DO WHAT IT TAKES
Parents, do what it takes so your children don’t reap the fruit of your wounds and hurts.
DO WHAT IT TAKES
DO WHAT IT TAKES
- Encouragement, Heart Splinters
BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY
Black Sheep – a family member who stands out for being odd and different. They go against the flow of the family, often causing issues. The term has to do with sheep having white wool, and the one that has black wool not only stands out but typically has less value. They have been judged to have ‘less value’ alone, which tells us this term is not the right kingdom. Typically, the child who rebels against the family’s operating system does so with anger, resistance, attitudes, and conflict because they are young and immature and do not yet have the communication or skill sets to address the issues they are coming up against. But just because their delivery is flawed doesn’t mean WHAT they are trying to say is wrong. Countless times in coaching sessions, parents will come to me with the one child who brings so much chaos into the home. After we explore the situation with Holy Spirit, we learn that the child is rebelling against something in the parent that needs to come into alignment. God knits our children in HIS image, but with us in mind. Let’s not be so quick to label a child as the black sheep when God is using the purity of their heart to align something in us. Maybe they aren’t the ‘black sheep’ but the HERO of your story!
FAMILY IS A CIRCLE
Many of us were taught that the Biblical picture of the family is God, father, mother, and child, in that order of authority and rank. That is not the full view of God’s purpose for FAMILY. God should always be the center of all we do, including marriage and parenting. Yes, parents hold authority, covering, and wisdom above the child, but the part that is missing is that God knits together a child and sends them into your family to BLESS you. We receive from them just as much as they receive from us. As parents, we diligently teach and train our children. God uses our children to teach and train the parts of us that are out of alignment (generally from our own lack in childhood). Just like a child who is told to honor and obey their parents, we must receive the teaching and training God is giving us through our children. A better picture of how God intended family to operate would be a circle. Parents empower children using their wisdom, knowledge, and maturity. Children reveal what is in a parent that needs to come into alignment to increase capacity, abundance, and fruit.
A mom wrote: “I’ve realized this year just how much having children pushes on and exposes my childhood trauma. I have been facing brokenness I never knew existed until kids. It is HARD!! I so wish I could have gotten healing before I had kids! I hate that they are the victims of my process!”
My response to all parents – Oh, sweet friend. No, no, no, they are not victims of your process. God knew before He knit them together what you did/didn’t receive. He knit them together in HIS image, but with you in mind. It is God’s love for you that your children carry something that touches that part in you that needs healing and alignment. This is called FAMILY by God’s design. If you make a mess, you need to make it right with them, but there is nothing but grace in the process. Staying that way long term and hardening yourself to growth is how we pass it on to the next generation. But seeing our messy places AND doing something about it is GLORIOUS. You are allowing Him to crash in those places. Your children lack nothing because God is working this out. Your breakthrough is their inheritance. He is covering you today, sweet one!
VARIETY OF SEASONS
Some parents are in crisis with their children and are desperate for new tools, while others are simply hungry for more. Some come from generations of strong believers; others are brand new to the faith. Some have teenagers or grown children; others have wee ones. There is a place for YOU. Your family is worth it. YOU are worth it.
You can register here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly
NEW MAMA
Testimony from our online Kingdom parenting class: “I’ve had blinders removed the last few years, and I am so thankful for the changes God’s instilling in my heart, mind, and behavior, so I have to share how ‘Let the Children Fly’ Kingdom living and teaching has affected my life and my children’s lives. When I look at the road behind me, I can see huge areas of His grace, peace, and love forming my choices instead of anger, punishment, and shame in my parenting. I love parenting this way!”
PARENTING TOOLS
Parents, you are not powerless to help your child! You might need some additional tools, but you are not powerless. Nothing is wrong with you that your child is screaming out for help. Let’s get you some more tools so that you can go after these issues in childhood.
BACKWARDS
I will be so bold to say that we have it a bit backward. We teach our children about the written Word first, yet when they are in scary situations, they aren’t flipping through their memory bank to find Scripture to apply to their situation. I believe that the focus for raising spiritually strong children needs to be on leading them into encounters with His presence and hearing God speaking to them. We, as parents, should test it against our knowledge of the Scriptures and lead accordingly. When kids experience God (His voice, His love, His peace), this focuses on the relationship first, not merely memorizing Scriptures or reciting the ‘rules.’ What would this generation look like if they were equipped with tools to stand firmly when the enemy comes? What if, at the age of six (and younger), they were TAUGHT and TRAINED by YOU to use tools needed to ward off the hurts that often become adult-sized wounds? You are investing in THE most priceless gift for your child. Do not be quick to give up or give in on your privilege to teach, equip and train your child in this area.
DISAPPOINTMENT ANTIDOTE
Ever feel disappointed? Listen to this podcast to hear the antidote to counter disappointment.
Disappointment Antidote by Lisa Max – Let the Children Fly! (anchor.fm)
WHAT DO YOU HAVE FAITH FOR?
Many of you know our incredible housing testimony of years ago. It was an incredible faith walk that inspired many to increase their trust in God. The moment our house sold, a wise mentor said to me, “Lisa, now what do you have faith for?” I remember telling him I didn’t want to return to that place of utter faith. It was scary, and I wanted to go back to a place of comfort and security. He encouraged me that God just grew my capacity to trust Him and to take that trust and pour it into the next thing so that my faith and dependence would become a lifestyle and not just an event in scary times. Whoa! I began to journal… “Lord, I have faith in the air I breathe (like seriously, I never worry or think about it. I just do it naturally). I have faith for water. I have faith that You love me. I have faith that I will always have clothes on my back. I have faith that You are my Savior. I have faith that You care about my housing needs. I have faith that You want to raise these children with me.”
I was walking down the areas I already had great faith in and was allowing Him to build my trust for more. One of my greatest responses when life throws me curveballs, ups, and downs, is to ask, “Lisa, do you have faith in God for this situation?” It feels like a renewal of my vows each time. Yes, Lord, I have faith and trust in You for this particular situation.