DAD’S GROUP

DAD’S GROUP

I heard God say, “Go talk to the men.” I looked around in a room full of people and asked which one. I heard it again, “Go talk to the men.” I wasn’t sure which one I was supposed to go to. When I heard it again, I realized He didn’t say talk to a man, but MEN. I told Him I would but asked what I was supposed to say. He said, “I will tell you.” I waited… and waited… and waited. He finally revealed the message: I am talking to the men – the husbands, fathers, grandpas, leaders, uncles, and brothers.

Men, do not abdicate your mantle. – YouTube

PARENTING TIP

Teach and practice in the time of peace so that they can use it in their time of need.

HIS BRAIN WORKS JUST FINE!

Hudson was asked to empty the trash in the bathroom and left the trash can in the middle of the room. I went to him and said, “Hudson, you are a man of great honor. Could you please go back in the bathroom and see how you could be more honoring?” Instantly, he saw the trash can and completed his task. When a mom acts like a child’s mind, she goes crazy, and the child gets lazy! We can use nearly all corrective situations to empower them (and stay sane!). It is interesting how much of our natural parental correction focuses on what they didn’t do or makes them feel like a failure, but when we learn to flip it to empower them, everyone wins.

As I have learned to partner with the Holy Spirit in my parenting, I have become more solution-focused and less problem-focused. I have empowered my children to discover the answers for themselves rather than me thinking for them and telling them what to do and constantly feeling frustrated by their behavior.

STANDING UP

Emma told me about a book she was supposed to read that included a 12-year-old sleeping with a married man. The wife found out, and the girl put a curse on her. Teen girls dancing naked, blatantly talking about witchcraft and curses, and “bashing my parent’s brain until blood splatters.” She is required to read, write about and discuss this daily for six weeks. As I was praying about what to do, Emma felt she should be a voice and take a stand against it. I have never been more proud of her as I listened to her stand alone for righteousness.

PARENTS – TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN AT AN EARLY AGE WHO THEY ARE EMPOWERS THEM TO STAND AGAINST WHAT THEY ARE NOT. The demonic is real – whether you are a believer or not. It is like opening the door and letting a swarm of flies in your house. Demons, witchcraft, and curses are NOT entertainment; they are spirits.

P.S. After speaking in class, some of the girls privately messaged her saying she was not the only one concerned about the material.

Standing UP – YouTube

SHIFTING MINDSETS

You are not the potter; He is. We must shift from the parenting mindset of ‘shaping’ and ‘molding’ our children into something and learn how to partner, call forth, and pull out what God has ALREADY created them to be. Isaiah 64:8.

PURE GOLD!

“This morning before school, we had an episode at home where a lie was involved. It resulted in us disciplining the child who had lied, who then decided to throw a fit, storming to her bedroom and locking herself in it. Daddy came to the rescue and managed to bring the child downstairs again to finish breakfast and get shoes on to head to school. I felt my child needed a little more explanation on why she was disciplined. I went on to explain that lying breaks Mommy’s trust and her heart. I tried to explain it from many angles and as easily as possible. The other child, who was not involved, comes in and says, ‘Mommy, could I try to explain it in a different way?’ I agreed. Said child puts her two hands together in the format of a bridge and says: ‘This is you (…), and this is Mommy. You guys are close, and you trust each other. When you lie, this bridge gets weaker.’ Slowly separating her hands, she proceeds, ‘Then, if you keep lying, the bridge will break because there will be no trust.’ So, we made an agreement, building a little bridge with our hands, that we would always tell the truth no matter how difficult that truth is and even if we are scared of telling the truth. I realized she was feeling a lot of shame because of telling a lie. So, Daddy (being the most amazing daddy in the world) said, ‘I also lied when I was a kid.’ Her eyes widened, and she asked, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘I was scared.’ I could sense shame falling off of her as she realized that she was not the only person that ever lied. I took the opportunity and also said, ‘Mommy has also lied because I was scared of being punished if I told the truth.’ I could tell she was mind blown by both of us admitting we had lied before. We reinforced the importance of telling the truth no matter what and got them ready for school. As soon as we were done, she jumped up and walked around like the full confident self she was. She came over to say goodbye to me, and we did our special handshakes, and at the end, we built a bridge again, and this time around, there was no shame in her eyes. Lessons learned in this. I’ll definitely take that illustration of trust with me forever. That’s gold! Vulnerability breaks shame! Boom! I love my family more than anything after Jesus!”

THE CROSS IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING!

The Cross is the answer to EVERYTHING! One would never go before a judge and ask for leniency, favor, or judgments against an offending party if they had $1,000 of unpaid parking tickets. You get your affairs in order FIRST before asking for help, favor, and intervention. Approaching God with a pure heart is much more effective than coming to Him offended, full of bitterness and anger. 

Little Foxes – Sometimes, amidst our daily routines, we pick up little foxes along the way. They are subtle but evident. You know, the little things like getting easily annoyed, a sharp tone, not lending a hand, quick tempers, and a lack of basic respect. I saw it in my family too, so I grabbed the kids, and we read about the unforgiving slave in Matthew 18:21-35 and talked about the Father’s heart for forgiveness. We then took out our journals and asked Jesus to highlight any (and all) offenses we were holding onto for each person, myself included. An hour later, we found ourselves wanting to hear how we have hurt each other’s hearts. We canceled the debts the person owed us, handed each person over to Jesus to deal with any character or heart issue (that was powerful), and then we declared the truth over each family member! It was a major spiritual detox, and each of us felt like the heaviness lifted. 

Spiritual Detox – Detoxing our body helps flush out the bad build-up that bogs down our health. Sometimes we need to do a spiritual detox to rid ourselves of the things we have been holding onto that affect our spiritual health, connections, and joy. Does your family need a spiritual detox?

Video – Family Detox – YouTube 

Podcast – Family Detox by Lisa Max – Let the Children Fly! (anchor.fm) 

ORPHAN VS. KINGDOM PARENTING

God created us to be fully alive, deeply accepted, and belong completely. The aftermath of the fall is that man became a spiritual orphan separated from God and wandered around life, feeling profound feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and isolation. The Good News is that Jesus came to restore us back to that place of deep security with the Father. We can accept Christ yet still be wandering like an orphan striving, begging, and doing life on our own. Imagine a child digging through the dump fending for themselves and meeting their needs for food and clothing all on their own day in and day out with no rest in sight. Now picture a palace where the table is always set, and there is a room with your name on it. When we become Christians, we get the honor of living in the palace, yet some enjoy the view and go back to the dump laboring daily to meet their needs. It is impossible to raise a child as a Son/Daughter in God’s Kingdom when you occupy the dump yourself. If you want to raise them in the palace, you have to enter yourself.

Orphan Parenting is when we parent our children from the place of isolation, abandonment, self-protection, striving, loneliness, self-sufficiency, and lack. We are modeling to our children how to live like an orphan, not from Kingdom reality. 

Kingdom Parenting stems from a confidence that you are more than enough and God is doing a good work in YOU; therefore, there is no need to compare yourself to others. You are fully aware of the journey and process the Father has you on because you are intimately walking it out with Him, and you trust Him that He knows best. 

The following list is NOT a pass/fail. It is the JOURNEY of becoming more and more like Him. Everyone starts out as an orphan, and we will spend the rest of our days on earth discovering, realizing, and embracing the love of our Father. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans feel insecure about themselves, their performance, and their worth. They are competitive with others internally and are jealous of others’ success because it reminds them of their lack. 

Kingdom Parenting – Sons/Daughters know they are loved and, out of that place, feel deeply secure to take risks, adventure out, and explore new things. When they see someone else gain what they desire, it gives them hope for what is available. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans cannot rest because they have to constantly be doing ‘good’ in order to feel worthy of His love. They are agitated when children are joyful and carefree because they do not feel they have the right to relax. 

Kingdom Parenting – Sons/Daughters are able to experience the Father’s pleasure over them even when they are resting and are able to be at peace knowing He is well pleased with who they are, not just what they do. They welcome the joy children release. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans feel a gaping hole in their heart that is painful. They strive to fill it with outside sources (shopping, alcohol, porn, social media, etc.), but it only leaves the hole bigger. They often get annoyed with the confidence of a child who operates without the gaping hole. 

Kingdom Parenting – Sons/Daughters are strengthened by intimacy as they have allowed Jesus access to the aches and pains in their hearts, which position them on solid and secure ground.

Orphan Parenting – Orphans have a deep drive for success, but with the goal of feeling worthy or good enough. It puts them in the driver’s seat of their lives at all costs. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters are confident in the plans God has for them and are led by the Holy Spirit to lead them on a life adventure that is full of favor, open doors, and eternal fruit. Their definition of success is measured by obedience, not popularity, ‘likes,’ or bank accounts. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans use people for their gain and advancement. They see people as stepping stones to their own agenda. They see people as an opportunity to network. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters serve those around them to build them up, following Christ’s example to serve and have a high value on connection. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans are annoyed by children and see them as a hindrance to their agenda who drain them of their time, energy, and resources. They respond with dominance, fear, and shame to control the child’s behavior to meet their agenda. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters understand the foolishness and immaturity of a child and respond with love and healthy authority. 

Orphan Parenting – Orphans are often angry and full of rage out of ongoing fear that they cannot control the world around them. They have high levels of anxiety and worry. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters are confident that their Father is in control of all things and has the ability to work all things out for their good. Because their circumstance does not define them, they are able to respond in peace and not react. 

Orphan Parenting – An orphan only feels as good about themselves as their outward appearance, clothing, number of ‘likes,’ material possessions, etc., allow. Orphans are always the first to get the latest trend and are constantly looking for praise and applause from others. 

Kingdom Parenting – Son/Daughters are deeply affirmed by the Creator of the universe that He has created them to be unique and have immeasurable value to Him. They are secure and confident because of their relationship and intimacy with Him. 

The ONLY way to cease acting like an orphan is to embrace the love of the Father and accept the invitation to act like a Son and Daughter. It’s already been paid for. All you have to do is receive.

NO JUNIOR AUTHORITY

Children so desperately need to be taught their authority. If they do not get a junior Holy Spirit, they do not get junior authority either. How many of us were taught that when we were afraid at night to say, “In the name of Jesus, Satan flee?” While few of us deeply understand our authority, the enemy still had to obey and flee when we used the authority paid for us by the blood of Jesus. Imagine how powerful this next generation would be if children would see the enemy’s tricks for what they were and step over it!? How will they know unless we teach them? Isaiah 11:8.

“My son told my husband there was a ‘bumblebee’ in the corner of his bed, and it was so scary that he couldn’t sleep. My husband first prayed over it and then taught our son to say, ‘Go away in Jesus’ name.’ He fell right asleep after that. Praise God!!”

Kids have a limited vocabulary and range of understanding, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t seeing/hearing things in the spiritual realm. It takes a wise parent to really ‘hear’ what the child is saying. It had nothing to do with bumblebees and everything to do with fear of being in the room. Kudos to this father for ‘hearing’ his son.