DISEMPOWERED

DISEMPOWERED

  • Authority, Heart Splinters

DISEMPOWERED

The definition of empowerment is to give (someone) the authority or power to do something. This means you can’t empower yourself. It is something that is given or denied by someone else. This is why God puts us in families and churches with mothers and fathers who have authority over us, see the value in us, and champion what God has placed inside of us. I am not talking about when people are using their God-given authority in a healthy way. There is an appropriate time for a parent, leader, teacher, or pastor to protect those in their care by not allowing them to do something. This is healthy and a protective covering. Nor am I talking about entitlement and that people should just be able to do whatever they want when they want it and that no one can tell them “No.” I am talking about when people in authority use the tool of disempowerment to protect something in them that needs to come into alignment. I hope to bring perspective to the dynamics of what happens when parents/leaders use disempowerment as a tool to control those under them.

ORPHAN – Disempowerment removes parents/leaders from being true mothers and fathers the way God intended homes and churches to operate and therefore opens them up to the demonic simply by creating a culture that isn’t in alignment with His Kingdom. Being disempowered pulls them back into an orphan mentality.

HeartWork – Declare over yourself that you are not an orphan but a child of God. Receive it as His truth. Ask God to teach you about your identity as a Son/Daughter and make the intentional choice to embrace it.

DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS – Disempowerment can throw a person into double-mindedness. They want to honor it, but it doesn’t feel right. They talk their mind out of their emotions and their emotions out of their mind. It creates a cycle that is so inner focus that it consumes them. “I love them,” “I can’t understand why they don’t believe in me,” “I see how powerful they are,” “What’s wrong with me?” They have a very hard time reconciling their mind and heart because they are both screaming two different things. The Bible says a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. It is hard for someone to be confident and full of courage when your mind and heart are not in alignment with each other.

HeartWork – Put your hand on your heart and declare out loud, “I am not crazy. I am not unloving. There is nothing wrong with me. I command my mind to align right now with the mind of Christ, in Jesus’ name.”

COVERING – Disempowering someone puts the wrong kingdom covering over that child/person. The nature of empowerment is authority. When someone (falsely) takes it from you, it leaves you vulnerable to the enemy because it is by Christ’s work on the Cross that we are all empowered with authority to walk who He has called us to be.

HeartWork – Picture heavy football shoulder pads that were placed on you as a covering to keep you inoperable. Instead of trying to lift the heavy weight off, you just come from under it. Prophetically you might want to physically move your body out from under the weight of the wrong covering and align yourself with the covering of Jesus. 

STUNTS GROWTH – Being disempowerment removes the protective covering that allows for mistakes and messes while maturing. There is no learning curve and without it, children/people are crippled in making choices because they know they can’t do it perfectly, so they shy away from trying.

HeartWork – Picture a measuring stick that was placed next to you and told you that you do not measure up. Ask Jesus what tool He wants you to use to break the measuring stick. Go ahead and do that with Him. Then ask Him to show you His measuring stick and ask Holy Spirit to convict you when you are returning to the old measuring stick of man. 

SHAME – Disempowerment isn’t God’s tool so it will never make sense to the human mind and heart, but they attempt to reconcile the question “what is wrong with me?” (When in fact, there is nothing wrong with them). Some can spend a lifetime attempting to answer this question.

HeartWork – The greatest way to overcome shame is self-compassion. When I am feeling slimed by shame, I put my hand on my heart and say, “Lisa, I am right here. I am not leaving you. Let’s do this together.” I turn into a puddle of love because I am accepting myself. Ask yourself, “What do I need to hear?” and then speak it over yourself often. 

INTROSPECTION – Disempowerment hands the person a mirror and forces them to be critical of themselves, not knowing where they went wrong or how to make it better. An awkward awareness of self follows you around unsure if you will make the same mistake again with others, yet you aren’t fully aware of what mistake you made in the first place.

HeartWork – Go to the thrift store and buy a mirror. Place a tarp or sheet on the ground and smash the mirror, declaring that you no longer have the job of constantly staring in the mirror, wondering if and where you are wrong. Hand over the job to Jesus, and trust He can lead you. Years ago, God showed me a picture of Jesus and me dancing on the dance floor. He told me that it was His job to watch when I was too close to the edge, not mine. My job was to enjoy the dance with Him and trust He knows how to lead me. 

REJECTION – The greatest form of rejection is when someone dismisses the gifts inside of you because it is the very reason why you were created.

HeartWork – This may sound insensitive to some, and that is not my heart. We never figure out what God is doing by what we see the devil doing, but can we, just for a moment, laugh at how utterly hard the enemy tries to disqualify your voice and gifts? Why would he be so afraid and intimidated by what you carry inside of you? You may feel like a fragile baby bird, but the truth is you are made in the image of God, are related to Jesus Christ, and have the Holy Spirit of God inside of you. That makes you a force to be reckoned with, and it is time you start to see yourself the way your Creator sees you, not the way the enemy has tried to devour you. 

IDOL – Disempowerment puts the focus on the one in authority in an idol state and is always unhealthy for all parties. It makes their stamp of approval the goal rather than what God is doing and saying in that person’s life. The more it is withheld, the more the person craves it, and the idol grows. It is a vicious cycle and trap of the enemy to get one’s eyes off Jesus. Idol worship is empty and lacks the ability to produce fruit.

HeartWork – Picture yourself entangled in a ball of yarn wrapped all around you. The more you wiggle to get free, the more entangled you become. Ask Jesus to come with His scissors to cut you free from the spider web of pleasing man and the emptiness of not getting it. Step out from the pile of yarn, and do not re-wrap yourself back where Jesus has just cut you free. 

JUDGEMENT – I found this part very interesting. When there is idol worship there will be a lack of peace. The enemy often hands a person the tool of judgment to fight it off with. I have seen this countless times as people have battled disempowerment and then become seduced with judgment. Their minds try hard to slap it back into honor and love, but eventually, they give away and push back the disempowerment with judgment. The very person they so deeply wanted to know who believed in them suddenly becomes the worst person on earth, and judgments are made about who they are, their intentions, and credibility. This is so sad because they move from being disempowered to judgmental, which continues to hinder them.

HeartWork – Forgive the parent/leader who told you they didn’t believe in you, who didn’t value your gifts, and didn’t find you worth investing in. For many, there is great grief and sadness as the person in authority is generally someone you cared a great deal about (parent/leader). 

You can’t steward the position of disempowerment well enough because it is not your identity or God-given place. There is only ONE way out of disempowerment. Forgiveness. Forgive the parent/leader who told you they didn’t believe in you, who didn’t value your gifts, and who didn’t find you worth investing in. For many, there is great grief and sadness as the person in authority is generally someone you care a great deal about (parent/leader). Give your heart a voice in walking this out and allowing God to restore your authority!

ANGRY OUTBURSTS – SAD, SCARED, LONELY

Has your child had increased outbursts of anger? This can be a very challenging thing to parent because of the mess anger can make emotionally and with connection. However, I encourage you to ask Holy Spirit to give you eyes to see what is UNDER the anger. Typically, under anger are the emotions of being sad, scared, or lonely. If you can ask Holy Spirit to show you, you will be able to minister to their real heart instead of just managing their behavior. 

P.S. This isn’t just for kids!

HE IS FAITHFUL

This is an excellent statement from a mom in class: “He is faithful to answer your parenting questions AND help you work out your childhood hurts at the same time.”

If we allow our own childhood experiences to go unresolved, it will cause us to parent from the wrong place.

INTIMIDATION

Intimidation produces shame in the receiver, questioning what is wrong with them. This wreaks havoc on their sound mind because they are battling illogical, unfounded, and absurd thoughts. God gave us a sound mind!

INTRODUCED TO FEAR

I vividly remember the day I was introduced to the fear of not being safe as a little girl. We were out of town on vacation with another family. My friend and I asked for money to walk down to the store. We laughed the whole way there and giggled the whole way back. We didn’t have a care in the world except being a child on a mission for candy. The next day we asked to go again, but this time our moms were hesitant, and you could feel something strange in the atmosphere. We continued to beg them to let us go, and finally, they shared with us that a man had done something really bad and that the police were still looking for him. They allowed us to go but firmly warned us to ‘be careful.’ Our eyes were as wide as they could be the whole way down. Fear had shut down our joy, and when we got back to the cabin, we sprinted the last few feet as if something was chasing us. I was introduced to fear that day, and it remained with me for decades. Did a man do something bad? Yes. Was he still at risk of harming others? Yes. Was there a real danger? Potentially. But what I needed as a child whose brain wasn’t fully developed was not the introduction of fear but to be empowered with HOW to keep safe. John 10:10 outlines that we all have an enemy wanting to bring harm, but the rest of the verse is how we should position our parenting. Jesus has tools to overcome every strategy of the enemy. We can camp out in fear of the enemy OR the strategy and tools of heaven – we pick. 

P.S. I am fairly certain my mom witnessed me partnering with fear in the days ahead but she just didn’t have the language or tools to help me. We can parent our children differently.

YOU NEED TIME TO GROW YOUR WOOL

Years ago, God showed me that I was still operating in a position of shame, like a black sheep (even though I know I am not one). I saw myself with black fur on me and was processing with the Lord how to get the black fur off of me. I figured He would show me how to come out from under it since it was a false garment. Instead, I had a vision where Jesus came to me like a rugged Australian sheep farmer and began to shave all of the wrong-colored wool off of me. When He was done, I was naked and automatically ran into the midst of all of the older sheep who had thick white wool. There was a sense of being protected and safe amongst them. I asked the Lord why He shaved me. He said, “You need time to grow your wool.” It is okay to be naked and vulnerable to shed our old position, operating systems, mindsets, and behaviors. It is already finished, but I was walking out my revelation of it. We need to be protected amongst healthy leaders and safe environments in our down-to-the-bone nakedness.

CELEBRATING YOU

I know this post is going to speak to a lot of you! Do you look at other people’s posts about their birthdays and long to feel that way on your special day? Yet when your day comes around, you still feel empty and sad at the end of the day? I felt that way for years and finally gave up on hope. I noticed I began to ignore it and intentionally not make a big deal out of it anymore. I hid my date on social media and pretended like it was no big deal. It wasn’t that it wasn’t important to me. It was that I didn’t want to set myself up for feeling disappointed again. BUT GOD… He took me on this incredible journey, and I experienced breakthrough on such a foundational level. Soon my birthday was approaching, and I found myself responding differently. I was giddy with excitement, had childlike joy over celebrating the day I was created and wanted to pull close those I love the most to celebrate with me. I want to walk you through what God showed me and ultimately brought one of my biggest breakthroughs in being seen, heard, and valued. Join me as we take a 10-day online adventure!  YOU are so worth celebrating!!! 

Moms & Dads – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

IT’S NOT YOU!

There is so much going on in the spiritual realm. If you are feeling overwhelmed, defeated, or like quitting, it is not you!!! This is a classic case of “on you, not in you.” Use your authority against it, and do not partner with it.

CATTLE PROD

I used to have this cycle where events would tell me that I didn’t belong. I would work it out sometimes rather fast, but it took my time and energy. Cycles can be exhausting and wear you out. I began to see this as unfruitful and pressed in further with the Lord. While it was great I could work it out in my heart, I wasn’t so sure God wanted me to be on auto-repeat with the same situation.

As I asked the Lord, I heard the word ‘cattle prod.’ Growing up around Minnesota farms, I knew what a cattle prod was but felt an invitation from the Lord to study them further. WOW! A cattle prod’s purpose is never to kill or destroy the animal; it is to CONTROL them with the purpose of getting them to MOVE IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. I asked God to show me who gave the enemy the legal right to use this tool on me, and I saw my mom. My childhood was full of pain and heart splinters, causing me to move out for good when I was in the 8th grade. But the picture He showed me was when I still lived with my family. Surprised by the time frame, God showed me that my mom would often make comments about me not belonging, or she would say, “Maybe you need to live elsewhere.” This taught me, long before I was removed from the home for good, that I didn’t belong in the circle. So fast forward to adulthood when circumstances gave me the message I didn’t belong; it was like a cattle prod in my side. It would get my attention, and I would stop doing what I was doing and spend time unpacking the hurt and lies. I always found the truth and peace again, but once I realized the root of where this was coming from, I forgave my mom for teaching me I didn’t belong and declared that tool no longer effective. I saw Jesus come to a herd of cows (and had the sense I was one of them). When He scooped me up, I morphed into a little lamb snuggled in His arms. He carried me away from the dirt and manure and brought me to the grassy field. But when He set me down, I immediately tried to run back to the herd. Why in the world would I do that if He just reduced me? He said, “Because it is familiar. You believe you are a heifer, but you are My sheep. The cattle prod is used on those who do not know who they are (identity). It is My job to keep you in the pasture, but I do not use a cattle prod to control you; I use My staff to lead you.”

The irony of the cattle prod is that it always seemed to happen right before something big in my life, and it caused me to not only stop but move in the opposite direction. Hmmm.

HeartWork – Do you have an area of your life where you feel like you get cattle prodded out of the blue, and it takes you days or weeks to find your footing again? Ask Jesus to show you what He wants you to see. Maybe this isn’t so much about you but about the enemy using past experiences to shock you into old cycles. Ask Holy Spirit to bring healing to the area you keep getting poked in and for Him to break the power of the cattle prod. You are not a heifer. You are His sheep!

HELPING EACH OTHER FIGHT – SLANDER

“When someone slanders another to us, we must remember that we are not mainly fighting flesh and blood, but spiritual forces of evil” (Ephesians 6:12). Satan knows that slander deadens and splits churches, poisons friendships, and fractures families. He knows slander quenches the Holy Spirit, kills love, short-circuits spiritual renewal, undermines trust, and sucks the courage out of the saints. So our goal, particularly in the context of the church, is to help each other shed demonic weights and avoid satanic stumbling blocks. 

So how do we do this? The best way is to become people who are not safe to slander around. We must ask each other questions like: “Have you shared your concern with this person directly? I’d be willing to go with you to talk to him. Just to be clear, is this information I should know? Do you want me to help you pursue reconciliation? Are you doing everything you possibly can to put away ‘all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander’ (Ephesians 4:31)? How can I help you guard this person’s reputation like a treasure (Proverbs 22:1)?” In other words, friends don’t let friends slander. Friends don’t let friends act like God-haters (Romans 1:30). 

“The more we love people, the more we hate slander, because a slanderer hates his victims” (Proverbs 26:28). Let us remember that we are stewards of the treasure of each other’s good names. Let us resolve to avoid sharing information that is unnecessarily damaging to another person’s reputation and to repent to everyone affected if we do. Let us seek to silence the sin nature slanderer within and graciously give and receive others’ help when one of us slips, perhaps unaware, into slander. Let us do damage to Satan’s forces by speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Let us lay aside the destructive sin-weight of slander. In an age of social media, that lacks the functional information-spreading restraints of past eras, let us be all the more slow to post (‘slow to speak’ – James 1:19) analysis, speculation, and commentary on information about another person or group, even if it has become public in our slander-saturated culture, that might eventually prove slanderous. 

“All the serious biblical warnings about slander still apply, which should make us all, especially those of us with ‘platforms,’ tremble.” – Jon Bloom. 

GENERATIONAL BLESSINGS

Do you realize that you have a mighty, mighty generational line? Each generation came from the womb, where they were knit together by Father God. Each and every one of your ancestors has left you something – something good and something not so good. The rich spiritual inheritance from ALL THE WAY BACK is yours. You can receive it. But you can also throw out the deficit that each generation has left in the spiritual realm, too. It isn’t so much that things like anger, abuse, etc. are in your ‘blood’; as much as when the door to the enemy is opened (foothold), and you are raised in an environment of trauma and fear. It is easy to adopt the same behavior because it is familiar. You have heard of the girl hating her alcoholic father and then marrying one, the child who cursed her overweight mother and then became overweight herself. Your bloodline isn’t the issue – it is the modeled and learned behavior. Christ came to realign us with our heavenly family so that we wouldn’t be held captive to the mistakes of our earthly one.