Can I give you a parenting key? Don’t just read these posts every day and say, “Amen.” Use them as conversation pieces with your family. Perhaps some days, you will call a family meeting and discuss them at length, but you can also bring them up while driving, at the dinner table, or while tucking them in at night. They don’t need the complete teaching but bite-sized nuggets to chew on. You also don’t have to have it all mastered or figured out before you can begin the discussion with them. Sometimes the best discussions are simply saying, “Hey, I read this post that talked about another child who felt fear. Have you ever felt that?” and let Holy Spirit guide your DAILY teachings and instructions of your children.
If punishment and isolation were effective leadership/parenting tools, prisons would produce the most successful people.
Ellie had a school fundraiser where she had to run a long course, and along the way, they throw colored powder on the runners. Super fun! The morning of the run, she said she was worried about running. I asked her why since she usually is quite fast and does well. She said, “I am so afraid I will come in last.” Together we asked Jesus to show her what she was so afraid of with coming in last, and she said, “People will think I am not good enough.” We talked about the truth that SOMEONE has to arrive first, and there is always someone at the end. That’s life. But we want to make sure that we aren’t carrying LIES about our worth and value if we come in first OR last. Jesus showed her that when she carries the weight of worry and anxiety, she is slowing herself down and not doing her best. I had her confess to Jesus that she was partnering with worry, and she asked Him to help her run HER best. Jesus is building her life story and had a lesson that she can choose to partner with worry and anxiety or trust Him to help her. A lesson that she will need to choose for the rest of her life.
Ponder this for a moment – EVEN IF you were perfect in all you do as a parent, you still wouldn’t be able to meet all your child’s needs. God designed it that way. There is only one God, and it is He who needs to fill certain places in a child’s heart that even the best of moms and dads can’t reach. That should encourage you that it isn’t all up to you and that you can partner together with the one and only perfect Father to parent your child.
What if, instead of focusing on our perfection in parenting, we focused on our partnering with Him? While I am indeed a parent, I see my role more so as a partner. I get the honor of partnering with the perfect Father in all that I do with my children. That is a recipe for success, even during the seasons of change and uncertainty. When my partner is all-knowing, creative, fully loving, and fully patient, with an endless supply of resources, there is bound to be good fruit. The focus isn’t on being perfect. The focus is on leading our children to the only One who has been, is, and will continue to be perfect – their Father.
While you may be going through a change, it is a lie that you are alone. On this day, God calls you His. Anchor yourself daily in this truth.
Declare this out loud, “I am not alone. God is with me.” Say it again and again and again until the eyes of your heart get it.
Hosea 2:16 (NIV) – “In that day,” declares the LORD, “you will call me ‘my husband’ you will no longer call me ‘my master.'”
Hosea 2:16 (MSG) – “At that time” – this is God’s Message still – “you’ll address me, ‘Dear husband!’ Never again will you address me, ‘My slave-master!’ I’ll wash your mouth out with soap, get rid of all the dirty false-god names, not so much as a whisper of those names again.”
As a watchman on the wall for families, I can tell you that you are one of MANY who feel flattened by circumstances and profound inner turmoil. God is purifying us – you are not alone. The topic may be different, but the battle is the same. This is God cleaning us in and out of anything that isn’t of Him. Seriously, count it pure joy that you are being so radically transformed. Do not let the enemy speak an ounce of lies to you that you are the only one, can’t handle it, or won’t make it. God’s got you, and He WILL finish the work as He prepares His Bride.
Isn’t this testimony beautiful? Be encouraged, mamas, that prayer and faith in our Almighty God works and that He cares more about your child than you ever could. “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children’s peace” (Isaiah 54:13).
“After my sons moved to Colorado, I began declaring this Scripture over them in my daily prayer times, believing that even though I could no longer be with them daily to teach them as I had before, that the Lord would be faithful to teach them. I want to share a testimony of how this happened recently. On their last visit, one of my sons told me that he had had a conversation with someone about his relationship with God and his belief in the Bible. This person told my son they didn’t think an old book should be telling us how to live our lives. My son didn’t argue with them or know what to say, but later, he said he got alone with Jesus and asked Him what He thought about that. He opened up his Bible in faith, asking God to speak to him (ok, so I did teach him that trick.) ‘Mom,’ he said, ‘the verse I opened up to was this, “the grass withers and the flowers fall but the Word of our God stands forever!” (Isaiah 40:8).’ That verse gave him all the peace and confidence he needed at that moment. I want to encourage Holy Spirit is a great teacher. He can go places we could never go and do things we could never do! I pray this is a special encouragement to someone today.”
We are not alone in our parenting. We are not given these gifts only to fend for ourselves. Instead, they have a perfect Father who so passionately wants to help us raise them, heal them, transform them, and equip them to be ALL that He designed for them. Oh, that every family in the world would see that we have a partner in our parenting!
Does this statement describe your parenting? “I carry so much guilt that I am messing my kids up due to my wounds and try to control everything.” If you are hungry to get off the merry-go-round of guilt and shame, join our online parenting journey, where I will give you tools, solutions, and activities to align your family with His. You don’t have to spend the next 18 years parenting like this. There is a better way that includes connection, peace, and joy in your home.
The number one thing I hear my children thank me for is teaching them how to hear God. We had a long season where they were learning and growing. We practiced and strengthened their spiritual muscle of hearing (just like reading the Word, worshiping, or praying). I was teaching them that He is safe, good, and trustworthy. In the beginning, it was never about the fruit; it was about building a relationship with Him so that they knew He was there in their time of need. They have repeatedly witnessed Him speaking, showing up, leading, guiding, correcting, healing, loving, encouraging, and helping them. With all of the parenting methods out there today, I am convinced the two greatest gifts I can give my children are knowing how to hear their Father and helping them resolve hurts, lies, and offenses.
Grab your copy today: Conversations with our Creator eBook – Let the Children Fly