and smash the mirror, declaring that you no longer have the job of constantly staring in the mirror, wondering if and where you are wrong. Hand over the job to Jesus, and trust He can lead you. Years ago, God showed me a picture of Jesus and me dancing on the dance floor. He told me that it was His job to watch when I was too close to the edge, not mine. My job was to enjoy the dance with Him and trust He knows how to lead me. 

REJECTION – The greatest form of rejection is when someone dismisses the gifts inside of you because it is the very reason why you were created.

HeartWork – This may sound insensitive to some, and that is not my heart. We never figure out what God is doing by what we see the devil doing, but can we, just for a moment, laugh at how utterly hard the enemy tries to disqualify your voice and gifts? Why would he be so afraid and intimidated by what you carry inside of you? You may feel like a fragile baby bird, but the truth is you are made in the image of God, are related to Jesus Christ, and have the Holy Spirit of God inside of you. That makes you a force to be reckoned with, and it is time you start to see yourself the way your Creator sees you, not the way the enemy has tried to devour you. 

IDOL – Disempowerment puts the focus on the one in authority in an idol state and is always unhealthy for all parties. It makes their stamp of approval the goal rather than what God is doing and saying in that person’s life. The more it is withheld, the more the person craves it, and the idol grows. It is a vicious cycle and trap of the enemy to get one’s eyes off Jesus. Idol worship is empty and lacks the ability to produce fruit.

HeartWork – Picture yourself entangled in a ball of yarn wrapped all around you. The more you wiggle to get free, the more entangled you become. Ask Jesus to come with His scissors to cut you free from the spider web of pleasing man and the emptiness of not getting it. Step out from the pile of yarn, and do not re-wrap yourself back where Jesus has just cut you free. 

JUDGEMENT – I found this part very interesting. When there is idol worship there will be a lack of peace. The enemy often hands a person the tool of judgment to fight it off with. I have seen this countless times as people have battled disempowerment and then become seduced with judgment. Their minds try hard to slap it back into honor and love, but eventually, they give away and push back the disempowerment with judgment. The very person they so deeply wanted to know who believed in them suddenly becomes the worst person on earth, and judgments are made about who they are, their intentions, and credibility. This is so sad because they move from being disempowered to judgmental, which continues to hinder them.

HeartWork – Forgive the parent/leader who told you they didn’t believe in you, who didn’t value your gifts, and didn’t find you worth investing in. For many, there is great grief and sadness as the person in authority is generally someone you cared a great deal about (parent/leader). 

You can’t steward the position of disempowerment well enough because it is not your identity or God-given place. There is only ONE way out of disempowerment. Forgiveness. Forgive the parent/leader who told you they didn’t believe in you, who didn’t value your gifts, and who didn’t find you worth investing in. For many, there is great grief and sadness as the person in authority is generally someone you care a great deal about (parent/leader). Give your heart a voice in walking this out and allowing God to restore your authority!

THE TWO GREATEST GIFTS

The number one thing I hear my children thank me for is teaching them how to hear God. We had a long season where they were learning and growing. We practiced and strengthened their spiritual muscle of hearing (just like reading the Word, worshiping, or praying). I was teaching them that He is safe, good, and trustworthy. In the beginning, it was never about the fruit; it was about building a relationship with Him so that they knew He was there in their time of need. They have repeatedly witnessed Him speaking, showing up, leading, guiding, correcting, healing, loving, encouraging, and helping them. With all of the parenting methods out there today, I am convinced the two greatest gifts I can give my children are knowing how to hear their Father and helping them resolve hurts, lies, and offenses.

Grab your copy today: Conversations with our Creator eBook – Let the Children Fly