DATE WITH JESUS

DATE WITH JESUS

  • Encountering the Father, Godhead Parenting

DATE WITH JESUS

Years ago, I felt this insane craving to be alone with the Lord. I booked a hotel, got the four kids situated, and took off for my 24-hour date with Jesus. I spent my quiet alone time making my grocery list, journaling my thoughts, getting food, responding to emails, and reading a book. When it was over, I was physically refreshed but spiritually dry. I realized I treated my ‘date with Jesus’ as if I were the only one at the table and did all the talking. The second time I booked my 24-hour date with Jesus, I took nothing but my Bible, journal, and a large jug of water. My soul came alive. It was just Him and me, and I left feeling like we had spent a month together on a deserted island. I vowed I would make it a priority to get away at least twice a year.

When I became a single mom, I realized I couldn’t do it anymore because of finances. I heard God say so clearly, “Do not ever let money be a deciding factor between us,” and, in faith, I booked a hotel room on my credit card. Someone graciously took my children for the night, and I had the most glorious time with Him. There was a glitch with the hotel, and they ended up giving me the hotel for FREE. I laughed and vowed once again that I would never let anything stand in the way of my 24-hour dates with Him. Fast forward over a decade, and I am still sneaking away. There is no price tag to put on your intentional time with Him. 

PARENTING MANUAL

Picture someone baking a pie for their evening gathering with friends. Could you imagine someone else coming to take the pie out of the oven and running to the corner to consume the whole thing on their own? They would not only develop a stomachache but have robbed themselves of the joy of consuming the pie with friends and family as it was intended. Your child comes with a parenting manual, and His name is Emmanuel – God with us. I say this in love, but some of you need to repent for taking His creation and running away with it. He did not spend nine months knitting them together and ushering them into the world only to have you run away together. He desired all along that you would parent together with Him. God wants you to parent with Him, not for Him.

DIFFICULT CHILD

Most of us have a child who challenges us greatly. I want to expand your thinking a wee bit about their behavior and how it affects you. God is a perfect Father and knows what YOU need. He didn’t create that child to annoy you; He created them perfectly to BLESS you. We often act like we are the wise old ones who know everything, and these little children are clueless and must be molded to OUR image, but the Word says the little ones were knit together in HIS image. I have a child who is extremely JOYFUL – like over-the-top joyful, bouncing off the walls, high-pitched voice JOYFUL. It took me a long time to figure this out, but the goal isn’t to calm her down to be ‘mature.’ God was sending her to me so that *I* could learn to walk in more joy! I have another one who is STRONG – like crazy strong and able to lead, make decisions, and determine right from wrong. She threatens me at times. But the goal isn’t to shut her down and win every argument; the goal is to partner with her to allow her leadership to blossom. Oftentimes God gives adults, who are high-strung, children who are super mellow so that they will learn patience through the child. Or a parent who is very relaxed and mellow, a child who is go, go, go so that they can learn about becoming more disciplined. Look at the child you clash with the most and ask Holy Spirit to highlight what it is that YOU are to be learning from THEM. We can still be adults while being students of our children.

LOOKING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

“You can’t. You are a single mom.” I will honor those involved by not sharing details, but I have been told this on more than one occasion over the years. The first time was when God called me to go on a mission trip. I had no desire to go, yet He began to speak to me so clearly that I gave Him my ‘yes,’ and within a week, all the funds came in. I was told, “There is no way God would call a single mom to go.” Those words stung! I beg to differ. Jesus always went after the weak, the sick, the broken, the least of these, and those overlooked. It isn’t the ‘less than’ part that qualifies a person. It is what Jesus does IN the weakness. Our weakness simply becomes the ground in which we are aware of our need for Him. No one needs to convince a solo parent (or their children) that God’s best is a family with both a mother and father, but it is incorrect to disqualify someone based on weakness alone. Judge them based on what God does through the weakness. Man may need a perfectly polished resume to qualify you, but God does not.

I CRIED OUT AND HE SHOWED UP

This is how things got activated for me, too. I cried out, hungry for His help, and He showed up – BIG TIME. This mom shares the same thing.

“Religion is hard and forced. There is ease in our relationship with our Father as we parent His children together. I didn’t sit down and think or honestly even pray about what we needed to do; HE just started doing it through me in the moment!!! Makes parenting so much more fun!!!”

WHO IS JESUS?

I called a family meeting and told the kids to act like Jesus was in the room and had the love language of words of affirmation. We popcorn-styled, going around and around, calling out the amazing things about Jesus. His character, goodness, faithfulness, the way He loves, is so smart, etc. It stirred up our faith in who He is and anchored us in His ability. So, give it a try today. Tell Jesus who He is.

REST

Rest doesn’t mean sitting idle and doing nothing. It means getting your identity from Him, not in what you do. If rest is something you struggle with, ask, “Jesus, will You please show me what about rest makes my heart so uncomfortable?”

DRENCHED IN LOVE

How many of you could use some increased peace in your homes? The enemy cannot create anything. He takes what God has already created and twists and perverts it into something that brings hardship and harm. Anything that comes from him is a counterfeit to the real and original design. But there is one thing he can not counterfeit: peace. Anytime we experience, embrace, acknowledge, or receive His presence, we feel peace because peace is His presence. 

Teach the children – This is a super fun exercise with children that will help make the concept click for them. Take a sponge and tell them it represents their heart. There are lots of holes and they are somewhat hard, right? Now fill up a bowl of warm water and have them feel it. What does it feel like? Warm and comfortable? Could you take a bath and soak in it? Now put their ‘heart’ in the water bowl and watch what happens. Engage in the teaching by pretending the sponge is ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ over the nice, comfortable, warm water. Hold the sponge up and let them see the water pouring out. Talk to them about the concept of the sponge dripping with what it was just soaking in. Lay the sponge on the counter overnight and check it in the morning. Ask the kids to feel it now and describe how it feels. This is the term ‘soaking.’ It simply means to be still and know He is God. God’s presence is like a warm blanket wrapped around us; He always wants to embrace us. You might even want to role-play using a big comfy blanket. Make it fun and enjoyable for the children to learn about Him.

A young boy in my first mentoring class did this with his mom, and a week later, he was struggling with a bad attitude. When his mom addressed his attitude, his response was that his heart was drying out and he needed to spend time with Jesus, so he did just that.

I encourage you to spend some intentional time doing this as a family. Gather around the family room, turn off the lights and be still.

PERFECT PRESSURE

In four different parent coaching sessions, the theme was moms partnering with profound pressure to do things correctly and yet being in situations where they could not possibly achieve perfection. Jesus showed up in a similar way with each of them. When children are raised with the bar so high, they learn directly or indirectly that messes and mistakes are not acceptable. They develop a mindset that says, “God is only pleased with me when I do it right,” and while it profits them in life to be overachievers, they are missing out on HIS truth. Messes, weaknesses, and failures do not separate you from God. His truth is that when we come to Him, our weakness and lack bring intimacy and closeness. A loving parent knows that a 2-year-old will make messes, and they see it as an opportunity to offer comfort, reassurance, and help them grow in their capacity to do better next time. They do not see the child failing but rather as maturing and are honored to be a part of the process. If we only have closeness with Jesus when we are getting A’s and doing things perfectly, there will be a level of fear preventing deeper closeness because, deep down, you believe it is only because of your ‘good’ performance. There is a satisfying closeness with someone that only comes when they love you despite your failures and weakness, which is real vulnerability and closeness. If you experience this in your parenting, I encourage you to spend time with Him.

**Ask, “Jesus, will You please show me who I need to forgive for introducing me to the need to be perfect?”

**Forgive that person for directly or indirectly teaching you about perfectionism and pressure. 

**Ask, “Jesus, what lies have I believed because of the pressure to be perfect?”

**Renounce/break up with the lie. “I renounce the lie that _____.”

**Ask, “Jesus, what is Your truth?” Declare His truth over yourself daily!

MIND VS. SPIRIT

All the wisdom in the world doesn’t change a person’s heart. When I speak words of wisdom, they go from my mind to your mind; but when Holy Spirit speaks, it goes into your spirit, and that is where the real transformation occurs. One word from Jesus can change more inside of you than a 12-week course. This is why it is so crucial that we often bring our children to the Lord’s presence to ask Him what He thinks. This is creating an encounter for our children. Instead of wisdom alone guiding them, they are learning they have a relationship with the living God, who wants to help them in all situations.

ENCOUNTER HIM

Carve out some intentional time to sit with Jesus and ask the following questions. Listen and journal what He is speaking to you.

“Father, does my heart truly, sincerely want more of You?” 

“God, is there anything keeping me from going further?” 

“Jesus, is there anything in my heart that is afraid or fearful of more?” 

Next, pray this prayer: “Holy Spirit, I invite You to come and remove anything in my life that acts as a wall or barrier to going deeper with You. Remove everything that stands in the way of ALL You have for me.” After you pray, I encourage you to sit for a moment and let Him do some heart surgery. 

The following is an excerpt from Graham Cooke’s LIVING ON A HIGHER PLACE: “You are going to have to grow if you want to live with God at altitude because at a high altitude you must learn to walk at a pace that you can actually sustain. At high altitudes, you have to do everything for yourself. So high altitude, spiritually, becomes solely about your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. No one can do it for you. It has to be your walk. It has to be your worship. It has to be your faith, and it has to be your relationship with the Holy Spirit. You can’t borrow stuff from other people like you did in the valley because the way life worked in the valley does not work on the mountain. It has to be you.”