COURTS OF HEAVEN TESTIMONY

COURTS OF HEAVEN TESTIMONY

  • Podcasts, Testimonies, Videos

FULL CIRCLE

My parents went through a terrible divorce, and we remained with my mom full-time. Before my dad died, he shared the painful story of how he went to Hawaii and wrote the names of my siblings and me in the sand. When the waves washed our names away, he said goodbye to each of his four children as if we had died. It was his way of processing the pain and letting go. Years later, I visited the very island my dad said goodbye to me. I felt the Lord wake me early to write my children’s names in the sand, but I am not letting them go, nor am I grieving them. Instead, I surrendered them to the Father, who will never leave or forsake them; a Father who holds their future and embraces their heart today and forever.

SHE IS DIFFERENT

I took my twins on a day trip to go shopping. I had an allotted amount in my mind that I wanted to lavish on them. I envisioned spending the whole time focusing on them and making them feel seen and special. The first two stores were on my list, and I zoomed in and out at record speed, knowing we had a lot of ground to cover. We went to Forever 21, and two hours later, Emma was ready for the dressing room. There was no place to sit, so I camped out on the dirty floor as the girls giggled, tried on their clothes, and came out to show me. An hour later, Emma is still putting on her fashion show, and I am growing agitated. I rebuked my inner attitude and told it to be joyful (it didn’t work, but I tried). I have never been so excited to leave a store. We entered the next one, and the same thing happened. The first 30 minutes were fun exploring the store, but an hour later, Lauren and I sat there with her pile of selected items waiting for Emma to come out with outfit #88. I released my frustration by commenting, “Are you almost done?” with a tone that communicated I wasn’t enjoying this as much as she was. I felt like I was going to lose it and heard the Lord say, “Go ahead, but you will have to clean up your mess.” As I sat there processing the mess I was about to make (and weighing if it was worth it), I suddenly saw clearly that this wasn’t a case of Emma doing something wrong but about us having utterly different shopping styles. God showed me a picture of releasing my frustration in a way that communicated to my daughter that there was something wrong with her and that she needed to conform to make me comfortable. I realized this is how young girls shut down and turn from their true selves. They are raised to keep mama happy and deny their true selves to keep connection and peace. This is never a child’s job description, and we need to be super careful we are managing our hearts so that we don’t unintentionally shut down our true selves. Suddenly, I noticed that Emma came out of the room with her original clothes on but still had a pile to try on. Her entire demeanor was different, and the joy was gone from her eyes. I asked her why and she said, “It’s okay. I realize I took too long,” but her real heart was sad and disappointed. I wrestled with managing my own frustrations and caring for her heart. We sat on the bench outside the store, and I began to tell her what God had shown me. It was uber important for her to see that her style of shopping stretches me to the core, but that didn’t mean her way was wrong. She was NOT in sin or disobedience, nor was anything wrong with her. She would have giggled the entire time if she had been with peers. However, I explained to her that shopping with me meant she might need to tone it down a bit, not because it was wrong, but to honor those around her. I checked in with her a couple of times to ensure she wasn’t partnering with lies or feeling like something was wrong with her just because I am wired differently from her. I gave her examples of times I have stretched others and had to learn when to tone it down to honor them while still being true to how I was created. It is a dance of learning how to manage our hearts and parenting our child’s hearts.

MY SON

My son is just that – MY SON! He had made a mess by going against my instructions, not once but three times. He wanted something and felt tempted by it even though he knew it was wrong. As we walked through this, something really hurt my heart, and I had to process it with the Lord. Yes, teens rebel. I get that. Teen brain is a real thing. Yes, kids make messes. I get that. Foolishness is the right of the immature. But I am his mother and have established trust his entire life, and I am not about to let teen brain speak to him otherwise about who I am as his mom. I told him part of his consequence is to go back and handle the situation differently. He had to put some effort into really pondering how he could have done it differently, and I suggested he write me a note. Tears came to my eyes as I read his HEART on paper, communicating his wants and desires with me and asking for permission to ‘break the rule’ for the reasons listed. It was respectful, kind, and quite mature. I came to him and asked how he felt about the mess he had made and the consequences given. He felt awful as tears were still fresh in his eyes. I told him that God cares about the desires of his heart, and SO DO I. Had he taken the time to bring his desires in the light, he most likely could have not only had his wish granted but without the price tag of lying and breaking connection. Sin never works well in the long wrong, and I am so glad he is learning this more and more now.

PRACTICING THE PROPHETIC

When I was teaching the children about the prophetic, I asked the kids to ask Papa what He wanted to say to the front desk gal at the doctor’s office. Kids barely recalled who she was, but were confident God knew her, and we asked anyway. One got “God’s not mad at you,” another got “It’s not your fault.” The youngest one just drew a picture of a dog. And another got a picture of a present with the message, “Something good is coming your way soon.” I wasn’t sure if I should release the words since they seemed a little out there, but I felt God was telling her it was okay. When they arrived, she was away from her desk, but her computer screen had a picture of her and a dog. When she returned, they asked her if that was her dog, and she started crying. I felt led to share the prophetic cards, and then the lady shared that something awful happened to the dog, and she felt like it was her fault and shouldn’t be trusted with another dog. The cards meant a lot to her hurting heart and removed the guilt. Our flowing in the prophetic as a family has allowed us to be the light to those around us.

SEXUAL SAFETY

One of the most vulnerable households for child sexual assault is the house that is run by ‘because I said so,’ and a legalistic one because they operate out of a list of rules and total parental authority and often fail to listen to the child. Children cannot hold in such a horrendous lie and/or the worry that abuse causes. They might not come right out and say that XYZ happened, but they will let it leak out, and we need ears to LISTEN TO THEM!

Here is a sad but true example: A little 4th grader came home from his youth group in a foul mood. The mom repeatedly disciplined him for his attitude, but he would not shake it. Finally, she asked him how youth group went, and he said, “I hated it.” She replied that he must go anyway because it was expected of him. He yelled out that his teacher was gay, and the mother swooshed him to his bedroom for talking inappropriately about someone. Had the mother listened to the child, she would have seen that he used to love youth group, and the sudden change warranted investigation. When a young child talks about an adult being gay, it should warrant you to find out why the child thinks that way, how he knows that of the youth leader, etc. If she had only asked and inquired deeper, she would have learned that her son was molested that night, only to come home and be disciplined for not wanting to return. I call it ‘pulling on the rope.’ When a child makes a harsh comment, pull on the rope by asking WHY questions. Not all ill words are a character issue; sometimes, they are flags waving to get our attention.

EYES BACK ON HIM

I witnessed a healing miracle. Maybe you need one too. A girl was plagued with a fever that would not let up. As I gathered the kids to pray, we all sensed her joy would return, and I heard that it was from being super sensitive to what was happening in the world. I called the dad to share, and he said he just heard the Lord say she was “sick to her stomach” (emotionally). They dealt with her anxiety and focused her eyes back on Jesus, not the storm, and within MINUTES her fever broke. The next day a friend mentioned that her back was still hurting from mowing the lawn. I got a picture in my mind that she was carrying emotional weight around, so I asked her to ask, “Jesus, am I carrying something that You want to carry for me?” and AS SHE PRAYED, the pain reduced.

When we are not processing our emotions fully for whatever reason, it can affect our physical body. Disease is a breakdown of our physical bodies, but long before there is a disease, there is a lack of EASE (harmony). God made our mind, body, and spirit to be in perfect harmony, working together. When parts of our body are out of alignment, it will affect other areas. We speak healing and freedom to your whole mind, body, and spirit.

What about you? Have you noticed an increase in physical symptoms, aches, and pains? Ask Jesus if you need to release some emotional trauma or stress that your body is holding onto.

MY FIRE

I had a dream. We were having a gorgeous church potluck-style gathering in a massive lodge. There was so much activity going on, from bean bag tosses to archery to great food. Everyone was lively and having a great time. Something caught my eye, and I wandered outside, where I found these larger-than-life boulders that you had to climb down a bit to get to this raging bonfire that radiated heat. It was memorizing. Many fires were going on, but each required some effort to get close to it. I was lonely outside by myself, so I decided to go back to where the party was, but as I did, I noticed a fire at the end that was really bright, and I wondered if it was unmanaged or even getting out of control. I hiked to it and found the most beautiful fire sitting all by itself. It felt so strange to have a fire with no one around. I wanted to be with the people but couldn’t abandon the fire. I woke up and heard the Lord say, “My people do not know how to be entertained by MY fire.” There has been a profound invitation to be still and at peace with His fire and to allow it to transform as fire transforms whatever it consumes. I am finding a place of peace I am not sure I have ever encountered.

How about you? Are you still longing for the party, or have you wandered alone to the fire? 

I SALUTE YOU!

Veterans are very dear to my heart. One day we were in the frozen foods aisle, and an elderly man was walking towards us in a brand-new shiny Veterans hat. I stopped and asked him if he was a Veteran. He was taken aback, and I quickly mentioned that his hat was so crisp and new. He got tears in his eyes and said he was a Veteran but too ashamed to wear his hat. A week earlier, his buddy had chewed him out for never wearing it and told him he needed to wear it with pride. That was his first outing wearing it. He pulled out his worn wallet and showed me a photo of all the medals he had earned, including the Purple Heart. He was injured as a Medevac but went to sign on for another term. I can’t fully describe to you what happened, but tears came pouring out of my eyes. I stood up straight, grabbed my son, and said, “Hudson, THIS is what a real hero is,” Tears began to fall from the man’s eyes. Another shopper stopped, I introduced them, and they stopped to shake his hand. Then another shopper came to salute him. This went on for a while, and we had a small gathering of people in the frozen food aisle honoring this hero. That man was full of shame but walked out of the frozen food aisle the hero he really was!