CREATING MEMORY STONES

CREATING MEMORY STONES

Has the Lord done anything in your life? Luke 19:40 – “If we keep quiet (and don’t praise God), the stones will cry out.” Why would you and I remain silent, forfeiting the joy and praising God for what He has done? No testimony is too small. Whenever you see God move, write it down and when your child is in need of Him, remind them of His history with them. Encourage them to have faith that He will do it again and spend time together remembering God’s goodness.

God has done so much in my children’s lives. I want to always remember those ‘parting of the sea’ moments, the times He showed up and saved the day, when He tangibly loved like a tender Father, provided for us, revealed HIS protection, lavished undeserved favor, or spoke to us. 

Years ago, I saw a sign that said BLESSED at a store, and it hit me. We aren’t ‘blessed’ in a religious way, but as in a verb that states we’ve experienced Him in tangible and real ways. ‘Blessed’ for us isn’t just a nice descriptive adjective. It is our lifestyle.

Despite being quite pricey and not of the best quality, I bought the sign and called a family meeting. We talked about having stones of remembrance and reflected on the testimonies each one of us carry. We took turns writing them on the board. I hope that this board is all black by the end of my life and can’t contain all that God has done in our lives.

Has God done anything in your family? Why not create your own MEMORY STONES of what He has done.

FOLLOW MY VOICE

God not only wants us to obey, but He wants us to obey right away (and with a joyful heart). He wants our obedience to not be out of fear but out of trusting that He is for us, and He is good. 

Buy a package of small, sweet treats and place them around the house. Call a family meeting and tell them you are going to play a game. Ask for a volunteer, blindfold them, and then give them short, easy instructions on how to find the first hidden treat. Allow them to enjoy the treat and ask for another volunteer. Do this until all of the treats are found. 

Gather the children and explain to them that God is a good Father and knows how to lead us to His blessings, but we have to listen AND follow His instructions. Highlight that if you said to go left and they went right they would not have found the treat. Obedience is what leads us to His best. 

Ask for a volunteer to read Exodus 20:12 – “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

To honor means to respect and hold in high regard (like a prized toy, not a cheap broken one). 

Remind them that your role as the head of your home is to lead your children to safety and help them become all that God created them to be, and that hearing your voice and obeying not only immediately, but joyfully, is KEY to a blessed life. 

In the days to come, when you give instructions and your child is not responding with honor and respect, lovingly come alongside them and say, “Hey buddy, do you remember when you found the sweet treats because you followed my voice? I need for you to honor what I am instructing you to do now.”

HOW WOULD JESUS RESPOND?

I encourage you to watch this short four-minute video first and then call a family meeting and show the children. Stop the video at different times and ask them questions about what they see. Help them to crawl into empathy for the boy by saying something like, “Could you imagine how hard that would be?” or “How would that make your heart feel to sit in front of your friends after the teacher did that?” Just create space for conversation and then watch the video until the end. Ask them how they would want others to respond to them or how Jesus would want us to respond to others around us. The moral of the story is that we truly do not know what is going on in someone else’s world. 

“SORRY ” OSCAR WINNER MOVIE HEART TOUCHING MOVIE – YouTube

I SPY

In the days ahead, be spies for God by calling out every time you see God showing His love, protection, care and tenderness for your children. When you see God’s faithfulness, love, and protection over them, call it out. 

“Sweetie, that was God. He loves you so much”, “Buddy, that was God watching out for you”, “WOW, I love how God takes care of you by _____.”

OUR FAMILY IS CONNECTED

Call a family meeting and tell everyone they need to put on pants or shorts with a belt loop.

Bring a rope or ball of yarn and have each family member sit in a circle close together. Remind them how you are all connected by God’s design. We have a job description to figure out how to not only get along but to love each other well.

I tell my children that the sibling who causes their heart frustration is providing a training ground for their future roommates, employer, or even their spouse. It is okay that there is a journey of becoming more like Jesus.

Begin to loop one end of the rope through the belt loop of your pants and then pass it onto the next person. Give a little wiggle room between persons (about two feet). After the last person is roped in, tell them that God sees your family roped together and there is no beginning or end. Regardless of your life journey in the years ahead, you will always be called family with the people sitting before you.

Tell them that you are going to spend the next hour together – literally! Set the alarm on your phone and begin by standing up, and where one goes, you all go. Does anyone need a snack? Try walking in the kitchen together and whip up something to eat. What’s next? How about trying to sit and play a game together. Does the mail need to be brought in? Give it a try (together, of course).  

There will be laughter along the way, and there may also be some frustrations. That’s okay. Keep going. After an hour, wiggle your way to the family room and cut everyone loose but talk about how it is impossible to be separated from each other in God’s eyes. When one part of the family endures something, it affects the whole family. While we want to learn how to manage ourselves, we also take care of the family unit God has entrusted to us.

In the days ahead, when you are witnessing sharp tones, disrespect towards each other, or selfishness, lovingly come to that child and remind them of this exercise. Ask if there is a way they could respond that communicates care for THEIR family.

UNDER MY COVERING

When my children were all toddlers, I brought them outside on a hot summer day and gave them an umbrella to play with. Oh, they had so much fun with it!

I then took the garden hose and sprayed it up in the air to land on them. They all screamed and giggled under their protective covering. I asked them to set the umbrellas down by the door and they went off to play again but I surprised them with a burst of water from the hose. This time they were left uncovered, and all went scrambling to grab and open their umbrellas. We sure had a lot of laughter and joy that afternoon. 

I sat them down and explained that staying under the umbrella kept them safe from the hot sun and the water pouring down from the hose. While the sun and water did not harm them, if they stayed outside for a long time, it could. I helped them to see the same is true with the covering that God and I have put over them to keep them safe. There is freedom to laugh and play and have a great time, but when you get out from under the umbrella, you can get burned or drenched! 

I explained that my umbrella represents the rules of the home, and God’s umbrella represents Biblical principles and obeying His commands. When the kids would disobey, I explained that they were getting a consequence because they chose to get out from under the umbrella. The love, favor, and blessings NEVER leave no matter what we do, but we can position ourselves directly under His wing or move far from it. The choice is ours and it is called free will. We have the right to choose whatever we want but the question is what do we want to choose? His ways and remain protected, or our way and deal with the consequences? 

Soon the kids began to understand this principle and all I would have to do is take my one index finger and point it up while taking the other like a cup and holding it over the index finger (to represent the umbrella), which signaled to them they weren’t obeying or staying under the umbrella with their choice.

Why not have some fun today with an umbrella, garden hose and teaching your child how to stay under your covering?

FEEDING THEIR SPIRIT

Gather the kids and talk about the importance of feeding their bodies with healthy food. Remind them of the difference between sugar treats and healthy foods that produce fuel for their growing bodies. What would happen if they skipped a meal or a day’s worth of eating? Their tummy would begin to rumble, and soon, their discomfort would affect their emotions. Then talk about how God has given them a brain to think and how significant our thoughts are. If we say to ourselves, “I am stupid,” we will begin to feel stupid and eventually will act stupid. God wants us to feed our minds with thoughts that are in alignment with what He thinks about us, “I am priceless,” “I matter,” “My voice is significant,” “I am loved.”

Talk about our spirits and the importance of feeding our spirit with life-giving things such as worship, talking with God, hearing what He has to say to others, reading the Word, loving others, thanking Him, asking Him for help, sharing testimonies, etc. When we feed our spirit with things like fear, lies, nursing hurts, offenses, and being entertained by the things of the enemy (murder games, violence, etc.), we will have a much harder time experiencing His love which He designed to be poured out to those around us. He still loves us, but our ability to receive and embrace it is affected. I often use this language with my children, especially after I notice the fruit of not being fed, “Hey, what have you done lately to feed your spirit? It looks to me like you might need to sneak away and spend some time with Jesus.” Or “Wow, that comment was not very kind. What things are you feeding your mind lately?”

All of these things are like putting a spoonful of fresh, organic veggies in our mind and spirit. Failure to feed our mind and spirit leaves us dry, empty and feeling disconnected. Help your children make a list of ways they can feed their mind and spirit and then feed them daily.

THE BITTER TASTE OF SIN

Take a tiny pinch of coffee grounds and spread them over the kitchen floor. Invite your children to join you in the kitchen and ask them to help you find the coffee grounds on the floor. “Hey guys, I dropped my coffee grounds. Can you help me find them?” It won’t be easy to find them all spread out. Then ask them to close their eyes and quickly dump a visual amount on the ground. This time ask them to pick up the coffee grounds… but one little grain at a time. Spend a few moments attempting to do this impossible task. You might want to lie down on your tummy and get serious, “One, two, three. Sarah, how many did you get? Four, five?” When they lament that it is impossible, take a broom and sweep up the coffee. Sit the kids down and talk about the kitchen floor representing the whole wide world – there are no separate regions or countries – just one big piece of land. Explain that the tiny grain of coffee represents sin in the world. What is sin? Sin is anything we do that goes against what God has planned for us. Sin is when we break God’s household rules. He isn’t mad at us when we sin, but it makes Him sad because He designed us to be loved, blessed, protected, and full of joy, and sin robs us of that. Help them see that God knows every grain of coffee, even those they couldn’t find or see with their eyes. Explain to them that there are many coffee grounds (sin) in the world right now for others to see. Every family will have a different grid regarding what your children know about the world’s affairs, but you can filter it through the coffee grounds analogy when they see, hear or feel things.

Example: You are driving and see vandalism, graffiti, or broken windows. Mom – “That is sad that someone broke that window.” Child – “Who broke it?” Mom – “I don’t know.” Child – “If you don’t know who broke it, how can the police arrest them?” Mom – “Remember the grains of coffee on the kitchen floor? Breaking things is a sin; even if he gets away with it and never gets caught by the police, God saw it, and God knows.”

Example: The kids see or hear something on the news and ask you about it. You can give them human wisdom and intellectual understanding or anchor them to the truth that God sees, knows, and is aware. A GREAT response is, “Wow, that is a great question. I have some thoughts, but let’s ask Jesus what He thinks.” I did this once about something I was so assured of the response, and He showed me something different, which created a powerful family discussion. 

The God who sees, hears, and knows all has made Himself available to us through Jesus to come and talk to Him – ASK HIM! Jeremiah 33:3 – “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” 

Bitter Cup – We want to help our children understand that we ALL sin. Each of us has a grain of coffee (sin) with our name on it. Make some strong coffee and let your children take a sip. None of us are blameless before Him. Share something you did recently that was a sin. Ask them to remember something they did. Explain that sin is like strong coffee that tastes bitter. HERE IS THE KEY: While we ALL sin, God has given us provision for how to clean it up. How? By confessing (whoops – Jesus, I blew it) and by asking for HIS forgiveness (He took the spanking for us on the Cross). When we do that, He removes the grain of coffee with our name on it. 

In the days ahead, when they violate your household rules, you can lovingly remind them of the bitter coffee and say, “Sweetheart, when you _____, it was a sin. Do you want to hold onto that bitter cup or come give it to Jesus?” 

Cream & Sugar – He does not want us to pour some cream and sugar on the coffee (sin) to make it taste better. Sin is bitter, and He wants to remove it from us. Teach your children that when they sin and cover it up, keep it a secret, blame someone else or deny it; it is like pouring a pound of sugar in the coffee cup. You can do this as a visual for the children. Instead, He wants us to offer up the coffee cup to Him and hand it over, never to drink from it again. 

Injustice of No Discipline – Organically speaking, sin does not feel good. When we fail to discipline our children, we rob them of a way out of their sins, which only teaches them to ignore the guilt. By addressing sin, even at a young age, we allow them to make it right and remove the guilt. Guilt that is piled up can lead to shame. God knows we have flesh and live in a fallen world and has not left us in condemnation. Confessing sin is an acknowledgment of wrongdoing and the opportunity to make it right with God and others. 

Sin is bitter. Forgiveness is sweet. It’s time to brew some coffee!

MOM’S REPORT CARD

Every once in a while, the Lord nudges me to be a student of my children’s evaluation of me as a mom. I have authority in the home, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn from my children. I called a family meeting and reminded each of them of a recent event where they made a mess. I asked them to come up with a list together on #1. What could I have done better (in that situation), and #2. What did their heart need from me? They went to the back room and began to create a list of answers. While I already knew the areas I could improve in as a parent, what was highlighted was their deepest desire for me to HELP them in their mess. It is so easy for a parent to focus on the fruit of their choices, but I was given yet another reminder to stay focused on empowering them with tools and solutions to not only clean up the mess but also prevent them in the future. This is a profound way to let their voices be heard now, in childhood, about the things their heart needs.

THE GREAT SHAKING

Can you feel it? The tension with relationships, systems, church structures, and mindsets. Everything that can be shaken is being shaken.

Gather a strainer, powdered sugar, and small pebbles (or popcorn kernels). Invite the family to the kitchen and with the strainer resting on the counter throw in a pebble and call it ‘love.’ Toss in another and call it ‘kindness.’ Then dump a spoonful of sugar and call it ‘selfishness.’ Add another heaping called ‘jealousy.’ Continue to do this with the rocks representing the fruit of the Spirit and the sugar representing the things of the flesh. After a while, raise the strainer and begin to shake it back and forth over and over. As the sugar falls to the ground, explain that God is shaking things in our lives to remove the sin, mindsets, worry, fear, and flesh from us so that the only thing that remains is His Kingdom.

Read together Hebrews 12:25-27. Explain that the things that are of Him will endure the shaking and last forever, which is something we can align our lives with and celebrate. However, everything that is not of Him, or His Kingdom, will be shaken until it falls. Talk about the things in your world that God is shaking and the purpose of it. Allow the children to see that while we are enduring hard seasons, there is good behind it. How we respond to the shaking is crucial.

Hebrews 12:25-27 (MSG) – “So don’t turn a deaf ear to these gracious words. If those who ignored earthly warnings didn’t get away with it, what will happen to us if we turn our backs on heavenly warnings? His voice that time shook the earth to its foundations; this time – he’s told us this quite plainly – he’ll also rock the heavens: ‘One last shaking, from top to bottom, stem to stern.’ The phrase ‘one last shaking’ means a thorough housecleaning, getting rid of all the historical and religious junk so that the unshakable essentials stand clear and uncluttered.”

Do you see what we’ve got? An unshakable Kingdom! And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For God is not an indifferent bystander. He’s actively cleaning house, torching all that needs to burn, and He won’t quit until it’s all cleansed. God Himself is Fire!

10 RULES FOR COMMUNITY

The Israelites were slaves to an unfair and unkind master. They were afraid and ruled by intimidation. They had lost their voice and ability to think for themselves. They no longer knew how to live like family but rather as slaves to fear.

Before God used Moses to lead them out of slavery, He established the rules for how to live in community peacefully. Sadly, it took them forty years to figure out not to put other gods before Him. Many moms, dads, and grandparents missed out on the land God promised because they failed to listen to His instructions. We have to choose what kind of family we want to be – one who receives all that God has for us because we have honored and listened to His instructions or one that misses out. 

As a family, read out loud one of the 10 Commandments and then stop to ask, “Jesus, is there anything You want to show me about my life and Your household rules?” If He shows you anything, make it right by praying, “Jesus, I confess that I have _____. Will You please forgive me?” 

You can do each of them in one family meeting or perhaps one a night. We did this as a family, and it was eye-opening what He showed us.